
Out of the Doghouse
A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating
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Narrated by:
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Timothy Andrés Pabon
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By:
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Robert Weiss
About this listen
It's all about cheating - the biggest threat to intimacy. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity.
Robert Weiss has spent over 20 years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues. He's helped both cheating men and their betrayed spouses move through the horrors of infidelity. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas of infidelity. However, these actions do nothing to re-establish intimacy and trust - the key components to help the distraught woman feel better about her relationship over the long-term and get over the cheating.
The simple truth is, men and women are very different when it comes to intimacy and relationships. While men are able to compartmentalize things like sexual infidelity, women typically view cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think, "If he is lying to me about sex, he's probably lying to me about everything." For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. And without proper guidance, men have little hope of restoring it. Weiss provides exactly the needed guidance in Out of the Doghouse, helping men move past the usual infidelity roadblocks that result from cheating in ways that will not only save a damaged relationship, but restore intimacy to make it better than ever.
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- Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal
- By: Carol Juergensen Sheets
- Narrated by: Carol Juergensen Sheets
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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An empathy workbook and wonderful companion to Carol's best-selling Help. Her. Heal. This workbook is for couples to help them heal their relationship following sexual betrayal.
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Great Book for Couples
- By Estabook's on 07-09-23
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Not 'Just Friends'
- Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
- By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., Jean Coppock Staeheli
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
- By K on 02-04-17
By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., and others
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Worthy of Her Trust
- What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
- By: Stephen Arterburn, Jason B. Martinkus
- Narrated by: Tom Parks, Kate Rudd
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it's possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools to help your marriage begin again.
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Best Book on Building Trust
- By Layne & Rylan on 03-05-15
By: Stephen Arterburn, and others
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Recovering from the Affair
- Your Guide to Saving Your Marriage After Emotional or Physical Infidelity
- By: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Narrated by: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Infidelity does not have to be the end of your marriage. Your marriage can recover and thrive after an affair. But only when you get to the roots of the problem, solve the issues, rebuild trust, and learn to move forward.
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Chapter 5 Tells the Cheater Not to Confess
- By TIKI on 04-07-25
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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life
- The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
- By: Tracy Schorn
- Narrated by: Laura Copland
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs.
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If you have had multiple D-Days BUY this book now
- By Dr. Caroline Madden on 06-07-19
By: Tracy Schorn
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Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)
- A Guide for Your Journey Through the Transformational Fires of Love & Intimacy
- By: Bryan Reeves
- Narrated by: Bryan Reeves
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Most men are clueless around how to do intimate relationships well. Most women don’t know much better. That was Bryan’s story for decades. At 36, in the midst of yet another agonizing breakup, Bryan had a painful epiphany: he had no idea what women wanted from him and no idea what he actually wanted from a woman, either. Despite earning a Masters Degree in Human Relations and succeeding professionally as a Captain in the U.S. Air Force, no one had ever taught him the essential skills for creating fulfilling intimacy that endures.
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Slightly Wierd
- By Jonathan Lambright on 03-24-25
By: Bryan Reeves
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Rebuilding Trust
- Guided Therapy Techniques and Activities to Restore Love, Trust, and Intimacy in Your Relationship
- By: Morgan Johnson MA LPC, Gina Senarighi PhD CPC - foreword
- Narrated by: Ann Sprinkle
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Of all the ways relationships fall apart, betrayal can rock us to the core. And yet, for couples or partners who want to stay together and do the work, healing is possible. The old relationships that no longer serve us can be dismantled and reassembled into deeper, stronger, more satisfying bonds than we ever imagined.
By: Morgan Johnson MA LPC, and others
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After a Good Man Cheats
- How to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy with Your Wife
- By: Caroline Madden PhD
- Narrated by: Cathi Colas
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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This audiobook is a practical action plan that will walk you through the first stages after your wife has discovered your infidelity. Learn the tools to fix your marriage. Avoid the (sometimes fatal) mistakes I've seen so many men make.
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Horrible, but with some helpful information
- By A reader on 10-15-21
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Questions to Ask a Cheater
- Questions to Ask a Cheating Spouse to Gain Closure and Heal Your Heart
- By: Rebekah Clarke
- Narrated by: Clare Radix
- Length: 1 hr and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Talking to your partner after they’ve cheated is undeniably one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with them. You’ll be bubbling over with a ton of emotions - anger, upset, and frustration. The cheating partner will also have their own emotions to deal with - dread, uncertainty, and the shame of their actions.
