Touched Out
Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent, and Control
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Narrated by:
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Jenna Rose Stein
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By:
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Amanda Montei
About this listen
In this stunning blend of memoir, theory, and cultural criticism, a new mother examines the intersection between misogyny and motherhood, considering how caregivers can take back their bodies and pass on a language of consent to their children
Motherhood and the culture of misogyny in America are not often explored in tandem. The connection is women’s bodies.
When Amanda Montei became a parent, she struggled with the physicality of caring for children, but even more with the growing lack of autonomy she felt in her personal and professional life. The conditions of modern American parenthood—the lack of paid leave and affordable childcare, the isolation and alienation, the distribution of labor in her home, and the implicit demands of marriage—were not what she had expected.
After #MeToo, however, she began to see a connection between how women were feeling in motherhood and the larger culture of assault in which she had grown up. In American society, women are expected to prioritize their children, often by pushing their bodies to the limit and ignoring their own desires and needs. As she struggled to adjust to the new demands on her body, this stirred memories of being used, violated, and seen by men. She had the desperate urge to finally say no, though she didn’t know how, or to whom she might say it.
Written with the intellectual and emotional precision of writers like Roxane Gay and Leslie Jamison, and drawing on classic feminist thinkers such as bell hooks, Silvia Federici, and Adrienne Rich, as well as on popular culture from The Bachelor to Look Who’s Talking, Montei draws connections between caregiving, consent, reproductive control, and the sacrifices women are expected to make throughout their lives. Exploring the stories we tell about psychology, childbirth, sexuality, the family, the overwhelm mothers feel trying to be “good,” and the tender bonds that form between parent and child, Touched Out delivers a powerful critique of American rape culture and its continuation in the institution of motherhood, and considers what it really means to care in America.
©2023 Amanda Montei (P)2023 Beacon PressListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Trenchant and revelatory...The central achievement of Touched Out—the one that makes me want to press this book into the hands of every parent and expectant parent I know—is how artfully Montei connects the dots between her private shame and this collective assault, opening the door for her readers to do the same.”—The Boston Globe
“Montei is leading the charge in a new wave of feminism—a must-read!”—Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play
“A brilliant and timely meditation that is an absolute must-read for any woman who has ever felt her body is not her own anymore—pawed at, pressed into service, treated possessively, or even impregnated against her will. In America today, this may just include all of us.”—Kate Manne, author of Down Girl and Entitled
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The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Nemo71 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
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- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
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By: Mel Robbins
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Self Help
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- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
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Are you ready to unlock the greatest resource of your life? Gabby Bernstein has written the ultimate self-help guide, offering a revolutionary practice to radically shift your core beliefs and connect you to an infallible inner guidance system: the energy of Self within you. In this groundbreaking book, Gabby demystifies the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, taking its life-changing teachings out of the therapist’s office and into your everyday life.
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Self Serving
- By pricefreund on 01-14-25
By: Gabrielle Bernstein, and others
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What listeners say about Touched Out
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- Tawni Peterson
- 09-28-23
Essential Read!
The interweaving of memoir, commentary, and narrative is beautifully done. Grateful for the opportunity to bear witness, I also found myself longing for more exploration of constructive ways to integrate the information going forward.
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- CPStar
- 10-24-23
Just what I I need
With a three and five year old at home, a career I care about, and as a female born in the eighties, this was a game changer. Thank you for helping me to step outside and better understand why it feels like it feels.
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- K1231V
- 10-14-23
Incredible
This is a must listen. I loved hearing the author’s own voice and it made it that much more poignant. I’ve never heard the theories expressed in this book in the general culture. I screamed in agreement so many times.
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