Rules of Estrangement
Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict
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Narrated by:
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Fred Sanders
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By:
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Joshua Coleman
About this listen
A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children.
“Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.” (Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren.
As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his 40 years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible.
While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
©2020 Joshua Coleman (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike. Rules of Estrangement candidly addresses parental estrangement from every conceivable angle, steering readers away from shame and blame to a place of newfound understanding and empowerment. I’ve seen many parents and adult children grappling with these issues, and this is exactly the book they have all been waiting for. I will be recommending it widely.” (Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
“A very thoughtful book filled with great wisdom and care. Over Dr. Coleman’s years of practice, as well as his own personal journey, he has developed a deep appreciation for how to help parents see their relationship with their children through the child’s eyes. It is through that process of compassionate perspective taking [WJ1] that a healing conversation can begin.” (Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome)
“Coleman addresses what historians see as a strange paradox: Even as more adult children view their parents as friends rather than mere obligations, psychologists report seeing a wave of parents who have been rejected by their adult children. Coleman explores the socioeconomic and cultural changes that inflate both our expectations and our disappointments in family life, offering calming advice on ways that estranged families can recover or move on.” (Stephanie Coontz, author of The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap)
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Great advice IF you decide to or must continue a relationship with someone with BPD
- By Sarah M. on 05-21-24
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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Not worth tour time...
- By TMT on 12-12-16
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Fault Lines
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Fault Lines is a great book.
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Done with the Crying
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In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives. As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over pain.
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Take your life back and let healing begin
- By Jennifer Gill on 05-26-18
By: Sheri McGregor
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Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
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- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
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Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
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Will save you from major mistakes
- By Bohdan Hodiak on 09-23-20
By: Tina Gilbertson
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Banished
- A Grandmother Alone: Surviving Alienation and Estrangement
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Instead of Hope it’s a Heavy Heart
- By Britt on 10-13-22
By: Nancy Lee Klune
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Dope Therapy
- A Radical Guide to Owning Your Therapy Journey
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For many people, there is fear and stigma associated with entering the therapy room. Maybe you've been told that going to therapy means something is wrong with you. Maybe you don't know what to expect. Even if you recognize the benefits of seeking help, it can feel scary and unknown to take that first step. If you've thought about therapy but don't know where to start, or if you've tried therapy in the past but it hasn't helped, Authentic Therapy is for you.
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Best intro & explainer therapy book I've ever read
- By Reggie on 01-19-23
By: Shani Tran
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When Parents Hurt
- Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
- By: Joshua Coleman PhD
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This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
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Not worth tour time...
- By TMT on 12-12-16
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Fault Lines
- Fractured Families and How to Mend Them
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Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved - collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations. More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families.
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Fault Lines is a great book.
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Done with the Crying
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In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives. As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over pain.
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Take your life back and let healing begin
- By Jennifer Gill on 05-26-18
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Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
- Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship
- By: Tina Gilbertson
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
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Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches.
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Will save you from major mistakes
- By Bohdan Hodiak on 09-23-20
By: Tina Gilbertson
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Banished
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For author Nancy Lee Klune, the nightmare began with a phone call from a stranger. The man, who identified himself as a family therapist, informed her that her son and daughter-in-law had decided that she was to have no further contact with them or their four children. This call set in motion a 10-year journey of deep pain, emotional turmoil, and personal growth as she found ways to cope with this indescribable loss.
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Best intro & explainer therapy book I've ever read
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A Pity Party Is Still a Party
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What if all the advice we’ve received about “looking on the bright side” is wrong? What if sadness is actually the key to happiness, and can even be . . . fun? Garner is here to make that case. In this feel-good guide to feeling bad, she claims it’s not enough for us to tolerate hard feelings. We need to embrace them. We need to let them show by crying with others. Often. In public. Playful, at times irreverent, but always sincere, Garner is the grown-up Miss Frizzle for the therapy generation.
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permission to be exactly as you are
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Things I Learned from Falling
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In 2018, writer Claire Nelson made international headlines when she fell over 25 feet after wandering off the trail in a deserted corner of Joshua Tree. The fall shattered her pelvis, rendering her completely immobile. There Claire lay for the next four days, surrounded by boulders that muffled her cries for help, but exposed her to the relentless California sun above. Her rescuers had not expected to find her alive. In Things I Learned from Falling, Claire tells not only her story of surviving, but also her story of falling.
