
Come Together
The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
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Narrated by:
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Emily Nagoski PhD
About this listen
From the New York Times bestselling author of Come as You Are and co-author of Burnout comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life in a long-term relationship.
“Emily Nagoski is a national treasure—helping us all understand how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives.”—Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed
In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships.
Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true.
So, what is true? Come Together isn’t about how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex “should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them. You’ll learn:
• that “spontaneous desire” is not the kind of desire to strive for if you want to have great sex for decades
• vocabulary for talking with partners about ways to get in “the mood” and how to not take it personally when “the mood” is nowhere to be found
• how to understand your own and your partner’s “emotional floorplan,” so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind
Written with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what to do when struggles arise.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of visuals and resources from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Emily Nagoski, PhD (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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“Come Together is wise and deeply comforting. Once again, Emily Nagoski is dismantling myths about sexuality and giving everyone permission to discover what is already true and love what they discover.”—Angela Chen, author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
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-
Story
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
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Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
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Burnout
- The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and teach us how to fight back.
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Solid Book with a Single Exception
- By Kris on 08-22-19
By: Emily Nagoski PhD, and others
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Come as You Are
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible.
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Positive, Encouraging, Exciting
- By Kendra Holliday on 01-31-16
By: Emily Nagoski
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Better Sex Through Mindfulness
- How Women Can Cultivate Desire
- By: Lori A. Brotto PhD, Emily Nagoski PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Celeste Oliva
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Better Sex Through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a groundbreaking approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside - and outside of - the bedroom.
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Mindfulness is good for so many things!
- By noriko on 07-31-19
By: Lori A. Brotto PhD, and others
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Arousal
- The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies
- By: Dr. Michael J. Bader
- Narrated by: Eric Altheide
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.
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The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy
- Learn to Avoid the Dead Bedroom, Eliminate the Resentment, and Relight the Libido in Your Relationship
- By: Andrew Glover
- Narrated by: Megan Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It can be hard when you are the partner with a higher sex drive. You can be left feeling rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and confused–and it’s likely your spouse doesn’t even realize you feel this way. And if you are the partner with the lower drive, you feel guilty, pressured, and frustrated, not sure how to move past this roadblock.
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Enlightening
- By Aries Johnson on 03-31-23
By: Andrew Glover
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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski, Nicholas Boulton
- Length: 11 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
-
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Usless!!!
- By tammy on 03-04-21
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Burnout
- The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things - and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against - and teach us how to fight back.
-
-
Solid Book with a Single Exception
- By Kris on 08-22-19
By: Emily Nagoski PhD, and others
-
Come as You Are
- The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- By: Emily Nagoski
- Narrated by: Emily Nagoski
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible.
-
-
Positive, Encouraging, Exciting
- By Kendra Holliday on 01-31-16
By: Emily Nagoski
-
Better Sex Through Mindfulness
- How Women Can Cultivate Desire
- By: Lori A. Brotto PhD, Emily Nagoski PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Celeste Oliva
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Better Sex Through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a groundbreaking approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside - and outside of - the bedroom.
-
-
Mindfulness is good for so many things!
- By noriko on 07-31-19
By: Lori A. Brotto PhD, and others
-
Arousal
- The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies
- By: Dr. Michael J. Bader
- Narrated by: Eric Altheide
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences.
-
The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy
- Learn to Avoid the Dead Bedroom, Eliminate the Resentment, and Relight the Libido in Your Relationship
- By: Andrew Glover
- Narrated by: Megan Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It can be hard when you are the partner with a higher sex drive. You can be left feeling rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and confused–and it’s likely your spouse doesn’t even realize you feel this way. And if you are the partner with the lower drive, you feel guilty, pressured, and frustrated, not sure how to move past this roadblock.
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Enlightening
- By Aries Johnson on 03-31-23
By: Andrew Glover
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The Burnout Workbook
- Advice and Exercises to Help You Unlock the Stress Cycle
- By: Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Narrated by: Amelia Nagoski DMA
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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We all want to achieve wellness. But wellness is not a state of mind or a state of being—it’s a state of action. It’s the freedom to oscillate through all the cycles of being human: from effort to rest, sleeping to waking, autonomy to connection. Burnout, on the other hand, happens when we get stuck. The Burnout Workbook will help you notice when you get stuck and show you how to get unstuck with stories, quotes and more!
