How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind
Forget the Fairy Tale and Get Real
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Narrated by:
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Vikas Adam
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By:
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Todd Baratz LMHC
About this listen
A sanity-saving guide that cuts through the sky-high expectations of modern love and helps you build healthier and more fulfilling relationships, from the creator of viral Instagram account YourDiagnonsense
“Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest.”—Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us
You’re not crazy. You’re human.
Modern love is a mess and life is (spoiler alert!) very hard. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or on the apps, buckle up, there’s a lot to unlearn.
How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind is your guide to sanity in a culture gone mad. Psychotherapist and sex therapist Todd Baratz blends sharp humor with raw insight as he challenges us to break every rule about love. It’s time to move beyond the relentless pursuit of the perfect partner, to challenge the stigma against neediness, and to rethink our obsession with diagnosing common challenges as disorders.
Instead, he offers an empowering new perspective: Embrace challenges, feel deeply, make mistakes, learn, and grow. Drawing from his extensive experience as both a therapist and a patient, Baratz shares stories of navigating his personal traumas and guiding others through theirs.
This book is an invitation to understand your life as part of a larger cultural narrative. It encourages you to delve into your history, cultivate self-awareness, and take responsibility in your relationships. By doing so, you can move beyond the fairy tale and transform your approach to love.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of resources and a key visual aid from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Todd Baratz (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Todd Baratz will help you love and live sanely. This smart, surprising, and compassionate book is for anyone who ever fell for someone, felt hurt, wondered why, and longed for a better way.”—Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue
“Witty, practical, fun, and deeply honest . . . Baratz’s insights liberate us from the ubiquitous nonsense about relationships that only make us feel worse about ourselves. You might just walk away with a changed life.”—Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us
“Embark on a journey of self-discovery with Baratz’s insightful exploration of love. In this accessible book, he skillfully demystifies the intricacies of fostering a relationship with oneself while navigating the challenges of being in love. It is a must-read for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of relationships and personal well-being.”—Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, therapist, New York Times bestselling author of Drama Free
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- How to Build Healthy Relationships with Yourself and Others
- By: Vex King
- Narrated by: Sid Sagar
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Humans are social animals. But it is nearly impossible to build healthy, sustainable bonds with others without first having a good relationship with yourself. To get along with others, we often alter our habits or subsume our unique personalities. By trying to transform or suppress our true selves, we erode our self-worth and self-knowledge. We begin to lose sight of who we really are and what we truly want. When our self-understanding and self-confidence are damaged, it ultimately hurts our relationships.
By: Vex King
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Be Not Afraid of Love
- Lessons on Fear, Intimacy, and Connection
- By: Mimi Zhu
- Narrated by: Mimi Zhu
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In their early twenties, Mimi Zhu was a survivor of intimate-partner abuse. This left them broken, in search of healing and ways to re-learn love. This work is a testament to the strength and adaptability all humans possess, a tribute to love. Be Not Afraid of Love explores the intersections of love and fear in self-esteem, friendship, family dynamics, and romantic relationships, and extends out to its effects on society and the greater political realm.
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Betrayal is the worst kind of abuse experienced in relationships but we can heal by learning to trust ourselves.
- By Anonymous User on 12-24-24
By: Mimi Zhu
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Show Up as Her
- Ten Laws for Reclaiming Your Power, Embodying Magnetic Energy, and Positive Manifestation
- By: CiiCii
- Narrated by: Natasha Soudek
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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A self-confidence book for women. Is it time to shake up your life? Sick of feeling unfulfilled? Looking at "it" girls and wondering how? CiiCii's empowering book is all about healing negative patterns through radical self-realization, self-love, and growth-all with that positive energy that only a big sister can bring. A self-love bible by the big sister you wish you had. Business owner, life coach, and podcast host CiiCii brings the energy and experience you need for true self-realization and transformation.
