
The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
A Path to Peace and Power
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Narrated by:
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Katherine Morgan Schafler
About this listen
Selected for USA Today's Best Books of 2023
Selected as Editor's Pick in Amazon's Best Books of 2023
From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every “recovering perfectionist” to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves.
We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.
Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!
Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.
©2023 Katherine Morgan Schafler (P)2023 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“From an emerging thought leader, an irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life."—Deepak Chopra, New York Times bestselling author of Abundance
"A valuable, much-needed perspective that gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
"An accessible, actionable guide for how to aim high without overthinking or punishing yourself along the way. This book is a must-read for anxious achievers who want to remain ambitious but could operate with a bit more self-compassion."—Liz Fosslien, coauthor and illustrator of the bestselling books Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings
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Not Really About Wisdom. Nothing New Here.
- By Douglas C. Bates on 05-02-16
By: Thomas Gilovich, and others
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Permission to Rest
- Revolutionary Practices for Healing, Empowerment, and Collective Care
- By: Ashley Neese
- Narrated by: Ashley Neese
- Length: 4 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a culture that constantly tells us to do more of everything but simultaneously pressures us to do nothing, Permission to Rest is a passionate cry for a more regulated, resourced, and rested life. Wellness expert Ashley Neese combines personal essays, contemplative questions, scientific research, and somatic practices to help us disrupt the state of urgency, reflect inward, and relax deeply. Neese examines common beliefs around rest and offers support and guidance to challenge the shame, guilt, and discomfort that often arise when we attempt to slow down.
By: Ashley Neese
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The Book of Moods
- How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life
- By: Lauren Martin
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
- By Shana Osborne on 02-23-21
By: Lauren Martin
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Everyday Vitality
- Turning Stress into Strength
- By: Samantha Boardman
- Narrated by: Samantha Boardman
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Everyday Vitality, psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman shows listeners how to find strength within their stress and how to transform full days into more fulfilling days. Drawing from scientific research and her own clinical experience, she shares strategies for cultivating vitality - the positive feeling of aliveness and energy that lies at the core of well-being and at the heart of a good day.
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This book shows you what truly matters in life
- By Daniel on 09-24-21
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Everything Happens for a Reason
- Finding the True Meaning of the Events in Our Lives
- By: Mira Kirshenbaum
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In each of our lives we are faced with events that seem inexplicable, unjust, even cruel - events that can shatter our perception of the world, our understanding of ourselves, and our faith in a higher power. Friends and family members often offer comfort with "Everything happens for a reason" - a simple, common phrase with an unbearably elusive meaning. In Everything Happens for a Reason, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum helps us understand the principles behind this frequently used phrase and provides us with tools to grasp its true meaning.
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Excellent!!!! Listened to it 3X
- By TTR on 06-19-24
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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Life Can Be Good Again
- Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart
- By: Lisa Appelo
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you do when you are suddenly navigating a life you didn't sign up for? You never saw this pain coming, and you're facing a future you'd pass up if you could. Lisa Appelo understands deeply. She has experienced the raw emotions and uncertainty that come when everything falls apart. Lisa went to bed married and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children. She wrestled with impossible questions about her future—and then found life-changing answers that gave her the strength to move forward with true joy.
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This book led me to view my grief differently.
- By vwils on 08-21-23
By: Lisa Appelo
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How to Work for an Idiot (Revised and Expanded with More Idiots, More Insanity, and More Incompetency)
- Survive and Thrive Without Killing Your Boss
- By: John Hoover
- Narrated by: Brian Sutherland
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Was it a typo when the CEO mandated that the organization "institutionalize incompetents"? If not, how did the company wind up institutionalizing incompetence instead? How to Work for an Idiot is still the confessions of a recovering Idiot Boss. After decades of writing and consulting, Dr. Hoover finally realized that many of the people he kept trying to "energize" and "enlighten" were, well, idiots. More importantly, he was an idiot for thinking he could change them. This new edition is bigger and better - and filled with even more idiots - than before.
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Expected Better
- By bmalenius on 11-01-17
By: John Hoover
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Surrounded by Liars
- How to Stop Half-Truths, Deception, and Gaslighting from Ruining Your Life
- By: Thomas Erikson
- Narrated by: David John
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you ever have the feeling that your friend isn’t telling you the whole story? Or that your colleague’s answer doesn’t quite add up? Whether in your personal or social life, professional life, or on the news or media, sorting the lies from the truth can be exhausting and make you feel constantly on edge. In the latest installment of the Surrounded by Idiots series, Thomas Erikson shows you how to identify and deal with the liars in your life.
