Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to Audible® listeners.

Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Who better to write a very humorous manual about evolving modern relationship than two CollegeHumor veterans and viral-video stars who happen to be a real-life husband-and-wife team? With candor, bite, and charm, HEY, U UP? takes readers on an eight-chapter journey through the trials of hooking up to the foibles of marriage, and combines the authors' prescriptive advice with the unfolding story of their own relationship. HEY, U UP? tackles all the milestones of relationships today - both glorious and embarrassing.

Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.

The only lie told more often than "no, that looks totally cute on you" and "I got AIDS through oral" is "it gets better". Well, a lotta times it don't. Sometimes it just sucks less. But I promise you: Where there's a Willam, there's a way. But this isn't all about me (for once). It's about you and how you can suck less at a variety of things drag queens are so much better at than the average person.

One year after being hospitalized for a life-changing illness, Vivian is finally ready to get back into dating. Things are definitely looking up when a beautiful woman named Shari asks her out for drinks - and possibly more. Too bad the night turns whisky-sour when Shari not only rejects Vivian, but confirms her most self-conscious fears! Enter Kat the bartender, who has seen this train wreck of a date with her own observant eyes. It's not the first time Shari has destroyed a woman's self-confidence in one night, but it is the first time Kat has decided to personally cheer up a victim.

For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home. Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her - things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."

What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."

After a year of a seemingly happily-ever-after, Troy Babilonia throws a curve ball that smacks Larson Blackburn right in the head. When Troy's debut novel, Bridge to Lonely, threatens to overshadow Larson's own success, inviting a past shadow into the light of their present, the two alphas must learn to adjust.

Chloe is on the wrong side of her quarter-life crisis. Dead-end job, lease ending, and single AF. It’s made all the harder by knowing exactly who the perfect man for her is: her super hot, incredibly kind, and extremely taken friend Austin. What’s a girl to do but drown her troubles in pinot and let her bestie open her an account on a dating app? If there are other perfect men out there, she’s determined to find them.

Sometimes, the hardest part of finding love is keeping a straight face...For Jamie Newman, being a single guy isn't proving to be much fun, especially when confronted with a sexually belligerent divorcee and a goddess so far out of his league she might as well be a different species.

Getting in cabs, going to work, taking a shower... These routine activities are a lot harder to do with a catheter in my Little Richard. Why? Well, I tore two muscles in my beloved rooster and severed my urethra having casual sex. This is the funny/not-so-funny story of the accident, the recovery, and all the blood, pain, love, and philosophy in between. A score of people helped me pee, including my mother, as I shuffled around New York City tethered to a urination tube for a month.

Wannabe actress Dani Steele's résumé resembles a cautionary tale on how not to be famous. She's pushing thirty and stuck in a dead-end insurance job, and her relationship status is holding at uncommitted. With unbearably perfect sisters and a mother who won't let her forget it, Dani has two go-tos for consolation: maple scones and a blog in which she pours her heart out to her celebrity idol. He's the man her father never was, no boyfriend will ever be - and not so impossible a dream as one might think.

When it comes to insult comics, Bianca Del Rio is in a class by herself. Fierce, funny, and fabulous - a would-be love child sired by John Waters and birthed by Joan Rivers - Bianca sandblasted her name in the annals of pop culture on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Thanks to her snarky frankness, impeccable comedic timing, and politically incorrect humor, she became the show’s breakout star, winning its sixth season. In Blame It on Bianca Del Rio, Bianca shares her opinions loudly and proudly, offering raucous, hilarious, no-holds-barred commentary on annoyances, big and small.

Most dating books are written for women - what a mistake that is. Women know how to date....It's men who need the help! At last: a blithe, bold, and bawdy guide to building a better boyfriend.

When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.

Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.

In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.

Fresh off a divorce from a Hollywood hotshot, Madison Atwood needs an escape. With the paparazzi fresh on her heels and her love life splashed on every tabloid, she runs away to a swanky retreat in Northern California. Avalon Springs is the mountainside haven she needs to find herself again. Luke Dawson lives off the grid, preferring solitude to society. When he finds a beautiful woman soaking in the hot springs on his property, he can't stop himself from watching her. She captures his attention, but she's just a city girl - a beautiful distraction disturbing the peace.

The story's four whip-smart narrators - idealistic Cory, Internet-lurking Will, awkward Henrik, and vicious Linda - are torn between fixing the world and cannibalizing it. In boisterous prose that ricochets between humor and pain, the four estranged friends stagger through the Bay Area's maze of tech startups, protestors, gentrifiers, karaoke bars, house parties, and cultish self-help seminars, washing up in each other's lives once again.

Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.

I knew from the first time I saw Marc Kirby that I was screwed. Big eyes, scruffy face, brown curls - yes, yes, and yes. The man is wicked hot. He's also my roommate, and since I work nights and he's at class all day - it's like living alone at half the rent. Then an unexpected night off turns into an unexpected morning in Marc's bed, but it turns out we can't even figure out the screwing.

Beau Emerson is no gentleman. Those hazel eyes. That filthy mouth. That greedy, hard body. It all equates to one thing. Irresistible. One look and I know he'll bruise my lips and scar my knees. He'll give me the best nine days of my life while ruining me in the most beautiful way imaginable. And I'll let him, because he has the power to talk me into anything. Except one thing. Staying. I have no choice. The things I desire from him will destroy me in the end.

Zoe Hart owns the coffee shop in one of the hottest upscale resorts in Florida, which is run by her childhood best friend, Dylan Jackson. Even though Dylan is a workaholic, he still finds time to enjoy the beautiful women who pass through his hotel - all of them except Zoe. She has been in love with Dylan for years without him noticing. But with her 30th birthday fast approaching, she realizes she can't keep pining away for a man who doesn't show the merest sign of romantic interest in her.

Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.

For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.

When Fig Coxbury buys a house on West Barrett Street, it's not because she likes the neighborhood, or even because she likes the house. It's because everything she desires is next door: the husband, the child, and the life that belongs to someone else.

With a famous NHL player for a stepbrother, Violet Hall is well acquainted with the playboy reputation of many a hockey star. So of course she isn't interested in legendary team captain Alex Waters or his pretty, beat-up face and rock-hard six-pack abs. But when Alex inadvertently obliterates Violet's misapprehension regarding the inferior intellect of hockey players, he becomes much more than just a hot body with the face to match.

He was my dad's best friend - and my first crush. Falling for him was bad. Flirting with him and trying to get in his pants the night of my 21st birthday party was definitely worse. But can you blame me? I hadn't seen the guy in years and he comes back looking hotter than ever. Our fling shouldn't have even begun but now that it has, I don't want it to stop. I'm crazy for this guy - and he's obsessed with me. Too bad my father will kill him if he finds out. So we can't tell him. We just have to keep it secret. Right? That might have worked...until he got me pregnant.

Julie Greene loves flings. Loves steamy first dates, sizzling first kisses, and every now and then, that first sexy romp between the sheets. Comfy pants, sleepy Sundays, movie nights on the couch? Shudder. But when Julie gets assigned the hardest story of her career - a first-person account of that magical shift between dating and "I do" (she'll need a man brave enough to give a total commitment-phobe a chance at more.