Bill the Vampire Audiobook By Rick Gualtieri cover art

Bill the Vampire

The Tome of Bill, Book 1

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Bill the Vampire

By: Rick Gualtieri
Narrated by: Christopher John Fetherolf
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About this listen

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.

My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life – and not because I program video games or play D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out on the floor with my throat torn open.

Problem is, I didn't stay dead. I’m simply not that lucky.

Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger, faster, and a hell of a lot better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.

It might be because he can’t control me like he can the others. Or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Either way, he's given me just ninety days to prove I'm not a total embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast.

I'll need help, though, if I want to survive. Too bad my living friends are more interested in setting me on fire while Sally’s obviously just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is.

Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but somehow I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.

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Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire - book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that will leave you thirsting for more.

If you're a fan of Hunter Blain, Steve McHugh, Christopher Moore, Jason Pargin or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn.

Don’t miss out! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing.

Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a shitload of swearing

©2011 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri
Fantasy Fiction Horror Urban Scary Vampire Paranormal Comedy Witty Funny City Zombie
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The narrator’s performance was awesome

The flow of action, humor and narrator performance made this a highly enjoyable experience both times I’ve listen d to it.

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MC is a over eager puppy

I came into this pretty blind with how the story would go, and so far I’m not impressed. For one you can only stand so many jokes/puns within a few sentences from each other but this wouldn’t matter if the jokes were good but they are kinda pathetic. Second is how much of a puss the MC really is, more than 3/4ths of the way through and he doesn’t stand up for himself at all. Third is how pathetic he acts towards the person who literally killed him; being more concerned with how hot she is. To add onto the last point he acts like an eager puppy whenever a hot woman is around despite being surrounded by bodies. Fourth the MC has not agency what so ever, told he has a time limit on protection from other vamps but it more concerned with missing his DND game or working the next day. Considering all that the story so far is just boring.. we’re told he’s a special vampire but doesn’t show any redeeming qualities if you don’t count his terrible jokes. I think I’ll be skipping this series

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