More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
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About this listen
2020 Audie Award, Humor
Nick Offerman and his posse of high-profile guests present this series of 12 short stories written in the style of classic kid’s tales, but with a decidedly adult approach.
If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. That’s where Offerman and Co. come in—with clever and occasionally downright dark parodies of the classic kids genre. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. A middle-aged man is haunted by the voices of his own aging body. The stories will make you laugh, cry and probably squirm a little.
Performers include: Patrick Stewart, Alia Shawkat, Jane Lynch, Aparna Nancherla, Harry Goaz, Mike Birbiglia, Ellen Page, Rachel Dratch, Gary Anthony Williams, Nicole Byer, and Matt Walsh.
Please note that this audiobook contains explicit content.
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Our favorite moments from More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
About the Host
Best known as the indomitable Ron Swanson in the popular NBC television series Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman is an uncommon quadruple threat: carpenter, comedian, actor, and author. Offerman first hit the New York Times bestseller list with the release of his semi-autobiographical work Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living, and followed it up with the best-selling Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America’s Gutsiest Troublemakers and Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop. Offerman co-wrote and co-narrated the Audie Award winning audiobook The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History with his wife Megan Mullally. Currently he keeps busy producing and hosting a lighthearted crafting competition, Making It, alongside Amy Poehler for NBC.
About the Performer
Patrick Stewart is one of the most acclaimed performers working today, with numerous and varied roles on both the stage and screens big and small. He has been awarded multiple Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, Emmy, and Tony nominations for his work. Stewart was nominated for a Critics’ Choice Award for his performance in James Mangold’s Logan opposite Hugh Jackman. In addition to starring on the Starz comedy Blunt Talk as lead actor Walter Blunt, he also starred opposite Anton Yelchin in Jeremy Saulnier’s genre film Green Room which went to the Cannes Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. On Broadway and West End stages, Patrick has also appeared in A Life in the Theatre, The Master Builder, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, and The Tempest. For his acclaimed solo production of A Christmas Carol, Stewart played over 40 characters, garnering an Olivier, Drama Desk, and WhatsOnStage Award.
About the Performer
Academy Award-winning actress and director Anjelica Huston continues her renowned family’s legacy in film. Throughout her career, Huston has received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as Maerose Prizzi in the black comedy Prizzi’s Honor, in which she starred opposite Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner. In 2005, Huston received a Golden Globe Award for her role in HBO’s original movie Iron Jawed Angels, in which she starred opposite Hilary Swank and Julia Ormond. Her directorial debut was an unflinching adaptation of Dorothy Allison’s best-selling memoir, Bastard Out of Carolina, which garnered Huston critical acclaim. She received an Emmy Award nomination for her work on the controversial drama, as well as a Directors Guild Award nomination. Huston is also a New York Times best-selling author. Her memoir A Story Lately Told: Coming of Age in Ireland, London, and New York was published in November 2013.
About the Performer
Aparna started out doing comedy in her hometown of Washington DC and now resides in New York City. She is a series regular in Comedy Central’s Corporate and has reprised her role of Anaya in season 3 of HBO’s Crashing. Aparna is also featured in the second season of Netflix’s The Standups. Other television credits include Netflix’s Master of None and Love, HBO’s High Maintenance, Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, and Hulu’s I Love You, America with Sarah Silverman. In 2018 she made her feature debut in the Paul Feig movie A Simple Favor. Aparna has been featured on and in NPR, Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post Magazine, XM Radio, and Slate V. She can regularly be seen performing at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade’s in LA and NYC. Her debut album Just Putting It Out There was released in July 2016 by Tig Notaro’s label Bentzen Ball Records and hit #4 on the Billboard Comedy Charts. Her TV writing credits include Late Night with Seth Meyers as well as being a regular correspondent/writer on FX’s Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell.
About the Performer
Alia Shawkat stars in the Jax Media produced TBS series Search Party which she also produces. She can be seen in Comedy Central’s Broad City, HBO’s Getting On, Amazon's Transparent, and in her best known role as Maeby Fünke in the cult series Arrested Development. Shawkat also starred in Sophie Hyde’s Animals opposite Holliday Grainger which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. She can be seen in Ethan Hawke’s film Blaze, in the thriller Green Room, and in the Paul Reubens and Judd Apatow Netflix feature Pee-wee’s Big Holiday. Alia's other feature credits include Paint It Black, Nasty Baby, Wild Canaries, Night Moves, The To Do List, The Final Girls, Me Him Her, The Driftless Area, 20th Century Women, and Izzy Gets the F Across Town. Shawkat also lent her voice to the Gimlet scripted podcast Sandra
opposite Kristen Wiig and Ethan Hawke. In addition to acting, Alia is a talented jazz singer, pianist, and an accomplished painter and illustrator.
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- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
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Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
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Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
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The Answer Is No
- A Short Story
- By: Fredrik Backman, Elizabeth DeNoma - translator
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone? Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.
