Preview
  • If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?

  • A Parody for Adults
  • By: Marcy Roznick
  • Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
  • Length: 2 mins
  • 3.3 out of 5 stars (161 ratings)

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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?

By: Marcy Roznick
Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
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Publisher's summary

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.

What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan Audio
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What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

a poor man's "go the f&$@ to sleep"

not nearly as good. if you can get Go the F&#$ to Sleep, get that instead. the only good part was Bobcats performance.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

If you must listen to poetry.

Good for the price. ( free ) The first minuet held my attention. Not so much the second minuet.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Awesome

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I loved it and it gave me a laugh!

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

It ended as expected but the humour through out kept you thinking and on your toes!

Do you think If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

Why not...a little humour never hurt when it comes to kids and parenting!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

lol

A little short but what do you expect for about a buck.

Still I thought it was funny.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Reminds me of my ex husband

I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

It was okay for what it was

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Off Color Humor

Ok, this is probably funnier to me than it should be, but I am a teacher and have seen every form of: If you give a ..., book. When I downloaded this, I didn't know if it would actually cuss or just bleep out the cuss words, be forewarned that it does actually cuss. If you are offended by the f--- word, do not download this. But if you are not, it is definitely good for a chuckle, especially if you have some background with the books that it is a parody.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Not The Best

I thought Bobcat Goldthwait did a good job with not the best of story. I'm very familiar with the kid's cookie books, and I see what the author was trying to do, but it just didn't come off very good. If it wasn't for Bobcat's narration it would have been horrible.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Ok - ISH

I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

decent.

it was amusing but not as good as Go The F*** To Sleep or You Have to F***ing Eat. For the price though it was well worth it. got a solid laugh

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