I Never Thought of It That Way
How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
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Narrated by:
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Mónica Guzmán
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By:
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Mónica Guzmán
About this listen
We think we have the answers, but we need to be asking a lot more questions.
Journalist Mónica Guzmán is the loving liberal daughter of Mexican immigrants who voted - twice - for Donald Trump. When the country could no longer see straight across the political divide, Mónica set out to find what was blinding us and discovered the most eye-opening tool we’re not using: our own built-in curiosity.
Partisanship is up, trust is down, and our social media feeds make us sure we’re right and everyone else is ignorant (or worse). But avoiding one another is hurting our relationships and our society.
In this timely, personal guide, Mónica, the chief storyteller for the national cross-partisan depolarization organization Braver Angels, takes you to the real front lines of a crisis that threatens to grind America to a halt - broken conversations among confounded people. She shows you how to overcome the fear and certainty that surround us to finally do what only seems impossible: understand and even learn from people in your life whose whole worldview is different from or even opposed to yours.
Drawing from cross-partisan conversations she’s had, organized, or witnessed everywhere from the echo chambers on social media to the wheat fields in Oregon to raw, unfiltered fights with her own family on election night, Mónica shows how you can put your natural sense of wonder to work for you immediately, finding the answers you need by talking with people - rather than about them - and asking the questions you want, curiously.
Here, you’ll learn:
- How to ask what you really want to know (even if you’re afraid to)
- How to grow smarter from even the most tense interactions, online or off
- How to cross boundaries and find common ground - with anyone
Whether you’re left, right, center, or not a fan of labels: If you’re ready to fight back against the confusion, heartbreak, and madness of our dangerously divided times - in your own life, at least - Mónica’s got the tools and fresh, surprising insights to prove that seeing where people are coming from isn’t just possible. It’s easier than you think.
©2022 Mónica Guzmán (P)2022 BenBella BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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You believe in a good idea. You know it could make a crucial difference for you, your organization, your community. You present it, hoping for enthusiastic support. Instead, you get confounding questions, inane comments, and verbal bullets. Before you know what’s hit you, your idea is dead, shot down. It doesn’t have to be this way, say John Kotter and Lorne Whitehead. In Buy-In, they reveal how to protect good ideas and win the support needed to deliver valuable results.
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Practical Application
- By Kellie on 05-13-11
By: John P. Kotter, and others
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Faitheist
- How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious
- By: Chris Stedman
- Narrated by: Corey Snow
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The stunning popularity of the “New Atheist” movement - whose most famous spokesmen include Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and the late Christopher Hitchens - speaks to both the growing ranks of atheists and the widespread, vehement disdain for religion among many of them. In Faitheist, Chris Stedman tells his own story to challenge the orthodoxies of this movement and make a passionate argument that atheists should engage religious diversity respectfully.
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Where's the Common Ground ?
- By Susie on 04-29-13
By: Chris Stedman
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Communicating for a Change
- Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication
- By: Andy Stanley
- Narrated by: Lloyd James
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether you speak from the pulpit, podium, or the front of a classroom, you don't need much more than blank stares and faraway looks to tell you you’re not connecting. Take heart before your audience takes leave! You can convey your message in the powerful, life-changing way it deserves to be told. An insightful, entertaining parable that's an excellent guide for any speaker, Communicating for a Change takes a simple approach to delivering effectively.
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A must read for every communicator!
- By Bert on 07-22-14
By: Andy Stanley
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How to Host a Viking Funeral
- The Case for Burning Your Regrets, Chasing Your Crazy Ideas, and Becoming the Person You're Meant to Be
- By: Kyle Scheele
- Narrated by: Kyle Scheele
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Turning 30, artist and speaker Kyle Scheele wanted to do something unusual to mark this milestone. Instead of a birthday bash, he decided to hold a funeral to memorialize the decade of his life that was ending. Building a 16-foot Viking ship out of cardboard, he invited friends to help him set it on fire—a symbolic farewell to his 20s and all the grief, regret, and mistakes that accompanied those years.
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underwhelming
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Kyle Scheele
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Common Ground: Exclusive Edition
- By: Justin Trudeau
- Narrated by: Justin Trudeau, Colm Feore
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Justin Trudeau has spent his life in the public eye. From the moment he was born, the first son of an iconic prime minister and his young wife, Canadians have witnessed the highs and the lows, sharing in his successes and mourning with him during tragic times. But few beyond Justin's closest circle have heard his side of his unique journey. Now, in Common Ground, Justin Trudeau reveals how the events of his life have influenced him and formed the ideals that drive him today.
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Mesmerizing
- By emilia on 05-04-18
By: Justin Trudeau
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Useful Belief
- Because It's Better Than Positive Thinking
- By: Chris Helder
- Narrated by: Chris Helder
- Length: 1 hr and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Useful Belief turns the "be positive" industry upside down with a fresh and modern approach to achievement. Sometimes things in life are not positive. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. If you've had a nightmare of a year, the last thing you want to hear is "Be positive!" Instead, you need an actual strategy to dig yourself out and a truly useful guidebook to show you where to go next. This is that guidebook.
