The Likeability Trap
How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are
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Narrated by:
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Alicia Menendez
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By:
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Alicia Menendez
About this listen
Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likeable. Whatever that means?
Women are stuck in an impossible bind. At work, strong women are criticized for being cold, and warm women are seen as pushovers. An award-winning journalist examines this fundamental paradox and empowers listeners to let go of old rules and reimagine leadership rather than reinventing themselves.
Consider that even competent women must appear likeable to successfully negotiate a salary, ask for a promotion, or take credit for a job well done - and that studies show these actions usually make them less likeable. And this minefield is doubly loaded when likeability intersects with race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and parental status.
Relying on extensive research and interviews, and carefully examined personal experience, The Likeability Trap delivers an essential examination of the pressure put on women to be amiable at work, home, and in the public sphere, and explores the price women pay for internalizing those demands. Rather than advising listeners to make themselves likeable, Menendez empowers them to examine how they perceive themselves and others and explores how the concept of likeability is riddled with cultural biases. Our demands for likeability, she argues, hinder everyone’s progress and power.
Inspiring, thoughtful, and often funny, The Likeability Trap proposes surprising, practical solutions for confronting the cultural patterns holding us back, encourages us to value unique talents and styles instead of muting them, and to remember that while likeability is part of the game, it will not break you.
©2019 Alicia Menendez (P)2019 HarperAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
The Confidence Effect helps women speak out, take risks, and assume leadership positions with assurance. The book moves beyond research and statistics to focus on what's really important: how women can become more confident one step at a time. Practical strategies show how to turn job competency into the kind of authentic confidence that gets noticed. Women learn to practice the "Four Rs of Success" - relationships, reputation, results, and resilience....
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this book is about business, not confidence
- By Amazon Customer on 11-24-18
By: Grace Killelea
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Lead like a Woman
- Gain Confidence, Navigate Obstacles, Empower Others
- By: Deborah Smith Pegues
- Narrated by: Deborah Smith Pegues
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day, whether they’re competing in the business world or serving in a nonprofit, women hear that they’re not enough. They’re too emotional to lead, and the way they act, speak, and even think is detrimental to success. But in Lead like a Woman, former Fortune 500 executive Deborah Smith Pegues shows that your uniquely female qualities can position you for success - if you know how to use them.
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Misleading due to faith
- By Lauren Craft on 05-24-21
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Feminist Fight Club
- An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace
- By: Jessica Bennett
- Narrated by: Jessica Bennett, Bahni Turpin
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
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Part manual, part manifesto, a humorous yet incisive guide to navigating subtle sexism at work - a Lean In for the Buzzfeed generation that provides real-life career advice and humorous reinforcement for a new generation of professional women. Hard hitting and entertaining, Feminist Fight Club blends personal stories with research, statistics, and no-bullsh*t expert advice.
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Awful in so many ways
- By disudds on 01-21-17
By: Jessica Bennett
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How Remarkable Women Lead
- The Breakthrough Model for Work and Life
- By: Joanna Barsh, Susie Cranston, Geoffrey Lewis
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Based on five years of proprietary research, How Remarkable Women Lead speaks to you as no other book has, with its hopeful outlook and unique ideas about success. It's the new "right stuff" of leadership, raising provocative issues such as whether feminine leadership traits (for women and men) are better suited for our fast-changing, hyper-competitive, and increasingly complex world. In this book, McKinsey & Company consultants Joanna Barsh and Susie Cranston establish the links between joy, happiness, and distinctive performance with the groundbreaking model of Centered Leadership.
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Great read for Men & Women
- By yvonne on 08-17-12
By: Joanna Barsh, and others
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The Power of Presence
- Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others
- By: Kristi Hedges
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Everyone recognizes leaders with "presence." They stand out for their seemingly innate ability to command attention and inspire commitment. But what is this secret quality they exude, exactly? Executive and CEO coach Kristi Hedges demystifies this elusive trait, revealing that leadership presence is the intersection of outward influencing skills and internal mental conditioning. Using her I-Presence model, the author shows how anyone-regardless of position or personality-can strengthen their impact.
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Useful Information, Robotic Presentation
- By Jennifer L. Sullivan on 04-22-15
By: Kristi Hedges
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Women Don't Ask
- Negotiation and the Gender Divide
- By: Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
- Narrated by: Sasha Dunbrooke
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When Linda Babcock asked why so many male graduate students were teaching their own courses and most female students were assigned as assistants, her dean said: "More men ask. The women just don't ask." It turns out that whether they want higher salaries or more help at home, women often find it hard to ask.
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Interresting subject, bad delivery.
