How to Change Someone You Love
Four Steps to Help You Help Them
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Narrated by:
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Brad Lamm
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By:
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Brad Lamm
About this listen
A powerful, ground-breaking book that shows you, in concrete steps, how to stop a loved one from engaging in self destructive behavior.
Stop your husband from drinking himself to death. Don't let your brother lose it all to gambling. Get your kid off drugs. Motivate your best friend to lose weight. Make your spendthrift brother-in-law stop maxing out his credit cards. Get your sister out of an abusive relationship. Erase anger in your co-worker.
If you're tired of watching your spouse, child, relative, or best friend go downhill, dragging you with them, How to Change Someone You Love will help you turn their lives around. You don't have to endure behavior that is unhealthy, abusive, possibly deadly, and that threatens to unravel relationships. You can change it.
Many books will tell you that you can't change anyone. They advise you not to even try. The problem is, they ignore the tremendous power you actually have to change people.
If most books about change are written for the addict or troubled person, How to Change Someone You Love reaches out to the loved ones who know that change is critical and urgent. This is not just a self-help book; this is a help-you-act book.
"Brad Lamm's step-by-step approach empowers families and friends to change their loved ones through compassionate, caring and continuing support." (Dr. Mehmet Oz)
©2009 Brad Lamm (P)2009 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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The New Codependency
- Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Lorna Raver
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. In The New Codependency, she clears up misconceptions, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
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Please offer with different narrator
- By Janie on 11-12-09
By: Melody Beattie
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Recover to Live
- Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction: Your Self-Treatment Guide to Alcohol, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Gambling, Hoarding, Smoking, Sex, and Porn
- By: Christopher Kennedy Lawford
- Narrated by: Seth Michael Donsky
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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From New York Times bestselling author of Symptoms of Withdrawal and Moments of Clarity Christopher Kennedy Lawford comes a book that will save lives. For most of his early life, Christopher Kennedy Lawford battled life-threatening drug and alcohol addictions. Now in recovery for more than 25 years, he works to effect change and raise global awareness of addiction in nonprofit, private, and government circles, serving as the goodwill ambassador for drug dependence treatment and care for the United Nations.
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I didn't know I was a workaholic
- By wh on 06-17-13
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Rewire
- Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior
- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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Taming Your Outer Child
- Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment
- By: Susan Anderson
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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Emotional First Aid
- Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries
- By: Guy Winch Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Guy Winch Ph.D.
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well.
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insightful and delightful
- By IngleSpanish.laugh.n.learn on 11-02-13
By: Guy Winch Ph.D.
What listeners say about How to Change Someone You Love
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Alexandra
- 05-21-14
Liked it better as it went along
When I first got this book, I had in mind someone I was trying to get to lose weight. After listening to the first couple chapters, I decided this book was for people dealing with alcoholics and drug addicts and gave up on it. I picked it up again recently, and I'm glad I did. While it does focus on the more severe end of the spectrum, many of the tactics it suggests are useful for any problem- giving an eyewitness account, flashing forward, praising the good, suggesting competing behaviors, not telling someone "no" or "don't" but focusing on what they can do instead. Although 60-70% of the book turned out not to be relevant to my current situation, I wouldn't rule out the possibility it might be relevant someday, and in the meantime I'll make use of the rest. Recommended.
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Overall
- Jami
- 01-11-10
Straightforward, helpful, empowering book
Brad Lamm's book is a must read for those seeking to help a loved one get beyond an addiction. Lamm's approach is a whole new take on the "tough love" mentality of "intervention." He debunks the myths about helping those you love with straight forward discussion and real world examples. The chapter on "when to step in" is a must read if you are not quite sure if your loved one really has problem or not.
He doesn't just give you a script of what to do but instead he walks you through each step with real world examples. He even includes how to handle the "what if" situations. For example, when I was reading through the section on having a "family meeting" I kept thinking "yea, but what if the person you're trying to help won't come or storms out of the meeting?" Lamm addresses this head on.
This is not a typical "self help" book. It is a guide and handbook for family members and loved ones to help get a loved one off drugs, alcohol, help for eating disorders, smoking, just about anything. The book includes extensive resources such as checklists and examples of the "change agreement."
I have the paperback version of the book but bought the audio version as well. I highly recommend the audio version as it is read by the author himself. Although I'm not sure how to get the PDF versions of the checklists and resources that are listed in the book and referred to in the audio version (the author states "in pdf format on the DVD - well I downloaded the audible version, I didnt purchase a DVD). At this point it's not a big deal since I have the book as well.
If you have a loved one who needs help with any sort of addiction, then you need to get this book/listen.
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5 people found this helpful