
Fault Lines
Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
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Narrated by:
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Sean Pratt
About this listen
Real solutions to a hidden epidemic: family estrangement.
Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's 10-year groundbreaking Cornell Reconciliation Project, based on the first national survey on estrangement; rich, in-depth interviews with hundreds of people who have experienced it; and insights from leading family researchers and therapists. He assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that fissures can be bridged.
Through the wisdom of people who have "been there", Fault Lines shows how healing is possible through clear steps that people can use right away in their own families. It addresses such questions as: How do rifts begin? What makes estrangement so painful? Why is it so often triggered by a single event? Are you ready to reconcile? How can you overcome past hurts to build a new future with a relative?
Tackling a subject that is achingly familiar to almost everyone, especially in an era when powerful outside forces such as technology and mobility are lessening family cohesion, Dr. Pillemer combines dramatic stories, science-based guidance, and practical repair tools to help people find the path to reconciliation.
This program includes a downloadable PDF that contains the Appendix from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Karl Pillemer (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rifts and ruptures upend tens of millions of families, leaving a trail of sorrow and despair. But in this wise and moving book, Karl Pillemer combines academic rigor and practical advice to show us how to move toward reconciliation. Fault Lines is a book that will change lives." (Daniel H. Pink, New York Times best-selling author of When, Drive, and A Whole New Mind)
"Chronic, seemingly intractable estrangement blights many families in our stressed and fragmented culture. In this thoughtful, compassionate book Karl Pillemer shows that it need not be permanent and his perceptive, gentle guidance lights the way to reconciliation." (Gabor Maté, MD, author, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction)
"Fault Lines is a masterful study of the causes family estrangements, the reasons to heal, and the ways to make it happen. Don't waste a minute. Read this book and get back together." (Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells)
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
- By Britt on 10-13-22
By: Nancy Lee Klune
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Dope Therapy
- A Radical Guide to Owning Your Therapy Journey
- By: Shani Tran
- Narrated by: Shani Tran
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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For many people, there is fear and stigma associated with entering the therapy room. Maybe you've been told that going to therapy means something is wrong with you. Maybe you don't know what to expect. Even if you recognize the benefits of seeking help, it can feel scary and unknown to take that first step. If you've thought about therapy but don't know where to start, or if you've tried therapy in the past but it hasn't helped, Authentic Therapy is for you.
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Best intro & explainer therapy book I've ever read
- By Reggie on 01-19-23
By: Shani Tran
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Widen the Window
- Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma
- By: Elizabeth A. Stanley PhD, Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - foreword
- Narrated by: Elizabeth A. Stanley PhD, Fred Sanders
- Length: 19 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Stress is our internal response to an experience that our brain perceives as threatening or challenging. Trauma is our response to an experience in which we feel powerless or lacking agency. Until now, researchers have treated these conditions as different, but they actually lie along a continuum. Dr. Elizabeth Stanley explains the significance of this continuum, how it affects our resilience in the face of challenge, and why an event that's stressful for one person can be traumatizing for another.
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Not enough exercises
- By jason ramsey on 06-11-20
By: Elizabeth A. Stanley PhD, and others
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A Pity Party Is Still a Party
- A Feel-Good Guide to Feeling Bad
- By: Chelsea Harvey Garner
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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What if all the advice we’ve received about “looking on the bright side” is wrong? What if sadness is actually the key to happiness, and can even be . . . fun? Garner is here to make that case. In this feel-good guide to feeling bad, she claims it’s not enough for us to tolerate hard feelings. We need to embrace them. We need to let them show by crying with others. Often. In public. Playful, at times irreverent, but always sincere, Garner is the grown-up Miss Frizzle for the therapy generation.
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permission to be exactly as you are
- By Chelsea on 07-11-23
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When Parents Hurt
- Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
- By: Joshua Coleman PhD
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
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Not worth tour time...
- By TMT on 12-12-16
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Hear Yourself
- How to Find Peace in a Noisy World
- By: Prem Rawat
- Narrated by: Prem Rawat
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The cacophony of modern life can be deafening, leaving us feeling frazzled and uneasy. In this warm, wise book, Prem Rawat teaches us how to turn down the noise to “hear ourselves” - to listen to the subtle song of peace that sings inside each of us. Once we learn to truly “hear ourselves” and the voice of peace within, then we can hold on to that as we face all the noise of the world. The culmination of a lifetime of study, Hear Yourself lays out the crucial steps we can use to focus on the voice within.
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This is a book about you.
