Under Pressure
Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls
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Narrated by:
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Lisa Damour Ph.D.
About this listen
New York Times best seller
An urgently needed guide to the alarming increase in anxiety and stress experienced by girls from elementary school through college, from the author of Untangled
“An invaluable read for anyone who has girls, works with girls, or cares about girls - for everyone!” (Claire Shipman, author of The Confidence Code and The Confidence Code for Girls)
Though anxiety has risen among young people overall, studies confirm that it has skyrocketed in girls. Research finds that the number of girls who said that they often felt nervous, worried, or fearful jumped 55 percent from 2009 to 2014, while the comparable number for adolescent boys has remained unchanged. As a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with girls, Lisa Damour, PhD, has witnessed this rising tide of stress and anxiety in her own research, in private practice, and in the all-girls’ school where she consults. She knew this had to be the topic of her new book.
In the engaging, anecdotal style and reassuring tone that won over thousands of fans of her first book, Untangled, Damour starts by addressing the facts about psychological pressure. She explains the surprising and underappreciated value of stress and anxiety: that stress can helpfully stretch us beyond our comfort zones, and anxiety can play a key role in keeping girls safe. When we emphasize the benefits of stress and anxiety, we can help our daughters take them in stride.
But no parents want their daughter to suffer from emotional overload, so Damour then turns to the many facets of girls’ lives where tension takes hold: their interactions at home, pressures at school, social anxiety among other girls and among boys, and their lives online. As listeners move through the layers of girls’ lives, they’ll learn about the critical steps that adults can take to shield their daughters from the toxic pressures to which our culture - including we, as parents - subjects girls.
Listeners who know Damour from Untangled or the New York Times, or from her regular appearances on CBS News, will be drawn to this important new contribution to understanding and supporting today’s girls.
Praise for Under Pressure
“Truly a must-read for parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors wanting to help girls along the path to adulthood.” (Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult)
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Critic reviews
“Lisa Damour offers a fresh, riveting take on the unsustainable stress girls face today, which is often fueled unintentionally by the most well-meaning parents and teachers. Damour also offers refreshing and research-based practical fixes; it’s possible to normalize pressure, in many cases, and use it in fortifying ways to build strength and confidence. Under Pressure is an invaluable read for anyone who has girls, works with girls, or cares about girls - for everyone!” (Claire Shipman, New York Times best-selling author of The Confidence Code and The Confidence Code for Girls)
“Anyone who has read the beloved Untangled knows that Lisa Damour gets girls. This timely sequel brings stunning clarity to the complicated set of stressors that girls experience - in the classroom, online, with peers, and at home - and models how to show up as an ally instead of an adversary. Truly a must-read for parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors wanting to help girls along the path to adulthood.” (Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult)
“Under Pressure is exactly what parents need and, as a mother, it helped me to relax! Damour explains the difference between healthy and unhealthy stress and anxiety. She offers a detailed, comprehensive look at how to help our daughters manage naturally occurring tension, toxic stress, and anxiety. This brilliant book is a must-read.” (Norah O’Donnell, host, CBS This Morning)
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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Odd Girl Out
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Ruth Ann Phimister
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When boys act out, get into fights, or become physically aggressive, we can't avoid noticing their bad behavior. But it is easy to miss the subtle signs of aggression in girls: the dirty looks, the taunting notes, or the exclusion from the group, that send girls home crying.
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Compelling and informative
- By Cynthia on 10-17-04
By: Rachel Simmons
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Autism in Heels
- The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
- By: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Toole
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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The Curse of the Good Girl
- Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel Simmons is a New York Times best-selling author and the founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. The Curse of the Good Girl looks into the phenomenon of the glass ceiling placed on girls who attempt to live up to the standard of being "good". Simmons then shows how parents can help build girls' self-esteem and give them the strength to pursue their goals.
