You're Not Listening
What You're Missing and Why It Matters
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Narrated by:
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Kate Murphy
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By:
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Kate Murphy
About this listen
"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.
In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.
©2019 Kate Murphy (P)2019 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Packed with powerful principles.
- By Jade/Clinton Phillips on 01-27-18
By: Michael J. Gelb
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The Secret Lives of Introverts
- Inside Our Hidden World
- By: Jenn Granneman
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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The Compassionate Achiever
- How Helping Others Fuels Success
- By: Christopher L. Kukk
- Narrated by: Rick Adamson
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades we've been told the key to prosperity is to look out for number one. But recent science shows that to achieve durable success, we need to be more than just achievers; we need to be compassionate achievers. New research in biology, neuroscience, and economics has found that compassion - recognizing a problem or caring about another's pain and making a commitment to help - not only improves others' lives; it can transform our own.
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Me me me
- By Someone or not? on 04-04-20
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The Introvert's Way
- Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
- By: Sophia Dembling
- Narrated by: Rose Itzcovitz
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
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This clever and pithy audiobook challenges introverts to take ownership of their personalities...with quiet strength. Sophia Dembling asserts that the introvert’s lifestyle is not "wrong" or lacking, as society or extroverts would have us believe. Through a combination of personal insights and psychology, The Introvert’s Way helps and encourages introverts to embrace their nature, to respect traits they may have been ashamed of and reframe them as assets.
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Common Sense Fluff
- By James on 06-17-15
By: Sophia Dembling
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The Like Switch
- An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over
- By: Jack Schafer PhD, Ph.D. Marvin Karlins Ph.D.
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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The Like Switch is packed with all the tools you need for turning strangers into friends, whether you are on a sales call, a first date, or a job interview. As a Special Agent for the FBI's National Security Division's Behavioral Analysis Program, Dr. Jack Schafer developed dynamic and breakthrough strategies for profiling terrorists and detecting deception. Now, Dr. Schafer has evolved his proven-on-the-battlefield tactics for the day-to-day, but no less critical battle of getting people to like you.
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Very informative , PDF on audible website....
- By Michael Jones on 11-30-15
By: Jack Schafer PhD, and others
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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
- By: Nicholas Boothman
- Narrated by: Nicholas Boothman
- Length: 3 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether meeting a new client or bumping into a potential mate, you only have a few seconds to make a favorable impression. Is that really possible? Author Nicholas Boothman, a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming, believes yes! He introduces a revolutionary approach to face-to-face communication that will help anyone succeed at making meaningful, and immediate, connections.
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Absolutely Wonderful
- By Maggie Baumann on 06-09-04
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Thanks for the Feedback
- The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
- By: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Narrated by: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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The coauthors of the New York Times best-selling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: How we see ourselves. Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past 15 years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice.
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Poor narration ruins yet another good read
- By WordNerd on 08-25-14
By: Sheila Heen, and others
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Autism in Heels
- The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
- By: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Toole
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
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This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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Mindwise
- Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
- By: Nicholas Epley
- Narrated by: Nicholas Epley
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It's a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams. How good are you at knowing the minds of others?
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Finally gave up - no real point
- By Thomas on 05-12-14
By: Nicholas Epley
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The Game of Desire
- 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
- By: Shannon Boodram
- Narrated by: Shannon Boodram
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully single we are. Certified sexologist and intimacy coach Shan Boodram - the most sought-after sex educator on the internet - is about to change all that. In this essential how-to guide, she addresses the realities of life today - when the rules of love and attraction are fluid - and teaches a group of young women how to become master daters in just 60 days.
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Hey it’s me...you
- By Shan Boody on 09-25-19
By: Shannon Boodram
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How to Validate People
- Listen and Hear Better to Form Deep Connections Fast (Master Your Communication and Social Skills)
- By: Ian Tuhovsky
- Narrated by: Randy Streu
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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If you want relations that bring joy, fulfilment, and peace into your life. Then you’re looking at the right book. Most people have a hard time nurturing long-term, meaningful relationships. You’re exposed to new people daily at work, at the gym, or even at the supermarket. Despite this, less than one in ten interactions end up flourishing into a friendship.
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Very little how to. Misleading title
- By Amazon Customer on 01-10-24
By: Ian Tuhovsky
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Truth and Lies
- What People Are Really Thinking
- By: Mark Bowden, Tracey Thomson
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether you're at a job interview or a cocktail party, searching LinkedIn, or swiping right on a dating site, you want (no - need) to understand what people are really thinking, regardless of what they're saying. Understanding what others are trying to tell you with their posture, hand gestures, eye contact (or lack thereof), or incessant fiddling with their iPhone might all be even more important than what you're projecting yourself.
