
Embracing Shame
How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
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Narrated by:
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Carla Emmons
About this listen
Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
©2023 Bret Lyon, PhD, SEP and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT, RDT/BCT (P)2023 Sounds TrueListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“A few times in a lifetime a book comes along that opens up the dark recesses of our lives and illuminates the mysteries of human behavior, including why people act the way they do and why there is so much emotional suffering in the world. Embracing Shame by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin is such a book. It is engaging, transformative, and eye opening!”—Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, CEO of Focusing Resources and author of The Radical Acceptance of Everything
“Heartwarming, empowering, vulnerable, and brilliant. Every so often, a book comes along that will inspire your mind, touch your soul, and remind you that you are not alone. Embracing Shame by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon is a groundbreaking book that can help you break free of the chains of shame. Through stories, concrete practices, and research, Sheila and Bret bring us face-to-face with shame’s power to paralyze our lives while also offering a way out through embracing it.”—Albert Wong, PhD, director of the Trauma Certificate Program at Somatopia
“Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin have already transformed the trauma therapy field with their Healing Shame workshops. Now anybody who picks up this book can benefit from their radical healing approach to shame. They have written a gem of a book that anybody can read, understand, relate to, and apply to themselves, to clients, to loved ones. Expect to learn, expect to have ‘aha’ moments, expect to be moved, expect to be transformed.”—Diana Fosha, PhD, developer of AEDP, editor of Undoing Aloneness and the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing, and author of The Transforming Power of Affect
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-
Story
A chronic sense of unease. Nagging what-ifs. Worry about what other people think. Paralyzing phobias. Full-blown panic attacks. Anxiety shows up in a lot of different ways and can permeate every aspect of your life. The good news is that although it can feel confusing and overwhelming—as if things will never get better—it is possible to retrain your brain and put yourself back in the driver's seat.
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Reframe Your Shame
- Experience Freedom from What Holds You Back
- By: Irene Rollins
- Narrated by: Irene Rollins, Sarah Wendel
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Discover how facing your underlying pain will allow you to overcome it and move forward. With practical insights and biblical teaching about what it takes to break the cycle of addiction and shame, Reframe Your Shame will set you on the path to freedom.
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Excellent book, full of hope
- By Susan Perry on 08-05-22
By: Irene Rollins
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The Unshaming Way
- A Compassionate Guide to Dismantling Shame—Heal from Trauma, Unlearn Self-Blame, and Reclaim Your Story
- By: David Bedrick
- Narrated by: A'rese Emokpae
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick helps us understand how shame shows up—and offers a revolutionary, stigma-free model to help us unshame and release its hold on our happiness. Shame is more than feeling guilty, sad, or responsible. It develops when we experience a trauma but can’t access the tools or freedom to express how we feel—or are denied the ability to ask for the care we need. It shows up when we aren’t witnessed—whether by a loved one, our community, our culture, or anyone from whom we need to hear.
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Must read.
- By Lisa J on 05-23-25
By: David Bedrick
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Unlearning Shame
- How We Can Reject Self-Blame Culture and Reclaim Our Power
- By: Devon Price PhD
- Narrated by: Devon Price PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Systemic Shame is the socially engineered self-loathing that says we are solely to blame for our circumstances. It teaches that our consumption is moral and personal choice is our only tool of change. Systemic Shame tells us that poverty is remedied by hard-working people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, that marginalized people are responsible for their own oppression, and that massive global crises like climate change can be solved by switching to paper straws. When we inevitably blame ourselves for failing to do enough to combat structural injustices, we feel Systemic Shame.
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not about shame
- By Anonymous User on 06-15-24
By: Devon Price PhD
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Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong
- And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life
- By: MaryCatherine McDonald PhD
- Narrated by: MaryCatherine McDonald PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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With Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong, Dr. McDonald overturns the misconceptions about trauma with the latest evidence from neuroscience and psychology—and shares tested practices and tools to help you work with your body’s coping mechanisms to accelerate healing.
