
You're Not Listening
What You're Missing and Why It Matters
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Narrated by:
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Kate Murphy
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By:
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Kate Murphy
About this listen
"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.
In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.
©2019 Kate Murphy (P)2019 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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For many of us, listening is simply something we do on autopilot. We hear just enough of what others say to get our work done, maintain friendships, and be polite with our neighbors. But we miss crucial opportunities to go deeper - to give and receive honest feedback, to make connections that will endure for the long haul, and to discover who people truly are at their core. Fortunately, listening can be improved - and Ximena Vengoechea can show you how.
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Isolating Introvert
- By Konie on 04-09-22
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How to Listen, Hear, and Validate
- Break Through Invisible Barriers and Transform Your Relationships (How to be More Likable and Charismatic, Book 11)
- By: Patrick King
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Listen, Hear, and Validate is all about our top communication struggle - our tendency to react instead of respond, and forget that our goal is to build bridges rather than walls. You’ll learn what you’ve been doing wrong, and why your efforts at getting closer to people - in deep or light manners - have failed. You’ll learn actionable techniques and frameworks to have the most productive conversations of your life - ones that will walk away with people praising how empathetic you are.
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Plagiarized
- By Exactly My Point on 12-07-21
By: Patrick King
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Saved from Success
- How God Can Free You from Culture's Distortion of Family, Work, and the Good Life
- By: Dale Partridge
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 1 hr and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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When Dale Partridge's outwardly perfect life, marriage, and family were crumbling on the inside, he began questioning if culture's definition of success was something to seek after or to be saved from. What he found challenged everything he believed about "the good life" and equipped him to rebuild an even better life based on God's timeless design. Filled with scripture and practical application, Saved from Success is the book millions of burned-out and bedraggled Christians have been waiting for.
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Convicting and Inspiring
- By Betsy Gooch on 04-02-19
By: Dale Partridge
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Positive Parenting
- An Essential Guide
- By: Rebecca Eanes
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular parenting blogger Rebecca Eanes shares her hard-won wisdom for overcoming limiting thought patterns and recognizing emotional triggers, as well as advice for connecting with kids at each stage, from infancy to adolescence. This heartfelt, insightful advice comes not from an "expert," but from a learning, evolving parent.
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It saved my life
- By Samantha khalil on 05-22-17
By: Rebecca Eanes
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Simple Thinking
- How to Remove Complexity from Life and Work
- By: Richard Gerver
- Narrated by: Gavin Osborn
- Length: 3 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Awaken your passion, and tap in to your inner greatness as you remove the metaphorical clutter from your life with Simple Thinking. You'll learn how to expand your mind and understand your true potential through the power of thinking simply while stripping back the jargon and digging to the core of any obstacle in your way.
By: Richard Gerver
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How to Make People Laugh
- Develop Confidence and Charisma, Master Improv Comedy, and Be More Witty with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere (Communication Skills Training, Book 1)
- By: James W. Williams
- Narrated by: Johnny Bud
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Want to learn how to make people laugh out loud? How to Make People Laugh is a book that targets regular comedians, such as you and me. It does not try to transform you into a professional comedian. Instead, it puts comedy in the spotlight of everyday life. With this book, you will learn techniques that you can easily incorporate at parties or even in regular banter with friends and colleagues.
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Go to youtube
- By Anotony on 09-05-21
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Predictably Irrational
- The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions
- By: Dan Ariely
- Narrated by: Simon Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In a series of illuminating, often surprising experiments, MIT behavioral economist Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we behave in fundamentally rational ways. Blending everyday experience with groundbreaking research, Ariely explains how expectations, emotions, social norms, and other invisible, seemingly illogical forces skew our reasoning abilities.
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Good lessons, mediocre science?
- By William Stanger on 02-24-09
By: Dan Ariely
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A Grief Observed
- By: C. S. Lewis
- Narrated by: Mark Bowen
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Grief Observed is C. S. Lewis's deeply personal and poignant reflection on the intense grief he experienced following the death of his wife, Joy Davidman. Written as a series of journal entries, the book offers an intimate glimpse into Lewis's raw emotional journey, where he grapples with profound sorrow, anger, doubt, and ultimately faith. In this powerful meditation on loss, Lewis confronts his own beliefs about God, suffering, and the afterlife, questioning his faith and the nature of divine love in the midst of overwhelming pain.
By: C. S. Lewis
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You Can Win
- By: Shiv Khera
- Narrated by: Susheel Kumar
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A practical, common-sense guide that will lead you from ancient wisdom to modern-day thinking, You Can Win will help you to establish new goals, develop a renewed sense of purpose and generate fresh and exciting ideas about yourself and your future. Shiv Khera guarantees, as the title suggests, a lifetime of success. The audiobook enables you to translate positive thinking into attitude, ambition and action, all of which combine to give you the winning edge.
