Baptistland
A Memoir of Abuse, Betrayal, and Transformation
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Narrated by:
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Soren McKay
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By:
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Christa Brown
About this listen
It began with just wanting to tell the truth. But truth-telling has a way of snowballing.
When Christa Brown first spoke out about the sexual abuse she endured in her Texas childhood church, she never imagined it would expose the ethical chasm at the core of the Southern Baptist Convention: male religious leaders so focused on institutional protection that they sacrifice the safety of children.
A book about speaking out and speaking up, Baptistland weaves together Christa’s revealing story of hope amid Southern patriarchy and religious fundamentalism. You’ll meet the young Christa who endures family dysfunction, the trauma of bodily desecration, and the death blows of a gaslighting church and faith community. Then you’ll meet the Christa transformed who finds her voice and rises above the limited expectations of her given culture, becoming a successful attorney and earning the title of advocate for clergy sex abuse survivors.
Ultimately, Christa Brown grows into a vivid tree of life, rooted in love, individuality, beauty, and goodness. But it was unrelenting honesty, to herself and others, that guided her to this ordinary paradise. Baptistland speaks to the power of truth-telling—to ourselves, our relationships, and our institutions.
©2024 Christa Brown (P)2024 Christa BrownListeners also enjoyed...
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The Woman They Wanted
- Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife
- By: Shannon Harris
- Narrated by: Shannon Harris
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
As a twenty-three-year-old singer and the soon-to-be wife of youth pastor Joshua Harris, nothing in Shannon Harris's secular upbringing prepared her to enter the world of conservative Christianity. Soon Joshua's bestselling book I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped inspire a national purity movement, and Shannon's identity became "pastor's wife." The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon's remarkable experience inside Big Church—where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades—and her journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself.
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Her Story is Our Story
- By Amazon Customer on 11-04-23
By: Shannon Harris
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Rift
- A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy
- By: Cait West
- Narrated by: Cait West
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.
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Compelling narrative and beautifully written
- By Maria Hauskins on 05-05-24
By: Cait West
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
- By: Linda Kay Klein
- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
- By Military Dad on 12-12-18
By: Linda Kay Klein
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The Exvangelicals
- Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church
- By: Sarah McCammon
- Narrated by: Sarah McCammon
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up in a deeply evangelical family in the Midwest in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Sarah McCammon was strictly taught to fear God, obey him, and not question the faith. Persistently worried that her gay grandfather would go to hell unless she could reach him, or that her Muslim friend would need to be converted, and that she, too, would go to hell if she did not believe fervently enough, McCammon was a rule-follower. But through it all, she was plagued by fears and deep questions as the belief system she'd been carefully taught clashed with her expanding understanding of the outside world.
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Multiple Reasons
- By Meghan Smith on 03-30-24
By: Sarah McCammon
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A Well-Trained Wife
- My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
- By: Tia Levings
- Narrated by: Tia Levings
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.” A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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A review from a chronic non-reviewer
- By T. L. P. on 08-11-24
By: Tia Levings
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Disobedient Women
- How a Small Group of Faithful Women Exposed Abuse, Brought Down Powerful Pastors, and Ignited an Evangelical Reckoning
- By: Sarah Stankorb
- Narrated by: Suehyla Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this national bestseller, journalist Sarah Stankorb outlines how access to the internet—its networks, freedom of expression, and resources for deeply researching and reporting on powerful church figures—allowed women to begin dismantling the false authority of evangelical communities that had long demanded their submission.
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To many generalizations without balance
- By Lisa N. on 05-28-24
By: Sarah Stankorb
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The Woman They Wanted
- Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife
- By: Shannon Harris
- Narrated by: Shannon Harris
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a twenty-three-year-old singer and the soon-to-be wife of youth pastor Joshua Harris, nothing in Shannon Harris's secular upbringing prepared her to enter the world of conservative Christianity. Soon Joshua's bestselling book I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped inspire a national purity movement, and Shannon's identity became "pastor's wife." The Woman They Wanted recounts Shannon's remarkable experience inside Big Church—where she was asked to live within a narrow definition of womanhood for almost two decades—and her journey out of that world and into a more authentic version of herself.