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Brave, insightful, and helpful
- By Em4112 on 03-27-23
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Shame-Informed Therapy
- Treatment Strategies to Overcome Core Shame and Reconstruct the Authentic Self
- By: Patti Ashley
- Narrated by: Sonja Field
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Help clients overcome chronic feelings of not being good enough and debilitating negative thought patterns that may have begun in childhood. Combining 40 years of experience as an educator, child development specialist, and clinician, Dr. Patti Ashley created Shame-Informed Therapy: Treatment Strategies to Overcome Core Shame and Reconstruct the Authentic Self to help clinicians crack the code on the often unseen and unspoken aspects of core shame, and develop more effective treatment for even your most resistant clients.
By: Patti Ashley
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Panic Proof
- The New Holistic Solution to End Your Anxiety Forever
- By: Dr. Nicole Cain
- Narrated by: Dr. Nicole Cain
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Panic Proof offers a holistic approach to dealing with panic disorders, amounting to a personalized path to freedom for the millions of people who have had panic attacks. While other books have focused on the thoughts that contribute to panic, Panic Proof is the first book to teach the body that it’s safe in order to prevent panic before it attacks, with remedies ranging from probiotics, herbal remedies, and adaptogens targeted for your anxiety type to healing practices for releasing trauma stored in the body.
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Something here for everyone!
- By Nick Kondyles on 12-25-24
By: Dr. Nicole Cain
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Journey Through Trauma
- A Trail Guide to the 5-Phase Cycle of Healing Repeated Trauma
- By: Gretchen L. Schmelzer PhD
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Gretchen Schmelzer watched too many people quit during treatment for trauma recovery. They found it too difficult or too frightening or just decided that for them it was too late. But as a therapist and trauma survivor herself, Dr. Schmelzer wants us to know that it is never too late to heal from trauma, whether it is the suffering caused within an abusive relationship or PTSD resulting from combat.
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Stunningly accurate portrayal of the journey
- By Daniel on 12-11-19
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It's Not Always Depression
- Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self
- By: Diana Fosha - foreword, Hilary Jacobs Hendel
- Narrated by: Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment....
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Simple and Profound
- By Joseph D Woodbury on 02-20-18
By: Diana Fosha - foreword, and others
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Healing Trauma
- Restoring the Wisdom of the Body
- By: Peter A. Levine
- Narrated by: Peter A. Levine
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Original Recording
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Are you experiencing physical or emotional symptoms that no one is able to explain? If so, you may be suffering a traumatic reaction to a past event, teaches Levine.
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Somewhat misleading. Unfortunately.
- By Gwendolyn on 11-30-10
By: Peter A. Levine
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Vagus Nerve Exercises
- Unlock Vagus Nerve’s Healing Power by Improving Your Vagal Tone With Self-Help Exercises to Relieve Stress, Anxiety and Depression – Autonomic Nervous System & Polyvagal Theory
- By: Jeremy Young
- Narrated by: Aries Studio
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Emotions, affect regulation, and interpersonal social behavior are psychological processes that define how people react to events, environmental difficulties, and other people. These processes build our sense of self, help us form connections, and influence whether we feel comfortable in different situations or with different individuals. Despite the fact that these processes may be witnessed scientifically and subjectively, they constitute a complex interplay between our psychological experience and physiological control.
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Revolutionary Approach to Health and Wellness
- By Kelly on 01-29-23
By: Jeremy Young
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Radical Acceptance
- Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha
- By: Tara Brach
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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"Believing that something is wrong with us is a deep and tenacious suffering," says Tara Brach at the start of this illuminating book. This suffering emerges in crippling self-judgments and conflicts in our relationships, in addictions and perfectionism, in loneliness and overwork - all the forces that keep our lives constricted and unfulfilled. Radical Acceptance offers a path to freedom, including the day-to-day practical guidance developed over Dr. Brach's 20 years of work with therapy clients and Buddhist students.
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Sublime Guidance
- By Rich on 11-21-15
By: Tara Brach
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Daring Greatly
- How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Brené Brown
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on 12 years of pioneering research, Dr. Brené Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity.
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listen to “the power of vulnerability” instead
- By Vanessa Portillo on 10-10-18
By: Brené Brown
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His Needs, Her Needs
- Making Romantic Love Last
- By: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.
- Narrated by: Chris Abell
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the bestselling marriage book available. In this classic book, Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to make their marriage sizzle by satisfying those needs in their spouses.
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great explanation
- By ArtRobot on 03-14-24
Easy to understand and assimilate, well-written and beyond helpful in our journey, Embracing Shame is a must-listen if you are looking to live your fullest, most authentic life!
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