
When Parents Hurt
Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
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Narrated by:
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Paul Boehmer
About this listen
This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents:
- Reduce anger, guilt, and shame
- Learn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bond
- Come to terms with their own and their child's imperfections
- Understand how society's high expectations of parents contribute to the risk of parental wounds
By helping parents recognize what they can do and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other.
©2008 Joshua Coleman, PhD (P)2016 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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3 hours in. 3 hours of other people's problems.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
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Performance
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From someone who has BPD
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When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
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Very Helpful
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But It’s Your Family...
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath. Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Reconciling, in many cases, only sets people up for more abuse. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that this is a part of life; there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best.
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My second purchase! Well done!
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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
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A MUST read for everyone!
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Surviving Parental Alienation
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Half of all marriages end. Unfortunately, about 20% of divorces are high-conflict, involving frequent visits to court, allegations of abuse, and chronic disagreements regarding parenting schedules. In response to this conflict, some children become aligned with one parent against the other - even a parent who has done nothing to warrant the hostile rejection of their formerly loving children. These parents are on a painful journey with an uncertain outcome. Surviving Parental Alienation fills the tremendous need for concrete help for these parents.
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Accurate, Authentic: what PA looks like & how it feels to Kids and Targets.
- By Sia on 01-25-20
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Critic reviews
People who viewed this also viewed...
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Rules of Estrangement
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Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied.
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In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives. As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over pain.
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Take your life back and let healing begin
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Performance
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Story
We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
-
-
Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
-
Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
- Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship
- By: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
-
-
Will save you from major mistakes
- By Bohdan Hodiak on 09-23-20
By: Tina Gilbertson
-
Fault Lines
- Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
-
-
Fault Lines is a great book.
- By Paula F. Braun on 06-09-21
-
Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
-
-
The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- By Anonymous User on 01-16-25
-
Rules of Estrangement
- Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict
- By: Joshua Coleman
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied.
-
-
Excellent book for the parent's perspective
- By Anand on 06-11-21
By: Joshua Coleman
-
Done with the Crying
- Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives. As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over pain.
-
-
Take your life back and let healing begin
- By Jennifer Gill on 05-26-18
By: Sheri McGregor
-
Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
-
-
Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
-
Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
- Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship
- By: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
-
-
Will save you from major mistakes
- By Bohdan Hodiak on 09-23-20
By: Tina Gilbertson
-
Fault Lines
- Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
-
-
Fault Lines is a great book.
- By Paula F. Braun on 06-09-21
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Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- By Anonymous User on 01-16-25
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Banished
- A Grandmother Alone: Surviving Alienation and Estrangement
- By: Nancy Lee Klune
- Narrated by: Nancy Lee Klune
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
- By Britt on 10-13-22
By: Nancy Lee Klune
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How to Really Love Your Adult Child
- Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World
- By: Ross Campbell, Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Dan Robertson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed—including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting"—all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards.
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Helped to bring clarity and direction
- By J.T. on 01-03-24
By: Ross Campbell, and others
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The Dos & Don'ts of Parenting Adult Kids
- Practical Ways to Keep Your Relationship Healthy and Long Lasting, Even When Challenges Arise
- By: Ann Marie Sorenson
- Narrated by: Nancy Higgins
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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No matter how old your child is, you’ll always be their parent. Discover how you can sustain your relationship even when you’re no longer under the same roof.
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Wow
- By Nir on 04-02-23
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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us
- Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
- By: Jane Adams
- Narrated by: Jane Adams
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our 20- and even 30-somethings who can't seem to grow up? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns when our grown kids have failed to thrive.
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3 hours in. 3 hours of other people's problems.
- By Silicon Valley Software Veteran on 02-03-21
By: Jane Adams
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Shadow Daughter
- A Memoir of Estrangement
- By: Harriet Brown
- Narrated by: Harriet Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Shadow Daughter tackles a subject we rarely discuss as a culture: Family estrangements, especially those between parents and adult children. Estrangements - between parents and children, siblings, multiple generations - are surprisingly common, and even families that aren't officially estranged often have some experience of deep conflicts. Estrangement is an issue that touches most people, one way or another, one that's still shrouded in secrecy, stigma, and shame.
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Very dangerous & harmful for society as a whole
- By Suz C. on 01-04-22
By: Harriet Brown
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Healing From Family Rifts
- Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member
- By: Mark Sichel
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome.
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Excellent in every way
- By Mary on 11-07-21
By: Mark Sichel
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Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children
- Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
- By: Allison Bottke
- Narrated by: Margaret Strom
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A tough-love guide to coping with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y. - a six-step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.
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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.
- By Mickerj on 10-20-16
By: Allison Bottke
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Estranged Parents Guide to Resilience
- Achieving a Brighter Future
- By: Joanne Harvey MSW
- Narrated by: Heather Dzielinski
- Length: 4 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Joanne Harvey MSW, a seasoned professional in social work and personal development, draws upon her extensive background to offer profound insights in "Estranged Parents Guide to Resilience." Having worked with hundreds of clients suffering from estrangement, Joanne deeply understands the profound, heartbreaking pain estranged parents endure. As a Pro EFT Master and Certified Havening Practitioner, her gentle guidance and empathetic understanding illuminate a path for readers navigating these difficult times.