By: Shiv Khera
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How to Be Charismatic, Develop Confidence, and Exude Leadership
- The Miracle Formula for Magnetic Charisma, Defeating Anxiety, and Winning at Communication
- By: Richard Banks
- Narrated by: Ben Chinburg
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you want to become your own best version? Do you want to showcase your charismatic, authentic self so that you attract people and become popular? If so, this book How to Be Charismatic, Develop Confidence, and Exude Leadership: The Miracle Formula for Magnetic Charisma, Defeating Anxiety, and Winning at Communication is the right book for you!
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Charisma and leadership have to do with self confidence
- By Amazon Customer on 04-03-25
By: Richard Banks
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Kind Words for Unkind Days
- A Guide to Surviving and Thriving in Difficult Times
- By: Jayne Hardy
- Narrated by: Jayne Hardy
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The perfect practical pick-me-up for life's tough days, this book is the perfect guide to help you feel happier, healthier and calmer. We all have days where we feel like the world is getting us down. But here's the thing - you're not alone. From helping us see what strong really looks like, to what to do when you have no energy for self-care; Jayne Hardy shows us that even on our most difficult days, a little kindness can go a very long way.
By: Jayne Hardy
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Mad at the World
- A Life of John Steinbeck
- By: William Souder
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 15 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The first full-length biography of the Nobel laureate to appear in a quarter century, Mad at the World illuminates what has made the work of John Steinbeck an enduring part of the literary canon: his capacity for empathy. Angered by the plight of the Dust Bowl migrants who were starving even as they toiled to harvest California's limitless bounty and appalled by the country's refusal to recognize the humanity common to all of its citizens, Steinbeck took a stand against social injustice - paradoxically given his inherent misanthropy.
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Well Researched, Good for Die Hard Steinbeck Fans
- By aaron on 11-22-20
By: William Souder
What listeners say about You're Not Listening
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- David
- 05-04-21
A book sorely needed in today's frenetic life
At work, my employees let me know that I was not a great listener. As a result, I searched for and found this audiobook. I loved listening to it and it has been a catalyst for change for me. Not only have I improved at work, but I have also improved at home with my wife and kids. If I change just a fraction of what this book talks about, I will have a considered my experience a success. Thanks for writing such an important book that is so badly needed in today's society.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Nathan
- 07-16-20
Calming your own voice to listen
If you need to calm your own voice in your head to better listen to those around you, check out this book - it’s worth the read. I appreciate that I’m not the only one out there that deals with the constant chatter.
Listening is leadership and I believe this can help.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 03-21-23
Great narration and message everyone should hear
I found the narrater (and author) incredibly precise and a good narrataror. Her voices exudes passion about the subject which I think does add to the audiobook. The book itself is concise without too much fluff. It adds anecdotes and interesting quotes and without getting anecdotal. It changed the way how I listen, and I really try to give the people around me more quality attention and true listening. Like she mentioned, this can be surprisingly hard. Easy recommendation for anyone who might be interested.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Abdullah Al Shammari
- 02-23-25
Must listen for all
although the book starts slow and has a bit of fluff in the beginning, I believe it houses a lot of important lessons for everyone to learn.
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- Justin Henline
- 01-31-23
Really good book, not my favorite narration
I found great value in the content, but ironically loathed the author's voice. My distaste for her voice may have just been some personal remembrance triggered by her tone. She read it with spirit... I just disliked listening. Great observations and compelling ideas kept me going despite my auditory aversion. If I had a do-over, I would read the book rather than listen to it. The book is well written and the fact that I will most likely purchase the paper version to soak up more of it's wisdom should speak for itself.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Andrea Briceno
- 01-05-22
Very insightful
In a world where ain't no body got time to listen, this book is a glass of cold water.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Johan van Essen
- 02-26-23
I really need to listen better
A bit confrontational because it showed I really need to listen better. If you want to learn to listen better and want give people the sense that they are really listened to, this is the book for you. Read it, learn it and apply it!
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2 people found this helpful
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- DenverAnn
- 06-11-24
A helpful and entertaining!
I laughed at myself a little and learned so much about how to listen better and why I want to do that. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to learn how to connect better with others.
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- MZF
- 01-26-20
a conversation with great content
why listening is important and how it can make people feel. using listening as a tool to improve understanding and move you towards what you want. I'll be reading this again for sure. seems like a book I'll take more away from every time I read.
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6 people found this helpful
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- S Thompson
- 06-04-21
Worth listening to more than once
I’ve wanted to be a better and more curious listener for some time.
This book has opened my eyes in profound and hopefully lasting ways. Kate Murphy has a wonderful way of combining story and research to help me see my interactions with other people and the ways that I’m not listening very well.
I came away from this book more hopeful and committed to being a better listener. Kate convinced me that listening is far more than nodding and paraphrasing; it is my next great adventure!
This book was a joy to listen to.
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2 people found this helpful