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Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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Ugh - hated it
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Not sure if I like or not.
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Ugh - hated it
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In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.
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I LOVE YOU JOHN CENA!
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1) Excellent performance; 2) But why the F-bombs?
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Mark Twain meets Bertie Wooster
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Boy (Tim Heidecker) is a dog who is tired of being held back by humans. When he wakes one morning to find his owner dead, he assumes there’s no one left to stop him from achieving his goal of being a wild and majestic wolf. Unfortunately, he’s about to meet Rebecca (Patti Harrison), a lifelong slacker who is out to prove to her roommates (Poppy Liu and Danny Pudi) that she’s not a total loser by getting a job as a dog walker for a start-up called Bow-Now.
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Great Original Concept
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Gumption
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The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
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Swagger and mirth
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
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By: Nick Offerman
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The Zeta Family
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Set on a large ranch in rural upstate New York, it’s early days for the eccentric group of people who call themselves "The Zeta Family" - quite possibly the next big cult phenomenon. Our protagonist, Katie, is an aspiring reporter who has decided to infiltrate the compound, and her future success as a journalist depends entirely on her ability to win the confidence of Zeta Doug, the likable spiritual leader of the group. He’s like a cross between Hunter S. Thompson and George R. R. Martin, with a little too much sci-fi in his head and acid in his blood stream.
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Really enjoyable
- By [Redacted] on 01-18-20
By: Gretchen Enders
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Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze
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- Narrated by: Ana Gasteyer, Maya Rudolph, Patti LuPone, and others
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Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze is a music-filled holiday comedy starring Ana Gasteyer and Maya Rudolph, with a jolly cast including Patti LuPone, Rachel Dratch, and Richard Kind. In this heartwarming story of love and friendship, we follow the journey of “Sugar” and “Booze” as they go from inseparable college buddies to busy working moms who mostly keep in touch with each other, and their close friends and family, through annual holiday letters.
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Fun and easy listen
- By MARIE on 12-07-19
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Carnival Row: Tangle in the Dark
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Story
Tourmaline Larou lives an idyllic life of learning by day and partying by night. An aspiring poet, her future promises nothing less than brilliance. Then, Vignette Stonemoss walks through the door, and Tourmaline’s world is upended. As she struggles to understand the effect this stranger has on her, Tourmaline and her fellow fae face a looming threat from the human world. War is on the horizon, and their very existence is at stake. And Tourmaline will discover whether love will save her - or destroy her.
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Lesbian Fae Poetry meanderings
- By Ed Pegg Jr on 10-04-19
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Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
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A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
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By far his worst work to date.
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What listeners say about More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kanga Mom
- 05-03-19
Quirky and Enjoyable
Excellent production of stories in the same vein as "A Boy and His Dog". LOVED the high quality of narrators. Could there EVER be a better voice than Anjelica Huston? There's truth in the stories, too: Rage is the cause of all real and lasting change!
This audiobook is short enough to make a long drive more bearable, or play the stories a few at a time for commute listening.
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14 people found this helpful
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- Bella
- 05-07-19
The stories were really fun !
I had a great time listening to these stories. They were hilarious. I would recommend this book to everyone not only cynics.
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8 people found this helpful
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- VeraLupe
- 05-06-19
Funny!
This is a very entertaining compilation. Can be considered a bit grim for some but just the right amount of amusing for some others. I loved it!
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8 people found this helpful
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- Kiera Fox
- 05-08-19
My Favorite was Nick Offerman's Intro to the Dog
Great fun!
Then stories took weird turns and twists that were captivating and made walking my dog even more FUN!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Luiso
- 05-15-19
I thoroughly enjoyed this book
I definitely recommend this book: both entertaining and fun. Please keep away from children ages 35 and under 😋
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3 people found this helpful
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- Andy S
- 05-10-19
AMAZING!
The narration was more like voice acting. The sound effects made it so immersive. the stories were hilarious and relaxing at the same time. If i could, I would show this to everyone I know. good to listen to during the day and when going to sleep.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Antony
- 05-07-19
great performance
The narators brought the short stories to live and made the imagery very real and exciting
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2 people found this helpful
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- moosky moscovith
- 05-31-19
This is the best book ever!
This may really be the best thing I have heard on Audible, no scratch that, the best thing I have ever heard PERIOD! The book consists several stories narrated by different famous cynics, with presentations and interludes to each story by the one and only, Ron Swanson! (Ron keeps calling himself Nick Offerman for some reason, but he can't fool me). The stories themselves are all cynical and realistic takes on famous children fantasy stories, or some original thoughts and feeling someone wrote.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-21-19
Very funny and entertaining
super entertaining, great performances ..I never found a boring story while listening to this audio book
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2 people found this helpful
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- Daniel Cheshire
- 05-11-19
Nick Offerman is a national treasure.
This was a fun listen... lots of talent reading some sometimes shocking stories. Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’ve got a taste for the irreverent the I think it’s worth your time.
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2 people found this helpful