
The Gaslight Effect
How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life
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Narrated by:
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Nan McNamara
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By:
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Dr. Robin Stern
About this listen
Are You Being Gaslighted?
Check for these telltale signs:
- You constantly second-guess yourself.
- You wonder, "Am I being too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.
- You wonder frequently if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
- You have trouble making simple decisions.
- You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation.
- You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.
- Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.
- You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great.
- You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, "What doesn't kill me will make me stronger."
- You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don't have to tell him things you're afraid might upset him.
- You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.
- You feel as though you can't do anything right.
- You frequently wonder if you're good enough for your lover.
- Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner.
- You feel hopeless and joyless.
Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.
Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff - including yours - he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you'll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.
Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.
If you think things like this can't happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.
How do we know? If you consider answering “yes” to even one of the following questions, you’ve probably been gaslighted:
Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?
When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?
Do you dread having small things go wrong at home — buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?
Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That’s because it plays into one of our worst fears — of being abandoned — and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works and tells you how to turn up your Gaslight Radar, so you know when a relationship is headed for trouble.
Includes a bonus PDF of appendices from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2007 Dr. Robin Stern (P)2018 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story
The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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When Love Is a Lie
- Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda
- By: Zari L Ballard
- Narrated by: Lisa Bunting
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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When our partner is a narcissist, only those who've actually experienced the madness will ever understand what we're going through. When Love Is a Lie is a straight-up, tell-all book about narcissism in relationships that skips the clinical bullshit to focus solely on the personal experience. A narrative that holds nothing back, Zari Ballard's story will educate, enlighten, and empower you to evaluate (and fully understand) the mind-boggling dysfunction in your own relationship.
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Greatfull to have found this!
- By Joy on 03-13-17
By: Zari L Ballard
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Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Manipulation
- The Shadow Side of Influence: A Guide to Dark Psychology and Gaslighting Tactics and How to Recognize and Defend Yourself from Manipulative Behavior
- By: Joshua Roundtree
- Narrated by: Deedee Ash
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of feeling manipulated and controlled by others? Do you want to understand the dark psychological tactics used by manipulators and how to protect yourself from their influence? If so, this audiobook is for you.
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Repetitive and as waste of money.
- By Anonymous User on 04-14-23
By: Joshua Roundtree
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The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Annette Romano
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the best-selling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life. In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships.
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Caution is needed
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-19
By: Patricia Evans
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Character Disturbance
- The Phenomenon of Our Age
- By: George K. Simon Jr. PhD
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern permissiveness and the new culture of entitlement allows disturbed people to reach adulthood without proper socialization. In a book meant both for the general public and for professionals, best-selling author and psychologist George Simon explains in plain English how most disturbed characters think; the habitual behaviors the disturbed use to avoid responsibility and to manipulate, deceive, and exploit others; why victims in relationships with disturbed characters do not get help they need from traditional therapies; and more.
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Plausible theory, potentially harmful
- By Sarah Couture on 01-13-20
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
- Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
- By: Debbie Mirza
- Narrated by: Debbie Mirza
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
- By Mojo on 12-19-18
By: Debbie Mirza
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Coercive Control
- How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life
- By: Evan Stark
- Narrated by: William Sarris
- Length: 21 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Evan Stark, founder of one of America's first battered women's shelters, shows how "domestic violence" is neither primarily domestic nor necessarily violent, but a pattern of controlling behaviors more akin to terrorism and hostage-taking. Drawing on court records, interviews, and FBI statistics, Stark details coercive strategies that men use to deny women their very personhood, from "beeper games" to food logs to micromanaging dress, speech, sexual activity, and work.
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Wow
- By Emily Meyers on 03-22-21
By: Evan Stark
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Who's Pulling Your Strings?
- How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life
- By: Harriet Braiker
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, New York Times best-selling author of The Disease to Please, explains how depression, low self-esteem, chronic anger, and feelings of helplessness are often the result of being caught in relationships with manipulative people - including family members, friends, coworkers, and associates. More importantly, she arms listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to understand and identify manipulative personalities and to free themselves from the bondage of relationships with them.
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Phenomenal eye opener
- By Karthik on 12-17-21
By: Harriet Braiker
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On Gaslighting
- By: Kate Abramson
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Using examples and analysis, Abramson gives an account of gaslighting and its immorality, and argues that such a discussion can help us understand other aspects of social life—from racism and sexism to the structure of interpersonal trust.
By: Kate Abramson
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If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?
- Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse
- By: Avery Neal
- Narrated by: Virginia Wolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, Avery Neal, founder of the Women's Therapy Clinic, helps you recognize the warning signs of subtle abuse. As you are able to identify patterns that have never made sense before, you are better equipped to make changes. An expert in the field, Neal has guided countless individuals to regain their self-esteem, their joy, and their lives. From letting go of fear to setting boundaries, If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? will help you enjoy a happy, healthy, fulfilling life, free of shame or blame.
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Please keep politics out of a Self Help book.
- By Laureen K on 09-18-20
By: Avery Neal
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The Laws of Luck
- The Success System That Never Fails
- By: Brian Tracy
- Narrated by: Michael Tracy
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Some sav success is based on luck. But high achievers don't leave their success to chance. They guarantee their future by applying the proven laws of success. When you apply these laws, you will unlock the most potent forces in the universe. You control your luck. What's the key? If you want to succeed, do what successful people do. It's that simple. In this book, Brian Tracy shows how to put the laws of luck to work for you.
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Classic Brian Tracy
- By Shawn Bethay on 12-30-23
By: Brian Tracy
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Run Like Hell
- A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds
- By: Nadine Macaluso
- Narrated by: Nadine Macaluso
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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At age twenty-two, Nadine married Jordan Belfort, the nefarious stockbroker portrayed in the Hollywood blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street. Their marriage began as a fairy tale, but once they were bonded, Jordan’s “mask” began to slip, and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s nightmare. The horrific relationship gave Nadine the inspiration to become a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and complex PTSD.
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Good for Beginners
- By R A on 03-29-25
By: Nadine Macaluso
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Slay the Bully
- How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win
- By: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Narrated by: Rebecca Zung Esq.
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Slay narcissists—the ultimate bullies—in negotiations by following this simple formula—developed by one of the top 1 percent of attorneys in the nation—a proven method to take you from victim to victory, without backlash!
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Finally. A strategy for WINNING.
- By Anonymous on 12-17-23
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
THE ORIGINAL: STILL A GREAT PLACE TO START
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Life changing
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Gender examples need updating
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Excellent book audio
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Easy to understand. Easy to listen.
Keep your eyes open!
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Amazing!
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Educational
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excellent!
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Thank you Thank you
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Critical information for all
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good read
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