
Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success
What to Do and What to Say to Turn "Failures" into Character-Building Moments
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Narrated by:
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Michelle Icard
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By:
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Michelle Icard
About this listen
Turn common adolescent missteps, from relationship blunders to rebellions that backfire, into character-building moments—by the author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen.
“This clear-eyed, practical, fun-to-read guide is an essential read for every parent.”—Lisa Damour, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Every child messes up, sometimes in ways that seem sure to wreck their futures: a bad report card, poor sportsmanship, underaged drinking. These are tough moments for parent and child alike, often complicated by the fear that the misstep is also an indictment of our parenting. But what each of these “fails” has in common for our kids is the precious silver lining of a chance for character building and developing more grit—if we help them process their mistake well.
An invaluable playbook for anxious parents everywhere, Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success offers specific and unexpected advice about what to say, what not to say, and what to do to help children in eight categories of tense situations. Distilled from Michelle Icard’s decades of experience working with tweens, teenagers, and families, it also introduces her signature three-step approach to any kind of failure:
• Contain: Affirm your child, gather the facts, and control the narrative.
• Resolve: Explain what went wrong, define clear consequences, teach them to apologize well, and develop a plan to rebuild trust.
• Evolve: Reaffirm and re-expand their rights, and establish rewards for good behaviors.
With empathy, insight, and optimism, Michelle Icard’s advice ensures that a child’s mistake or rebellion doesn’t become the headline of their childhood, but instead becomes a launch pad to a better future.
©2023 Michelle Icard (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Michelle Icard has written the playbook parents need to turn the inevitable challenges that come with growing up into opportunities for tremendous growth and maturation. This clear-eyed, practical, fun-to-read guide is an essential read for every parent.” (Lisa Damour, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers)
“If you’ve ever worried about your kids' mistakes, drop everything and read Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success. It's a smart, reassuring, and incredibly informative guide that will help parents recognize the value of failure and how to handle it.” (Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes)
“Michelle Icard is the master of walking parents and caregivers through the trials of adolescence through relatable examples, organic, easy-to-follow advice, and a tone and sense of humor that takes the alarm out of these moments, and replaces it with empowerment, connection and joy.” (Dr. John Duffy, author of Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety)
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Story
Once upon a time, mean girls primarily existed in high school, while elementary school-aged girls spent hours at play and enjoyed friendships without much drama. But in this fast-paced world in which young girls are exposed to negative behaviors on TV and social media from the moment they enter school, they are also becoming caught up in social hierarchies much earlier. No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, and much more.
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A wonderful tool for any mother of a girl!
- By Krystal Magwire on 06-12-18
By: Katie Hurley
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Sugarproof
- The Hidden Dangers of Sugar That Are Putting Your Child's Health at Risk and What You Can Do
- By: Michael Goran, Emily Ventura
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us know that sugar can wreak havoc on adult bodies, but few realize how uniquely harmful it is to the growing livers, hearts, and brains of children. And the damage can begin early in life. In his research on the effects of sugar on kids' present and future health, USC Professor of Pediatrics and Program Director for Diabetes and Obesity at Children's Hospital Los Angeles Michael Goran has found that too much sugar doesn't just cause childhood obesity, it can cause health issues in kids who are not overweight, too.
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So informative!
- By Brian on 10-02-20
By: Michael Goran, and others
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Friend-ish
- Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion
- By: Kelly Needham
- Narrated by: Kelly Needham
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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For many, friends now play the role of family, but often our friendships don't turn out quite as we envisioned or hoped. Bible teacher Kelly Needham debunks our world's constricted, small view of friendship and casts a richer, more life-giving, biblical vision for friendship. In Friend-ish, Kelly Needham takes a close look at what scripture says about friendship. She reveals the distorted view most of us have of it and recasts a glorious vision for a Christian understanding.
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Christian drivel
- By Alison on 10-27-20
By: Kelly Needham
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Your Hidden Superpower
- The Kindness That Makes You Unbeatable at Work and Connects You with Anyone
- By: Adrienne Bankert
- Narrated by: Adrienne Bankert, Bill Krause
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Kindness isn’t merely about getting along with people and being nice. It’s a game changer in business, the door opener to opportunity, and the key to authenticity and confidence. It’s a superpower that can be honed through an intentional lifestyle of kindness and is especially important in these divisive times.
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Great content . Thought provoking. A MUST READ !!!
- By David W. Johnson on 12-13-20
By: Adrienne Bankert
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Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Revised 3rd Edition
- Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting
- By: Jane Nelsen Ed.D., Lynn Lott
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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This edition of Positive Discipline for Teenagers shows parents how to build stronger bridges of communication with their children, break the destructive cycles of guilt and blame that occur in parent-teen power struggles, and work toward greater mutual respect with their adolescents. At the core of the Positive Discipline approach is understanding that teens still need their parents, just in different ways—and by better understanding who their teens really are, parents can learn to encourage both their teens and themselves, and instill good judgment without being judgmental.
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so helpful!
- By Nicolette Buyea on 07-25-22
By: Jane Nelsen Ed.D., and others
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1,000+ Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships
- By: Marc Chernoff, Angel Chernoff
- Narrated by: Marc Chernoff, Angel Chernoff
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of people turn to Marc and Angel Chernoff for fresh and relevant insights for living their best lives. In their newest guide, they share hard-won secrets for strengthening our connection to the loved ones who matter most. With their signature combination of common sense and uncommon wisdom, they bring together ideas for fostering intimacy and trust, expressing our needs, showing gratitude, and more.