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Best book for mom's of daughters that I have read
- By Wendy on 05-20-10
By: Rachel Simmons
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety
- Raising Happy, Healthy Humans Ages 8 to 24
- By: Dr. John Duffy
- Narrated by: Anne Cross
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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No parent experienced their teen years the way that children do today. This guide provides strategies and tips for actively learning the world of our children.
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Every parent should read this!!
- By Kitty Kitty on 10-20-19
By: Dr. John Duffy
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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Oddly Normal
- One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality
- By: John Schwartz
- Narrated by: John Schwartz, Joseph Schwartz
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, John Schwartz, a national correspondent for the New York Times, got the call that every parent hopes never to receive: His 13-year-old son, Joe, was in the hospital following a suicide attempt. Mustering the courage to come out to his classmates, Joe had delivered a tirade about homophobic and sexist attitudes that was greeted with unease and confusion by his fellow students. Hours later, he took an overdose of pills.
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The Effect of Parental Caring
- By Wiliam on 01-16-13
By: John Schwartz
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For Parents Only
- Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Lisa Author Rice
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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What parent hasn't occasionally looked at their beloved but bewildering offspring and wondered, what in the world is he thinking, or why is my sweet little girl acting like that? In this remarkable audiobook, Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice take you inside the mind of teens and preteens through the same innovative approach that seized national attention in the best-selling book For Women Only, For Men Only, and For Young Women Only.
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great points, extremely Christian
- By Kimiko Carpenter on 05-25-22
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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I was “forced” to read this book!
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Preachy and Uninformative
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Every parent should read this!!
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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
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Internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have helped millions of families with their breakthrough, best-selling books. Now, they return with a lively, down-to-earth guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today. After years of research, lecturing, and feedback, Faber and Mazlish have developed an innovative approach to maintaining a candid, open, mutually respectful dialogue between parents and teens.
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Might be OK with different narrators
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I was “forced” to read this book!
- By Jenna U. on 07-15-19
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Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen
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Every parent should read this!!
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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
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Might be OK with different narrators
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Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture
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Learn about the essential, complementary roles that mothers and fathers play; the dangers of social media - and how to help your daughter navigate them; what every daughter needs to know about God; how to launch your daughter into successful womanhood; and more.
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Should had read the details instead of the title.
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As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril.
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wanted to give 5 but last chapter is so biased
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Queen Bees and Wannabes
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It’s not just about helping your daughter make it alive out of junior high. This book will help you understand how your daughter’s relationships with friends and cliques sets the stage for other intimate relationships as she grows and guides her when she has tougher choices to make about intimacy, drinking and drugs, and other hazards. Queen Bees and Wannabes will equip you with all the tools you need to build the right foundation to help your daughter make smarter choices and empower her during this baffling, tumultuous time of life.
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Audio Book is 2002 edition
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Raising Girls Who Like Themselves
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Raising Girls Who Like Themselves details the seven qualities that enable girls to thrive and arm themselves against a world that tells them they are flawed. Packed with practical, evidence-based advice, it is the indispensable guide to raising a girl who is happy and confident in herself. Free of parental guilt and grounded in research, Raising Girls Who Like Themselves is imbued with the warmth and wit of a mum and dad who are in the same parenting trenches as you, fighting for their daughters' futures.
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Do you teach your girls they can’t do what boys can?
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The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers
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Never before has raising teens been so perplexing. If you are wondering what on earth you're doing wrong, you're not alone. But there is hope. By learning to meaningfully express love amid your teens' many changes, you can stay connected, maintain influence, and help them grow into healthy adults.
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If implemented? Magnificent!
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This Is So Awkward
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Text book reading for understanding your kids
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Never Enough
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In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools.
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If you live or work in one of these communities, you will see yourself
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Ready or Not
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
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How to Raise an Adult
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In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
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When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder
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- By: Lauren Muhlheim PsyD, Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh - foreword
- Narrated by: Emily Ellet
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When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder will empower you to help your teen using a unique, family-based treatment (FBT) approach. With this guide, you'll learn to respectfully and lovingly oversee your teen's nutritional rehabilitation, which includes helping to normalize eating behaviors, managing meals, expanding food flexibility, teaching independent and intuitive eating habits, and using coping strategies and recovery skills to prevent relapse.
