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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives

By: Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller
Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
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Publisher's summary

Revised and updated with over 600,000 copies sold.

Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.

©2003 Pia Mellody (P)2019 Pia Mellody
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What listeners say about Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives

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    4 out of 5 stars

Heartbreaking yet healing

It is the slap on the face that perhaps you need. However, I (and my therapist) would not recomend this book if you are just waking up to toxicity in your relationships. Wait like 3 years in therapy to start this, otherwise I bet you’ll become defensive about your behavior or your abusers’ behaviors.
And in another note, maybe it’s my spiritual trauma talking, but I dislike how pushy she is with “the higher power” very christian of her... and I don’t trust christians in any spiritual related stuff, because of this tendency to push down peoples throat their ideology.

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Good book; just a little bit too detailed.

The book covers every scenario possible which I found overwhelming. I struggle with the wood codependency as to the context of the material in it.
That said, it does open your eyes to how some of the simplest things we do as parents can effect us later in life.

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Wonderful Explanation

This book explained codependence very well and made me better understand parts of myself that made me feel crazy. This book will be a part of my life forever.

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Helpful and Interesting

The content of this book was well laid out, cohesive, and very helpful. I would recommend this to anyone wanting to learn more about codependence, thinks they could be codependent, or know someone who is codependent.

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Great insight

Read this if you are a man who grew up with a narcissistic mother or a woman who grew up with a narcissistic father. It helps you to not project your opposite gender parent issue onto an entire gender as an adult.

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Practical and insightful

Very satysfying listen. Pia started out as a clinician and built her process from ground up. It is hands on, authentic and empowering. Highly recomended for everyone who wants to get past simplified victim position of alcoholic or narcissitic abuse and sort out their life & relationships.

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Love!!!

Connected on so manny levels. Love the book!!! I was able to learn so much about myself and others around me.

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Challenged my "reading" comprehension...

Though I agree that the narrator's performance was a bit off (he somehow managed to sound energetic and passionless at the same time. Also: "BOLTH"), the information was delivered in such a clinical and condensed way that it was difficult to relate to at times. I also feel that the Author's own limited and dated views on certain things was a bit distracting, because I had to try to see the information through the lense of her worldview and try to make applicable from a broader perspective. A few examples: She mentioned some gender stuff that had me rolling my eyes, especially on roles. The whole higher power thing definitely lacked a lot of explanation--I can't tell if she thinks anyone who doesn't believe in God is automatically broken by abuse, or if her own identity and progress are so entwined in her belief in a God that any beliefs outside of that just don't fall into her scope. It's important because I had to try to squeeze meaning out of much of her talk of spirituality.

I am certain it will take another pass to really process the breadth of the information here, but I know I'm not going to have it in me anytime soon. I got a lot of valuable information from it, I'm just not used to having to work so hard to understand what the author is trying to explain.

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The last chapter was EVERYTHING!

Wow! I was not liking the book as I got about halfway through it.... but the end was everything!!!! I really wonder how many people know that this is exactly what their issue is?? This book spoke volumes to me.... she’s on to something here! I have to read it again to get everything I need from it.....

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Amazing, Insightful, Extremely Helpful

Pia lays out beautifully what co dependence is, how to recognize it, how to treat it, how to move forward in recovery. I found the book was easy to relate to through her own experience, and own personal stories of co dependence. I feel like a window in my mind has been opened, now I want to find the door and live life again or for the first time. Thank you Pia, God bless you always 🙂

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