Comedian Jim Norton is dirty...really dirty...the kind of dirty that makes The Aristocrats look like a knock-knock joke. Fortunately for him, his kind of dirty humor has earned him the distinction of being third microphone on the immensely popular Opie & Anthony syndicated radio show. In Happy Endings, Jim brings his raw, hilarious, and offensively honest comedy to Audible® listeners.

Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.

In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Who better to write a very humorous manual about evolving modern relationship than two CollegeHumor veterans and viral-video stars who happen to be a real-life husband-and-wife team? With candor, bite, and charm, HEY, U UP? takes readers on an eight-chapter journey through the trials of hooking up to the foibles of marriage, and combines the authors' prescriptive advice with the unfolding story of their own relationship. HEY, U UP? tackles all the milestones of relationships today - both glorious and embarrassing.

Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.

The only lie told more often than "no, that looks totally cute on you" and "I got AIDS through oral" is "it gets better". Well, a lotta times it don't. Sometimes it just sucks less. But I promise you: Where there's a Willam, there's a way. But this isn't all about me (for once). It's about you and how you can suck less at a variety of things drag queens are so much better at than the average person.

One year after being hospitalized for a life-changing illness, Vivian is finally ready to get back into dating. Things are definitely looking up when a beautiful woman named Shari asks her out for drinks - and possibly more. Too bad the night turns whisky-sour when Shari not only rejects Vivian, but confirms her most self-conscious fears! Enter Kat the bartender, who has seen this train wreck of a date with her own observant eyes. It's not the first time Shari has destroyed a woman's self-confidence in one night, but it is the first time Kat has decided to personally cheer up a victim.

For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home. Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her - things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."

What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."

I've never met a woman I couldn't love - for one night. I'm the bad boy, the player, the sexy heartbreaker you meet in a bar and take home. And after my last hellish tour of duty as a SEAL, sun, sand, and sex are my new mission in life. Happily ever after? Pass. I'll give you the best 12 hours of your life, and then I'm gone because why settle down when playing the field is so fun? All that changes when I meet Valentina Fuentes.

Sometimes, the hardest part of finding love is keeping a straight face...For Jamie Newman, being a single guy isn't proving to be much fun, especially when confronted with a sexually belligerent divorcee and a goddess so far out of his league she might as well be a different species.

Getting in cabs, going to work, taking a shower... These routine activities are a lot harder to do with a catheter in my Little Richard. Why? Well, I tore two muscles in my beloved rooster and severed my urethra having casual sex. This is the funny/not-so-funny story of the accident, the recovery, and all the blood, pain, love, and philosophy in between. A score of people helped me pee, including my mother, as I shuffled around New York City tethered to a urination tube for a month.

Wannabe actress Dani Steele's résumé resembles a cautionary tale on how not to be famous. She's pushing thirty and stuck in a dead-end insurance job, and her relationship status is holding at uncommitted. With unbearably perfect sisters and a mother who won't let her forget it, Dani has two go-tos for consolation: maple scones and a blog in which she pours her heart out to her celebrity idol. He's the man her father never was, no boyfriend will ever be - and not so impossible a dream as one might think.

When it comes to insult comics, Bianca Del Rio is in a class by herself. Fierce, funny, and fabulous - a would-be love child sired by John Waters and birthed by Joan Rivers - Bianca sandblasted her name in the annals of pop culture on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Thanks to her snarky frankness, impeccable comedic timing, and politically incorrect humor, she became the show’s breakout star, winning its sixth season. In Blame It on Bianca Del Rio, Bianca shares her opinions loudly and proudly, offering raucous, hilarious, no-holds-barred commentary on annoyances, big and small.

I hate sports, and he is football royalty. I like quiet and predictable, but he's sex and swagger personified. I didn't particularly care for Saint Stevenson the first moment I laid eyes on him, but his warped brain seemed to process our initial meeting as foreplay. I have a meticulous five-year plan in place for myself and my career, but now this huge, cocky, self-absorbed quarterback who I've been assigned to at work is seriously f--king it up.