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Life giving answers to a complex disorder.
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By: Lauren Muhlheim PsyD, and others
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Love Her Well
- 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter
- By: Kari Kampakis
- Narrated by: Kari Kampakis
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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For many women, having a baby girl is a dream come true. But as girls grow up, the narrative of innocence and joy changes to one of dread as moms are told, "Just wait until she's a teenager!" Author, blogger, and mom to four daughters Kari Kampakis thinks it's time to change the narrative that leads moms to parent teen girls with a spirit of defeat instead of strength. Love Her Well isn't a guide to help mothers "fix" their daughters or make them behave. It's about a mom's journey, doing the heart-work necessary to love a teenager while still being a steady, supportive parent.
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Must read for all moms!
- By Kindle Customer on 12-01-20
By: Kari Kampakis
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Parenting a Teen Girl
- A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication & Connection with Your Teenage Daughter
- By: Lucie Hemmen PhD
- Narrated by: Amy Tallmadge
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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It's not easy to be a teen girl, and it's definitely not easy parenting one. Parenting a Teen Girl is a guide for busy parents who want bottom-line information and tips that make sense - and work. It also offers scripts to improve communication, and exercises to navigate stressful interactions with skill and compassion. Whether your teen girl is struggling with academic pressure, social difficulties, physical self-care, or technology overload, this book offers practical advice to help you connect with your teen girl.
By: Lucie Hemmen PhD
What listeners say about Under Pressure
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amy
- 09-14-22
Just what I needed!
As the mother of four girl, I’m only sorry I did t gave this book sooner! I loved every word! I’m really hoping there will be another book as a follow up that speaks to life for girls after Covid and how we can cope and help our girls cope with increasing anxiety as world conditions continue to worsen!
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- jeromy
- 01-22-20
Incredibly Insightful
I will be referring to this book for advice for years to come. Full of grounding and eye opening insight this book is full of wonderful advice to help girls navigate their way through school, social lives and family.
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- Albina Taggart
- 07-10-21
Amazing must listen/read
Helpful insights to any parents blind spots!
She uses easy to understand language for the listener. The listener can choose to use these easy mottos and methods to convey healthy conversations in life and at home
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- Darren
- 07-02-19
Have to read book for those working with girls
I loved this book. There were so many wonderful examples and ideas to use with the girls I love and the girls I work with. I would definitely recommend this book to both parents and clinicians.
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- Kim
- 09-24-19
A Must Read!
Lisa,
Thank you for the evidence-based, real world techniques to help us teach our girls how to listen, use and tame their everyday anxieties! Brilliant!
Kim Fuller Jacoby
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1 person found this helpful
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- Laura Bonnett
- 08-06-21
As pertinent during COVID as ever!
Lisa Damour has such a great way of making complex topics manageable. I loved listening to this and hearing her calming voice made it so enjoyable! A must-read for parents of girls and boys, before the teen years!
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- RJensen
- 06-19-19
Excellent advice for Mother’s if daughters
I loved this book so much!!!
It helped me understand my daughter and how to communicate with her better!
The author is amazing and she narrates the book perfectly!
Highly recommend!
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- Amanda M.
- 06-21-23
Understanding teen melt-downs
Identifying the stressors and how to communicate and teach life lessons in the midst of teen storms- a must read/listen to book, full of expert advice. Highly recommend.
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- Amazon User
- 10-13-24
Very helpful
Great advice and practical applications for a parent with a pre-teen or teen daughter.
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- dilandlil
- 03-27-19
wonderful for mother of tween and teen girl
So many good insights into what our daughters are thinking and feeling. Tips to help us as parents navigate those treacherous waters and come out alive! I will be listening again to solidify things I can do to help my daughters.
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3 people found this helpful