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Great Read
- By Dr. Beaty Bello on 10-13-21
By: Marc Chernoff, and others
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I Didn't Do the Thing Today
- Letting Go of Productivity Guilt
- By: Madeleine Dore
- Narrated by: Madeleine Dore
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Any given day brings a never-ending list of things to do. There’s the work thing, the catch-up thing, the laundry thing, the creative thing, the exercise thing, the family thing, the thing we don’t want to do, and the thing we’ve been putting off, despite it being the most important thing. Even on days when we get a lot done, the thing left undone can leave us feeling guilty, anxious, or disappointed.
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Exactly what I needed to hear
- By Anonymous User on 08-30-22
By: Madeleine Dore
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The Career Manifesto
- Discover Your Calling and Create an Extraordinary Life
- By: Mike Steib
- Narrated by: Mike Steib
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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The Career Manifesto presents an inspiring and refreshingly simple approach to finding your passion and purpose and then jump-starting a dream career to achieve those, by asking three essential questions: What do you want your impact to be? What are the potential pathways that move you toward your purpose? How can you hold yourself accountable for your goals?
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Great review for people with options
- By C&C on 09-20-20
By: Mike Steib
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Childfree by Choice
- The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence
- By: Dr. Amy Blackstone
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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As a childfree woman, Dr. Amy Blackstone is no stranger to a wide range of negative responses when she informs people she doesn't have - nor does she want - kids: confused looks, patronizing quips, thinly veiled pity, even outright scorn and condemnation. But she is not alone in opting out when it comes to children. More people than ever are choosing to forgo parenthood, and openly discussing a choice that's still often perceived as taboo. Yet this choice, and its effects personally and culturally, are still often misunderstood.
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Repetitive and not for the childfree
- By Anonymous User on 01-20-25
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Let's Talk
- Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower
- By: Therese Huston
- Narrated by: Therese Huston
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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How are you supposed to tell someone that they're not meeting expectations without crushing their spirit? Regular feedback, when delivered skillfully, can turn average performers into the hardest workers and stars into superstars. Yet many see it as an awkward chore: Recent studies have revealed 37 percent of managers dread giving feedback, and 65 percent of employees wish their managers gave more feedback. This trail-blazing new model eliminates the guesswork.
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Crucial Read
- By Danielle Bailey on 07-06-25
By: Therese Huston
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The Mindful Marriage
- Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself
- By: Ron L. Deal MMFT, Nan Deal BSE, Terry Hargrave PhD - foreword, and others
- Narrated by: Pete Straub
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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When Ron and Nan Deal suffered the devastating loss of their child, their marriage was nearly shattered by their destructive cycles. At wits' end, they sought the help of pioneering therapists Dr. Terry Hargrave and Sharon Hargrave, LMFT, whose transformational Restoration Therapy has helped millions through the practice of emotional mindfulness. Now, the Deals and Hargraves introduce listeners to this proven method that challenges popular beliefs about how relationships work.
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Must read
- By scarlott42 on 06-03-25
By: Ron L. Deal MMFT, and others
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You Can't Go Wrong Doing Right
- How a Child of Poverty Rose to the White House and Helped Change the World
- By: Robert J. Brown
- Narrated by: Dominic Hoffman, Robert J. Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Called "a world-class power broker" by the Washington Post, Robert Brown has been a sought-after counselor for an impressive array of the famous and powerful, including every American president since John F. Kennedy. But as a child born into poverty in the 1930s, Robert was raised by his grandmother to think differently about success. For example, "The best way to influence others is to be helpful", she told him. And, "You can’t go wrong by doing right." Fueled by these lessons, Brown went on to play a pivotal, mostly unseen role alongside the powerful of our time.
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you never know how God's coming at you
- By Kynan on 06-13-25
By: Robert J. Brown
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Aristotle's Way
- How Ancient Wisdom Can Change Your Life
- By: Edith Hall
- Narrated by: Sian Thomas
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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From renowned classicist Edith Hall, Aristotle's Way is an examination of one of history's greatest philosophers, showing us how to lead happy, fulfilled, and meaningful lives.
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Full of Political Opinion
- By Jared Payne on 10-15-19
By: Edith Hall
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The Bottom Line for Baby
- From Sleep Training to Screens, Thumb Sucking to Tummy Time - What the Science Says
- By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD
- Narrated by: Tina Payne Bryson PhD
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Bryson boils things down with authority, demystifying the issues in three distinct sections: an objective summary of the schools of thought on the topic, including commonly held pros and cons; a clear and concise primer on "What the Science Says"; and a bottom-line conclusion. When the science doesn't point clearly in one direction, she guides you to assess and apply the information in a way that's consistent with your family's principles and meets your child's unique needs.
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Informative and easy to digest
- By Paperhorn Artist on 12-03-23
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Too Tired to Fight
- 13 Essential Conflicts Parents Must Have to Keep Their Relationship Strong
- By: Erin Mitchell MACP, Stephen Mitchell PhD
- Narrated by: Erin Mitchell MACP, Stephen Mitchell PhD, Henriette Zoutomou, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Parenting changes a couple’s relationship in fundamental ways, but most parents are too exhausted from the demands of life, work, and engaging their kids to prioritize their relationship. This can lead to repeated conflict and an overwhelming sense of anxiety, anger, hurt, and loneliness…just when you need your partner’s support the most. The good news: conflict is actually a sign that you are trying to connect with your partner—you’re just stuck in an old pattern of communication.
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Life changing!
- By Miss Sarah on 10-14-24
By: Erin Mitchell MACP, and others
Excellent book on dealing with common problems for middle school teenagers
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A must-listen for parents of tweens and teens!
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