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absolute perfection.
- By Anonymous User on 07-28-21
By: Chris Helder
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Coming Out Atheist
- How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why
- By: Greta Christina
- Narrated by: Greta Christina
- Length: 14 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Coming out as an atheist is a powerful, liberating act. It makes life better for you, for other atheists, and for the world. But telling people you're an atheist can be risky. What are the best ways to do it? And how can we help each other take this step? In this compassionate, friendly, down-to-earth how-to guide, popular author of Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless and blogger Greta Christina, offers concrete strategies and guiding philosophies for coming out as an atheist.
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All the Motivation You'll Need
- By Susie on 05-07-14
By: Greta Christina
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How to Be Black
- By: Baratunde Thurston
- Narrated by: Baratunde Thurston
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be the Black Friend" to "How to Be the (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month". This is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all Black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be".
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Funny yet insightful!
- By Theodore on 02-15-12
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You've Got 8 Seconds
- Communication Secrets for a Distracted World
- By: Paul Hellman
- Narrated by: Paul Hellman
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day at work, people do three things: talk, listen, and pretend to listen. That's not surprising when you consider that the average attention span has dropped to 8 seconds. To break through, says high-stakes communications expert Paul Hellman, you need to focus on your audience, be slightly different, and deliver with finesse.
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I gave him 7200 seconds!
- By Hyytekk on 08-02-19
By: Paul Hellman
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Surrounded by Idiots
- The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)
- By: Thomas Erikson
- Narrated by: David John
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Thomas Erikson explains that there are four key behavior types that define how we interact with and perceive the people around us. Understanding someone’s pattern of behavior is the key to successful communication. Erikson breaks down the four kinds of behavior types - Reds who are dominant and commanding, Yellows who are social and optimistic, Greens who are laid-back and friendly, and Blues who are analytical and precise - and explains how to identify and interact with each type of person.
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Should be titled "why I hate reds"
- By Dave on 08-24-20
By: Thomas Erikson
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Crucial Conversations
- Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
- By: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and others
- Narrated by: Anna Fields
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or check out Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want.
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Probably the worste nagging sounding narrator
- By Alexander on 09-27-21
By: Kerry Patterson, and others
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Thanks for the Feedback
- The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
- By: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Narrated by: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The coauthors of the New York Times best-selling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: How we see ourselves. Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past 15 years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice.
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Poor narration ruins yet another good read
- By WordNerd on 08-25-14
By: Sheila Heen, and others
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Wait, What?
- And Life's Other Essential Questions
- By: James E. Ryan
- Narrated by: James E. Ryan
- Length: 2 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In his commencement address to the graduating class of 2016, James E. Ryan, dean of the Harvard University Graduate School of Education, offered remarkable advice to the crowd of hopeful men and women eager to make their marks on the world. The key to achieving emotional connections and social progress, he told them, can be found in five essential questions.
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Great For Our Jobs, Our Families, Our Lives!
- By Gillian on 05-18-18
By: James E. Ryan
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For innovation and leadership guru Hal Gregersen, the power of questions has always been clear - but it took some years for the follow-on question to hit him: If so much depends on fresh questions, shouldn’t we know more about how to arrive at them? That sent him on a research quest ultimately including more than 200 interviews with creative thinkers. Questions Are the Answer delivers the insights Gregersen gained about the conditions that give rise to catalytic questions - and breakthrough insights - and how anyone can create them.
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All you need is the title
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Everywhere we look, we’re bombarded with millions of ways we can transform ourselves. But while often a worthwhile goal, this drive to be our best selves can also be overwhelming and stressful. Alison Faulkner has been there, and is here to remind us that nothing external can give us worth or value-- we’re already awesome, what we need to do is learn how to recognize our inherent awesomeness and then step into our true power.
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Like the podcast, but on steroids!
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Today, most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and more divided than ever before. The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individuals. And the only way forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other. In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist - and offers simple tools that can improve anyone's communication.
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Our limited and often biased view of what’s considered “normal” often prevents us from recognizing the gifts and brilliance of those who don’t fit a specific mold. Too often we don’t explore and take advantage of the far-reaching gifts and potential of those diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum or neurodiverse. Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel has had vast experience researching Autism Spectrum Disorders—ASD—and working with autistic people of all ages. She has repeatedly witnessed firsthand evidence of great intelligence that hasn’t yet been nurtured or realized.
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Find a balcony
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You don't have to keep striving for freedom - instead, you can live in the freedom you already have in Christ. In this audiobook, Rebekah Lyons walks you through her journey of releasing stress, anxiety, and worry to uncover the peace that comes from Jesus Christ. Have you bought into the lie? So many of us do. We measure our worth by what others think of us. We compare and strive, living our lives for the approval of others. Pressure rises, fear and anxiety creep in, and we hustle to keep up.
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Need author's voice.