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Her Story is Our Story
- By Amazon Customer on 11-04-23
By: Shannon Harris
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Rift
- A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy
- By: Cait West
- Narrated by: Cait West
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.
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Compelling narrative and beautifully written
- By Maria Hauskins on 05-05-24
By: Cait West
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
- By: Linda Kay Klein
- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
- By Military Dad on 12-12-18
By: Linda Kay Klein
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The Exvangelicals
- Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church
- By: Sarah McCammon
- Narrated by: Sarah McCammon
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Growing up in a deeply evangelical family in the Midwest in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Sarah McCammon was strictly taught to fear God, obey him, and not question the faith. Persistently worried that her gay grandfather would go to hell unless she could reach him, or that her Muslim friend would need to be converted, and that she, too, would go to hell if she did not believe fervently enough, McCammon was a rule-follower. But through it all, she was plagued by fears and deep questions as the belief system she'd been carefully taught clashed with her expanding understanding of the outside world.
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Multiple Reasons
- By Meghan Smith on 03-30-24
By: Sarah McCammon
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A Well-Trained Wife
- My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
- By: Tia Levings
- Narrated by: Tia Levings
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.” A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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A review from a chronic non-reviewer
- By T. L. P. on 08-11-24
By: Tia Levings
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Disobedient Women
- How a Small Group of Faithful Women Exposed Abuse, Brought Down Powerful Pastors, and Ignited an Evangelical Reckoning
- By: Sarah Stankorb
- Narrated by: Suehyla Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this national bestseller, journalist Sarah Stankorb outlines how access to the internet—its networks, freedom of expression, and resources for deeply researching and reporting on powerful church figures—allowed women to begin dismantling the false authority of evangelical communities that had long demanded their submission.
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To many generalizations without balance
- By Lisa N. on 05-28-24
By: Sarah Stankorb
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Testimony
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Failed a Generation
- By: Jon Ward
- Narrated by: Jon Ward
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Jon Ward's life is divided in half: two decades inside the evangelical Christian bubble and two decades outside of it. In Testimony, Ward tells the engaging story of his upbringing in, and eventual break from, an influential evangelical church in the 1980s and 1990s. Ward sheds light on the evangelical movement's troubling political and cultural dimensions, tracing the ways in which the Jesus People movement was seduced by materialism and other factors to become politically captive rather than prophetic.
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True Unbiased Journalism
- By S. Schneider on 06-03-23
By: Jon Ward
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When Religion Hurts You
- Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion
- By: Laura E. Anderson PhD
- Narrated by: Laura E. Anderson PhD
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Laura Anderson takes an honest look at a side of religion that few like to talk about. Drawing from her own life and therapy practice, she helps listeners understand what religious trauma is and isn't, and how high-control churches can be harmful and abusive, often resulting in trauma. She shows how elements of fundamentalist church life—such as fear of hell, purity culture, corporal punishment, and authoritarian leaders—can cause psychological, relational, physical, and spiritual damage.
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Harmed by Church of Christ beliefs
- By Bryan Wade on 04-14-24
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You Are Your Own
- A Reckoning with the Religious Trauma of Evangelical Christianity
- By: Jamie Lee Finch
- Narrated by: Jamie Lee Finch
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Rooted in her experiences growing up in an evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s You Are Your Own offers an overview of evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.
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great content.
- By Corey Moore on 11-19-19
By: Jamie Lee Finch
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Star-Spangled Jesus
- Leaving Christian Nationalism and Finding a True Faith
- By: April Ajoy
- Narrated by: April Ajoy
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Social media influencer and podcast host April Ajoy wouldn’t have called herself a Christian Nationalist when she performed her original song “America Say Jesus” on the Jim Bakker show, or when she participated in Jesus Marches across America, or when she posted cringe-worthy videos on YouTube to campaign for Mitt Romney. April just considered herself a good Christian: faithful, Republican, and determined to make America a Christian nation once again.
