
Too Much
A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency
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Narrated by:
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Terri Cole MSW LCSW
About this listen
An empowering new take on codependent behavior, revealing the underlying reasons we struggle with doing it all—and the path to recovery and freedom.
Are you the person everyone comes to when they’re in a jam?
Do you regularly accommodate others’ needs and preferences?
Does it feel like chaos will ensue if you don’t handle the travel plans, divvy up the check at group dinners, sort out your friend’s latest crisis, and so on?
If these questions resonate, the odds are good that you are one of the over-giving, over-extending individuals struggling with what psychotherapist and boundary expert Terri Cole has termed high-functioning codependency (HFC).
When you hear the word codependent, you might think of the traditional enabler framework involving a hapless victim and their selfless rescuer. Terri certainly did. But after years in her therapy practice, she realized that many of her clients were presenting codependent behaviors that fell outside of the classic model.
The ironic truth with HFC is that the more capable you are the more codependency doesn’t look like codependency.
In Too Much, you’ll discover how to identify your HFC blueprint (or why you relate to others the way you do), the source of the attraction between codependents and narcissists, and how to cultivate emotional resiliency, practice real self-care, and much more.
Each chapter includes tips, self-assessments, and exercises to help you transform how you see yourself and the world, avoid relapses, and stay centered in your own experience so that you can relate to others in a healthier way.
“How you feel, what you think, what you want matters. In fact, those things need to matter to you the most,” writes Terri. “By choosing the path of healing and recovery, you are coming home to yourself.” Here is a book for making the shift “from too much to just right,” so you can live a life that’s full of authenticity, freedom, and joy.
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Critic reviews
“Too Much reveals how our deepest compulsions to help and heal others can unexpectedly lead us away from our true selves. A transformative read that offers a pathway to reclaim your personal power and emotional integrity.” —Dr. Shefali, New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Parenting Map
“This is a crash course for anyone who can do it all and suffers because of it. With masterful storytelling and expert techniques, Too Much will teach you how to stop protecting others over protecting yourself.” —Elizabeth Earnshaw, author of I Want This to Work and ’Til Stress Do Us Part
“This book is everything we need it to be—honest, sincere, and practical. Cole dismantles the misconceptions surrounding codependency, inviting readers into a judgment-free zone where shifts and breakthroughs are possible.” —Sara Kuburic, author of It’s On Me
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- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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An exuberant and insightful work of popular history of how streets got their names, houses their numbers, and what it reveals about class, race, power, and identity. When most people think about street addresses, if they think of them at all, it is in their capacity to ensure that the postman can deliver mail or a traveler won’t get lost. But street addresses were not invented to help you find your way; they were created to find you. In many parts of the world, your address can reveal your race and class.
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Simply OK
- By CJFLA on 07-18-20
By: Deirdre Mask
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You're Not Crazy - You're Codependent
- What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma or Toxic Shaming Must Know to Have Peace in Their Lives
- By: Jeanette Elisabeth Menter
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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If your life has been affected by addiction (yours or someone else's), abuse, trauma or toxic shaming, you may also be struggling with another invisible problem - codependency. Without your even being aware of the connection to the above issues, it has created additional life-long challenges such as endless guilt, anxiety, perfectionism, need to control, depression, a history of dysfunctional relationships and much more. This easy-to-understand, interactive book will reveal how codependency has sobotaged you, the lies it created in your beliefs and the truths that expose them.
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Don’t buy if you aren’t religious
- By Karla Sookie on 09-27-19
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Living an Examined Life
- By: James Hollis PhD
- Narrated by: Kevin M. Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you define “growing up?” Does it mean you achieve certain cultural benchmarks - a steady income, paying taxes, marriage, and children? Or does it mean leaving behind the expectations of others and growing into the person you were meant to be? Here acclaimed author James Hollis guides you through 21 areas for self-inquiry and growth - such as how to exorcise the ghosts of your past, when to choose meaning over happiness, how to construct a mature spirituality, and how to seize permission to be who you really are.
