
The Origins of You
How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love
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Narrated by:
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Vienna Pharaon
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By:
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Vienna Pharaon
About this listen
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft, +683K followers) comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your Family of Origin—the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us.
None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don’t serve us—and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better...with the right tools.
In The Origins of You, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin—the family and framework we grew up within—and examine what worked (and didn’t) in that system. Unhealed pain (or “wounds”) in that Family of Origin will manifest in our adult behaviors in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But the good news: armed with the knowledge about our past, we can actually rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives, right now and in the future.
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn’t for you. It doesn’t matter if you had a great childhood, or a terrible one. You can create change and resolve things from the past that need your attention. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, and frameworks for having difficult conversations to complement each chapter, The Origins of You will teach you how to break family patterns and help you liberate the way you live and love.
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Critic reviews
One of Amazon’s Best Books of the Month
One of Hollywood Reporter’s Best Gifts for Sparking Optimism
“The Origins of You offers us a promise: our family of origin, no matter how damaged it might have been, does not determine our destiny. With empathy and wisdom, Vienna Pharaon explains how our past creates our patterns—patterns we’re still living out today—and how we can shift those habits to create a new, healthier path for ourselves. Vienna's book is a gift.” —Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
“Change your behavior, change your life. Licensed therapist and relationship expert Vienna Pharaon wrote The Origins of You to help readers break unhealthy patterns of behavior in order to enjoy a better way of life. Each chapter includes worksheets for introspection, which will help you heal old wounds to create meaningful change in relationships with others as well as yourself.” —Hollywood Reporter
“[Pharaon] offers tools to communicate and set boundaries in relationships, and encourages readers to make changes to take control of their own relationship dynamics and move beyond their past trauma…She encourages readers to seek out therapy, while still offering them a starting place to understand their trauma and guide them through the work that they will need to do as they move forward…Will appeal to fans of Pharaon’s Instagram page and those seeking a self-help guide to help them navigate family patterns and take control of their love lives.” —Library Journal
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This anniversary edition celebrates 10 years since the publication of David Hamilton's radical title, How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body. A game changer in the field, it proposed we could use the power of imagination and thought processes to stimulate our body's own defences and healing systems to combat disease, pain, and illness. Updated with the latest scientific research on the mind-body connection, the audiobook compiles the scientific studies that have been done in the past 10 years.
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Loved it!
- By Michelle Roberts on 08-19-19
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On Self-Hatred
- Learning to Like Oneself
- By: The School of Life
- Narrated by: Rachel Lanning
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Behind many of our problems lies an often ignored factor: we don’t like ourselves very much. We are sufferers of self-hatred. We tell ourselves the meanest things. It’s because of self-hatred that we tend to neglect our potential at work and get entangled in unfulfilling relationships, that we lack confidence in our social lives and suffer from anxiety, despair and imposter syndrome.
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Useful ideas to reflect on
- By Kevin on 08-14-24
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A Matter of Death and Life
- By: Marilyn Yalom, Irvin D. Yalom
- Narrated by: Jim Frangione, Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom devoted his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her.
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The most beautiful love letter
- By Aloha Hawaii on 03-13-21
By: Marilyn Yalom, and others
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It's On Me
- Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life
- By: Sara Kuburic
- Narrated by: Sara Kuburic
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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So many of us feel lonely, unfulfilled, or trapped—in our roles and relationships, in cycles of self-sabotage and bad decisions, by our patterns and misguided attempts to feel happy or to feel something. According to existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic, it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Really. The answer is found in facing ourselves—whatever version that might be, regardless of whether we like the person we see reflected back to us. It’s about accepting full responsibility for the choices and actions that create our reality.
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Maybe it’s on me..
- By Michelle Cherry Roe on 08-12-24
By: Sara Kuburic
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The Motivation Manifesto
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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The Motivation Manifesto is a pulsing, articulate, ferocious call to claim our personal power. World-renowned high performance trainer Brendon Burchard reveals that the main motive of humankind is the pursuit of greater Personal Freedom. We desire the grand liberties of choice - time freedom, emotional freedom, social freedom, financial freedom, spiritual freedom.
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Don't.
- By Roberto on 02-14-16
By: Brendon Burchard
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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How to Be the Love You Seek
- Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships
- By: Dr. Nicole LePera
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, whether familial, romantic, or platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our hearts are primed for compassionate connection, our nervous systems—which store all our past hurts and disappointments—are wired for threat and negativity.
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The conclusion— was this one big rationalization for self indulgence?
- By Susan G DeLorenzo on 04-30-24
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Carry On, Warrior
- Thoughts on Life Unarmed
- By: Glennon Doyle Melton
- Narrated by: Glennon Doyle Melton
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Anne Lamott meets Elizabeth Gilbert in this inspirational, side-splittingly funny exploration of the power of living with love, forgiveness, and honesty. Glennon Melton became a sensation when her personal essays started going viral. Giving language to our universal (yet often secret) experiences, her hilarious and poignant observations were read by millions, shared among friends, discussed at water coolers, quoted in The New York Times, and have inspired a social movement.
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Get Ready to Exercise your Bookmarks
- By Molly on 04-17-13
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The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control
- A Path to Peace and Power
- By: Katherine Morgan Schafler
- Narrated by: Katherine Morgan Schafler
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.