By: Emily Nagoski PhD, and others
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The Loves of Theodore Roosevelt
- The Women Who Created a President
- By: Edward F. O'Keefe
- Narrated by: Edward F. O'Keefe
- Length: 14 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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A dazzling and lyrical look at the making of one of America’s most remarkable presidents, The Loves of Theodore Roosevelt celebrates five extraordinary yet unsung women who opened the door to the American Century and pushed Theodore Roosevelt through it.
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A fresh take on TR
- By Maria on 05-29-24
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The Modern Guide to Sex
- By: Georgia Grace
- Narrated by: Georgia Grace
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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From acclaimed sex expert Georgia Grace, The Modern Guide to Sex is the ultimate handbook for experiencing full-body pleasure, sexual confidence and fulfilling relationships. It's the new go-to sex guide for everyone.
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Comforting and Educational
- By RebmaLou on 02-12-25
By: Georgia Grace
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Smart Sex
- How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
- By: Emily Morse
- Narrated by: Emily Morse
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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From the host of the #1 podcast Sex with Emily, Emily Morse, comes a revolutionary new book that reframes our relationship to pleasure and teaches us how to reset our sex lives. Dr. Emily Morse has been dubbed “the Dr. Ruth of a new generation” (New York Times) and has helped millions of people navigate the world of sex and relationships. In The Pleasure Book, she condenses all she’s learned as a doctor of human sexuality and offers a groundbreaking framework that will change the way you think about sex.
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to much woke term to be listenable
- By Aart on 08-08-23
By: Emily Morse
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Love Worth Making
- How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
- By: Stephen Snyder
- Narrated by: Stephen Snyder
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Stephen Snyder's unique approach has helped over 1,500 individuals and couples master the erotic challenges of long-term relationships. Integrating the latest research on human sexuality with compelling stories from his 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples, Love Worth Making will help people of all ages and backgrounds master their sexual feelings and enjoy them for life.
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Try “Come As You Are” instead
- By Kathleen Rice on 07-20-18
By: Stephen Snyder
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Passionista
- The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
- By: Ian Kerner
- Narrated by: Ian Kerner
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In the smash hit She Comes First, Ian Kerner singlehandedly waged battle against male sexual "ill-cliteracy," and women everywhere benefited from his "viva la vulva" philosophy of female pleasure. Now, in Passionista, it's time to learn all about what turns men on—and makes them stay on. In this point-by-point, "blow-by-blow" guide, Kerner makes giving as much fun as receiving as he covers every angle of male sexuality, unlocks the secrets of satisfaction, and offers knowledgeable answers to the questions every woman wonders about.
By: Ian Kerner
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Mating in Captivity
- Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
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Slices of life
- By Eric on 12-03-18
By: Esther Perel
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Hiperagotadas
- By: Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski
- Narrated by: Neshme Delgadillo
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Bestseller por The New York Times. "Necesitas descansar". ¿Cuántas veces has escuchado esto? Quizá lo has pensado o te lo dijo alguien después de oír tus quejas sobre el trabajo, tu pareja y las labores del hogar. Clases de yoga, jugos verdes, rutinas de ejercicio: nada es suficiente para sentirte mejor. "Estar bien" se ha vuelto una tarea más en la lista interminable de pendientes. ¿Te sientes sobrepasada y exhausta, y aun así piensas que no estás haciendo lo suficiente? Tranquila, no estás sola. Esto es un síndrome y se llama burnout.
By: Emily Nagoski, and others
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Candy Darling
- Dreamer, Icon, Superstar
- By: Cynthia Carr
- Narrated by: Justin Vivian Bond
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up on Long Island, lonely and quiet and queer, she was enchanted by Hollywood starlets like Kim Novak. She found her turn in New York’s early Off-Off-Broadway theater scene, in Warhol’s films Flesh and Women in Revolt, and at the famed nightclub Max's Kansas City. She inspired songs by Lou Reed and the Rolling Stones. She became friends with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, borrowed a dress from Lauren Hutton, posed for Richard Avedon, and performed alongside Tennessee Williams in his own play.