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Stunning and interesting
- By Amazon Customer on 11-29-23
By: Claire Nelson
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Say What You Mean
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We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic - relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack? In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and nonviolent communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating.
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Life Changing!
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By: Oren Jay Sofer, and others
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Your Pocket Therapist
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Every day, psychotherapist Dr. Annie Zimmerman meets clients in her London practice who are struggling with their lives. They’re committed to achieving personal growth, making changes—but they’re struck at the question stage. They ask her: Why do I keep going back to a bad relationship? Why did I lose my temper? What is wrong with me? Here’s the thing: nothing is wrong with them. It’s just that they’re asking themselves the wrong questions. In Your Pocket Therapist, Dr. Zimmerman helps listeners delve into their past to identify unhelpful old patterns and teach them how to unlock the present.
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Informative & Thoughtful
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Healing from Hidden Abuse
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Within every community, toxic people can be found hiding in families, couples, companies, and places of worship. The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.
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Proceed with caution
- By Kamel on 10-17-18
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The Beauty of What Remains
- How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift
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As the senior rabbi of one of the largest synagogues in the world, Steve Leder has learned over and over again the many ways death teaches us how to live and love more deeply by showing us not only what is gone but also the beauty of what remains. This inspiring and comforting book takes us on a journey through the experience of loss that is fundamental to everyone.
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MAY BECOME A CLASSIC
- By Alamo Don on 01-07-21
By: Steve Leder
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Burn
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Pontzer's groundbreaking studies with hunter-gatherer tribes show how exercise doesn't increase our metabolism. Instead, we burn calories within a very narrow range: nearly 3,000 calories per day, no matter our activity level. This was a brilliant evolutionary strategy to survive in times of famine. Now it seems to doom us to obesity. The good news is we can lose weight, but we need to cut calories. Refuting such weight-loss hype as paleo, keto, anti-gluten, anti-grain, and even vegan, Pontzer discusses how all diets succeed or fail: For shedding pounds, a calorie is a calorie.
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Went from Science to Psuedo Science
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Mastering the Process
- From Idea to Novel
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As the author of 24 novels, Elizabeth George is one of the most successful - and prolific - novelists today. In Mastering the Process, George offers listeners a master class in the art and science of crafting a novel. This is a subject she knows well, having taught creative writing both nationally and internationally for over 30 years. Drawing from her personal photos, early notes, character analyses, and rough drafts, George shows us every stage of how she wrote her novel Careless in Red.
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Loved it so much ordered the hardback
- By Tauny on 11-10-20
By: Elizabeth George
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Live Your Life
- My Story of Loving and Losing Nick Cordero
- By: Amanda Kloots, Anna Kloots
- Narrated by: Amanda Kloots
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
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Amanda Kloots bravely reflects on love, loss, and life with her husband, Broadway star, and Tony Award nominee Nick Cordero, whose public battle with COVID-19 and tragic death made headlines around the world.
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Beautiful, sweet, heartbreaking
- By brisbh on 06-19-21
By: Amanda Kloots, and others
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Beyond Done with the Crying
- More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
- By: Sheri McGregor MA
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 13 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For any parent of estranged adult children, reconciling may be a solo sport. Even when reconciliations do occur, their success requires wisdom and strength. That's why it's so important to empower yourself, make positive changes, and reclaim your life, even while waiting and continuing to reach out (if you choose to). Beyond Done with the Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children is filled with information and solutions to the complex, real-life problems that plague parents of estranged adult children and their families.
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The title could really be "How to Stay Estranged"
- By Anonymous User on 01-16-25
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Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door
- How to Protect Yourself Against a Ruthless Manipulator
- By: Martha Stout Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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While the best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid him or her entirely, sometimes circumstance doesn't allow for that. What happens when the time comes to defend yourself against your own child, a ruthless ex-spouse, a boss, or another person in power? Using the many emails and letters she has received over the years, Dr. Martha Stout uncovers the psychology behind the sociopath’s methods and provides concrete guidelines to help navigate these dangerous interactions.