- By Guilherme on 01-11-14
By: Linda Babcock, and others
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The Secret Handshake
- Mastering the Politics of the Business Inner Circle
- By: Kathleen Kelley Reardon
- Narrated by: Ruth Ann Phimister
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Drawing on interviews with executives from Fortune 500 companies, Kathleen Kelley Reardon has compiled essential advice on how to break into the inner circle of power at the top of the corporate ladder. Many books cover practical business knowledge, but few address the issue of interpersonal skills. The ever-changing circle of power within a corporation may not necessarily follow the same guidelines it publicly professes. The most talented employee isn't always the one promoted; there is an intangible quality the upper echelon look for.
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This book EXCELLENT!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-24
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HR on Purpose
- Developing Deliberate People Passion
- By: Steve Browne
- Narrated by: Steve Browne
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Can you be in HR for more than 30 years and still be geeked out about it? The answer is yes, you can! HR leader and popular Everyday People blogger Steve Browne takes a fresh look at HR through an engaging assortment of real-life examples, insights, and epiphanies and encourages practitioners to drop the preconceptions of what HR should be and instead look to what HR could be. Listen to this book to rekindle your passion for a field that is vibrant and vital and touch the lives of everyone you encounter with HR on Purpose!
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Enjoyable book about the HR profession
- By Rancher on 06-22-19
By: Steve Browne
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Women in Tech
- Take Your Career to the Next Level with Practical Advice and Inspiring Stories
- By: Tarah Wheeler
- Narrated by: Tarah Wheeler
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Geared toward women who are considering getting into tech, or those already in a tech job who want to take their career to the next level, this book combines practical career advice and inspiring personal stories from successful female tech professionals Brianna Wu, Angie Chang, Keren Elazari, Katie Cunningham, Miah Johnson, Kristin Toth Smith, and Kamilah Taylor. Written by a female startup CEO and featuring a host of other successful contributors.
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Fantastic, motivating and superb advice!
- By EuropeanCaliGRL on 12-29-17
By: Tarah Wheeler
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Superbosses
- How Exceptional Leaders Master the Flow of Talent
- By: Sydney Finkelstein
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After meeting chef Alice Waters at her legendary restaurant, Chez Panisse, Sydney Finkelstein got to thinking about the dozens of chefs who had come from her establishment to open their own restaurants and gain notoriety as some of the country's most creative culinary figures. Waters, he found, had spawned a family tree of geniuses. Could this pattern exist in other industries?
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Interesting, but not helpful
- By Ben on 03-12-16
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Bring Your Whole Self to Work
- How Vulnerability Unlocks Creativity, Connection, and Performance
- By: Mike Robbins
- Narrated by: Mike Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In today’s work environment, the lines between our professional and personal lives are blurred more than ever before. Whatever is happening to us outside of our workplace - whether stressful, painful, or joyful - follows us into work as well. We may think we have to keep these realities under wraps and act as if we “have it all together”. But as Mike Robbins explains, we can work better, lead better, and be more engaged and fulfilled if - instead of trying to hide who we are- we show up fully and authentically.
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Great insight! Be Real With Yourself & Others.
- By Mervin Brown on 02-14-19
By: Mike Robbins
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The Power of People Skills
- How to Eliminate 90% of Your HR Problems and Dramatically Increase Team and Company Morale and Performance
- By: Trevor Throness
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
People are the problem. They're always the problem. If a business person goes home frustrated, if they talk with their significant other about it, if they lay awake at night stewing about it, inevitably the problem is some person at work - a colleague, subordinate, or boss. Handling people issues is every leader's major headache. It's what takes up the majority of their time and - more important - the bulk of their head space. Every leader can and must develop this most important of all management skills.
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great listen
- By RB Player on 03-30-18
By: Trevor Throness
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The book is dangerous in a bad way.
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Humans have two basic desires: to stand out and to fit in. Companies respond by creating groups that tend to the extreme - where everyone fits in and no one stands out, or where everyone stands out and no one fits in. How do we find that happy medium where workers can demonstrate their individuality while also feeling they belong? The answer, according to Stefanie Johnson, is to Inclusify.
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Outdated paradigms and novice leadership perspectives
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Where can you turn when your attempts to resolve conflict fail? Most approaches emphasize collaboration. You are supposed to sit down, calmly talk through your differences, and find a solution. But what if nothing seems to work, no matter what you do? When situations resist resolution, the Optimal Outcomes Method teaches us conflict freedom. Optimal Outcomes reveals eight groundbreaking practices proven to help people everywhere free themselves from conflict.