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I hope the people who need this read this
- By Autumn Scheske on 01-21-25
By: April Ajoy
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Ghosted
- An American Story
- By: Nancy French
- Narrated by: Nancy French
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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A compelling, thought-provoking memoir about Nancy French's journey from her family's mountain roots to success as a ghostwriter, only to be rejected by her party, church, and community. Ghosted by New York Times bestselling author Nancy French is for all who were alienated by those closest to them and left spiritually and politically homeless.
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I Had No Idea This Book Would Be This Good
- By Brian A. on 05-06-24
By: Nancy French
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Out of Focus
- My Story of Sexuality, Shame, and Toxic Evangelicalism
- By: Amber Cantorna-Wylde
- Narrated by: Amber Cantorna-Wylde
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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When a mass shooter killed five people in an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs, grieving people graffitied James Dobson's Focus on the Family headquarters with the words "Their blood is on your hands." Such an accusation comes as no surprise to Amber Cantorna-Wylde, whose father is a Focus on the Family executive and cast Amber out of her family when she came out in 2012.
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Deeply Insightful
- By randal b. on 09-13-24
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Unorthodox
- The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots
- By: Deborah Feldman
- Narrated by: Rachel Botchan, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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As a member of the strictly religious Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism, Deborah Feldman grew up under a code of relentlessly enforced customs governing everything from what she could wear and to whom she could speak to what she was allowed to read. Yet in spite of her repressive upbringing, Deborah grew into an independent-minded young woman whose stolen moments reading about the empowered literary characters of Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott helped her to imagine an alternative way of life among the skyscrapers of Manhattan.
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Narrator Problem
- By Phyllis on 04-24-20
By: Deborah Feldman
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Exvangelical and Beyond
- How American Christianity Went Radical and the Movement That's Fighting Back
- By: Blake Chastain
- Narrated by: Blake Chastain
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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With the rise of Trumpism, the American evangelical movement has more political influence than ever—yet at the same time, people are leaving Christianity in record numbers. Why are so many people walking away from the right-wing religion they were raised in, and what are they doing to overcome the past? Writer and podcaster Blake Chastain is uniquely positioned to understand this phenomenon. Raised evangelical, he went to a Christian college intending to become a pastor—until he found himself unable to reconcile his faith with the prejudice and even abuse he saw being done in God’s name.
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Wondering why people are deconstructing? Read this
- By Warren Collier on 10-04-24
By: Blake Chastain
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When the World Didn't End
- A Memoir
- By: Guinevere Turner
- Narrated by: Guinevere Turner
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In this immersive, spell-binding memoir, an acclaimed screenwriter tells the story of her childhood growing up with the infamous Lyman Family cult—and the complicated and unexpected pain of leaving the only home she’d ever known.
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Boring
- By Jes on 06-15-23
By: Guinevere Turner
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Hurt and Healed by the Church
- Redemption and Reconstruction After Spiritual Abuse
- By: Ryan George
- Narrated by: Ryan George
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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What would you do if you learned—from a podcast—that your dad (a pastor) was a serial sexual abuser? For Ryan George, this isn't a hypothetical question. He knew the faces behind the stories he heard. In fact, his mind flashed with memories of the abuse he'd endured from that same pastor as he listened to news that would change his life. In time, as he processed the destruction rampant in the cult of his youth, he found predatory behavior to be more of a feature than a bug of his former religion as both abuse and coverups were baked into its theology.
