
Come Together
The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
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Narrated by:
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Emily Nagoski PhD
About this listen
From the New York Times bestselling author of Come as You Are and co-author of Burnout comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life in a long-term relationship.
“Emily Nagoski is a national treasure—helping us all understand how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed
In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships.
Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true.
So, what is true? Come Together isn’t about how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex “should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them. You’ll learn:
• that “spontaneous desire” is not the kind of desire to strive for if you want to have great sex for decades
• vocabulary for talking with partners about ways to get in “the mood” and how to not take it personally when “the mood” is nowhere to be found
• how to understand your own and your partner’s “emotional floorplan,” so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind
Written with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what to do when struggles arise.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of visuals and resources from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Emily Nagoski, PhD (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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“Come Together is wise and deeply comforting. Once again, Emily Nagoski is dismantling myths about sexuality and giving everyone permission to discover what is already true and love what they discover.”—Angela Chen, author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
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hoped for more on why bias and how to avoid it
- By Pavan Ongole on 04-04-19
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Shine
- How Looking Inward Is the Key to Unlocking True Entrepreneurial Freedom
- By: Gino Wickman, Rob Dube
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Driven entrepreneurs often have a burning need to succeed. But that same relentless brilliance that propels them in their career often takes a toll on their teams, personal relationships, and even their health. Gino Wickman, bestselling author of Traction, teams up with mindfulness expert Rob Dube to share their journeys and help listeners strike a crucial balance between their inner and outer worlds while taking their success to new heights. In Shine, they share ten disciplines to help them stay sharp and energetic without burning out.
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Deep thinking.. a wonderful SHINING guide
- By Jenn Vodrazka on 04-12-24
By: Gino Wickman, and others
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Burnout
- The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and teach us how to fight back.
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Solid Book with a Single Exception
- By Kris on 08-22-19
By: Emily Nagoski PhD, and others
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Come as You Are
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible.
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Positive, Encouraging, Exciting
- By Kendra Holliday on 01-31-16
By: Emily Nagoski
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In Defense of Troublemakers
- The Power of Dissent in Life and Business
- By: Charlan Nemeth
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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We've decided by consensus that consensus is good. In In Defense of Troublemakers, psychologist Charlan Nemeth argues that this principle is completely wrong: left unchallenged, the majority opinion is often biased, unoriginal, or false. It leads planes and markets to crash, causes juries to convict innocent people, and can quite literally make people think blue is green. In the name of comity, we embrace stupidity. We can make better decisions by embracing dissent. Dissent forces us to question the status quo, consider more information, and engage in creative decision-making.
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A Good Review of Group Thinking
- By J. Justice on 03-20-24
By: Charlan Nemeth
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Joyful
- By: Ingrid Fetell Lee
- Narrated by: Ingrid Fetell Lee
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In Joyful, designer Ingrid Fetell Lee explores how the seemingly mundane spaces and objects we interact with every day have surprising and powerful effects on our mood. Drawing on insights from neuroscience and psychology, she explains why one setting makes us feel anxious or competitive while another fosters acceptance and delight—and, most importantly, she reveals how we can harness the power of our surroundings to live fuller, healthier, and truly joyful lives.
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Boring read of an interesting book
- By Angela Sauer on 12-02-19
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Captivating
- Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
- By: John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women: setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking audiobook shows listeners the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be.
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This will change you
- By “Me” on 10-31-15
By: John Eldredge, and others
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What Makes Love Last?
- How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
- By: Nan Silver, John M. Gottman
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His 35 years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: trust.
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Really Good.
- By Ken Corbett on 10-08-12
By: Nan Silver, and others
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Why Good Sex Matters
- Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life
- By: Nan Wise
- Narrated by: Nan Wise PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In Why Good Sex Matters, Wise not only reveals the fundamental problem in how we think about sex and pleasure but also how we arrived at this problematic relationship to begin with. This fascinating book helps us reclaim our innate capacity for joy, fun, exuberance, curiosity, and humor, while showing how reaching our sexual potential makes us smarter, happier, and more productive people. Ultimately, it reveals how a new understanding of sex can lead to a more expansive experience of pleasure in all aspects of our lives.