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what everyone needs
- By Krystal Robertson on 12-22-24
By: CiiCii
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Emotional Detox
- 7 Steps to Release Toxicity and Energize Joy
- By: Sherianna Boyle
- Narrated by: Norah Tocci
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Flush out negativity and clear a path for new positive habits, behaviors, and emotions with certified energy healer, yoga instructor, and psychology Professor Sherianna Boyle’s emotional detox program, C.L.E.A.N.S.E.
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Not quite helpful
- By Cynthia on 08-28-20
By: Sherianna Boyle
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The Little Big Things
- A young man's belief that every day can be a good day
- By: Henry Fraser
- Narrated by: Henry Fraser
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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A short, inspirational audiobook from Henry Fraser, a young quadriplegic motivational speaker and artist. Henry Fraser was a 17-year-old sports enthusiast and senior prefect when he broke his spinal cord and was left paralysed from the shoulders down. Life as he knew it was over, and yet, through extraordinary determination and a positive attitude, he has forged a successful career as an inspirational speaker and an artist.
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Inspiring!
- By Laura on 11-23-24
By: Henry Fraser
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Beautiful People Don't Just Happen
- How God Redeems Regret, Hurt, and Fear in the Making of Better Humans
- By: Scott Sauls
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In twenty-five years of pastoral ministry, Scott Sauls has come alongside countless individuals and communities through weary seasons and circumstances. From his own seasons of regret, hurt, and fear--including battles with anxiety and depression--he knows what it's like to be unfinished and on the mend under Jesus' merciful, mighty healing hand.
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You need this encouragement.
- By amy kd on 11-28-22
By: Scott Sauls
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Things No One Taught Us About Love
- How to Build Healthy Relationships with Yourself and Others
- By: Vex King
- Narrated by: Sid Sagar
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Humans are social animals. But it is nearly impossible to build healthy, sustainable bonds with others without first having a good relationship with yourself. To get along with others, we often alter our habits or subsume our unique personalities. By trying to transform or suppress our true selves, we erode our self-worth and self-knowledge. We begin to lose sight of who we really are and what we truly want. When our self-understanding and self-confidence are damaged, it ultimately hurts our relationships.
By: Vex King
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Be Not Afraid of Love
- Lessons on Fear, Intimacy, and Connection
- By: Mimi Zhu
- Narrated by: Mimi Zhu
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In their early twenties, Mimi Zhu was a survivor of intimate-partner abuse. This left them broken, in search of healing and ways to re-learn love. This work is a testament to the strength and adaptability all humans possess, a tribute to love. Be Not Afraid of Love explores the intersections of love and fear in self-esteem, friendship, family dynamics, and romantic relationships, and extends out to its effects on society and the greater political realm.
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Betrayal is the worst kind of abuse experienced in relationships but we can heal by learning to trust ourselves.
- By Anonymous User on 12-24-24
By: Mimi Zhu
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Show Up as Her
- Ten Laws for Reclaiming Your Power, Embodying Magnetic Energy, and Positive Manifestation
- By: CiiCii
- Narrated by: Natasha Soudek
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
A self-confidence book for women. Is it time to shake up your life? Sick of feeling unfulfilled? Looking at "it" girls and wondering how? CiiCii's empowering book is all about healing negative patterns through radical self-realization, self-love, and growth-all with that positive energy that only a big sister can bring. A self-love bible by the big sister you wish you had. Business owner, life coach, and podcast host CiiCii brings the energy and experience you need for true self-realization and transformation.
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what everyone needs
- By Krystal Robertson on 12-22-24
By: CiiCii
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Emotional Detox
- 7 Steps to Release Toxicity and Energize Joy
- By: Sherianna Boyle
- Narrated by: Norah Tocci
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Flush out negativity and clear a path for new positive habits, behaviors, and emotions with certified energy healer, yoga instructor, and psychology Professor Sherianna Boyle’s emotional detox program, C.L.E.A.N.S.E.