By: Thomas Erikson
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Money Mindset
- Formulating a Wealth Strategy in the 21st Century
- By: Jacob Gold
- Narrated by: Chris Smart
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The speed at which the world is evolving is compounding exponentially each day, leaving individual investors wondering how to appropriately plan for their financial future. The financial norms that helped prior generations retire with grace are quickly evaporating or have already been replaced with new difficult realities. Money Mindset is an expert-led guide to growing your wealth, protecting your wealth, and transferring your wealth to future generations.
By: Jacob Gold
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You Are Not Lazy, You Are a Perfectionist
- Laziness Is Not a Part of You When Anxiety Strikes! Know Why Your Deadlines Slip Away and Gradually Wipe Out the Perfectionism-Procrastination Cycles
- By: J.C. Secche
- Narrated by: Keith L. O'Brien
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Do ideas race in your head, one competing to outdo the other in an infinite loop, preventing you from getting to the action stage? Do you intend to do many projects to change the world but find yourself unable to get started even on the first one in your long, winding to-do list? I got you right this time! You are not lazy, you are a perfectionist! Be embarrassed no more after today as your never-ending piles of tasks are going to be neatly checked and tucked away. No more sweating, snoozing, and sabotaging, for smiling is the new norm!
By: J.C. Secche
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Strangers to Ourselves
- Unsettled Minds and the Stories That Make Us
- By: Rachel Aviv
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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In a powerful and gripping debut, Rachel Aviv raises fundamental questions about how we understand ourselves in periods of crisis and distress. Drawing on deep, original reporting as well as unpublished journals and memoirs, Aviv writes about people who have come up against the limits of psychiatric explanations for who they are. Animated by a profound sense of empathy, Aviv’s exploration is refracted through her own account of living in a hospital ward at the age of six and meeting a fellow patient with whom her life runs parallel—until it no longer does.
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Just Falls Short ...
- By Jenny Jenkins on 01-15-23
By: Rachel Aviv
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The Book of Minds
- How to Understand Ourselves and Other Beings, from Animals to AI to Aliens
- By: Philip Ball
- Narrated by: James Cameron Stewart
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Sciences from zoology to astrobiology, computer science to neuroscience, are seeking to understand minds in their own distinct disciplinary realms. Taking a uniquely broad view of minds and where to find them—including in plants, aliens, and God—Philip Ball pulls the pieces together to explore what sorts of minds we might expect to find in the universe.
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The book was like an engrossing conversation but the delivery of
- By JamesW on 11-15-22
By: Philip Ball
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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Confidence
- How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals
- By: Martin Meadows
- Narrated by: John Gagnepain
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Sometimes we lack discipline or motivation. However, there's another reason why you might struggle to make changes in your life - you have low self-efficacy. What is self-efficacy? What are the main four sources of it? How can you develop more confidence in your abilities? These are some of the questions I'll answer in this short book. The advice you're about to read is based both on scientific research and my personal experience.
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Condensed tips
- By eva on 09-04-15
By: Martin Meadows
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The Deadline Effect
- How to Work Like It's the Last Minute - Before the Last Minute
- By: Christopher Cox
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Perfectionists and procrastinators alike agree - it’s natural to dread a deadline. Whether you are completing a masterpiece or just checking off an overwhelming to-do list, the ticking clock signals despair. Christopher Cox knows the panic of the looming deadline all too well - as a magazine editor, he has spent years overseeing writers and journalists who couldn’t meet a deadline to save their lives. After putting in a few too many late nights in the newsroom, he became determined to learn the secret of managing deadlines.
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Good story but totally non sequitur
- By Carlos on 07-16-21
By: Christopher Cox
Loved it!
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Best book I’ve read in a decade
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Fantastic book
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Important guide to understand motivation/behavior
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Beautiful
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Ex. That dads can’t feel the equivalent of mom guilt, or any of the quandaries of trying to be it all, etc. is pure bunk. The rhythm of enjoying the book & garnering all one can to self-understand was frequently disrupted by a tirade of exclusionist & inaccurate stereotyping. It took a moment after each incident to pause, recenter, & recall she was only speaking from her experience, rather than objectively, but I get there’s a general perception.
Almost perfect, except the exclusionist gender generalizations.
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So good!
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So good. So helpful.
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The extremely valuable toolkit for mental health
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Fantastic
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