
Fault Lines
Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
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Narrated by:
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Sean Pratt
About this listen
Real solutions to a hidden epidemic: family estrangement.
Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's 10-year groundbreaking Cornell Reconciliation Project, based on the first national survey on estrangement; rich, in-depth interviews with hundreds of people who have experienced it; and insights from leading family researchers and therapists. He assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that fissures can be bridged.
Through the wisdom of people who have "been there", Fault Lines shows how healing is possible through clear steps that people can use right away in their own families. It addresses such questions as: How do rifts begin? What makes estrangement so painful? Why is it so often triggered by a single event? Are you ready to reconcile? How can you overcome past hurts to build a new future with a relative?
Tackling a subject that is achingly familiar to almost everyone, especially in an era when powerful outside forces such as technology and mobility are lessening family cohesion, Dr. Pillemer combines dramatic stories, science-based guidance, and practical repair tools to help people find the path to reconciliation.
This program includes a downloadable PDF that contains the Appendix from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Karl Pillemer (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rifts and ruptures upend tens of millions of families, leaving a trail of sorrow and despair. But in this wise and moving book, Karl Pillemer combines academic rigor and practical advice to show us how to move toward reconciliation. Fault Lines is a book that will change lives." (Daniel H. Pink, New York Times best-selling author of When, Drive, and A Whole New Mind)
"Chronic, seemingly intractable estrangement blights many families in our stressed and fragmented culture. In this thoughtful, compassionate book Karl Pillemer shows that it need not be permanent and his perceptive, gentle guidance lights the way to reconciliation." (Gabor Maté, MD, author, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction)
"Fault Lines is a masterful study of the causes family estrangements, the reasons to heal, and the ways to make it happen. Don't waste a minute. Read this book and get back together." (Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells)
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Story
We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
- Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship
- By: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
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Will save you from major mistakes
- By Bohdan Hodiak on 09-23-20
By: Tina Gilbertson
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Banished
- A Grandmother Alone: Surviving Alienation and Estrangement
- By: Nancy Lee Klune
- Narrated by: Nancy Lee Klune
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
- By Britt on 10-13-22
By: Nancy Lee Klune
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Shadow Daughter
- A Memoir of Estrangement
- By: Harriet Brown
- Narrated by: Harriet Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Shadow Daughter tackles a subject we rarely discuss as a culture: Family estrangements, especially those between parents and adult children. Estrangements - between parents and children, siblings, multiple generations - are surprisingly common, and even families that aren't officially estranged often have some experience of deep conflicts. Estrangement is an issue that touches most people, one way or another, one that's still shrouded in secrecy, stigma, and shame.
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Very dangerous & harmful for society as a whole
- By Suz C. on 01-04-22
By: Harriet Brown
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Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- By Anonymous User on 01-16-25
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Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
- Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation
- By: Fern Schumer Chapman
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Fred Sanders
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of 40 years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research....
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A helpful guide to understand unhealthy family dynamics
- By AGM Design on 11-29-22
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Ambiguous Loss
- Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
- By: Pauline Boss PhD
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief.
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Excellent narrator!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-30-25
By: Pauline Boss PhD
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Estranged
- Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart
- By: Julie Plagens
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 2 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known restauranteur parents who also owned the first nightclub in Texas. After ten years in the entertainment business, her parents made a public conversion to Christianity and went into full-time ministry. Unfortunately, the hardships of maintaining a perfect image as a Christian family became too heavy of a burden due to anger and unforgiveness. After a life-altering health diagnosis (Crohn's disease), Julie, her husband, and their two children walked away from the family to ...
By: Julie Plagens
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But It’s Your Family...
- Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath
- By: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Narrated by: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath. Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Reconciling, in many cases, only sets people up for more abuse. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that this is a part of life; there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best.
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My second purchase! Well done!
- By Shenandoah Titus, Esq., Author of Bullies, Bosses & Betrayal: Overcoming Workplace Abuse on 08-27-20
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Losing Her, Finding Me
- A Mother's Story of Estrangement and Self-Discovery
- By: Michelle Rohlf
- Narrated by: Michelle Rohlf
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Michelle Rohlf's unwanted estrangement from her daughter Naomi strips her of everything: her grandchildren, her peace of mind, and most of all, herself. In spite of her broken heart and broken spirit, she embarks on a three-year journey of healing and forgiveness, discovering the impact her own upbringing had on her attachment to her daughter. Just as Michelle learns that her life isn't over because her daughter walked away, Naomi shows up, without apology or explanation. This is the story of a woman who had to lose her daughter in order to find the identity she'd never really had.
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This resonates so much with my own situation 🙏
- By Heidi McLemore on 08-24-24
By: Michelle Rohlf
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Constructive Wallowing
- How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them
- By: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrated by: Kimberly Mintz
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Constructive Wallowing is the first book to cut right to the chase, bypassing descriptions of Eastern philosophy and meditation techniques to teach listeners how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health. It’s tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief, or regret; however, ignoring them just seems to make them stick around.
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Wonderful. I needed to hear every word.
- By LisaLisa B. on 05-17-25
By: Tina Gilbertson
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Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed
- Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role
- By: Rebecca C. Mandeville MFT
- Narrated by: Patricia Burgos
- Length: 2 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Family scapegoating is an insidious form of "invisible" abuse that is difficult to recognize. It is therefore critical that adult survivors of dysfunctional or narcissistic family systems understand what type of abuse they are trying to recover from. In Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, licensed psychotherapist and family systems expert Rebecca C. Mandeville uses her research findings on what she named "Family Scapegoating Abuse" (FSA) to help survivors recognize and release the damaging "scapegoat" narrative associated with the family "identified patient" role.
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It’s all true!
- By Jami on 05-08-25
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Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children
- Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
- By: Allison Bottke
- Narrated by: Margaret Strom
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A tough-love guide to coping with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y. - a six-step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.
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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.
- By Mickerj on 10-20-16
By: Allison Bottke
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Healing From Family Rifts
- Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member
- By: Mark Sichel
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome.
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Excellent in every way
- By Mary on 11-07-21
By: Mark Sichel
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Doing Life with Your Adult Children
- Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out
- By: Jim Burns PhD
- Narrated by: Wayne Campbell
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years.
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Some good points but...
- By Millie on 06-15-19
By: Jim Burns PhD
I read this as an estate planning attorney interested in the subject because I see it so much. It really all starts with family. This gives many tools to reconcile and ample reasons why you should, even (especially) in situations that were traumatizing and awful.
If you are thinking about this book, get it.
Well worth it
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Solid content
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A wealth of knowledge from first hand experiences
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Solid advice and hope for both sides.
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Read worthy
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very helpful!
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Relatable & Hopefilled
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Estrangement can be avoided and healed. There’s hope.
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Everyone should listen to this, whether you are currently in an estrangement or not.
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This is the best estrangement book I have read!
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