So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Audiobook By Ian Kerner PhD LMFT cover art

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives

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So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

By: Ian Kerner PhD LMFT
Narrated by: Ian Kerner PhD LMFT
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About this listen

Renowned sex therapist and New York Times best-selling author Ian Kerner shares the unique and indispensable program he uses to help thousands of couples achieve more intimacy and better sex.

Dr. Ian Kerner is a Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom - a sexual detective helping individuals and couples solve the mystery of their sexual distress. His secret weapon? Informed curiosity. Kerner has perfected the art of the “sex script analysis”, a method of inquiry to examine your sex life in action moment by moment. In those details - the what, where, when, and why of your last sexual experience - all the clues of what went wrong are laid bare and the mystery of how to create mutual pleasure can be solved. When our sex scripts work, we let go into arousal and lose ourselves in pleasure. But when the sex script fails, it’s all we can do not to ruminate over the details. Sometimes you can be lying in bed right next to someone and feel a million miles apart. In those moments of silent desperation, the sex script is our guide to everything happening between the sheets and beneath the surface.

With wit and warmth, the nationally recognized sex therapist and author of the smash hit She Comes First uses his tried-and-true techniques and tools to show listeners how to tap into their erotic personalities and realize their sexual potential. He’ll help you figure out what’s working and what’s not in your sex script and discuss many common sexual problems, from low desire and mismatched libidos to male and female sexual function issues, that may be interfering with your sex life. With the help of decades of clinical insight, the latest sexual science and research, valuable homework assignments, and more, this insightful and original book strips away discomfort and gives listeners the ability to not just talk about sex openly and knowingly, but to actually do something about it.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Ian Kerner (P)2021 Grand Central Publishing
Personal Development Sex Instruction
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Critic reviews

“From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh sexy solutions to classic sex problems.” (Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity)

"Even in therapy, sex seems like the one topic people need to talk about most but don't know how. Thankfully, renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner has come to the rescue for everyone who has wanted more out of their erotic life but felt stuck, confused, or just plain frustrated. Combining decades of clinical research and real people's stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page." (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

"Ian Kerner is a voice of equal parts compassion and logic. He speaks equally to men and to women, equally to people with great sex lives and people who are struggling. Ian's work is essential in the world of sex positive writing." (Emily Nagoski, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of Come As You Are and Burnout)

What listeners say about So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

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Game changing book

Ian Kerner is such a treasure trove of insight. As I navigate the dissolution of my marriage and look ahead to a future of new relationships, I looked to this book to gain insights on what I can improve about myself and how I relate to others. This book gave me everything I sought and more. I can already say it has immediately helped me connect better with others in every sense, not just sexually. I can’t wait to put his exercises into practice.

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Some helpful tips, but sold out to destructive modern sexual ethics

The general idea of the book is good, but there is no moral grounding that leads helpful responses wander off into unhealthy sexual behaviors currently in vogue in our corner of world history.

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His disdain for cis hetero males

I really wanted to like Ian Kerner’s books because they are often recommended to people like me who would like to improve their sex lives. When I say “people like me” I’m a straight male in a relationship with a straight female. Yet when I read this, I just get this sense that he does not like hetero males (even though he says he is one) and has more fondness and empathy for the gay couples in this book. I just felt like he kept accusing me of things i was not, just because I’m a hetero male.

That being said, I appreciate the information in the book about sex scripts. That felt like worthwhile, useful information to think about when having sex. It’s a tool that I think people would find useful learning about in this book and then discussing it more with a therapist and sex therapist.

Lastly, I really wish this dude would stop narrating his own books. I just find his voice annoying, like getting sex advice from a high schooler selling me popcorn at the movie box office. His voice sounds like what I imagine Jared Kushner’s voice sounds like.

So I would recommend this book definitely to women and gay couples, and slightly less so to straight men. After listening to both this and reading She Comes First, yes it’s good information (conveniently in one place, but nothing absolutely new or groundbreaking) I’m still wishing I could find a sex self-help writer who doesn’t make me feel ashamed to be a straight male.

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