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Regardless of what you want to accomplish, from growing your business, creating a great company culture, championing a social cause, or affecting your habits, you can’t do it alone. The people around you define your success (whatever that means for you) and they have the potential to change the course of your life.
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You’re invited...if you’re liberal
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The book is dangerous in a bad way.
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Outdated paradigms and novice leadership perspectives
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You think your social life could be better. You've felt shy as long as you can remember. Your conversations have more awkward moments than you'd like. Maybe you don't need a ton of friends, but you'd like to have some people to hang out with on occasion. You want to make changes, but you don't know where to start. Lots of people have been in your shoes, so you're hardly a lost cause, and it's never too late to turn things around. The Social Skills Guidebook gives you insights into your interpersonal struggles, and offers hands-on advice for developing and improving....
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For decades, statisticians, social scientists, psychologists, and economists (among them Nobel Prize winners) have spent massive amounts of precious time thinking about whether streaks actually exist. After all, a substantial number of decisions that we make in our everyday lives are quietly rooted in this one question: If something happened before, will it happen again? Is there such a thing as being in the zone? Can someone have a "hot hand"? Or is it simply a case of seeing patterns in randomness? Or, if streaks are possible, where can they be found?
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Well written, but not concise
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Selfless
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Social psychologist and Professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business Brian Lowery argues for the radical idea that the “self” as we know it, does not exist. The self—that “voice in your head”—is a social construct, created in our relationships and social interactions. We are unique because our individual pattern of relationships is unique. We change because our relationships change. Your self isn’t just you, it’s all around you.
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starts off with a bang
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What listeners say about The Likeability Trap
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- David Gettler
- 10-07-22
Great listening and learning
Alicia Menendez shares the tales and troubles faced by her and other modern women in the workforce. As a straught white male, I found it incredibly interesting (and depressing) to hear the horror stories, but it's important for men to hear and learn from books like and that we appreciate how hard it has been for women from day one through today. We can all learn valuable lessons from this book. Thanks for this terrific book, Alicia!
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- Desserai Ann Zinnerman
- 11-14-19
Much appreciated
Alicia Menendez is totally relatable to me. I enjoyed her voice and humor immensely. The subject of the book is something I have struggled with forever and am happy and educated about it from another and the same perspective, if that makes sense, lol. So to say I am very appreciative of the skills of Alicia is an understatement. I am looking forward to following her on her new gig on MSNBC. Kudos,
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- Antawn Fuqua
- 02-08-24
Get another voice actor
Not the best reading. Story is somewhat shallow. The reading feels like it lacks performance. Overall feels very flat.
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- Harwood
- 08-30-20
Worthy reading
Some might think that this is a book that woman should read. While that is true I think many men should read this as well. Especially us white men of privilege as we are often those that create, set, and sustain the trap itself. The timing of this is perfect.
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- A. C.
- 12-28-19
Informative and good advice
I just wish Chapter 10 - which had advice about how to change organizations and yourself - was longer and more fleshed out, and the rest of the book (which identified the problems in painstaking detail) could have been shorter.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-14-21
A must read for men (& women)
Alicia has very aptly highlighted one of the key issues facing women today both professionally and generally in many societies. This book is succinct, serious yet balanced with the right amount of optimism, and as white male listening to it, I found the subject completely relevant and helpful.
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- A. Yoshida
- 12-28-19
Ask the question Compared to Who?
It's a collection of stories of discrimination against women, both overt and subtle. I suggest starting with Chapter 10, actions that can be taken by organizations and individuals to reduce discrimination. It helps reveal the bias we all have against women because of expectations that women be helpful and supportive (not driven and successful). A good advice from the book is instead of saying "the person is not a good fit" (which really means the person is not like me), focus on the results that she had achieved and the value she can bring to the organization/job/project. And for anyone (not just women) who had received subjective criticism like "too demanding" or "too emotional," ask the questions "compared to who" and "how has that impacted my results?" Too often, a behavior is given a pejorative label like "aggressive" for a woman, while that exact same behavior is admired in men and labeled "ambitious" and "determined."
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6 people found this helpful
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- MsD Jazzy
- 03-07-24
Our authenticate selves could make powerful changes for every one!
Honest reality of the workplace for women. It's time we start discussing these issues in every company!
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- Jasmine Evans
- 12-31-19
incredibly eye-opening
Alicia captures the complexity of success for women and balancing Likeability with perceived competency perfectly. I found this extremely eye-opening and I learned a lot. I recommend of everyone to read.
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- Lauren M
- 09-20-23
Must read for all.
This isn’t just for the professional women. Book was brought to my attention from my works book club. So grateful to have read this book!
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