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Extraordinary compilation of Dr. Hollis' works
- By Joseph on 02-17-18
By: James Hollis PhD
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The New Rules of Aging Well
- A Simple Program for Immune Resilience, Strength, and Vitality
- By: Frank Lipman MD, Danielle Claro
- Narrated by: LJ Gasner
- Length: 4 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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How you age is up to you. And it’s easy to take charge. From the renowned integrative doctor Frank Lipman comes a radically simple program to reverse the symptoms we reflexively call “normal aging,” including feeling achy, stiff, sluggish, weak, and vulnerable to chronic illness. This improves not only our life span but, more importantly, our health span—our quality of life and how we feel.
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Good for a psychology 101 class, maybe
- By Sharrie DeCouto on 06-26-21
By: Frank Lipman MD, and others
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You're Doing Great!
- And Other Reasons to Stay Alive
- By: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked, and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we're not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems, and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you're doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed.
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Laughing While Walking Makes the Neighbors Think You're Crazy
- By PC737 on 07-10-20
By: Tom Papa
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In Each Other's Care
- A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them
- By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Lin Chen
- Narrated by: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Andrew Pike, Dagny Chika, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.
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I love Tatkin’s work and message.
- By Phil H on 07-04-23
By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, and others
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What You Think of Me Is None of My Business
- By: Terry Cole-Whittaker
- Narrated by: Caroline Cole
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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You have a God-given right to happiness, wealth, and success. In this dynamic book by Reverend Terry Cole-Whittaker, you’ll learn how to cast off the shackles of fear and false beliefs to discover your own inner path - the route to your inborn talents and limitless potential!
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My Personal Social Theory
- By Mary on 04-06-22
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Consider This
- Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In this spellbinding blend of memoir and insight, best-selling author Chuck Palahniuk shares stories and generous advice on what makes writing powerful and what makes for powerful writing. With advice grounded in years of careful study and a keenly observed life, Palahniuk combines practical advice and concrete examples from beloved classics, his own books, and a "kitchen-table MFA" culled from an evolving circle of beloved authors and artists, with anecdotes, postcards from the road, and much more.
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Poetic Justice
- By Dave Green on 01-20-20
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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I'm Judging You
- The Do-Better Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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With over 500,000 readers a month at her enormously popular blog, AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi is a go-to source for smart takes on pop culture. I'm Judging You is her debut book of humorous essays that dissects our cultural obsessions and calls out bad behavior in our increasingly digital, connected lives - from the importance of the newest Shonda Rhimes television drama to serious discussions of race and media representation to what to do about your fool cousin sharing casket pictures from Grandma's wake on Facebook.
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I have NEVER laughed so hard
- By Amazon Customer on 10-18-16
By: Luvvie Ajayi
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The Book of Moods
- How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life
- By: Lauren Martin
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
- By Shana Osborne on 02-23-21
By: Lauren Martin
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Biased
- Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do
- By: Jennifer L. Eberhardt PhD
- Narrated by: Jennifer L. Eberhardt PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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How do we talk about bias? How do we address racial disparities and inequities? What role do our institutions play in creating, maintaining, and magnifying those inequities? What role do we play? With a perspective that is at once scientific, investigative, and informed by personal experience, Dr. Jennifer Eberhardt offers us the language and courage we need to face one of the biggest and most troubling issues of our time. She exposes racial bias at all levels of society - in our neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and criminal justice system.
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hoped for more on why bias and how to avoid it
- By Pavan Ongole on 04-04-19
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Liberated Love
- Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire
- By: Mark Groves, Kylie McBeath
- Narrated by: Kylie McBeath, Mark Groves
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Groves and McBeath’s work—through their Create the Love seminars, workbooks, and consultation programs—have educated a new generation of relationship seekers on the best ways to practice and cultivate love. In Liberated Love, you’ll explore your original relationship blueprint and learn how it informs your current relationships (spoiler alert: it’s often a pretty direct line), and discover how limitation can be the key to finding freedom and experiencing full, fully-realized love with another person.
