So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex
Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives
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Narrated by:
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Ian Kerner PhD LMFT
About this listen
Renowned sex therapist and New York Times best-selling author Ian Kerner shares the unique and indispensable program he uses to help thousands of couples achieve more intimacy and better sex.
Dr. Ian Kerner is a Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom - a sexual detective helping individuals and couples solve the mystery of their sexual distress. His secret weapon? Informed curiosity. Kerner has perfected the art of the “sex script analysis”, a method of inquiry to examine your sex life in action moment by moment. In those details - the what, where, when, and why of your last sexual experience - all the clues of what went wrong are laid bare and the mystery of how to create mutual pleasure can be solved. When our sex scripts work, we let go into arousal and lose ourselves in pleasure. But when the sex script fails, it’s all we can do not to ruminate over the details. Sometimes you can be lying in bed right next to someone and feel a million miles apart. In those moments of silent desperation, the sex script is our guide to everything happening between the sheets and beneath the surface.
With wit and warmth, the nationally recognized sex therapist and author of the smash hit She Comes First uses his tried-and-true techniques and tools to show listeners how to tap into their erotic personalities and realize their sexual potential. He’ll help you figure out what’s working and what’s not in your sex script and discuss many common sexual problems, from low desire and mismatched libidos to male and female sexual function issues, that may be interfering with your sex life. With the help of decades of clinical insight, the latest sexual science and research, valuable homework assignments, and more, this insightful and original book strips away discomfort and gives listeners the ability to not just talk about sex openly and knowingly, but to actually do something about it.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Ian Kerner (P)2021 Grand Central PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh sexy solutions to classic sex problems.” (Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity)
"Even in therapy, sex seems like the one topic people need to talk about most but don't know how. Thankfully, renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner has come to the rescue for everyone who has wanted more out of their erotic life but felt stuck, confused, or just plain frustrated. Combining decades of clinical research and real people's stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page." (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
"Ian Kerner is a voice of equal parts compassion and logic. He speaks equally to men and to women, equally to people with great sex lives and people who are struggling. Ian's work is essential in the world of sex positive writing." (Emily Nagoski, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of Come As You Are and Burnout)
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, Donna Eden and David Feinstein (authors of Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine for Women) draw on the real-life experiences of couples who have attended their popular "Energies of Love" workshops, as well as their own relationship as husband and wife, to show how an understanding of your energy system and that of your partner can help you build a more harmonious and loving bond.
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If Only
- By Brenda on 07-14-15
By: Donna Eden, and others
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Mating in Captivity
- Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
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Slices of life
- By Eric on 12-03-18
By: Esther Perel
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The Sexually Confident Wife
- Connect With Your Husband in Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit
- By: Shannon Ethridge
- Narrated by: Shannon Ethridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Every woman deserves to enjoy great sex with her husband, without inhibition or shame. But many wives live with the burden of self-doubt or feel mystified about what men really want in bed. Others wrestle with memories of sexual abuse or neglect, guilt over past intimate relationships, or negative feelings about their own bodies. Maybe you’ve been thinking you were alone in your struggle to discover sexual fulfillment.
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Christian based. Not obvious in the title or description.
- By Tony on 02-26-21
By: Shannon Ethridge
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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Designer Relationships
- A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships
- By: Mark A. Michaels, Patricia Johnson
- Narrated by: Lyssa Browne
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Contemporary relationships are in a state of rapid evolution. These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute's Polyamory Archive, has called designer relationships. The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change.
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Open Minded? Give this a go.
- By Anonymous User on 02-14-18
By: Mark A. Michaels, and others
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Quantum Love
- Use Your Body's Atomic Energy to Create the Relationship You Desire
- By: Laura Berman Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Berman Ph.D.
- Length: 11 hrs and 49 mins
- Abridged
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Quantum Love is the best possible experience of love, and it's available to absolutely everyone, whether you're seeking a mate, in a relationship that's struggling, or just finding that love has turned lackluster through the stresses of life. You can't go back to the honeymoon phase, but there is something so much better within your reach. Quantum Love lets you reach new heights of intimacy as you gain a fuller sense of purpose in life and love.
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Life-altering book
- By Hailey on 08-02-21
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Religion-based.
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Great advice!
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you're ok, I'm ok, we're all ok but...
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Try “Come As You Are” instead
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If I were ten Years Old...
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Married Sex
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Written by best-selling author Gary Thomas and licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta, Married Sex brings together biblical truth, fascinating research, real-life questions, and practical ideas to help you find greater spiritual and physical joy with your spouse than ever before.
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Straight talk about married sex that’s grounded in Biblical Truth and wisdom!
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The Erotic Mind
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Challenging accepted theories about what makes for terrific sex, The Erotic Mind is a breakthrough exploration of the least understood dimensions of human sexuality - the psychology of desire, arousal, and fulfillment. Sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin offers a new perspective that celebrates the joys of Eros without denying its risks. Based on an in-depth analysis of over 1,000 provocative stories of peak sexual experiences, The Erotic Mind offers clear, accessible guidance on how anyone can utilize their own peak encounters and fantasies as powerful tools of self-discovery.
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The BEST book in sex and psychology
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What listeners say about So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- M
- 08-04-21
Game changing book
Ian Kerner is such a treasure trove of insight. As I navigate the dissolution of my marriage and look ahead to a future of new relationships, I looked to this book to gain insights on what I can improve about myself and how I relate to others. This book gave me everything I sought and more. I can already say it has immediately helped me connect better with others in every sense, not just sexually. I can’t wait to put his exercises into practice.
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- Adam P
- 01-10-23
Some helpful tips, but sold out to destructive modern sexual ethics
The general idea of the book is good, but there is no moral grounding that leads helpful responses wander off into unhealthy sexual behaviors currently in vogue in our corner of world history.
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- Jon M
- 10-11-24
His disdain for cis hetero males
I really wanted to like Ian Kerner’s books because they are often recommended to people like me who would like to improve their sex lives. When I say “people like me” I’m a straight male in a relationship with a straight female. Yet when I read this, I just get this sense that he does not like hetero males (even though he says he is one) and has more fondness and empathy for the gay couples in this book. I just felt like he kept accusing me of things i was not, just because I’m a hetero male.
That being said, I appreciate the information in the book about sex scripts. That felt like worthwhile, useful information to think about when having sex. It’s a tool that I think people would find useful learning about in this book and then discussing it more with a therapist and sex therapist.
Lastly, I really wish this dude would stop narrating his own books. I just find his voice annoying, like getting sex advice from a high schooler selling me popcorn at the movie box office. His voice sounds like what I imagine Jared Kushner’s voice sounds like.
So I would recommend this book definitely to women and gay couples, and slightly less so to straight men. After listening to both this and reading She Comes First, yes it’s good information (conveniently in one place, but nothing absolutely new or groundbreaking) I’m still wishing I could find a sex self-help writer who doesn’t make me feel ashamed to be a straight male.
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