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The Life Changing Book I didn’t know I needed
- By S. RINCON on 04-23-23
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Becoming the One
- Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself
- By: Sheleana Aiyana
- Narrated by: Sheleana Aiyana
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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If you find yourself struggling to let go after a relationship ends, or you keep hitting the same wall in dating and relationships with emotionally unavailable people, this is not a sign that you are broken. It is a sign that somewhere along the way, you learned to sacrifice yourself in order to be loved. In Becoming the One, spiritual leader and visionary founder of the Rising Woman community Sheleana Aiyana offers a road map for transforming your relationship patterns to end the cycle of self-abandonment and move into the light of self-discovery.
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Deepen The Connection With Yourself!
- By Kya Aliana on 06-18-22
By: Sheleana Aiyana
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Creative Confidence
- Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All
- By: Tom Kelley, David Kelley
- Narrated by: Dan Woren
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Too often, companies and individuals assume that creativity and innovation are the domain of the "creative types." But two of the leading experts in innovation, design, and creativity on the planet show us that each and every one of us is creative. In an incredibly entertaining and inspiring narrative that draws on countless stories from their work at IDEO, the Stanford d.school, and with many of the world's top companies, David and Tom Kelley identify the principles and strategies that will allow us to tap into our creative potential.
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A dull pointless book
- By A on 12-21-13
By: Tom Kelley, and others
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The Price of Time
- The Real Story of Interest
- By: Edward Chancellor
- Narrated by: Luis Soto
- Length: 15 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In the beginning was the loan, and the loan carried interest. For at least five millennia people have been borrowing and lending at interest. Yet as capitalism became established from the late Middle Ages onwards, denunciations of interest were tempered because interest was a necessary reward for lenders to part with their capital. And interest performs many other vital functions: it encourages people to save; enables them to place a value on precious assets, such as houses and all manner of financial securities; and allows us to price risk.
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Big landscape in time and subjects; Austrian view
- By Philo on 08-29-22
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You Are a Magnet
- Guiding Principles for a Magnetic and Joyful Life
- By: Amber Lyon
- Narrated by: Amber Lyon
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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We each hold the power to attract the life we want, the one we deserve, the one we dream of. Yet so many of us get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, insecurities, and old patterns of behavior. Through simple guiding principles, Amber Lyon shows you how to embrace and enhance your own power and magnetism. You are a Magnet shares powerful magnetic mindset shifts, practical tools and reflections to help you discover the limitless potential for growth that is at your fingertips.
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A practical guide back home
- By joseph elgin on 07-25-24
By: Amber Lyon
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You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
- Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
- By: Richard Schwartz PhD
- Narrated by: Martin LaGrande, Mike Berlak
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Do loving relationships end because couples lack communication skills, struggle to empathize, and fail to accommodate each other’s needs? That’s a common belief within and outside of the therapeutic world… but what if it’s all wrong? In You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, Dr. Richard Schwartz, the celebrated founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, offers a new way—a path toward courageous love that replaces the striving, dependent, and disconnected approach to solving relationship challenges.
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Clear examples of parts work
- By Ramona on 10-06-24
What listeners say about The Origins of You
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- melmel
- 01-14-24
Wow, that was good
This is one of the best self reflective books. I learned so much and came out with a broad understanding of my relationships with family and friends. Thank you I’m forever changed.
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- shayla
- 10-06-23
So good for those of us on a healing journey!
This is a must for anyone who is trying to grow and heal. I think I’m going to buy the paper copy to go back and highlight things I want to remember!
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- Anonymous User
- 06-18-23
Powerful
This book definitely was unique in the space of psychotherapy and psychology. I gained a lot from it and hope more people will take the deep dive even though it may feel uncomfortable or hard , it’s work that’s worthwhile ! Great read
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-28-23
The best self discovery book ever written
Wow, just wow. I have consumed a fair amount of self help books but this is hands down the best one. Pharaon’s ability to make this approachable is remarkable. Standing ovation.
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- Jeremy Murray
- 04-18-24
10/10 recommend for every human
This book provides a blueprint to get to the deep dark places within us and how to heal them
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- Kyoko Heslinga
- 11-09-23
Amazing
Highly recommend for anyone seeking introspection. I will be gifting this to my close friends who are curious about their lives and want a deeper relationship with themselves and others.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-23-23
Brilliantly healing
My daughter, Christina recommended this book to me, now I understand why. I recommend it to every mother and daughter who are looking for a new path forward.
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- Jeri
- 12-12-23
Relatability and Soothing
Wow, I feel so grateful to have discovered this book. I was having a pretty bad argument with my dad and my sister suggested reading this. I came to find, I am my father’s daughter and I portray a lot of his character defects. I never realized I had a worthiness wound that runs so deep into my childhood and has affected my relationships with men and my finances. Ouufff! I will be listening to this book again to instill the boundaries, conflict resolution and communication in my behavior patterns. It clicks, but I need to stick! This is actually explained in the book in some of the sessions and she walks through how to move forward. Thank you for writing this, I think you just changed my relationship and financial success story for good as it will be hard to ignore the hard truths I’ve learned about myself.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-17-23
Great contribution for all!
Great book. It is well laid out and written, Provides useful framework to understand the origins of our reactive behavior and how to address them to live a fuller, healthier, and more connected life.
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- JB
- 02-18-24
Such a Gift
I listened to this book in one day. It was so well organized, very smart and sensitive. Beautifully done as well as delivered. A must listen for anyone on a healing journey. Congratulations Vienna!
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