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Thank you
- By Anonymous User on 07-03-24
By: Mark Groves, and others
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Learning to Love Midlife
- 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age
- By: Chip Conley
- Narrated by: Chip Conley
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The midlife crisis is the butt of so many jokes, but this long-derided life stage has an upside. What if we could reframe our thinking about the natural transition of midlife not as a crisis, but as a chrysalis—a time when something profound awakens in us, as we shed our skin, spread our wings, and pollinate our wisdom? In Learning to Love Midlife, Chip Conley offers an alternative narrative to the way we commonly think of our 40s, 50s and 60s. Drawing on the latest social science research, inspiring stories, and timeless wisdom, he reveals 12 reasons why life gets better with age.
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Too much bad language.
- By Michael Murphey on 01-22-24
By: Chip Conley
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The Wise Heart
- A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology
- By: Jack Kornfield
- Narrated by: Jack Kornfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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You have within you an unlimited capacity for extraordinary love, for joy, for communion with life, and for unshakable freedom - and here is how to awaken it. In The Wise Heart, celebrated author and psychologist Jack Kornfield offers an accessible, comprehensive, and illuminating guide to the universal teachings of Buddhist psychology. He shows you how to use powerful Buddhist insights and practices to go beyond the trap of "self-improvement".
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Awesome!
- By Nik LaCroix on 05-01-15
By: Jack Kornfield
What listeners say about Too Much
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- David H.
- 02-01-25
written only for women
only half of the story. good concepts that are not overly new. see Heri Scazzerro's Emotionally Healthy Woman. even uses the terms from the book "over functioning", "stop doing for things for others that they themselves can and should do for themselves." this book is far better laid out amd edited, but will miss how those who are faithful get an additional layer of pressure to hfc due to modesty, sacrifice, peacemaking, etc.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-21-24
This is me to a T
I heard this author on a podcast and I was so blown away I bought this book before the podcast was over. I’d never even heard of HFC’s before and I had to stop right where I was and hear EVERYTHING she knew about this. Even before finishing the book I’ve recommended it to several friends. I will take these lessons with me through the rest of my life. I’ve started making and enforcing boundaries already and I love it. Truly amazing book!!!!
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- A. Padilla
- 03-16-25
Found relevance in my obesity mindset
I really appreciate the exercises & resources found in the book. I highly recommend this book especially if you deal with people that may exhibit narcissistic behaviors.
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- Joe
- 10-31-24
Therapist recommended!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
As an LCSW in private practice, listening to Too Much by Terri Cole felt like getting the friendliest slap on the wrist ever. Professionally called out? Check. Past mistakes in codependency coming back to haunt me? Absolutely. I could practically feel Terri leaning over my shoulder, gently nudging, “Hey, remember that time you put your safety (and maybe others’) at risk just because saying ‘no’ felt…awkward?” Yeah, same.
The clients she describes mirror so many of my own, and now I’m over here recommending Terri Cole like I’m her unofficial apprentice. (Honestly, at this point, I might as well apply for that role.) Her down-to-earth approach normalizes and validates everything that feels complicated and overwhelming, creating this incredible foundation for inner healing. I’ve even been using her online resources with my clients, and they love her practical wisdom just as much as I do.
If you’re a therapist or anyone who’s ever caught yourself in the “people-pleasing Olympics,” grab this book. It’s insightful, validating, and might just make you laugh (or wince) at how much you recognize yourself in these pages. Thanks, Terri, for the reminder that saying “no” can actually be a very kind “yes” to ourselves.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-20-24
Love Terri!
Terri has been an essential contributor to my recovery. Thank you for this great work.
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- Placeholder
- 12-01-24
Boring. Nothing new. Little depth.
I thought this would be insightful but it wasn't. Couldn't finish it, as I got tired of waiting for content I hadn't heard before.
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- Reviewer Z
- 12-13-24
is this a memoir on a privileged life?
this material was not helpful in my recovery. a different perspective on codependency but seemed overly self indulgent
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1 person found this helpful