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An Excellent Read/Listen for Everyone
- By Anastasia L. on 09-06-20
By: Nan Wise
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In Each Other's Care
- A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them
- By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Lin Chen
- Narrated by: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Andrew Pike, Dagny Chika, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.
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I love Tatkin’s work and message.
- By Phil H on 07-04-23
By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, and others
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t
- 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness
- By: Andrea Owen
- Narrated by: Andrea Owen
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t is a straight-shooting self-improvement guide for women, one that offers frank advice about the most common self-destructive behaviors women engage in. Andrea Owen—a nationally sought-after life coach—crystallizes what’s behind several invisible, undermining habits, from catastrophizing and people-pleasing to listening to the imposter complex or to one’s inner critic. Powerfully on the mark, the chapters are short and digestible, nicely bypassing weighty examinations in favor of punch points of awareness.
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A review on general behavioral patterns
- By Karen Goldsmith on 04-20-18
By: Andrea Owen
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Living an Examined Life
- By: James Hollis PhD
- Narrated by: Kevin M. Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you define “growing up?” Does it mean you achieve certain cultural benchmarks - a steady income, paying taxes, marriage, and children? Or does it mean leaving behind the expectations of others and growing into the person you were meant to be? Here acclaimed author James Hollis guides you through 21 areas for self-inquiry and growth - such as how to exorcise the ghosts of your past, when to choose meaning over happiness, how to construct a mature spirituality, and how to seize permission to be who you really are.
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Extraordinary compilation of Dr. Hollis' works
- By Joseph on 02-17-18
By: James Hollis PhD
What listeners say about Come Together
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah
- 02-11-24
Amazing presentation of such a helpful roadmap
Emily is a great narrator and you can hear her underline certain concepts so they really pop out. After listening to this, now I’m buying the hardback so I can underline it myself. Astounding compilation of work. Well done.
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- Garry B.
- 06-19-24
Everyone should read this.
This is a must-read for everyone. Dr. Emily is extremely articulate and delivers complex and fraught topics in a way that is approachable, compassionate and humorous. I
Love how inclusive the book is as well.
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- Inquiry Mama
- 05-16-24
Outstanding relationship book
I liked how utterly surprised I was that this book was only about sex about 50%. All of it was about our relationship to ourselves, partners and society. I adored the author reading her own book. I might turn right around and relisten. I did buy a paper copy too because I wanted access to some of the more technical.descriptions, like the Emotional Floorplan and the Handbooks, Boy and Girl.
I also look forward to reading her co-authored book soon.
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- Judy J
- 11-27-24
Best Sex Educator
Come Together is a stunning and in-depth guide of what you and your partner(s) can do to spice things up. Emily Nagoski, PhD does such an amazing job of making the research relatable. I knew I wanted to read this because of her other wildly popular book, Come as You Are. After reading this, I will now be turning to her first book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
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- Sarah B.
- 03-02-24
Great read
A thoughtful reflection on gender dynamics and their influence in the bedroom. 10/10 would recommend 🙂
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- KAC
- 03-13-24
Great life advice, not just sex advice!
Like all of Emily's books, this book offers great info on living human life, in a human body, in relation to other humans. The sex info is wonderful (pleasure is the measure!) but the chapters on emotional understanding, gender, living in changing bodies make the book invaluable (and applicable to ALL areas of life).
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- K. Fee
- 02-02-24
Very Informative and an Easy Listen
Nice balance of research and explanation. It was easy to listen to, and the information is so well presented. It gives me a lot to think about and consider for myself. I appreciate the inclusivity.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-13-24
Soul and Body Freeing
What an incredible journey this book takes you on. The science is insightful and well researched. my favorite part about all of her books is that she's her authentic self in regards to own experiences no bullishit fooder in order to fill her books. she includes other resources such as other great authors as well.
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- Victor Vanzinetti
- 10-03-24
Remarkable!
Absolutely valuable life changing advice. My connection with my woman has become more enjoyable and better se.ually.
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- Sil
- 04-19-24
Good but
Definitely insightful but I feel like could have been much much shorter than it is.
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