Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old
A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong
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Narrated by:
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Michael Butler Murray
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By:
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Steven Petrow
About this listen
Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of "things I won't do when I get old" - mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something-year-old parents were doing wrong. That list became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.
The fact is, we don't want to age the way previous generations did. "Old people" hoard. They bore relatives - and strangers alike - with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they've become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at four p.m. They swear they don't need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way....
In Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, "I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder - to me - to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to 'old.'" Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.
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Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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Happily Ever After
- The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart
- By: Trista Sutter
- Narrated by: Trista Sutter
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whether or not you remember Trista (Rehn) Sutter from her heartbreak on the first season of The Bachelor reality show or as the original Bachelorette, you’ve probably seen her on the cover of magazines like People and US Weekly or on shows like Ellen and Dancing with the Stars. She has rarely been out of the public eye since falling in love with Ryan Sutter on The Bachelorette more than ten years ago.
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Not what I was expecting
- By marcie on 01-09-17
By: Trista Sutter
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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Mother Daughter Me
- A Memoir
- By: Katie Hafner
- Narrated by: Katie Hafner
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner's remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a "year in Provence" with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoe, Katie's teenage daughter. Katie and Zoe had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a 77-year-old woman set in her ways....
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Listen and be swept away!
- By Barbara Quick on 06-02-22
By: Katie Hafner
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive
- 101 Inspirational Stories about Counting Your Blessings and Having a Positive Attitude
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark, and others
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby, Jim Bond
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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101 True Stories about how Positive Thinking can change your life! Everyone needs a little attitude adjustment once in a while, and these amazing true life stories reveal how real people used positive thinking to improve their lives and overcome challenges. You’ll read stories about how you can make every day a special day, incorporate gratitude and joy into your daily life, count your blessings and change your outlook, use a few well-chosen words to reorient your life, manage cancer and other health challenges through a positive attitude, simplify and have a more meaningful life and more!
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Good overall.
- By Sergey Makeev on 02-21-24
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Women Rowing North
- By: Mary Pipher
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Shanda
- A Memoir of Shame and Secrecy
- By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The word "shanda" is defined as shame or disgrace in Yiddish. This book, Shanda, tells the story of three generations of complicated, intense twentieth-century Jews for whom the desire to fit in and the fear of public humiliation either drove their aspirations or crushed their spirit. In her deeply engaging, astonishingly candid memoir, author and activist Letty Cottin Pogrebin exposes the fiercely-guarded lies and intricate cover-ups woven by dozens of members of her extended family.
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Beautifully Written!
- By Adele Aron Greenspun on 01-12-23
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Best new release I’ve read!
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
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The entries in this compulsively listenable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.
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Not what I expected
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The Story Behind
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Many of us learn about the major inventions that shape our world. But we too often overlook the objects we use every day. In The Story Behind, Emily Prokop, creator of the Webby Award nominated podcast, explores the who, how, and huh? of everything from Band-Aids to bubble gum; hypnosis to Hula Hoops; and lullabies to lead pipes. Along the way, she demonstrates how the major events of history - from wars, plagues and revolutions to historic achievements and discoveries - have influenced some of the world’s most pervasive inventions.
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One third of the book is repeated after initial description of subject under “TLDR” ..?
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Chicken Soup for the Soul
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If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics - humanity's ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and listen to these stories instead. Or listen to a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. This book contains the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood.
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I love all the voices!!!😄
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We all know what it’s like to experience the disappointments and sorrows of life. Unexpected circumstances like layoffs, divorce, illness, and death can leave us hurting and isolated. Add to that the unending anxiety we feel at the state of the world—political strife and global upheavals—and we end up with a recipe for . . . joy? Yes, says journalist Steven Petrow, who has lived through all of those things, and arrived at a surprising conclusion: Joy is always present—in our everyday routines, in ties to those we care about, even in our grief.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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In this intimate and funny collection of essays on the sometimes confusing, sometimes poignant, sometimes hilarious condition of being a woman over 60, Susan Moon keeps her sense of humor and she keeps her listener fully engaged. Among the pieces she has included here are an essay on the gratitude she feels for her weakening bones; observations on finding herself both an orphan and a matriarch following the death of her mother; musings on her tendency to regret the past.
