When It's Never About You
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Narrated by:
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Reba Thomas
About this listen
Is being a people-pleaser (a.k.a., conflict avoider, pushover, approval-seeker, doormat, etc.) ruining your life? Do you sometimes feel as if you exist only to satisfy others wants and needs, but never your own? Is your physical, mental, and emotional health suffering as a result?
Everyone loves a people-pleaser. They're always willing to help, to stay late, to fill in, to go along. But if you're one of them, you often end up feeling violated, ignored, disrespected, and disconnected from life and others. Silently enduring the ongoing and relentless invalidation of who you are and what you want will reliably wreak havoc on your health and the health of your relationships.
So, are you ready to put less "Yes" and more "You" in your life?
In When It's Never About You, psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen uses real-world examples and activities to help you take a systemic look at people-pleasing. You'll learn...
- How to reclaim a strong and balanced sense of self while still being a "good person."
- How to break the harmful behavior patterns that keep you from being heard, listened to and respected. Specific strategies for transforming yourself from selfless to "self-full."
- How to go from feeling vanished to being clearly differentiated.
- How to get what you want and need while actually earning even more respect from others.
Tired of disappearing from life? Ready for the pleasing prescription? When It s Never About You will give you the tools and confidence to put yourself first, while bringing the best YOU to those who depend on you!
©2017 Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. (P)2017 Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.Listeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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Emotional Chaos to Clarity
- How to Live More Skillfully, Make Better Decisions, and Find Purpose in Life
- By: Phillip Moffitt
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Despite our best-laid plans, life can often be difficult, disappointing, and stressful. Consequently, when things don’t go right, we are often left in a state of emotional chaos, dealing with feelings like anger, anxiety, frustration, and doubt, which can cloud our perspective and negatively affect the way we live our lives. But in this inspiring book, Phillip Moffitt shows us that we need not be at the mercy of our emotions. By cultivating a responsive mind rather than a reactive one, we can achieve a state of emotional clarity.
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You Are Not Your Emotions
- By Sara on 10-23-14
By: Phillip Moffitt
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The Chimp Paradox
- The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness
- By: Dr. Steve Peters
- Narrated by: Tim Andres Pabon
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Steve Peters explains that we all have a being within our minds that can wreak havoc on every aspect of our lives. He calls this being "the chimp," and it can work either for you or against you. The Chimp Paradox contains an incredibly powerful mind management model that can help you be happier and healthier, increase your confidence, and become a more successful person. This audiobook will help you to recognize how your mind is working, understand and manage your emotions and thoughts, and become the person you would like to be.
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The best way to describe this book is it's an Owners Manual for People.
- By Michael on 08-14-15
By: Dr. Steve Peters
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You Can Be Happy No Matter What
- Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective
- By: Richard Carlson
- Narrated by: Richard Carlson
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
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Most of us believe that our happiness depends on the outside world - and that by solving our problems, improving our relationships, or achieving success, we will find contentment. In You Can Be Happy No Matter What, Dr. Richard Carlson shows that happiness has nothing to do with forces beyond our control. His simple and practical guide teaches 5 principles for discovering a new mode of living that doesn't repress natural emotions, yet where feelings and thoughts don't overwhelm us.
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Important information with
- By Bilgin Esme on 11-21-07
By: Richard Carlson
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Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken
- Transform Your Life With the Power of Authenticity
- By: Mike Robbins
- Narrated by: Mike Robbins
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Learn the power and importance of authenticity; move beyond the fear and limitations that stop you from living truly and bring more authenticity into your work, relationships, and life.Motivational Speaker, Mike Robbins' new audiobook, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken will teach you the principles of authenticity, and give you the exercises and actions to transform your life.
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Worth Listening to
- By Rob Strait on 08-20-12
By: Mike Robbins
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Not Nice
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
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OK Material, but a little Offputting
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Love Dr. Tawwab and her narration.. didn’t realize this was a collection of Instagram stories.
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Insightful book!
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Do you have a toxic family member? Do you feel like cutting ties with this person—even as painful and scary as that may sound—would dramatically increase your well-being and improve your life? You're not alone. In Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members, psychologist and toxic family survivor Sherrie Campbell offers effective strategies for setting strong boundaries after ending contact with a toxic family member, and provides powerful tools to help you heal from shame, self-doubt, and stigma. You'll find the validation you need to embrace your decision with pride.
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Worth the listen
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Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition
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Join the millions who have learned how to take control of their lives by setting healthy boundaries with their spouses, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even themselves—in order to live life to the fullest. In Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend share the lessons they've learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear biblical boundaries. You'll learn the ins and outs of setting the boundaries that will transform your daily life.
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Wonderful but should probably mention religion or the Bible in title
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
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No matter who you’re talking to, The Next Conversation gives you immediately actionable strategies and phrases that will forever change how you communicate. Jefferson Fisher, trial lawyer and one of the leading voices on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true framework that will show you how to transform your life and your relationships by improving your next conversation.
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Don't Believe Everything You Think (Expanded Edition)
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Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. This book offers a completely new paradigm and understanding of where our human experience comes from, allowing us to end our own suffering and create how we want to feel at any moment. Don't Believe Everything You Think is not about rewiring your brain, rewriting your past, or positive thinking. We cannot solve our problems with the same level of consciousness that created them. Tactics are temporary. An expansion of consciousness is permanent.
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Great Insight, Terrible delivery.
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What listeners say about When It's Never About You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lisa F.
- 10-11-19
A different perspective that’s worth listening to
I got a lot out of this book! It gave me a new perspective on my own life and choices and how to better handle conflict and other’s disapproval. It was 100% worth purchasing!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- JOANN L JACQUES
- 04-16-19
Very well written and poignant book for our time
This book was especially helpful to my personal journey towards self autonomy and fulfillment. Dr. Irene’s method of subtlety integrating Eastern Insight/Buddhist psychology into her approach for self differentiation is a breath of fresh air in this venue. Thank-You for writing this book!
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3 people found this helpful
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- bonnie allred
- 11-19-21
Very helpful
I really loved this book. Shes right on point with my people pleasing personality. This book really helped me!
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-17-22
Not sensitive to abuse survivors
The general message that you shouldn't blame toxic people for what they did to you as well as you shouldn't cut toxic people out of your life is off the wall ridiculous. As someone who was emotionally abused as a child, I finally got my power back when I cut out my narcissistic mother. And yes, I'm still angry at her; but I'm healing while still angry. The idea that the two can't coincide is quite ridiculous. Maybe the book got better but I couldn't get past a few chapters.
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1 person found this helpful