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Thank you
- By Sam on 04-19-23
By: Rebekah Clarke
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Your Brain on Porn
- Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction
- By: Gary Wilson
- Narrated by: Noah Church
- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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When high speed Internet became widely available a few years ago, growing numbers of people began to worry that their porn use was running out of control. Far from preparing them for fulfilling relationships, viewing an endless stream of porn videos led to unexpected symptoms.
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very informative!!!!
- By Blacktino!!!!! on 11-16-20
By: Gary Wilson
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The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
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A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
What listeners say about Out of the Doghouse
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- marko petek
- 10-17-22
Hard truth
It’s hard and painful but I believe that anyone who has the willingness to change will hear it and apply it’s knowledge and recommendations. It’s hard, honest and real. For all those who can face the deepest truth about themselves. Nothing more, nothing less.
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- Melissa S
- 04-08-25
Highly recommend
I am the betrayed partner and this book is so right on. If only my spouse can understand my needs after the betrayal our marriage can be saved.
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- Aaron Shahin
- 04-20-20
great information
this book is a great guide and should be listened to by anyone in the doghouse. it has helped me see more then I had before.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Crystal Hicks
- 03-22-21
Great book !
A great read for both men and women .. cheater or person being cheated on ! A lot of great information !
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- junrue
- 03-06-20
Solid advice that’s well-organized
I appreciate that the book is written in the context of the man who has wronged his woman. There are some great words about the definition and difference between forgiveness and trust. I re-read several rich sections to get all of the details.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chad
- 07-29-23
blunt and hard to hear. needed it
it was hard to listen to at some points because of the shame I felt. but this was a great listen.
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- Melissa Stanley
- 02-17-18
Perfect with only one regret.
I hope that the man I love reads or listens to this. I gave him a hard copy and sent him the audio version as well. He is a serial cheater and sex addict who has attempted suicide on several occasions as a result of my catching him acting out. I can only hope this book speaks to him. It explained what I am experiencing and what I need and want perfectly. My only regret is that Robert Weiss is no longer seeing patients.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Kristin Bentley
- 11-04-22
Just in time!
This book was very timely. My girlfriend sent it to me this morning and I downloaded it. I’ve spent the entire day listening to it, taking notes and have committed to trust the process and to be the man that I need to be. I’m grateful for Mr. Wiess’his book. I’ve struggled for many years and just recently messed up a horrible relationship. I have the opportunity to fix myself and to fix the relationship. I am grateful for my girlfriend to be able to do that and I’m going to show her overtime that I can do all this and more. I’m gonna read it again or listen to it again a few times. I recommend it to anybody that’s hit rock bottom. I’ll probably write another review after I’ve successfully obtained a greater relationship with my girlfriend. I want to marry her and I want to be the man she knows me to be. thank you Kristen . I love you.
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- Jeff M
- 08-01-20
Dude: if you are confused, listen to this.
Unlike most of the reviewers on here, I'm a dude and read this of my own volition. I'm grateful for that and it gives me hope. I wanted to know what I could do to suppprt my partner, which was the last few chapters of the book. Most of the book is about giving dude's a clue about what they have done and how hurtful it has been for the partner. I already knew and owned all that so it was not super helpful. Weiss uses the word spouse, which assumes marriage. Probably fair, because if a couple is not married, infidelity probably spells doom for the relationship. In any case, I joke that this book should be subtitled "you are an a**hole and don't know it". I appreciate that the author is reaching out to a broader audience than the recovery crowd. This is a good service for dudes who need a clue. That said, if you are already in recovery and working a program with a sponsor and doing deep work on yourself and relationships, this book may not help you much. However, if you're scratching your head saying "why is she so angry?", then do yourself a favor, listen to this book and listen up. I'm surprised how many women listened to and reviewed this book. The fact that women like it is a clear sign it is relevant for you, dude. Also, if you are reading this review and considering this book, you probably need it. Otherwise, why are you even reading this review?
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8 people found this helpful
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- Erin Wenzel
- 06-08-22
Must read.
Good for the cheater and the cheated on. Explains how both sides feel and what to expect. Read my titles and this was the most helpful.
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1 person found this helpful