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Kill me now
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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
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The simple word "no" is often the most difficult to say. Yet anyone can develop the skills to say no with confidence, kindness, and peace of mind. And the benefits are enormous. You'll spend less time doing things you don't want to do with people you don't want to see, and move closer to your own priorities and passions. How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty shows you the five simple techniques that will help you say no with finesse in nearly any situation and how to apply two basic principles to minimize guilt about saying no and reduce the likelihood of personal conflicts.
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good enough for me.
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Prove your awesomeness - or bolster your stockpile of conversation starters! Either way, prove you’re the smartest schmuck in the room with over 500 absurdly real facts! With over 500 outrageous and real facts on everything from hippo sweat to stars in the galaxy, you're sure to impress your friends, stump your colleagues, and crush the trivia night competition! Discover insane-but-true factoids and prove you really do know it all! Test out the true or false questions covering the gamut of science, sports, history, pop culture, and a potpourri of others.
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Everything we do in life is for love. Why? I don't know. Maybe love is what keeps us going. Maybe love is the means and ends to this life. Maybe the universe runs on love. Whatever may be the reason, love is what we all demand, and love is what we all want. But very often, we find ourselves without love. Some of us have lost love, some of us have lost ourselves in love and some of us don't believe in love. And for so many of us, it's worse because we don't feel we deserve to be loved. Right? I know how it feels to feel unloved for many years.
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Chicken Soup for the Soul: Too Funny!
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Chicken Soup for the Soul has gathered some great storytellers to document the mishaps and misadventures of everyday life and celebrate humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. There’s no holding back in this book, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun. This is storytelling at its funniest! No one is safe in these true stories—from spouses to parents to children to colleagues to friends. And the funniest stories are the ones about the writers’ own mishaps and most embarrassing moments.
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Exhausted and overworked lawyer, triathlete, wife, and mom Meredith Atwood decided one morning that she'd had it. She didn't take her kids to school. She didn't go to work. She didn't go to the gym. When she pulled herself out of bed hours later than she should have, she found a note from her husband next to two empty bottles of wine and a stack of unpaid bills: You need to get your sh*t together. In The Year of No Nonsense, Atwood shares what she learned, tackling struggles with work, family, and body image, and also willpower and time management.
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Lots of nonsense in no-nonsense (hashtags in a book...?)
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By: Meredith Atwood
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You What?!
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- By: Dr. John Chase
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The end of residency isn’t the utopia you might have imagined. You know what to do with the medical stuff, but what about navigating private practice, unfamiliar hospitals, and—patients! In this collection of absurd moments, practical advice, and humorous tales from the medical trenches, Dr. John Chase shares stories from his forty years as an orthopedic surgeon and offers insight into how to be successful, have fun, and take care of patients without missing out on what really matters in life.
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The performance by Bronson Pinchot is fabulous!
- By John Chase on 10-20-22
By: Dr. John Chase
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The Best Minds
- A Story of Friendship, Madness, and the Tragedy of Good Intentions
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- Narrated by: Jonathan Rosen
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Acclaimed author Jonathan Rosen’s haunting investigation of the forces that led his closest childhood friend, Michael Laudor, from the heights of brilliant promise to the forensic psychiatric hospital where he has lived since killing the woman he loved. A story about friendship, love, and the price of self-delusion, The Best Minds explores the ways in which we understand—and fail to understand—mental illness.
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The Overwhelming Tragedy of Mental Illness
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By: Jonathan Rosen
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Enough About Me
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- By: Richard Lui
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When his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, Richard Lui made a tough decision. The award-winning news anchor decided to set aside his growing career to care for his family. At first, this new caregiving lifestyle did not come easily for Lui, and what followed was a seven-year exercise in what it really means to be selfless.
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Not what I expected..