- By Anonymous User on 10-02-22
By: Prem Rawat
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The Resilient Life
- Manage Stress, Prevent Burnout & Strengthen Your Mental and Physical Health
- By: Dr. Susan Biali Haas M.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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This deeply inspiring book by Dr. Susan Biali Haas, M.D.—a physician, executive coach, and leader in conversations on burnout and mental health—can help you break the cycle of overwhelm and exhaustion by using simple, science-based shifts that restore joy, health, and meaning to your work and life.
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A great uplifting book
- By Ms Cheryl E Arcidiacono on 06-13-24
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Live Your Life
- My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero
- By: Amanda Kloots, Anna Kloots
- Narrated by: Amanda Kloots
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Amanda Kloots bravely reflects on love, loss, and life with her husband, Broadway star, and Tony Award nominee Nick Cordero, whose public battle with COVID-19 and tragic death made headlines around the world.
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Beautiful, sweet, heartbreaking
- By brisbh on 06-19-21
By: Amanda Kloots, and others
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The Attributes
- 25 Hidden Drivers of Optimal Performance
- By: Rich Diviney
- Narrated by: Rich Diviney
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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During his 20 years as a Navy officer and SEAL, Rich Diviney was intimately involved in a specialized SEAL selection process, which whittled a group of hundreds of extraordinary candidates down to a handful of the most elite performers. Diviney was often surprised by which candidates washed out and which succeeded. Some could have all the right skills and still fail, while others he might have initially dismissed would prove to be top performers.
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Grit meets Science
- By Iris Rainbird on 01-28-21
By: Rich Diviney
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Burn
- New Research Blows the Lid Off How We Really Burn Calories, Lose Weight, and Stay Healthy
- By: Herman Pontzer PhD
- Narrated by: P.J. Ochlan
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Pontzer's groundbreaking studies with hunter-gatherer tribes show how exercise doesn't increase our metabolism. Instead, we burn calories within a very narrow range: nearly 3,000 calories per day, no matter our activity level. This was a brilliant evolutionary strategy to survive in times of famine. Now it seems to doom us to obesity. The good news is we can lose weight, but we need to cut calories. Refuting such weight-loss hype as paleo, keto, anti-gluten, anti-grain, and even vegan, Pontzer discusses how all diets succeed or fail: For shedding pounds, a calorie is a calorie.
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Went from Science to Psuedo Science
- By Brad on 03-10-21
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Things That Matter
- Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life
- By: Joshua Becker
- Narrated by: Joshua Becker
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Everywhere around you are distractions: That text you respond to quickly, just to get it out of the way. The newest money-making side hustle to cross your mind. The evening spent organizing your overflowing kitchen cupboards. Disruptions are the enemies of a life well lived—both the new distractions of our generation and timeless ones that have existed for centuries. They all add up to make you feel restless, tired, and unfulfilled. They’re keeping you from living with joy, from accomplishing the good that only you can do.
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A ton of preaching about being “selfless”
- By Amazo rrrrrrrrrrr on 08-25-22
By: Joshua Becker
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The Gift of Influence
- Creating Life-Changing and Lasting Impact in Your Everyday Interactions
- By: Tommy Spaulding
- Narrated by: Robert Creighton, Tommy Spaulding
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Researchers estimate that the average person will influence up to eighty thousand people over the course of their lifetime—or 2.8 people daily. That’s a stadium full of people whom each of us affects in ways positive or negative, sometimes without us realizing. What if we paid attention to this fact? Would we live differently? Would we lead differently? Would we put down our phones and be more present with the people in front of us?
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Truly Enriching, Inspirational & Enjoyable
- By Keith Klein on 02-17-25
By: Tommy Spaulding
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A Liberated Mind
- How to Pivot Toward What Matters
- By: Steven C. Hayes PhD
- Narrated by: Mark Deakins, Steven C. Hayes PhD
- Length: 14 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In this landmark audiobook, the originator and pioneering researcher into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lays out the psychological flexibility skills that make it one of the most powerful approaches research has yet to offer. These skills have been shown to help even where other approaches have failed. Science shows that they are useful in virtually every area - mental health, physical health, social processes, and performance.
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Disappointing. A 14 hour long defense of ACT.
- By Mats M on 02-06-20
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The Great Work of Your Life
- A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling
- By: Stephen Cope
- Narrated by: Kevin M. Connolly
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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To know your true calling - your dharma, as the yogis say - is perhaps the greatest desire within each of us. And yet, few can say we know our purpose with absolute certainty. Fortunately, there is a time-tested guide - an ancient map - for discovering and fulfilling your unique calling. In The Great Work of Your Life, Stephen Cope walks you through each step of the journey.
