
The Likeability Trap
How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are
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Narrated by:
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Alicia Menendez
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By:
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Alicia Menendez
About this listen
Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likeable. Whatever that means?
Women are stuck in an impossible bind. At work, strong women are criticized for being cold, and warm women are seen as pushovers. An award-winning journalist examines this fundamental paradox and empowers listeners to let go of old rules and reimagine leadership rather than reinventing themselves.
Consider that even competent women must appear likeable to successfully negotiate a salary, ask for a promotion, or take credit for a job well done - and that studies show these actions usually make them less likeable. And this minefield is doubly loaded when likeability intersects with race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and parental status.
Relying on extensive research and interviews, and carefully examined personal experience, The Likeability Trap delivers an essential examination of the pressure put on women to be amiable at work, home, and in the public sphere, and explores the price women pay for internalizing those demands. Rather than advising listeners to make themselves likeable, Menendez empowers them to examine how they perceive themselves and others and explores how the concept of likeability is riddled with cultural biases. Our demands for likeability, she argues, hinder everyone’s progress and power.
Inspiring, thoughtful, and often funny, The Likeability Trap proposes surprising, practical solutions for confronting the cultural patterns holding us back, encourages us to value unique talents and styles instead of muting them, and to remember that while likeability is part of the game, it will not break you.
©2019 Alicia Menendez (P)2019 HarperAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It’ll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever’s nearby to say, “Lemme read you one more part!” Which is annoying, but tough titties.
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Plum! jinx!
- By Emily on 07-19-23
By: Laura Belgray
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Stress Less, Accomplish More
- Meditation for Extraordinary Performance
- By: Emily Fletcher
- Narrated by: Emily Fletcher, Sean Pratt, Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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This is not just another meditation guide. In Stress Less, Accomplish More, Emily teaches a powerful trifecta of mindfulness, meditation, and manifesting to improve your personal and professional performance, clarity, health, and sleep. You’ll learn how to cultivate mindfulness through brief but powerful exercises that will help you stop wasting time stressing. Plus, you’ll get manifesting tools to help you get crystal clear on your personal and professional goals for the future.
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Conflicted
- By zachg on 03-02-19
By: Emily Fletcher
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Becoming a King
- The Path to Restoring the Heart of a Man
- By: Morgan Snyder, John Eldredge
- Narrated by: Morgan Snyder
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King unabashedly speaks directly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love.
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Results From 2 Months of Reading
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-20
By: Morgan Snyder, and others
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Your Brain at Work, Revised and Updated
- Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long
- By: David Rock
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In Your Brain at Work, Dr. David Rock goes inside Emily and Paul's brains to see how they function as each attempts to sort, prioritize, organize, and act on the vast quantities of information they receive in one typical day. Dr. Rock is an expert on how the brain functions in a work setting. By analyzing what is going on in their heads, he offers solutions Emily and Paul (and all of us) can use to survive and thrive in today's hyperbusy work environment - and still feel energized and accomplished at the end of the day.
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Thought provoking
- By Prince Ebenezer on 11-02-20
By: David Rock
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Move the Body, Heal the Mind
- Overcome Anxiety, Depression, and Dementia and Improve Focus, Creativity, and Sleep
- By: Jennifer Heisz
- Narrated by: Jennifer Heisz
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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A noted neuroscientist reveals groundbreaking research on how fitness and exercise can combat mental health conditions such as anxiety, dementia, ADHD, and depression, and offers a plan for improving focus, creativity, and sleep.
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self indulgent
- By m on 06-20-22
By: Jennifer Heisz
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Get Out of Your Own Way
- How to Overcome Any Obstacle in Your Life
- By: Larry Winget
- Narrated by: Larry Winget
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Original Recording
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You think you know what you want in life. You've tried to achieve those things. But if you still don't have them, the culprit may be closer than you think. In this perspective-altering program, the world-renowned Pitbull of Personal Development(tm), Larry Winget, exposes the things you are doing right now to unknowingly prevent your own success in the most important areas of your life.
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Was just OK
- By KatieReviewsStuff on 01-30-17
By: Larry Winget
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The Cause of Death
- By: Cynric Temple-Camp
- Narrated by: Mark Davis
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Spontaneous combustion and exhumation, drug mules and devil worshippers, a gruesome killing beneath the Palmerston North Airport control tower, a mysterious death in a historic homestead, a firsthand dissection of the infamous Mark Lundy case... In The Cause of Death, provincial pathologist Dr. Cynric Temple-Camp lifts the lid on the most unusual stories of death and murder he's encountered during his 30-year career.
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Love it!
- By NurseNano on 07-27-18
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Odd Girl Out
- By: Laura James
- Narrated by: Lucinda Clare
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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From childhood, Laura James knew she was different. She struggled to cope in a world that often made no sense to her, as though her brain had its own operating system. It wasn't until she reached her 40s that she found out why: Suddenly and surprisingly, she was diagnosed with autism. With a touching and searing honesty, Laura challenges everything we think we know about what it means to be autistic. Married with four children and a successful journalist, Laura examines the ways in which autism has shaped her career, her approach to motherhood, and her closest relationships.
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Narration is not my favorite
- By Linden on 03-01-21
By: Laura James
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Marrow
- A Love Story
- By: Elizabeth Lesser
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Lesser, Sally Field
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to yourself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones you love. But when her sister, Maggie, needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love.