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Not quite helpful
- By Cynthia on 08-28-20
By: Sherianna Boyle
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The Little Big Things
- A young man's belief that every day can be a good day
- By: Henry Fraser
- Narrated by: Henry Fraser
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
A short, inspirational audiobook from Henry Fraser, a young quadriplegic motivational speaker and artist. Henry Fraser was a 17-year-old sports enthusiast and senior prefect when he broke his spinal cord and was left paralysed from the shoulders down. Life as he knew it was over, and yet, through extraordinary determination and a positive attitude, he has forged a successful career as an inspirational speaker and an artist.
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Inspiring!
- By Laura on 11-23-24
By: Henry Fraser
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Beautiful People Don't Just Happen
- How God Redeems Regret, Hurt, and Fear in the Making of Better Humans
- By: Scott Sauls
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In twenty-five years of pastoral ministry, Scott Sauls has come alongside countless individuals and communities through weary seasons and circumstances. From his own seasons of regret, hurt, and fear--including battles with anxiety and depression--he knows what it's like to be unfinished and on the mend under Jesus' merciful, mighty healing hand.
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You need this encouragement.
- By amy kd on 11-28-22
By: Scott Sauls
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Girl Code
- Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur
- By: Cara Alwill
- Narrated by: Cara Alwill
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Women around the world have responded to Cara Alwill Leyba’s Girl Code with a resounding YES. Companies like Kate Spade and Macy’s have brought her in to teach “the Code.” Inc. magazine named Girl Code one of the “Top 9 Inspiring Books Every Female Entrepreneur Should Read” alongside Lean In, #Girlboss, and Thrive.
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Positivity!!
- By Debra A Smith on 11-30-24
By: Cara Alwill
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Sometimes I Trip On How Happy We Could Be
- By: Nichole Perkins
- Narrated by: Nichole Perkins
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Pop culture is the Pandora’s box of our lives. Racism, wealth, poverty, beauty, inclusion, exclusion, and hope - all of these intractable and unavoidable features course through the media we consume. Examining pop culture’s impact on her life, Nichole Perkins takes listeners on a rollicking trip through the last 20 years of music, media, and the internet from the perspective of one Southern Black woman.
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Open, honest, and amazing
- By chris boutte on 08-21-21
By: Nichole Perkins
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Again, but Better
- By: Christine Riccio
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Shane has been doing college all wrong. Her life has been dorm, dining hall, class, repeat. Time's a ticking, and she needs a change - there's nothing like moving to a new country to really mix things up. Shane signs up for a semester abroad in London. She's going to right all her college mistakes: make friends, pursue boys, and find adventure! Easier said than done. She is soon faced with the complicated realities of living outside her bubble, and when self-doubt sneaks in, her new life starts to fall apart.
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Take it on a Plane and Forget It
- By Amazon Customer on 06-14-19
By: Christine Riccio
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Sista Sister
- By: Candice Brathwaite
- Narrated by: Candice Brathwaite
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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I Am Not Your Baby Mother was a landmark publication in 2020. A thought-provoking, urgent and inspirational guide to life as a Black British mum, it was an important call-to-arms allowing mothers to take control and scrap the parenting rulebook to do it their own way. It was a Sunday Times top-five best seller. Sista Sister is a compilation of essays about all the things Candice wishes someone had talked to her about when she was a young Black girl growing up in London.
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What an amazing read
- By snarkyparanormal on 12-16-24
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Outspoken
- Why Women's Voices Get Silenced and How to Set Them Free
- By: Veronica Rueckert
- Narrated by: Veronica Rueckert
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s undeniable: women’s voices aren’t being heard - at work, at home, in every facet of their lives. The fault lies not with women, but in a culture that seeks to silence women’s voices. However, there are skills every woman can harness to understand her own voice and learn how to use it with confidence. Outspoken provides listeners with the insight, guidance, and encouragement they need to use their voice to successfully communicate in meetings, around the dinner table, and during future political debates.