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A Hopeful Resource for Healing
- By SCOTT D SCHEPPMANN on 11-25-24
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Estranged
- Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart
- By: Julie Plagens
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 2 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known restauranteur parents who also owned the first nightclub in Texas. After ten years in the entertainment business, her parents made a public conversion to Christianity and went into full-time ministry. Unfortunately, the hardships of maintaining a perfect image as a Christian family became too heavy of a burden due to anger and unforgiveness. After a life-altering health diagnosis (Crohn's disease), Julie, her husband, and their two children walked away from the family to ...
By: Julie Plagens
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Surviving Parental Alienation
- A Journey of Hope and Healing
- By: Amy J.L. Baker PhD, Paul R. Fine LCSW
- Narrated by: Madeleine Dauer
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Half of all marriages end. Unfortunately, about 20% of divorces are high-conflict, involving frequent visits to court, allegations of abuse, and chronic disagreements regarding parenting schedules. In response to this conflict, some children become aligned with one parent against the other - even a parent who has done nothing to warrant the hostile rejection of their formerly loving children. These parents are on a painful journey with an uncertain outcome. Surviving Parental Alienation fills the tremendous need for concrete help for these parents.
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Accurate, Authentic: what PA looks like & how it feels to Kids and Targets.
- By Sia on 01-25-20
By: Amy J.L. Baker PhD, and others
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But It’s Your Family...
- Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath
- By: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Narrated by: Dr. Sherrie Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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But It’s Your Family is a remarkable account of what it means to cut ties to toxic family abuse and thrive in the aftermath. Loving someone doesn’t always mean having a relationship with them, just like forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Reconciling, in many cases, only sets people up for more abuse. A significant part of healing comes with accepting that this is a part of life; there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and function best.
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My second purchase! Well done!
- By Attorney Shenandoah Titus - Author of THE WHISTLEBLOWER: Defeating Bullies, Harassers & Management Gang Retaliation (Amazon) on 08-27-20
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When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart
- Coping with Mental Illness, Substance Abuse, and the Problems that Tear Families Apart
- By: Joel Young MD, Christine Adamec
- Narrated by: Rich Miller
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong - was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?"
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Very Helpful
- By Lisa Adams on 04-08-25
By: Joel Young MD, and others
What listeners say about When Parents Hurt
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- Paul Luedtke
- 12-08-18
Excellent book for hurting parents
Tragic heartbreaking stories experienced by parents can be made easier because of this book. This book is a bit like cleaning out an infected wound but the immediate pain of facing reality is countered quickly with a soothing balm that makes the pain much more manageable and even at times makes one able to set it aside for a time. It also provides for the healing of that wound that may not have been possible without the honesty of this book. While this is not a quick fix book - nor does it provide any guarantees - it provides for the possibility of hope in what may be the most painful occurrance in human life. Thanks to the author for writing this.
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- Pennies in the fountain
- 08-08-19
Very supportive for estranged parents and kids
This was a recommended read because of the anguish experienced when family members experience estrangement. It helped me tremendously. Listening to others' experiences made me feel less alone in coping with this painful part of life's journey. Most of all, the book helps to get the reader to the point of acceptance and hope without as much of the grief, confusion and guilt. Narration pleasant and easy to listen to.
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- Khat G
- 12-12-20
It’s hard to get past the robotic speaking
I really want to ”read” this book but it’s difficult to listen to. It doesn't sound like a person reading it. It sounds like a computer robot voice. Extremely disappointing
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- Carol Nain
- 09-27-22
worth a Listen
I appreciated the efforts the author made to understand. I would have liked a special mention of what to do when your adult daughter gushes love onto your spouse but blames you and cuts only you out of their lives.
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1 person found this helpful
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- B. Serrano
- 10-16-23
Great parenting book
Excellent book both to read as an adult child, and as a parent. It helps to understand parents, and why they did what they did, and how we may have been brought up and how that upbringing reflects in how we parent, which in turn reflects on our kids behavior.
Tools are given to navigate many possible scenarios.
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- David P. Wingert
- 02-06-24
A wonderful resource for parents and clinicians!
This book is a wonderful resource for parents and clinicians (maybe even attorneys to recommend to their clients).
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- Patti B.
- 11-05-23
A lifesaver
I will listen to this book multiple times. The questions raised really do make you think of your own actions and how they contributed to the place you find yourself in with your grown children. I am grateful for the suggestions here that allow me to hold on to hope and get through some of the most difficult moments.
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- David Fox
- 03-17-21
Very good
The voice of the narrator is fine. Ignore those who are criticizing it. The questions are fine as well.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Susants
- 10-26-16
Required reading for parents of kids 7 and up to prepare for the next 15+ years!
Comprehensive "Preventative medicine" for proactive parents to be well prepared for the next 15+ years.
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- Anne
- 12-05-20
Eye Opening and Real
My life is changed in the most positive way from this book. Truly and eye opening experience and I am so glad I've stumbled upon this excellent book. The narration felt robotic and almost like it was read by automation which I found distracting. that said, the information has indeed changed my life for the better.
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