Showing results by author "Jeff Strand" in All Categories

As Rod Sterling famously said, "You unlock this door with the key to your imagination". Sixteen tales of horror and woe are ensconced here.

Charlie Stanlon is a serial killer. A ghastly, vicious sociopath who chains women to a table in his basement and tortures them to death. He has no friends. He has no family. He despises his co-workers. His only pleasure in life is to cause pain and terror...until the day he finds an adorable Boston terrier and takes it home.

Frank knows that he's creepy. There's nothing he can do about it. His creepiness - along with the fact that his father once killed 11 people in an office shooting - has kept him from ever having a girlfriend. When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. But she accepts. These two kindhearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better. But this is not a love story. This is a tale of revenge and madness.

Thirty-five-year-old introvert Todd Bryan hasn't really done much with his life, and he's okay with that. Until, at a painfully bad film festival, he meets Amy Husk. She's attractive. She's funny. She's quirky. And...she has an inoperable brain aneurysm and not much time to live. She may not even make it to the long-awaited final episode of Exit Red, the greatest show ever. She convinces him that they should do something crazy and frivolous.

Fire ants. Even when they're normal sized, they're horrible, wretched insects whose sting causes burning pain. But these ants are far from normal. And the city of Tampa, Florida has become infested with the oversized creatures.

From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.

Nathan Pepper seemed like an ordinary baby -- except for a mouth full of scary sharp teeth. Because his life began with his grandmother strongly recommending that he be destroyed as soon as possible, it's safe to say that Nathan was not destined for a typical existence.

Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?

Cemetery Dance Magazine says that, "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 33 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.

At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.

A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!

A city where people are turning gleefully insane. Inescapable blood-sucking bugs. A serial killer who may have discovered proof of alien life. A kinky proposal to "even out" an instance of infidelity. A man whose fingernails are growing at an out of control rate. These are only a few of the stories in Jeff Strand's deranged new collection, which includes several macabre tales written just for these bloody audiobook.

"You want to pay me to sleep with your wife?" Kirk is extremely surprised by Ralph's proposition. He's even more surprised by the next part: Kirk is supposed to perform badly, to make Ralph look good by comparison. And Julie isn't supposed to know that any of this was planned. It's the kind of offer any smart, sane person would turn down. But this is not a book about smart, sane people. This is "bad decisions spiral out of control" all the way. From the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of Pressure and Dweller comes something lighter, goofier, and way smuttier.

Tune in, turn on, and drop in to the rock 'n' roll rabbit hole! Along Comes Scary is set in an alternate spooky ’60s where vampires play screaming guitars, hell-bound hotrodders start a new trend on AM radio, and there are groupies who will do anything for a piece of their favorite band. Stories include "Papa’s Got a Brand-New Body Bag", "Hell-A Woman", and "She’s Got a Ticket to Die".

Can the friend zone survive the end of the world? Missy and Kevin are friends. Just friends. They’d never actually date each other, because they’ve been friends since childhood, and that would be weird. Now it’s the apocalypse. People are leaking blood from their eyeballs and turning into homicidal oozing mutants. Fortunately, Kevin has access to an underground shelter, and he and Missy make it there in time to avoid a horrible gruesome death. But they’re trapped down there. Things are going to get weird.

Razor-sharp teeth. Vicious claws. The soul-piercing eyes that stare you down right before it pounces. What will you do when it’s you against a purveyor of pure evil? You think it’s just a dream? Think again. These nightmare creatures have transcended the pages of the books they were written into, they’ve ripped their way from the silver screen, and now they are coming for you. There is nowhere to hide - they will find you. But the question remains. Do you have what it takes to conquer the beast or will you let it destroy you?

Rebecca Harpster is frightened of spending the night alone, but she assures her husband Gary that she'll be fine when he goes out camping with his buddies for the weekend. They have a safe little home in the woods of Alaska with an excellent security system. Yeah, she knows she'll spend the entire time jumping at every noise, but she also knows that the danger is all in her head.

For all of human history ghosts were real and they were everywhere. Then, one day, after a horrible cataclysm, they all disappeared. That was the story of THE PERFECTLY FINE HOUSE. But there are more tales to be told from that world.

SPINE-CHILLING GHOST STORIES TO KEEP YOU UP AT NIGHT It’s been said that there are no haunted places, only haunted people. That’s who you’ll find here, the haunted ones. A maintenance technician in remote Alaska, an English thief, a young couple on a road trip across America, an astronaut on a one-way ride to Jupiter, an Irish gravedigger, and dozens more. All victims of an otherworldly infection, all tormented by a plague of shadows. In this anthology, you will find tales of horror and suspense fiction, science fiction, fantasy, and mystery. An eclectic collection of ghost stories ...