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Important Perspective on "Deconstruction"
- By astasteel on 10-12-24
By: Ryan George
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Uncultured
- A Memoir
- By: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Narrated by: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Behind the tall, foreboding gates of a commune in Brazil, Daniella Mestyanek Young was raised in the religious cult The Children of God, also known as The Family, as the daughter of high-ranking members. Her great-grandmother donated land for one of The Family’s first communes in Texas. Her mother, at thirteen, was forced to marry the leader and served as his secretary for many years. Beholden to The Family’s strict rules, Daniella suffers physical, emotional, and sexual abuse—masked as godly discipline and divine love—and is forbidden from getting a traditional education.
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Do not recommend the second half
- By Anonymous Reader on 10-02-22
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A Church Called Tov
- Forming a Goodness Culture That Resists Abuses of Power and Promotes Healing
- By: Scot McKnight, Laura Barringer
- Narrated by: Michael Beck
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the way forward for the church? Tragically, in recent years, Christians have gotten used to revelations of abuses of many kinds in our most respected churches―from Willow Creek to Harvest, from Southern Baptist pastors to Sovereign Grace churches. Respected author and theologian Scot McKnight and former Willow Creek member Laura Barringer wrote this book to paint a pathway forward for the church.
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Mostly good, but has a major issue
- By T.J. on 11-30-21
By: Scot McKnight, and others
What listeners say about Baptistland
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- Anonymous User
- 07-19-24
Difficult story of truth telling
This was a hard book to listen to but I’m glad that I did. It’s truth that needs to be told and heard.
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- Mama3
- 05-17-24
Fantastic book
Christa’s story was inspiring. Her commitment to breaking generational trauma before she even knew what it was Is so inspiring.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-13-24
Meaningful
Great storytelling about how coping with trauma really does matter. It can be passed down without even realizing it.
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- Micah
- 05-22-24
Compelling story and wonderful narration
I admire the courage and truth telling in Christa’s story. I am so thankful for the ways she has fought for justice despite such odds stacked against her. Soren’s narration was so easy to listen to. I was caught up in the story thoroughly. She is my new favorite narrator
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amy & John
- 05-24-24
Very inspiring and emotional
So glad to have read it. Highly recommend. Very moving and inspiring hearing Christa’s life story and how she has been such a powerful advocate for abuse victims
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- Anonymous User
- 07-16-24
Outstanding and Crucial Read
it was an amazing account of courage and persistence in the face of personal atrocity
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- Angela Stone-Campbell
- 06-27-24
Light and truth are much more powerful than darkness and fear.
It may not always feel that way when you’re going through it, but it’s still truth.
I don’t understand why there are so many who have not had to stand accountable for their evil. I too grew up in the SBC and nearly killed me. And I only see the SBC becoming more evil.
However, Christa’s truth telling will hopefully let this cult become more aware that they can run, but they can’t hide. And those that help them hide are just as responsible for their sins as the wrongdoers.
Hey SBC, WWJD?
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- John-Mark
- 11-02-24
A powerful memoir
My thanks to the author for sharing her story. It was very well done. Good job.
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- Susie
- 05-25-24
I can relate
Thoroughly and honestly written about her pastor abuse and the reaction from her family and the church is my story too. "No one gives a flip" is so true. It's been 35 years and it never goes away. I loved all the details of her entire story and the amazing life she pursued and still spent time fighting this ridiculous Christian crime that continues to this day. Everyone needs to read this!!
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- Julie
- 09-08-24
My heart ached with every page
Christa Brown is a remarkable writer. She’s brilliant, resilient, & courageous. As a devout follower of Jesus, I want to say how sorry I am. The sexual predation of the SBC pastor was enraging. The countless hurtful words (emotional & verbal abuse) coming from Christa’s mother & the unfathomable bullying & hate from Judy & eventually Rita, just kept breaking my heart for Christa over & over. I kept thinking, “how much more can she take?” It’s rare that I can’t put a book down. I pray that the love, kindness, goodness, mercy, & peace of God becomes experiential & healing to every fiber of Christa’s being. She’s clearly a very dear & precious soul with great depth & on a necessary mission. God speed.
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