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Bill the Vampire

By: Rick Gualtieri
Narrated by: Christopher John Fetherolf
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Publisher's summary

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.

Loud-mouthed gamer Bill Ryder thought the dice had finally rolled in his favor when he met Sally. Sadly, his triumph quickly turned into a critical failure–leaving him at death’s door with his throat torn out.

Now he’s a vampire, trapped in a world of monsters that are stronger, deadlier, and a hell of a lot cooler. They’re giving him just ninety days to prove he has what it takes to be an apex predator of the night, assuming he doesn’t give them a reason to dust his ass sooner.

This game isn't over yet, though. Turns out a vamp like Bill hasn’t been seen in centuries. He’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that's too obnoxious to quit. He’ll need all that and more if he doesn’t want to end up even deader than last time.

Join him in this hilarious tale of bloodthirsty beasts, gory mayhem, and an unlikely hero who's still at the bottom of the food chain.

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Bram Stoker meets The Big Bang Theory in Bill The Vampire–book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more.

Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Steve McHugh, Jim Butcher, and What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from start to finish.

Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to sink your teeth into a world of undead mayhem and gut-busting humor.

Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a shitload of swearing.

©2011 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri
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What listeners say about Bill the Vampire

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The narrator’s performance was awesome

The flow of action, humor and narrator performance made this a highly enjoyable experience both times I’ve listen d to it.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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MC is a over eager puppy

I came into this pretty blind with how the story would go, and so far I’m not impressed. For one you can only stand so many jokes/puns within a few sentences from each other but this wouldn’t matter if the jokes were good but they are kinda pathetic. Second is how much of a puss the MC really is, more than 3/4ths of the way through and he doesn’t stand up for himself at all. Third is how pathetic he acts towards the person who literally killed him; being more concerned with how hot she is. To add onto the last point he acts like an eager puppy whenever a hot woman is around despite being surrounded by bodies. Fourth the MC has not agency what so ever, told he has a time limit on protection from other vamps but it more concerned with missing his DND game or working the next day. Considering all that the story so far is just boring.. we’re told he’s a special vampire but doesn’t show any redeeming qualities if you don’t count his terrible jokes. I think I’ll be skipping this series

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