If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
A Parody for Adults
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Narrated by:
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Bobcat Goldthwait
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By:
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Marcy Roznick
About this listen
Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.
©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Missa
- 12-13-14
a poor man's "go the f&$@ to sleep"
not nearly as good. if you can get Go the F&#$ to Sleep, get that instead. the only good part was Bobcats performance.
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- Paul.
- 01-02-12
If you must listen to poetry.
Good for the price. ( free ) The first minuet held my attention. Not so much the second minuet.
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- Lisa
- 10-05-12
Awesome
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I loved it and it gave me a laugh!
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
It ended as expected but the humour through out kept you thinking and on your toes!
Do you think If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
Why not...a little humour never hurt when it comes to kids and parenting!
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- Justin houser
- 12-16-15
lol
A little short but what do you expect for about a buck.
Still I thought it was funny.
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- Foxymoron
- 12-24-15
Reminds me of my ex husband
I believe the story was loosely based on actual incident that my ex husband has done. I am the ex wife that handed him divorce papers as I bailed him out. Bobcat did an excellent job narrating this incident and its full glorious splendor. A great bedtime story for children that can serve as a warning for what may happen. So never snitch on your Pops kids.
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3 people found this helpful
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- KAREN
- 04-09-12
It was okay for what it was
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tracey
- 03-04-13
Off Color Humor
Ok, this is probably funnier to me than it should be, but I am a teacher and have seen every form of: If you give a ..., book. When I downloaded this, I didn't know if it would actually cuss or just bleep out the cuss words, be forewarned that it does actually cuss. If you are offended by the f--- word, do not download this. But if you are not, it is definitely good for a chuckle, especially if you have some background with the books that it is a parody.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Brian
- 11-03-15
Not The Best
I thought Bobcat Goldthwait did a good job with not the best of story. I'm very familiar with the kid's cookie books, and I see what the author was trying to do, but it just didn't come off very good. If it wasn't for Bobcat's narration it would have been horrible.
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- Ellington
- 12-17-14
Ok - ISH
I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Juillet Pércival
- 01-05-15
decent.
it was amusing but not as good as Go The F*** To Sleep or You Have to F***ing Eat. For the price though it was well worth it. got a solid laugh
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