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Misleading Title, disappointing content
- By Brandon nieves on 11-03-20
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Estranged
- Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart
- By: Julie Plagens
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In Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart, Julie Plagens shares about her life as a child of well-known restauranteur parents who also owned the first nightclub in Texas. After ten years in the entertainment business, her parents made a public conversion to Christianity and went into full-time ministry. Unfortunately, the hardships of maintaining a perfect image as a Christian family became too heavy of a burden due to anger and unforgiveness. After a life-altering health diagnosis (Crohn's disease), Julie, her husband, and their two children walked away from the family to ...
By: Julie Plagens
What listeners say about Rules of Estrangement
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- Anand
- 06-11-21
Excellent book for the parent's perspective
The book gives great insight into the phenomenon of parental estrangement, and is an excellent guide for parents whose adult children have estranged them. The author empathizes deeply with such parents.
That being said, the book misses out on showing the adult child's perspective and how parental choices or other incidents can affect them far into adulthood. The book could also have used a chapter on things you can do while your kids are still young to have a better relationship with them in adulthood.
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22 people found this helpful
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- ljfsema
- 08-08-22
Best book on this topic
This is a thorough and thoughtful book on the painful topic of estrangement. I sometimes agreed and sometimes rejected the info here, but always found the subject thought provoking and insightful. The author does well to describe what I’m feeling as well as giving insight into what my daughter feels and couldn’t exactly vocalize. I end this with more knowledge before, and while maybe not a plan for reconciliation, but a hint of where that would take me if I’m willing to go.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 03-08-24
Perspective of both sides
This book is very helpful as an estranged parent . It gave helpful examples of how my daughter may be feeling and eased my pain just a little. We all deserve love, faults and all. And for me the most important thing is that my adult child is happy, even though we are estranged for now, she may need this separated time to find her independence from me in her own way, and that can also be okay.
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1 person found this helpful
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- LBB
- 07-23-24
The Depth of every word on both sides.
Joshua is BRILLIANT in his understanding of so many complex relationships. Best book I have ever listened to! I will buy it & listen, read & make notes. I'm still in complete shock that he literally had healing advice & gave practical solutions on the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Every person on the planet needs to read this book!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous One
- 05-13-24
Knowledge author and therapist!
Very good book! This author is special cause he doesn’t have a biased attitude! I learned a lot and will reread. I already feel better with my daughter’s estrangement., and I’m grateful to this knowledge author/therapist.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lanette
- 03-16-21
Helpful, informed, compassionate
An excellent overview of how shifting parenting norms and expectations have caused a surge in parent-child estrangement. The author, who was estranged from his daughter for a time, gives specific instructions for writing an abjectly apologetic amends letter. But mostly he counsels radical acceptance since many children will never reconcile. He wants parents to know they deserve to be happy with or without their child.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-08-21
Good Interpretations and Direction
I enjoyed the topics and learning other ways we can accept and handle the separation of our adult children and grand children. I incorporated some of the ideas and hope they assist in our healing process moving forward.
This book was easy to listen to. It remained interesting with good story lines to tie into the actions or suggestions we could try. If you think the title of the chapter doesn’t match where you’re at, listen to it anyway, you never know what you will learn.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Mark Lamelza
- 02-14-24
Culture Shift Impact
This book helped me better understand how my 32 year old daughter’s estrangement of me is also influenced by her generations shift away from traditional Christian values. That I need to accept this new reality, striving to meet her where she & her husband are if I hope to continue a relationship with my grandson.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-03-22
Very quality content to understand empathic conversations with your adult children
Really excellent- albeit emotionally tough - this book provides a detailed experience of young adults and their parents when the threat of estrangement is looming. Strong real life examples and easily adapted strategies for the reader. Thank you for writing this!
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- The Dav
- 10-13-22
Dr. Coleman Gets It
Dr. Coleman really understands the agony of what us parents of estranged kids are going through. Every chapter was fascinating and I found myself saying, "Yep" more than once.
His explanations of why this phenomenon is growing were apt, if alarming.
If you or someone you know is experiencing estrangement, this book is a must-read primer on the entire subject, as seen from both points of view.
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