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Wonderful exploration of the sound and the politics of our voices
- By Treena on 07-04-19
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Good or God?
- Why Good Without God Isn't Enough
- By: John Bevere
- Narrated by: John Bevere
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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If it's good, it must be God. Right? These days the terms good and God seem synonymous. We believe that what's generally accepted as good must be in line with God's will. Generosity, humility, justice - good. Selfishness, arrogance, cruelty - evil. The distinction seems pretty straightforward. But is that all there is to it? This audiobook will do more than ask you to change your behavior. It will empower you to engage with God on a level that will change every aspect of your life.
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Such an important message
- By Nicole Roldan on 10-26-16
By: John Bevere
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Breaking and Mending
- A Junior Doctor’s Stories of Compassion and Burnout
- By: Joanna Cannon
- Narrated by: Joanna Cannon
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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A few years ago, I found myself in A&E. I had never felt so ill. I was mentally and physically broken. So fractured, I hadn't eaten properly or slept well or even changed my expression for months. I sat in a cubicle, behind paper-thin curtains, and I shook with the effort of not crying. I was an inch away from defeat...but I knew I had to carry on. Because I wasn't the patient. I was the doctor.
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Beautifully written and narrated
- By lola a on 06-09-23
By: Joanna Cannon
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Healing Is the New High
- A Guide to Overcoming Emotional Turmoil and Finding Freedom
- By: Vex King
- Narrated by: Sid Sagar
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Achieve genuine inner healing, let go of trauma, and find clarity, resilience, and freedom with number one Sunday Times best-selling author Vex King. Vex developed powerful inner healing techniques to help him break free from his troubled past, heal his emotional pain and trauma, and create a new and empowering belief system. Since then, he's helped thousands of people worldwide unlock their own healing journey. And now, he's here to help you become your own healer, too.
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Everything I needed
- By Brooklyn Parten on 12-28-21
By: Vex King
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The Power of Ethics
- How to Make Good Choices When Our Culture Is on the Edge
- By: Susan Liautaud
- Narrated by: Susan Liautaud
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s not your imagination: We’re living in a time of moral decline. Publicly, we’re bombarded with reports of government leaders acting against the welfare of their constituents; companies prioritizing profits over health, safety, and our best interests; and technology posing risks to society with few or no repercussions for those responsible. Personally, we may be conflicted about how much privacy to afford our children on the internet; how to make informed choices about our purchases and the companies we buy from; or how to handle misconduct we witness at home and at work.
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Responsibility to each other and all of humanity.
- By Kindle Customer on 07-18-24
By: Susan Liautaud
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Marriage After God
- Chasing Boldly After God’s Purpose for Your Life Together
- By: Aaron Smith, Jennifer Smith
- Narrated by: Arthur Elliot, Madison Lawrence, Gabe Wicks - foreword
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Since the very beginning, God's design for marriage is for husbands and wives to be ambassadors of holy love to a hurting world. Still, so many couples stop short at happy and wonder why they feel unsatisfied. Rather than "you and me against the world", God calls each couple to the rich and meaningful mission of "you and me for the world".
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Is your husband/wife the most respected man/cherished woman in this world?
- By Hi Hi on 12-04-23
By: Aaron Smith, and others
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Me to We
- Finding Meaning in a Material World
- By: Craig Kielburger, Marc Kielburger
- Narrated by: Craig Kielburger, Marc Kielburger
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Abridged
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Imagine waking up every morning believing that your actions can make a significant change in the world. For everyone who has ever yearned for a better life and a better world, Craig and Marc Kielburger share a blueprint for personal and social change that has the power to transform lives, one act at a time. Me to We is an approach to life that leads us to recognize what is truly valuable.
