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Needing to Know for Sure
- A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking
- Narrated by: Holly Adams
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
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Publisher's summary
"How do I know I made the right decision?" "What if I'm wrong?" "I need to know for sure."
Do you have thoughts like these - thoughts that cause you to second-guess yourself? Do you find yourself repeatedly checking your email for no reason, asking others for their opinions about something again and again, or lying awake at night overanalyzing and planning ahead in an attempt to feel less anxious? If so, you probably have a problem with compulsive reassurance seeking. The good news is that you can break free from this "reassurance trap" - this book will show you how.
In this unique guide, you'll find proven-effective tips and tools using CBT to help you tolerate uncertainty, face specific worrying scenarios, and gradually reduce the compulsion to incessantly seek reassurance. Most importantly, you'll learn to deal with those pesky "doubt attacks" and trust your own judgment.
Asking for reassurance is a self-reinforcing behavior - if you do it, you're less likely to handle stressful situations without needing further reassurance. And so the cycle continues. The CBT skills in this book will help you break this exhausting and painful pattern, so you can build self-confidence and improve your life.
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
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Rewire
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
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An empowering journey through the mechanisms of the mind from one of the world’s leading mental health experts.
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it's just ok
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
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The inner critic is the voice inside our heads reminding us that we are never "good enough". It's behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value. The inner critic might feel overpowering, but it can be managed effectively. Meditation teacher and therapist Mark Coleman helps listeners understand and free themselves from the inner critic using the tools of mindfulness and compassion.
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Life changing!
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The Undervalued Self
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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What listeners say about Needing to Know for Sure
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- realfood
- 11-03-24
very good. A bit repetitive but good
I found it very reassuring LOL to know that I was not crazy that this was not rooted in insecurity that this was not because I was trying to be a control freak, but that this was an issue of being extremely uncomfortable with uncertainty.
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- Ian
- 01-23-24
Very understanding way of looking at anxiety
Lots of good resources to help work through uncertainty I find it might be helpful to have someone to go through it with you (therapist) because of how challenging stopping the reassurance can be
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- Gina
- 02-01-24
Worth the listen
If you even think this may help you, listen to it, very well read and helped me feel like there’s hope to be better.
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- Emily Johnson
- 03-27-24
Life changing book
I thank God for this book that has offered a lifetime to people with a mind like me
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- Amanda Buccheri
- 01-29-23
Absolutely loved it
This book is exactly what I needed to hear in my life right now. I highly recommend it to anyone who suffers from ocd/anxiety. The writing was amazing and these doctors clearly know what they are talking about. It was easy to follow and understand. I thought the narrator did a great job too. She spoke in a very soothing, sympathetic tone that made me feel calm, safe and not judged.
The only criticism I can give is that they should have marketed this book more toward ocd. Almost every scenario seemed to highlight someone with severe ocd, not just anxiety. Sadly, the two usually are locked hand in hand. I really enjoyed all of the specific stories of the suffering individuals. My ocd has leap frogged to nearly every of those examples at some point throughout my life. I felt such compassion and sadness for all of them though it was also comforting to see how many others suffer from ocd as sometimes I feel so alone. They strive to make their lives better with their obsessions and compulsions but sadly, ocd always makes everything worse.
This book gives a lot of great coping methods though it may startle some ppl to feel like they have “no control over anything” and that “certainty does not exist.” I’m not sure I entirely agree with that thinking but it was relieving to discover that most of my efforts are useless, particularly for the things I worry about. One line really resonated with me, “weigh your efforts against the cost of your hyper-vigilance.” This really spoke to me bc almost always, my constant checking and ruminating simply enrage and hurt those around me, I never succeed in preventing anything from happening or predicting the future. But ocd often tricks you into feeling like worry is productive.
One of my main compulsions is validation seeking, my ocd is ravenous for reassurance. Anything I am ruminating over, no matter how nonsensical, I turn to the internet and my loved ones for hours of validation. I am going to do my best to let these moments pass and to tap more into my wise mind, though I guess I will need to find it first if worried voice ever shuts up lol.
I am going to implement what I’ve learned from this book and I’ll def read it again and again. I highly recommend it to anyone suffering from severe ocd and anxiety and it may even be helpful to those who are trying to understand an inflicted love one. Thank you for this wonderful book and good luck to all my fellow sufferers ♥️
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- HPence
- 08-27-23
Insightful and calming
What a great book. Wish I found it sooner. Short easy listen and very positive.
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- Victoria K.
- 06-22-24
Can’t recommend this to enough people.
Can’t recommend this enough. It’s helped me, friends and family members with OCD. I haven’t had one friend read it that said it wasn’t spectacular. 10/10. I would have sworn the dialogue in the book was pulled straight from my own private thoughts!
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-01-23
Great Listen
This audiobook is well put together and I found it really helpful for dealing with my “sticky mind.” I absolutely recommend for anyone constantly going around in circles with obsession themes but wanting to break free. Contains lots of examples applicable to lots of themes, so you’ll find something to relate to.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Scott J. Moses
- 06-15-23
Just what I needed to hear
A timely book for me, as my mind has become more and more sticky lately. I recommend everything they’ve ever done.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 06-17-21
Very helpful
The first two chapters made me anxious. But there are so many great tips given in this book. I absolutely love it.
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