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The Abcs of Body Language.
- By Myrrh28 on 03-27-21
By: Mark Bowden, and others
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The Secret Life of Pronouns
- What Our Words Say About Us
- By: James W. Pennebaker
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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We spend our lives communicating. In the last 50 years, we've zoomed through radically different forms of communication, from typewriters to tablet computers, text messages to tweets. We generate more and more words with each passing day. Hiding in that deluge of language are amazing insights into who we are, how we think, and what we feel.
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Sticks and Stones and Words Can Really Help You
- By Lynn on 09-24-12
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Marriage saving!
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How to Listen
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Listening helps us be there for others, to support them in tough times and to strengthen our relationships with partners, family, friends and colleagues. From opening up a conversation with someone who might be struggling, to how to use gentle encouragement to help others share their stories, How to Listen demonstrates the power of listening without judgement and draws on the extensive experience of Samaritans in offering practical advice to apply to your own life.
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California, USA
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How to Make People Laugh
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Want to learn how to make people laugh out loud? How to Make People Laugh is a book that targets regular comedians, such as you and me. It does not try to transform you into a professional comedian. Instead, it puts comedy in the spotlight of everyday life. With this book, you will learn techniques that you can easily incorporate at parties or even in regular banter with friends and colleagues.
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Go to youtube
- By Anotony on 09-05-21
What listeners say about You're Not Listening
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- David
- 05-04-21
A book sorely needed in today's frenetic life
At work, my employees let me know that I was not a great listener. As a result, I searched for and found this audiobook. I loved listening to it and it has been a catalyst for change for me. Not only have I improved at work, but I have also improved at home with my wife and kids. If I change just a fraction of what this book talks about, I will have a considered my experience a success. Thanks for writing such an important book that is so badly needed in today's society.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Nathan
- 07-16-20
Calming your own voice to listen
If you need to calm your own voice in your head to better listen to those around you, check out this book - it’s worth the read. I appreciate that I’m not the only one out there that deals with the constant chatter.
Listening is leadership and I believe this can help.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 03-21-23
Great narration and message everyone should hear
I found the narrater (and author) incredibly precise and a good narrataror. Her voices exudes passion about the subject which I think does add to the audiobook. The book itself is concise without too much fluff. It adds anecdotes and interesting quotes and without getting anecdotal. It changed the way how I listen, and I really try to give the people around me more quality attention and true listening. Like she mentioned, this can be surprisingly hard. Easy recommendation for anyone who might be interested.
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2 people found this helpful
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- MZF
- 01-26-20
a conversation with great content
why listening is important and how it can make people feel. using listening as a tool to improve understanding and move you towards what you want. I'll be reading this again for sure. seems like a book I'll take more away from every time I read.
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6 people found this helpful
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- S Thompson
- 06-04-21
Worth listening to more than once
I’ve wanted to be a better and more curious listener for some time.
This book has opened my eyes in profound and hopefully lasting ways. Kate Murphy has a wonderful way of combining story and research to help me see my interactions with other people and the ways that I’m not listening very well.
I came away from this book more hopeful and committed to being a better listener. Kate convinced me that listening is far more than nodding and paraphrasing; it is my next great adventure!
This book was a joy to listen to.
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- Reta
- 10-23-20
I listened!
I loved this book. It was written to read (listen to) it like you were having a conversation with the author. Reading it on Audible was like a double bonus exercise in learning to listen while listening. I was able to identify many ways I can improve my ability to be a better listener. I am grateful to Kate Murphy for her intense dedication to journalism and for sharing her knowledge to help others be better listeners.
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- Nandi
- 08-12-20
this book was enjoyable-
i thoroughly enjoyed this book. Even though I listened while driving, working & cooking, the content was great and well presented.
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- dirtisbeautiful
- 02-02-23
Informative
This book was full of great information yet black bring it into practice, which is what I was looking for.
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- KHaRT
- 06-05-24
Awesome Content
I enjoyed the stories and examples which allowed for relevant application of the concepts.
I didn’t care for the narrator’s voice or her overuse of the word “moreover”…but the content was engaging.
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- Justin Henline
- 01-31-23
Really good book, not my favorite narration
I found great value in the content, but ironically loathed the author's voice. My distaste for her voice may have just been some personal remembrance triggered by her tone. She read it with spirit... I just disliked listening. Great observations and compelling ideas kept me going despite my auditory aversion. If I had a do-over, I would read the book rather than listen to it. The book is well written and the fact that I will most likely purchase the paper version to soak up more of it's wisdom should speak for itself.
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