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Thee candy darling’s bibile
- By Anile on 04-15-24
By: Cynthia Carr
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Desire
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships
- By: Lauren Fogel Mersy, Jennifer A. Vencill
- Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Desire invites listeners of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures to shed the shame and misinformation that surround the topic of sex and instead learn from 2 certified sex therapists about how libido really works. Desire differences are one of the most common relationship issues, yet, with fewer than 1,100 certified sex therapists in the country, it can be difficult to find help. This essential book breaks the mold of the sex self-help genre, which typically focuses only on cisgender women.
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Unoriginal
- By Rcd on 10-10-23
By: Lauren Fogel Mersy, and others
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Medea me cantó un corrido
- By: Dahlia de la Cerda
- Narrated by: Irene Azuela, Maya Zapata, Astrid Mariel Romo, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Medea me cantó un corrido se conforma de seis relatos breves que Medea, la protagonista, conecta a través de su paso por la vida de diversas mujeres que enfrentan una vida compleja, violenta y ajena a sus propias decisiones y deseos en muchos casos. Medea se conecta con estas mujeres, se refleja en ellas y extiende su mano para ayudarlas, acompañarlas y mostrarle a sus lectoras y lectores que la suerte y el destino muchas veces dependen del entorno, pero que pueden ser ganadas entre nosotras.
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A must!
- By Stella M Villalba on 03-27-25
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She Comes First
- The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
- By: Ian Kerner
- Narrated by: Ian Kerner
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue.
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Women are hot for this book
- By Paul D Alexander on 11-28-05
By: Ian Kerner
What listeners say about Come Together
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah
- 02-11-24
Amazing presentation of such a helpful roadmap
Emily is a great narrator and you can hear her underline certain concepts so they really pop out. After listening to this, now I’m buying the hardback so I can underline it myself. Astounding compilation of work. Well done.
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- Garry B.
- 06-19-24
Everyone should read this.
This is a must-read for everyone. Dr. Emily is extremely articulate and delivers complex and fraught topics in a way that is approachable, compassionate and humorous. I
Love how inclusive the book is as well.
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- Inquiry Mama
- 05-16-24
Outstanding relationship book
I liked how utterly surprised I was that this book was only about sex about 50%. All of it was about our relationship to ourselves, partners and society. I adored the author reading her own book. I might turn right around and relisten. I did buy a paper copy too because I wanted access to some of the more technical.descriptions, like the Emotional Floorplan and the Handbooks, Boy and Girl.
I also look forward to reading her co-authored book soon.
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- Judy J
- 11-27-24
Best Sex Educator
Come Together is a stunning and in-depth guide of what you and your partner(s) can do to spice things up. Emily Nagoski, PhD does such an amazing job of making the research relatable. I knew I wanted to read this because of her other wildly popular book, Come as You Are. After reading this, I will now be turning to her first book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
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- KAC
- 03-13-24
Great life advice, not just sex advice!
Like all of Emily's books, this book offers great info on living human life, in a human body, in relation to other humans. The sex info is wonderful (pleasure is the measure!) but the chapters on emotional understanding, gender, living in changing bodies make the book invaluable (and applicable to ALL areas of life).
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- Sarah B.
- 03-02-24
Great read
A thoughtful reflection on gender dynamics and their influence in the bedroom. 10/10 would recommend 🙂
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- K. Fee
- 02-02-24
Very Informative and an Easy Listen
Nice balance of research and explanation. It was easy to listen to, and the information is so well presented. It gives me a lot to think about and consider for myself. I appreciate the inclusivity.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-13-24
Soul and Body Freeing
What an incredible journey this book takes you on. The science is insightful and well researched. my favorite part about all of her books is that she's her authentic self in regards to own experiences no bullishit fooder in order to fill her books. she includes other resources such as other great authors as well.
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- Victor Vanzinetti
- 10-03-24
Remarkable!
Absolutely valuable life changing advice. My connection with my woman has become more enjoyable and better se.ually.
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- Sil
- 04-19-24
Good but
Definitely insightful but I feel like could have been much much shorter than it is.
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