Women Don't Ask
Negotiation and the Gender Divide
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Narrated by:
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Sasha Dunbrooke
About this listen
When Linda Babcock asked why so many male graduate students were teaching their own courses and most female students were assigned as assistants, her dean said: "More men ask. The women just don't ask." It turns out that whether they want higher salaries or more help at home, women often find it hard to ask. Sometimes they don't know that change is possible--they don't know that they can ask. Sometimes they fear that asking may damage a relationship. And sometimes they don't ask because they've learned that society can react badly to women asserting their own needs and desires.
By looking at the barriers holding women back and the social forces constraining them, Women Don't Ask shows women how to reframe their interactions and more accurately evaluate their opportunities. It teaches them how to ask for what they want in ways that feel comfortable and possible, taking into account the impact of asking on their relationships. And it teaches all of us how to recognize the ways in which our institutions, child-rearing practices, and unspoken assumptions perpetuate inequalities--inequalities that are not only fundamentally unfair but also inefficient and economically unsound. With women's progress toward full economic and social equality stalled, women's lives becoming increasingly complex, and the structures of businesses changing, the ability to negotiate is no longer a luxury but a necessity.
Drawing on research in psychology, sociology, economics, and organizational behavior as well as dozens of interviews with men and women from all walks of life, Women Don't Ask is the first book to identify the dramatic difference between men and women in their propensity to negotiate for what they want. It tells women how to ask, and why they should.
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We all want to experience pleasure and avoid pain. But there are really two kinds of pleasure and pain that motivate everything we do. If you are promotion-focused, you want to advance and avoid missed opportunities. If you are prevention-focused, you want to minimize losses and keep things working. And as Tory Higgins has found in his groundbreaking research, if you understand how people focus, you have the power to motivate yourself and everyone around you.
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Pain / Pleasure
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Should have been much much shorter
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A Bigger Prize
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Margaret Heffernan is brilliant!
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Performance
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How important is luck in economic success? No question more reliably divides conservatives from liberals. As conservatives correctly observe, people who amass great fortunes are almost always talented and hardworking. But liberals are also correct to note that countless others have those same qualities yet never earn much. In recent years, social scientists have discovered that chance plays a much larger role in important life outcomes than most people imagine.
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Not what is advertised
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Extreme Blah
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Merger and acquisition activity across the globe continues to grow, and is also playing a major role in the development of expanding markets. A well-managed integration effort is essential to success, and failure means a tremendous waste in terms of time and money, as well as the rapid destruction of shareholder value. The Complete Guide to Mergers and Acquisitions: Process Tools to Support M&A Integration at Every Level, Third Edition is an invaluable resource to guide firms in managing M&A integration and maximize the value of their deals.
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Sales brochure for the authors
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Not exactly what you expect
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Influencer, Second Edition
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Very enlightening
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Good book but not in audio format.
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Every day, whether they’re competing in the business world or serving in a nonprofit, women hear that they’re not enough. They’re too emotional to lead, and the way they act, speak, and even think is detrimental to success. But in Lead like a Woman, former Fortune 500 executive Deborah Smith Pegues shows that your uniquely female qualities can position you for success - if you know how to use them.
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Misleading due to faith
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Generation Me
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In this provocative new book, psychologist and social commentator Dr. Jean Twenge documents the self-focus of what she calls "Generation Me" - people born in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Dr. Twenge explores why her generation is tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious but also cynical, depressed, lonely, and anxious. Dr. Twenge reveals how profoundly different today's young adults are - and makes controversial predictions about what the future holds for them and society as a whole.
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I mostly agree
- By David Hill on 05-25-20
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What listeners say about Women Don't Ask
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Whitney
- 04-08-15
Empowering advice, and an awesome narrator!
My favorite part about this book is that it blames no one, but instead explains the current situation with examples, statistics, and a discussion of what in our society may have caused these ideas in the first place. Then it offers specific advice in how to do your part through actions at home and in the work place (not rallies or writing to your representative) that will not only make your situation better in the current society, but how to start changing society's mind about women for the future. Now get out there and negotiate!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Jason
- 02-12-14
A Motivating Read!
Would you listen to Women Don't Ask again? Why?
I would not listen to this book again only because I felt it was very repetitive. I did, however, bookmark some points I will most likely revisit in the future.
What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?
The scientific research and studies that prove how women are paid less and expected to be paid less. It really encouraged me to ask more for what I want in all aspects of my life without being defensive, but understanding that just because it is expected for me to accept less, does not mean that I have to do so.
Which scene was your favorite?
The whole book had the same effect for me.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
I was really moved when hearing the stories of different women that either benefited from asking or were too afraid to ask for what they wanted and ended up settling for less.
Any additional comments?
This book is really motivating. I purchased it when I started the interview process for a new job. I wanted to make sure I knew to how to negotiate since I was very nervous about the entire topic. I received some really good ideas and was able to negotiate my offer from a 7% increase to a 9% increase. I felt I would not have had the courage to do so without this book! I only gave it 4 stars because it was a bit too repetitive and the narration had a complaining tone at times. Other than that a great read!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Melissa
- 06-10-16
What a great book and a must read for all women.
this book has truly shaken me up in the best possible way. very eye opening and motivating.
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- Kristen J.
- 08-04-17
Empowering!
Great book. Very empowering. Women and men should read it or listen to it! For negotiating advice, both at work and in personal endeavors, this is a must-read. The stories, statistics, and examples make it easy to follow along and understand the concepts in the book.
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- Consuelo
- 02-21-23
Excellent reading
Would recommend to anyone wanting to understand the why negotiations are so important during your career.
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- Gayatri
- 12-23-15
Recommend for every woman out there!
Recommended for every woman out there. All the points indicated resonated with me, and I am sure it would for most of you. Negotiating has always been a problem for me, the impact is being way too huge now that I have started my own business and stepped away from the corporate world. I am hoping this book will help me gradually change that.
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4 people found this helpful
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- snuffanie
- 07-13-15
Worth the read!
This book should be mandatory for all humans. It describes the problem (that women do not negotiate for themselves nearly as often as men do, offers potential explanations for the reasons why this is the current state of the world, and describes the consequences that it has on the world. Many scientific studies and experiments are referenced, as well as many (non-scientific) anecdotes. It does a great job of making its case, and inspired me to negotiate more for myself in my life. It helped give me the confidence to negotiate a 42% raise and a new job offer for myself. The book does not go much into strategies for negotiating, but I plan to read Linda Babcock's next book, which promises to go into more detail on this.
A great read, and an important one. For both women and men.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Felipe Barros
- 10-01-16
Amazing insight especially for men!
Good insight especially for men who never thought about this concept at all! I always wonder why women never said what was on their mind and/or ask what they deeply wanted
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2 people found this helpful
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- Ladylux786
- 06-15-16
what women need to know
make time to listen even snapshots at a time. much useful info. my 18 year old daughter enjoyed listening with me. when I would swop to the radio she'd say no leave it on ...its interesting and I would love to hear more...its helpful.
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- Heather
- 04-25-14
Women and these who love women - Read This!
Eye-opening, inspiring and well-written (and well-narrated), this book is a treasure in Women's studies, and in preparing women to ASK for what they want.
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3 people found this helpful