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Every one of us contains a billion times more atoms than all the grains of sand in the earth’s deserts. If you weigh 150 pounds, you’ve got enough carbon to make 25 pounds of charcoal, enough salt to fill a saltshaker, enough chlorine to disinfect several backyard swimming pools, and enough iron to forge a 3-inch nail. But how did these elements combine to make us human?
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The Little Book of Lykke
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There are four characters in every story: the victim, the villain, the hero, and the guide. These four characters live inside us. If we play the victim, we’re doomed to fail. If we play the villain, we will not create genuine bonds. But if we play the hero or guide, our lives will flourish. The hard part is being self-aware enough to know which character we are playing. In this book, Donald will use his own experiences to help you recognize if the character you are currently surfacing is helping you experience a life of meaning.
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Modern & Practical Spin on Viktor Frankl’s Work
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Many of us are living with the sense that things are not right with the world, as global problems like the pandemic, the climate crisis, polarization, and social injustice mount, leaving us in a state of spiritual PTSD. We have retreated, morally and psychologically; we are experiencing a crisis of disconnection—from one another, from our true values, from joy, and from life as we feel we are meant to be living it. Sarah Wilson argues that this sense of despair and disconnection is ironically what unites us—that deep down, we are all feeling that same itch for a new way of living.
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A lot about her personal life - very long
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Learned Excellence
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Learn how to perform at your very best, from the psychologist who has advised elite military operators, Olympic medalists, big wave surfers, neurosurgeons, cliff divers, first responders, Cirque du Soleil acrobats, professional athletes and coaches, Fortune 500 business executives, and CIA analysts. Learned Excellence is a comprehensive and practical guide to the mental disciplines of high performance, from the expert who developed the US Navy SEALs mental toughness curriculum and has worked with thousands of top athletes, elite military personnel, business executives, and first responders.
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Loved - Efficiently describes steps to be Excellent
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Creativity Rules
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Listeners will learn how to work through the four steps of The Invention Cycle: Imagination (envisioning things that do not yet exist), Creativity (applying your imagination to address a challenge), Innovation (applying creativity to generate unique solutions), and Entrepreneurship (applying innovation to bring ideas to fruition, where our ideas then gain the power to inspire the imaginations of others). Using each step to build upon the last, you can create something complex, interesting, and powerful.
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it's a RePEAT / ReRUN of her 2015 "INSIGHT OUT"
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What listeners say about I Never Thought of It That Way
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Frank Gaughen
- 04-27-22
Great read!
I really enjoyed the book. it definitely helped me think about things differently. Great discussion and thoughts. i loved the exampkes and can defintiely see myself rereading. Great stuff
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- Bruce Richard Fox
- 04-10-22
Helpful book for our polarization crisis
I give this book five stars because the United States doesn’t feel so united these days and this book offers helpful tools to bridge the political divide. Doing so helps us to maintain, strengthen, and repair our existing relationships and to form new ones with people who have walked different paths and have different values and perspectives. Guzmán calls polarization “the monster that convinces us that we are the monsters” and she provides an explanation of how we have gotten where we are and lots of road-tested ideas for talking to folks we disagree with. Guzmán is left of the political center, but she is very close with her parents, who are on the right. My favorite section of the book is the one about values, how we all have them and how their relative order of importance is behind our different views. By the way, if you are interested in this important work, check out Braver Angels, the largest organization of people on opposite sides of the political divide working to depolarize the country.
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- Stephanie
- 02-27-23
Convivir. Because coexisting is simply not enough.
I read this after a very difficult break up that led me to finding out that I was missing very critical tools in my tool belt for communication and understanding the other person, and making them feel seen. It Gave me a new framework to build from and start over again, and having a better life experience and connecting with other people. I highly recommend this read, this audiobook to anybody trying to connect and trying to bridge the gap, bridge to divide in their circles.
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- Pedro Ibarra
- 09-06-24
INTOIT
Literally made me think of things a different way but doesn’t make me agree with them just understand them.
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- Crockett
- 06-26-22
Fantastic and Timely
The author does a great job explaining practical ways to communicate by coming from a place of learning. I'll be listening a second time. This time, though, with a pen and notepad.
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- Daryl
- 01-27-23
The art of conversation is lost
I loved this book because I hate written rules. In today's world we want a law for everything, because we don't really speak about anything, instead digging in our heels.
Monica lays out a road map back to conversation without (trying to ) offend the "other". I hope I can remember the tips laid out here when I'm in the heat of the moment.
The art of conversation is lost.....no more.
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- E. G. Leavitt
- 03-15-24
great tips
good book, well written and good tips! I enjoyed the book and definitely recommend.
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- Carrie
- 10-04-22
Great insight, suggestions and energy.
Learned a ton about how to be curious, how to call out the elephant in the room with less judgement.
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- Tara Peyman
- 05-26-23
A much needed book during these times!
I have talked about this book to so many of my friends. It’s a great way to help bring understanding and increase the chance of productive cooperation and collaboration in such a divisive, polarized world. All of our elected officials need to read this book!
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- Rebecca A Velinsky
- 06-30-24
The best book ever
This book is amazing and helped me with my social skills. Thank you so much Mónica Guzmán
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