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Jungian Zen Psychoanalytical Retired Meditation Teacher
- By Glenn Guillory, SFO on 06-13-20
By: Stephen Cope
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Mastering the Process
- From Idea to Novel
- By: Elizabeth George
- Narrated by: Maggi-Meg Reed, Elizabeth George
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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As the author of 24 novels, Elizabeth George is one of the most successful - and prolific - novelists today. In Mastering the Process, George offers listeners a master class in the art and science of crafting a novel. This is a subject she knows well, having taught creative writing both nationally and internationally for over 30 years. Drawing from her personal photos, early notes, character analyses, and rough drafts, George shows us every stage of how she wrote her novel Careless in Red.
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Loved it so much ordered the hardback
- By Tauny on 11-10-20
By: Elizabeth George
What listeners say about Fault Lines
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- A. A. Shaikh
- 09-11-21
Well worth it
What a wonderful book!
I read this as an estate planning attorney interested in the subject because I see it so much. It really all starts with family. This gives many tools to reconcile and ample reasons why you should, even (especially) in situations that were traumatizing and awful.
If you are thinking about this book, get it.
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- Kika
- 03-08-21
Solid content
The author is clearly interested in helping people resolve family estrangement issues. With a deep body of research on his side, he opens a window into the complicated world of family ties. Note he supports a wide concept of family ties, which include close friends. This book goes along with other ones on negotiation and dealing with difficult situations.
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- Suzanna Baker
- 02-03-23
A wealth of knowledge from first hand experiences
I started this book when my family experienced a rift ending in estrangement of many of its members after both of my formerly healthy parents becoming deathly ill in a matter of weeks of of each other. I turned to this book simply because I didn’t have any answers. Relationships I thought were lifelong suddenly became severed. I felt helpless and isolated. Angry and broken hearted. Hated and unheard. This book helped me understand rifts and the feeling of powerlessness that comes with closing doors and being shut out of the lives of family members. This book helped me understand that there are always two sides to every story but those sides, over time, don’t matter as much as the relationships. I felt less alone reading about others who had gone through almost identical situations if not worse. I think this book gives hope to those experiencing estrangement. If ever my family wants to mend bridges I feel like I’ll be ready on some level. Until then I found a great deal of comfort in these pages. Audible has a really great audio version.
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- Kathryn from MN
- 09-01-24
Solid advice and hope for both sides.
I am writing a book for parents who long for restoration with their estranged adult child and have read/listened to quite a few books on the topic as part of my research. This, by far, has been my favorite. It's written from the viewpoint of a sociologist who conducted in-depth interviews with all kinds of people, including those who chose the estrangement and those who long for reconciliation, those who "have no idea what they did that was so wrong" and those who took the estrangement as an opportunity for personal reflection and growth, and those that the author refers to as "the reconcilers." These are the people who decide to try again, often by processing past hurts, realizing they can live without the person in their life, learning how to set healthy boundaries, and, sometimes, by giving "one last chance." If you are estranged from a relative, I hope you'll give Fault Lines a chance, and maybe, just maybe, your relationship will be restored to something better than it ever was.
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- Tama Jones
- 01-01-21
Read worthy
Very interesting topic and definitely well structured. I found it informative and I would recommend it.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-02-21
very helpful!
loved it, good narrator,good research on this subject. i recommended it to many people i know.
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- Tamara L Horton
- 07-06-22
Relatable & Hopefilled
any estranged parent can find true comfort, honest feedback, and a level of relativity unmatched by other sources
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- Augusta Olaore
- 01-11-24
Estrangement can be avoided and healed. There’s hope.
I have a strained relationship with my brother. I am working to avoid an estrangement by all means. I found Fault lines to be a practical handbook to navigate the delicate terrain of family relationships that become toxic. Setting boundaries and sticking to them stood out for me as well as seeing things from the other person’s perspective. Highly recommended.
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- victor f montoya
- 09-23-24
Everyone should listen to this, whether you are currently in an estrangement or not.
This has given me the most hope of reconciliation with my estranded son and his family.
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- Gigi
- 03-12-25
This is the best estrangement book I have read!
Finally! A book that examines that this phenomenon of cutting family members off is not something new—not specific to the cancel culture. And finally! A book that gives hope with clarity for steps to be taken on both sides of the estranged relationship. Highly recommended!
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