When Good People Have Affairs
Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Callie Beaulieu
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By:
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Mira Kirshenbaum
About this listen
A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means. (Is it a "see-if" affair? Ejector-seat affair? Distraction affair? Unmet-needs affair? Panic affair?) Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as:
- What am I missing in my marriage?
- How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange?
- How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both?
When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
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The Conversation
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
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Loved it!
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The Wait Caused Me To Change
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Loved this, really impressed by Kailyn amazing job
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
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The Breakup Bible
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
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People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys
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You don't have to be controlled by difficult people! Strange as it may seem, other people are not nearly as committed to our happiness as we are. In fact, sometimes it seems like they’re on a mission to make us miserable! There’s always that one person. The one who hijacks our emotions. The one who seems to thrive on drama. If we could just “fix” that person, everything would be better. But we can’t fix other people. We can only make choices about ourselves.
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Riddles With Religious Overtones
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Loving People
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
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for betrayed women - not men!
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Very Helpful
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Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
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Very anti-forgiveness
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Getting Past the Affair
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AudioBook needs PDF file
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By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, and others
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After the Affair
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Many times infidelity is the death of a relationship - but an affair doesn't have to mean the end. Realistic ways of coping with pain, restoring self-esteem, and rebuilding trust and intimacy are available for the first time on audio in this guide by Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring. Dr. Spring is one of the few clinical psychologists in the US who specializes in infidelity. She offers original and proven strategies to those seeking guidance, sympathy, and solutions, laying to rest blame and recrimination and focusing instead on recovery.
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OW vs. Lover
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Imagine the pain and devastation of discovering your partner has had an affair. The betrayal, the hurt, and the feeling of being torn apart from the person you once loved. You may feel like your world has been turned upside down, leaving you wondering if your relationship can ever be healed. But what if there was a way to mend the wounds and rebuild trust? This groundbreaking book reveals the secrets to healing your spouse after an affair, from understanding their perspective to providing the necessary support.
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Disappointed
- By Gabrielle LaGrandier on 05-26-24
By: Laura Redmond
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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
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To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.
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Gives you much to think about
- By Nadia on 06-07-10
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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After the Affair, Third Edition
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Overall
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Performance
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From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
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Victim blaming!! Stay away
- By OO on 08-24-23
By: Janis A. Spring
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Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New
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- By: Cindy Beall
- Narrated by: Laura Copland
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Performance
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You've made a commitment to see your marriage healed, so now what? Whether your relationship is recovering from an affair, pornography addiction, or just years of coasting, Cindy Beall shares from her redeemed-marriage journey to help you heal deeply by restoring faith in a future, build wisely from the foundation up, invest generously in your marriage and in other people, and much more.
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Wisdom, hope, and strength providing
- By Christopher on 06-19-18
By: Cindy Beall
What listeners say about When Good People Have Affairs
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-17-24
Excellent
Unbiased deep dive into the psychology of why this happens is flawlessly written. Guidance for the right path from all angles is clearly defined and how to find what is right for you and/or your children.
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- Luna Bae
- 08-13-19
must read!
both perspective sides are defended and not just a one sided blaming kind of book which makes it amazing.
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3 people found this helpful
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- MARLENNE
- 07-10-21
Amazingly good
The title may throw you off at first but I advise you keep on listening. I look at infidelity very much differently now.
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1 person found this helpful
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- connie cianni
- 10-12-22
Loved it!
Great book,
so much truth, great read especially for people that still live in the past.
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- MAE
- 09-10-18
Action-oriented Book
This is the best relationship book that I've read, hands-down. Useful for explaining so much more than just the basics of affairs. If you want non-judgmental, sound analysis of behaviors and what next steps to take, listen/read this book. Quality, worth every penny!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 11-04-21
Incredible.
This book was incredibly powerful, thorough, so helpful, and so real. I appreciate it so very much!!!
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- Chelsey L Williams
- 06-15-20
Helpful
I found this book helpful. Whether you’re in an affair or have thoughts of being in an affair, this book provides perspective for the person committing the affair. I would recommend.
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2 people found this helpful
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- BrownGuy78
- 03-02-19
Life's lessons
This is a re-read of this book and my 2nd time going over it again to go back over some things that I'm missed but I think it's a very good sound advice and good strategy for how to handle a messy situation of adultery and some of it you can 100% of agree with u but others you gotta fall back into at least a 80% . I don't agree with her philosophy "on keeping an affair a secret to not cause pain". spoiler alert. But, worth the effort.
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- heather esg dalton
- 04-07-24
Helpful also for the secondary person
Good insight and helpful advice for ANYONE trying to discern if someone is a quality long term match or … not. Author isn’t immediately condemning, which allows the listener to hear sound advice and make healthy choices
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- Dr. Caroline Madden
- 06-07-19
How to Decide btwn your spouse and affair partner
I am a Marriage Family Therapist who specializes in helping marriages recover after affairs. I *highly* recommend this book to individuals who are struggling with the decision on whether or not to leave their spouse for their affair partner.
If you are deciding whether to leave your spouse for your affair partner this book is a MUST READ. Download it RIGHT NOW and prioritize reading it. The book sets out specific criteria for this important decision. If you follow the steps I believe that you will have resolution whether or not you should stay or go.
The title is a bit misleading. If you are the Betrayed Spouse this book will probably upset you because it explains how difficult it is for your spouse to chose you. If you are searching why your spouse cheated on you----find another book.
My one criticism is that it doesn't go into the long term damage that leaving your spouse for the person you cheated on will effect your children. It is not smooth sailing. Just because you are finally happy doesn't mean that your kids will be. It will be viewed that new partner "broke up the family" no matter how broken the marriage was before.
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8 people found this helpful