Embracing Shame
How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
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Narrated by:
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Carla Emmons
About this listen
Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
©2023 Bret Lyon, PhD, SEP and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT, RDT/BCT (P)2023 Sounds TrueListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“A few times in a lifetime a book comes along that opens up the dark recesses of our lives and illuminates the mysteries of human behavior, including why people act the way they do and why there is so much emotional suffering in the world. Embracing Shame by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin is such a book. It is engaging, transformative, and eye opening!”—Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, CEO of Focusing Resources and author of The Radical Acceptance of Everything
“Heartwarming, empowering, vulnerable, and brilliant. Every so often, a book comes along that will inspire your mind, touch your soul, and remind you that you are not alone. Embracing Shame by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon is a groundbreaking book that can help you break free of the chains of shame. Through stories, concrete practices, and research, Sheila and Bret bring us face-to-face with shame’s power to paralyze our lives while also offering a way out through embracing it.”—Albert Wong, PhD, director of the Trauma Certificate Program at Somatopia
“Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin have already transformed the trauma therapy field with their Healing Shame workshops. Now anybody who picks up this book can benefit from their radical healing approach to shame. They have written a gem of a book that anybody can read, understand, relate to, and apply to themselves, to clients, to loved ones. Expect to learn, expect to have ‘aha’ moments, expect to be moved, expect to be transformed.”—Diana Fosha, PhD, developer of AEDP, editor of Undoing Aloneness and the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing, and author of The Transforming Power of Affect
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12 Months to $1 Million
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
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The 6 Habits of Growth
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
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By: Brendon Burchard
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Not well made as audio
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Stop living in fear
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By: Mel Robbins
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
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By: Chris Bailey
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
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Naturally lose weight fast and get the body you've been wanting. Stop old habits in their tracks, shed pounds now, and feel amazing. Rapid weight loss is yours today with this powerful guided meditation program from the Sleep Learning System and world-renowned hypnotherapist Joel Thielke.
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My new favorite hypnosis audio!
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Models
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
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Not Nice
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
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I Can't Make This Up
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
- By Diana Yin on 02-22-24
By: Jamie Kern Lima
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What listeners say about Embracing Shame
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- JK
- 12-11-23
Amazing Listen!
I'm so excited for this book, not only are Bret & Sheila's methods to help clients deal with their internalized toxic shame revolutionary, but emotional health and healthy shame are one of the foundational pieces to healing. This book will change how you view shame, as we tend to vilify it because it doesn't feel good, but shame as the social construct 'master' emotion helps us to reconnect in our bodies, heal from trauma and understand and attune to our needs on a fundamental level. Transforming toxic, pervasive shame into healthy shame bit by bit, is such a powerful, stunning experience!
Easy to understand and assimilate, well-written and beyond helpful in our journey, Embracing Shame is a must-listen if you are looking to live your fullest, most authentic life!
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- Bay Area
- 10-24-23
Get this audiobook
Very good and not to be missed. Understanding shame is so important. To heal yourself then you must deal with your shame.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Laurie A.
- 04-06-24
A Transformational Book
This book gives the listener a pathway out of shame. It is written with Compassion and Heart, and has the power to set its listener free from the binds of shame. The reader captures the emotional tone (Acceptance, Empathy, Compassion) that Sheila and Brett bring to their trainings, which made it a joy to listen to. Personal and clinical stories make it engaging and relatable. Such an important book for anyone living with shame (all of us?) or helping others to work with theirs.
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- Gary Muszynski
- 12-02-23
Masterful guidance for a difficult topic
I wish i had a book like this 10 years ago! It fills in blanks that really impacted my healing. And the stories make it very human. The reader did a great job - expressive and sensitive.
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- Michael
- 10-12-24
Only goes so far
Must admit I only listened to about half of this. I found all of the examples to be of the same variety--people who experience shame for reasons that are really no fault of their own, i.e., feeling ashamed about not getting over your grief quickly enough, shame about trauma, shame about not meeting unrealistic expectations of yourself, etc. I'm not trying to dismiss the experience of people who feel shame for such reasons. This book might be a good resource for you if you do. But what about people who have actually done bad things--parents who have neglected or maybe even mistreated their children, alcoholics and drug users whose addictions have left a wake of carnage, people who have betrayed friends and/or family members, people who have committed crimes, etc. What about them/us? How do we begin to address the shame we feel over our behavior? This book doesn't venture into these ethically ambiguous topics, at least not as far as I read, and not from what I could tell from the table of contents. These are really challenging issues, and I think it would be great if somebody wrote a book that helps people who are struggling to come to terms with objectively inappropriate behavior from the past.
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1 person found this helpful