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A Good Apology

By: Molly Howes PhD
Narrated by: Molly Howes PhD, Maggi-Meg Reed
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Publisher's summary

Through its four essential steps, A Good Apology gives groundbreaking advice on how best to make an effective apology toward rebuilding any relationship, for listeners of The Body Keeps the Score.

We've all done something wrong or made a mistake or insulted someone - even if by accident. We've all been hurt and wanted the other person to help us heal. It may be surprising, but the breaches themselves aren't the real problem; our inability to fix them is what causes us trouble.

In A Good Apology, Dr. Molly Howes uses her experiences with patients in her practice, research findings, and news stories to illustrate the power and importance of a thorough apology. She teaches how we can all learn to craft an effective apology with four straightforward steps.

An apology is a small-scale event between people, but it's enormously powerful. This comprehensive book gives listeners the tools to fix their relationships, make amends, and move forward. With it, you'll fully understand the meaning and importance of this universal and timeless endeavor: a good apology.

©2020 Molly Howes, PhD (P)2020 Grand Central Publishing
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Critic reviews

"A Good Apology is a brilliant, beautifully written, impeccably researched book that should be read by anyone involved in conflict management, organizational consulting, coaching, or psychotherapy. Actually, I can think of no one who would not benefit - both personally and professionally - from this book's clear, analytical, and heartfelt exploration of the four essential steps in a successful apology. Molly Howes has given us a life-changing gift with her sage advice and evocative stories of hurt, apology, and reconciliation." (David A. Hoffman, Esq., mediator, arbitrator, collaborative lawyer)

"I hope the whole world reads this book! Dr. Howes explores the power of a genuine apology in intimate relationships, politics, medicine and more, and she provides an elegant road-map for negotiating this tricky terrain. The ability to apologize is an often overlooked, but centrally important, aspect of happy relationships. Seamlessly written and saturated with wisdom, this book shows what it takes to free the heart - ours and others." (Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion)

"In A Good Apology, Dr. Molly Howes expertly delves into a difficult topic that helps us all become more loving and connected. In today's hectic world, nurturing our relationships is paramount. Through stories of people struggling and other useful tips and tools, Dr. Howes creates a road map we can all use to thrive." (Dr. Zelana Montminy, behavioral scientist and author of 21 Days to Resilience)

Featured Article: An Apology—A Perfect Tool of Life


At one or many points in our lives we will owe someone an apology, and someone will owe us one as well. Many will get it right, by simply and sincerely saying "I’m sorry." They might even add, "What can I do to make this right?" Unfortunately, some will try but render their apology null and void by saying, "I'm sorry, but..." In an earnest apology, there is no "but." Much has been written on the subject from psychologists to humorists to trusted gatekeepers of etiquette whose engaging listens will guide you to the right apology.

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excellent. don't suck at apologizing forever.

be a better person. be better at understanding, forgive, and start on path you and yours should have been on since the start.

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The book I’ve been searching for

I’ve been caught up in family drama and turmoil for years some of it initiated by me. This book has really helped me boundaries in my own mind about what I want to claim responsibility for and how to possibly elicit accountability on their part. I found this very insightful. I have no model in my life or how to apologize let alone doing it well. I wish I could send this book to everyone in my family.

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1 person found this helpful