Why Do I Do That?
Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives
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Narrated by:
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John Raines
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By:
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Joseph Burgo PhD
About this listen
This is a self-help book for people who don't usually buy self-help books. Instead of offering cognitive-behavioral techniques for dealing with anger, or affirming strategies to boost self-esteem, this self-help book adapts the basic methods of psychodynamic psychotherapy to a guided course in self-exploration, highlighting the universal role of defense mechanisms in warding off emotional pain. Even the best self-help books tend to stay on the surface. Why Do I Do That? instead probes deeply into the unconscious. With easy-to-understand explanations, the first part teaches you about the unconscious mind and the role of psychological defenses in excluding difficult feelings from awareness. Individual chapters in the longer middle section explore the primary defense mechanisms one by one, with exercises to help you identify your own defenses at work. The final part offers guidance for how to "disarm" your defenses and cope more effectively with the unconscious feelings behind them. Psychological defense mechanisms are an inevitable and necessary part of the human experience; but when they become too pervasive or deeply entrenched, they may damage our personal relationships, restrict or distort our emotional lives and prevent us from behaving in ways that promote lasting self-esteem. Why Do I Do That? promotes self-help for listeners who want to improve their relationships, manage their emotional lives more effectively and develop authentic self-esteem that will last. If you find that even the best self-help books lack depth and fail to instigate lasting change, this psychodynamic self-help book may be for you.
©2012 Joseph Burgo (P)2016 Joseph BurgoListeners also enjoyed...
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- Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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How to Love
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Taming Your Outer Child
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Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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Dealing with Toxic People
- A Survival Guide to Deal and Heal from Toxic People, and Empower Yourself to Achieve Big in Life
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- Narrated by: Maria McCann
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
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Dealing with Toxic People is a solution-oriented book that throws light on one of the most important issues in today's world. Listeners will be able to learn every possible technique to help get rid of toxic people in the best possible manner.
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AMAZING, Great Book!
- By Elise Whitehouse on 04-18-23
By: Chris Genson
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You
- By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., Raymond Chip Tafrate PhD, Raymond A. DiGiuseppe - foreword
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
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Anger is universal. Unchecked, it can cause lasting damage in our lives: wrecked relationships, lost jobs, even serious disease. Yet in these increasingly stressful times, all of us have acted in anger - and often wished we hadn't. Is there a way that really works to solve problems and assert ourselves without being angry?
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Another Great Ellis Book
- By M.Biblioswine on 05-19-20
By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., and others
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Poorly written, no references: AVOID
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Very informative
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Negativity is a normal part of life. Nobody can be positive all that time because life isn’t always going to be perfect. That said, sometimes negativity infiltrates our minds and bodies and never leaves. A good day can be ruined by your mind dwelling on something stupid that happened years ago. You sit for hours ruminating over it, and before you realize it, you have wasted a great day. We’ve all had experiences like that, and they suck.
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Very helpful
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Plagiarized
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In today's social media and selfie-obsessed culture, we are living in an age of narcissism - and a society that often celebrates this potentially harmful trait rather than understanding it as a psychological disorder. Scientists are beginning to learn that narcissism exists on a spectrum - much like autism - and most of us exhibit some mild narcissistic tendencies.
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everyone needs to read this book
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What listeners say about Why Do I Do That?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- K the librarian
- 10-31-22
Very Interesting!
This is a book that will be more interesting every time you read or listen to it! Very informative and I think everyone could learn something about themselves from it.
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- Shanda
- 02-24-22
great
this book was great, take the parts that work for you and do your best
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- ChrisM.
- 07-14-24
Interesting to listen to
This book does a great job of analyzing psychological defense mechanisms and explaining them in a way that is relatable.
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- Celt
- 04-15-20
Great book, really interesting & relatable!
Wish there was a recommended works! So I could continue with exploring my self. I mean mainly that I don't think all the questions he provides to ask yourself might not be enough.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Brian
- 11-30-23
Insightful book; should have included a PDF
The book itself is very insightful, but it does itself a disservice by not having an accompanying PDF for the exercises and some of the lists within the book that would be easier to digest in written form.
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- Tina
- 10-22-24
Relatable
Really easy to understand and apply to your life in thoughtful and practical ways. Found myself thinking back on my own shortcomings ha and how to pause and rethink.
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Self-Defense Mechanisms: A Primer
Narration: A bit slow. Recommend increasing download to "1.25."
Content: Clear explanations of the different types of defense-mechanisms, their function and typology.
Note: Object Relations Theory clearly explained. Interesting that so simple a concept has so awkward a name. Must be why so many academics have difficult giving a clear, succinct explanation of Object Relations theory.
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3 people found this helpful
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- G kulkarni
- 11-10-21
highly recommended
I would be re-listening this book quite many number of times. anyone interested in exploring defense mechanisms for self work.. this book will be of great help
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1 person found this helpful
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- zentogo
- 08-16-21
The most insightful no nonsense self-help book
I found this book at just the right time. Wholeheartedly recommended. This book is a no nonsense approach to understanding yourself and your relationships in life. Particularly focusing on our self defense mechanisms and why we seem to always revert to the same way of reacting to situations. Firmly rooted in psychoanalysis , what you learn from this book will certainly augment your analysis sessions. A big take away for me was that self understanding is an ongoing practice like learning a musical instrument, the more you focus on improving the more you will be able to recognize the triggers in your life before they blindside you.
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- Jenny Smith
- 02-09-21
An excellent read
I totally loved this book-informative and enlightening. Thank you so much for writing it.
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