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“ Love came first “
- By marie on 03-26-18
By: Elizabeth Lesser
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The F*ck It Diet
- Eating Should Be Easy
- By: Caroline Dooner
- Narrated by: Caroline Dooner
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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From comedian and ex-diet junkie Caroline Dooner, an inspirational guide that will help you stop dieting, reboot your relationship with food, and regain your personal power. Our bodies are hardwired against dieting. But each time our diets fail, instead of considering that maybe our ridiculously low-carb diet is the problem, we wonder what’s wrong with us.
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I cannot believe this actually got published
- By w49859845 on 03-02-20
By: Caroline Dooner
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Shorter
- Work Better, Smarter, and Less-Here's How
- By: Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
- Narrated by: Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Shorter tells the story of entrepreneurs and leaders all over the world who have discovered how to shrink the workweek without cutting salaries or sacrificing productivity or revenues. They show that by reducing distractions, eliminating inefficiencies, and creating time for high-quality focus and collaboration, four-day workweeks can boost recruitment and retention, make leaders more thoughtful and companies more sustainable, and improve work-life balance.
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Good premise that should be 40% shorter
- By Nicholas on 09-23-21
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Master of None
- How a Jack-of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top
- By: Clifford Hudson
- Narrated by: Clifford Hudson
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Most people don't need to be experts in their field. Yes, the successful know more than the average person about a particular topic, and they often possess a better-than-average ability with a particular skill set; but not everyone who is successful is an expert, he makes clear. And yet we continue to deeply value the expertise ideal. In Master of None, Hudson turns expertise on its head and shows that by embracing variety and becoming more versatile, anyone can succeed and become more open to different opportunities in life.
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Not great, not bad
- By Brian Sachetta on 01-27-21
By: Clifford Hudson
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Workplace Poker
- Are You Playing the Game, or Just Getting Played?
- By: Dan Rust
- Narrated by: Dan Rust, Rick Adamson
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A career advisor explains why many talented, hardworking people often miss out on their full career potential, revealing the tells, blind spots, secrets, and unspoken rules you need to know in order to play the game to win.
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A must read for your life
- By Belinda on 06-05-18
By: Dan Rust
What listeners say about The Likeability Trap
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- Desserai Ann Zinnerman
- 11-14-19
Much appreciated
Alicia Menendez is totally relatable to me. I enjoyed her voice and humor immensely. The subject of the book is something I have struggled with forever and am happy and educated about it from another and the same perspective, if that makes sense, lol. So to say I am very appreciative of the skills of Alicia is an understatement. I am looking forward to following her on her new gig on MSNBC. Kudos,
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- Antawn Fuqua
- 02-08-24
Get another voice actor
Not the best reading. Story is somewhat shallow. The reading feels like it lacks performance. Overall feels very flat.
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- David Gettler
- 10-07-22
Great listening and learning
Alicia Menendez shares the tales and troubles faced by her and other modern women in the workforce. As a straught white male, I found it incredibly interesting (and depressing) to hear the horror stories, but it's important for men to hear and learn from books like and that we appreciate how hard it has been for women from day one through today. We can all learn valuable lessons from this book. Thanks for this terrific book, Alicia!
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1 person found this helpful
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- A. Yoshida
- 12-28-19
Ask the question Compared to Who?
It's a collection of stories of discrimination against women, both overt and subtle. I suggest starting with Chapter 10, actions that can be taken by organizations and individuals to reduce discrimination. It helps reveal the bias we all have against women because of expectations that women be helpful and supportive (not driven and successful). A good advice from the book is instead of saying "the person is not a good fit" (which really means the person is not like me), focus on the results that she had achieved and the value she can bring to the organization/job/project. And for anyone (not just women) who had received subjective criticism like "too demanding" or "too emotional," ask the questions "compared to who" and "how has that impacted my results?" Too often, a behavior is given a pejorative label like "aggressive" for a woman, while that exact same behavior is admired in men and labeled "ambitious" and "determined."
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6 people found this helpful
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- MsD Jazzy
- 03-07-24
Our authenticate selves could make powerful changes for every one!
Honest reality of the workplace for women. It's time we start discussing these issues in every company!
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- Jasmine Evans
- 12-31-19
incredibly eye-opening
Alicia captures the complexity of success for women and balancing Likeability with perceived competency perfectly. I found this extremely eye-opening and I learned a lot. I recommend of everyone to read.
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- Lauren M
- 09-20-23
Must read for all.
This isn’t just for the professional women. Book was brought to my attention from my works book club. So grateful to have read this book!
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- Rebecca Zimmer
- 02-15-20
Must Read
Learned so much about my own biases. Must read for women and anyone who manages women. I know this goes against the point of the book, but Alicia is just so likeable! There was one situation she was describing and I started to wonder who had sent her information about me.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jillian Horowitz
- 11-09-20
Insight into the psyche of the professional woman
Easy to listen to, relevant and thought provoking. Definitely caused me to self assess as I listened. Would recommend.
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- Nicole T
- 04-30-24
Good concept and relevant stories.
Preaching to the choir here a bit, and it felt very repetitive at times. Again, good concept but a bit overkill after a while.
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