- By Danica Anderson on 04-05-21
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The Bucket List
- Agent John Adderley, Book 1
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The Bucket List starts when undercover FBI Agent John Adderley wakes up in a hospital bed in Baltimore with extensive gunshot wounds. He knows he’s lucky to be alive. And just a few beds away is the man who 24 hours ago pointed a gun to his head. Soon, a high-profile cold-case file is sent to Agent Adderley, now living in Sweden (where he’s not lived since he was a boy) in witness protection, hiding until he can testify against the drug cartel he infiltrated back in the States. Adderley is determined to solve the case, even with a price on his head....
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Started out well...
- By SB on 07-06-21
By: Peter Mohlin, and others
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The Forgotten 500
- By: Gregory A. Freeman
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Here is the astonishing, never-before-told story of the greatest rescue mission of World War II: when the OSS set out to recover more than 500 airmen trapped behind enemy lines. During a bombing campaign, hundreds of American airmen were shot down in Nazi-occupied Yugoslavia. Local Serbian villagers risked their own lives to give refuge to the soldiers, and for months the airmen lived in hiding, waiting for rescue.
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an amazing tale
- By Ron on 10-28-07
What listeners say about Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Chanelle Lounsbury
- 09-26-24
Eye Opener to Aging
I like how this book goes from being funny and you can't help but laugh and eye roll to what they are saying to having compassion for those who are older. I'm in my late 30s and this has given me a better perspective of what my parents are going through and how I can be more patient with them. And more patient to my grandparents. I want planning on having a life lesson with this but I did and I'm so happy I found this book.
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- A Mom
- 12-27-23
Read this every six months
At 63 years of age, it is imperative that I read/listen to this book every six months as a good reminder in establishing a good way to live my life to the full and not to discomfort the folks I love around me in the process!
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- Mark
- 08-22-21
Fun listen
Used the one about being cold on my wife. Now I can set the AC at 72!
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- Rachel Grey
- 01-28-23
Relevant to nearly everyone
Not every chapter resonated, but, oddly, while I was reading this book I got several reminders of how widely relevant the material is -- like a friend blogging about her mother falling while not using her walker. I was able to recommend the book two or three times as a possible discussion starter, which is kind of amazing for a book I picked up for a few pragmatic later-in-life tips that, I hoped, would be presented with a sense of humor. I would have enjoyed this more in print form than in audio format, as I would have liked to skim and go a bit faster in a few places. But was it thought-provoking and tremendously relevant? Yes.
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- Cynthia A. Clark
- 04-02-23
Reflection of my own life
I laughed and cried through the book which could have been me and my siblings’ story as we tried to help our parents “age in place”! I too had a list of things I won’t do when I get old and now I’ll add to that list 😏
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- KCMC
- 10-03-24
Should be required reading at age 60
Better than I expected. Humorous but excellent advice and insights. I’ve been recommending it to friends.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-10-23
Poignant and On Point!
Steven captured so many aspects of life particularly for gay men in their sixties like myself. There were so many parallels and “Yes!” moments. His ability and honesty to write about so many personal aspects of his life are refreshing and relatable. And yes, there is both validation, guidance, and even permission to have thoughts like these. “Yes, you’re okay.” Thanks, Mr. Petrow.
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- TS
- 08-20-22
Reminders For a Fulfilling Life in Our Later Years
This book really made me reflect on how to embrace my coming later years. Adjust to the changes, let your loved ones know how much you love them, and have more compassion for folks older than ourselves as hopefully we will still be around to join those elder folks!
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- lori Fiore
- 10-12-21
Didn’t think I was looking in the mirror
Very good book, thought it would be amusing,and it was! But I didn’t think it would be a mirror of some things in my life!
A good time in my life to read(or listen) grounding perspectives!
Thank you!
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- pschi
- 10-24-21
How could somente get old and bem só imature?
uma pessoa vivendo no centro do mundo, que não aprendeu o que é a vida, incapaz de lidar com frustrações e dificuldades. sua lições de como envelhecer são de uma primariamente que surpreende.
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