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Moral Values for Humanity
- By Raja' on 06-14-11
By: Craig Kielburger, and others
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t
- 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness
- By: Andrea Owen
- Narrated by: Andrea Owen
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t is a straight-shooting self-improvement guide for women, one that offers frank advice about the most common self-destructive behaviors women engage in. Andrea Owen—a nationally sought-after life coach—crystallizes what’s behind several invisible, undermining habits, from catastrophizing and people-pleasing to listening to the imposter complex or to one’s inner critic. Powerfully on the mark, the chapters are short and digestible, nicely bypassing weighty examinations in favor of punch points of awareness.
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A review on general behavioral patterns
- By Karen Goldsmith on 04-20-18
By: Andrea Owen
What listeners say about How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind
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- Anonymous User
- 06-10-24
Honest, real, exactly what I needed to read
Not your average self help book. Honest and real. I’m all about option 3!!!!! Please read this book to help heal your heart and grow ✨💗🪴
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- Anonymous User
- 10-15-24
phenomenal
it's hard to explain to fellow friends what is love and how to navigate the lasting good and bad feelings of it. I can't explain how well the author has articulated it. I highly recommend.
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- Missy
- 11-13-24
Reinvigorate hipe
Im a huge fan of Todds instagram and email newsletter but found this book rather blasé in comparisoon. Lots of gems and great refreshing perspectives aside from culturally predominant narratives that get regurgitated over and over again. He does make some astute points but generally takes a while to get there. I appreciate the self revelatory bits to humanize him as a therapist and contextualize his advice and recommendations. Still it felt more like a conversation with a friend about their experiences than any real concrete advise on how to navigate relationship conflict besides “communicate and keep an open mind” which can be heard on any blog or forum.
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- R. MEDINA
- 06-09-24
is Todd telling my own story?
the parallels between my husband's and my personal story to Alex and Todd's story are at points scary.
Yet, I heard the truth from Michael and forgot about the fairy tale.
now to work on myself and writing my own story
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- Jacqueline Lovett
- 08-02-24
Reliability is the best part !!
This book is a must read. I loved the entire book , it gave everything it needed to and then some.
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- Hannah O
- 06-06-24
The Car Story (Fanning Self)
I really loved this book. It gave me a lot to think about and how it’s okay to have feelings about everything. That it’s okay to talk about your fears and challenges. How to not have huge expectations but to be curious and I guess open to possibilities whatever they may be. Not be bogged down by a certain dogma that prevails with dating and relationship content. I really feel for and relate to Todd’s childhood and first long term relationship and the aftermath. I am looking forward to implementing some these lessons in my own life. Thank you
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- Laura E Anderson
- 06-09-24
Practical, helpful advice
This book goes beyond typical dating advice and challenges listeners to look at themselves, family patterns and cultural norms in an effort to be honest so that change and true and fulfilling relationships can happen.
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- Davey
- 07-10-24
Refreshingly honest
I have read countless therapy books, as a therapist myself. But what sets this book apart is the genuine vulnerability of its author. There are many talented clinicians who have offered powerful books about mental health, but very few have been brave enough to bring their own ups and downs into the conversation. In every chapter, Todd ties in the history of his family and his most significant romantic relationship, warts and all. As a reader, it gave me a sense of being less alone. His unashamed confessions modeled what I hope we can all learn to do with our life stories, telling them proudly as a testament to the vivid and colorful human condition. His perspective on the meaning of life and pain felt so true, and felt all the more strengthened by his radical honesty.
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- jacob attanasio
- 06-13-24
Honest and inspiring
I thought this was such a heartfelt story with such deep impactful Truths. Todd gives the most insightful advice based on hard traumatic lessons in his life as well as all he is has counseled and learned from. This book can be a pivotal read in your life and help transform your relationships. It gave me Hope.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-30-24
Refreshing, Relatable, and Easy
As a longtime fan of Todd's work, I found his new book to be both refreshing and incredibly helpful. His insights are relatable and often hit home, making the content easy to digest and apply to your own life. This book serves as a practical guide for your healing journey, filled with exercises and prompts that encourage self-reflection and growth. Whether you're new to self-discovery or a seasoned explorer, this book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking healing and personal transformation.
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