Conquering Shame and Codependency
8 Steps to Freeing the True You
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Narrated by:
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Carlotta Brentan
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By:
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Darlene Lancer
About this listen
Shame and doubting one's worth can be debilitating. Unemployment and isolation as a result of the pandemic can fuel these negative feelings.
Learn how to heal from the destructive hold of shame and codependency by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you and lead to healthier relationships.
Shame: the torment you feel when you're exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It's a deeply painful and universal emotion yet is not frequently discussed.
For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships - where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another - often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors.
Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be.
In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2014 Darlene Lancer (P)2021 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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In Men’s Work, ManTalks founder Connor Beaton offers the tactical, self-led guide men have been looking for. Here, he destigmatizes inner work by reframing it as a kind of psychological warrior training that many men can relate to and have been craving. Beaton walks you through a framework for facing the hidden and rejected aspects of yourself—factors that lead to self-sabotage, anxiety, and depression.
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From a woman’s perspective
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Prodependence
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In Prodependence, Weiss presents a research-based social and psychological understanding of human interdependence, accepting and even celebrating human interdependency in ways that are healthy and life-affirming for each person.
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Great content but horrible voice
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The Addictive Personality
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For over two decades, The Addictive Personality has helped people understand the process of addiction. Now, through this second edition, author Craig Nakken brings new depth and dimension to our understanding of how an individual becomes an addict. Going beyond the definition that limits dependency to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, Nakken uncovers the common denominator of all addiction and describes how the process is progressive.
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Excellent book!
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By: Craig Nakken
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Dealing with Toxic People
- A Survival Guide to Deal and Heal from Toxic People, and Empower Yourself to Achieve Big in Life
- By: Chris Genson
- Narrated by: Maria McCann
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Dealing with Toxic People is a solution-oriented book that throws light on one of the most important issues in today's world. Listeners will be able to learn every possible technique to help get rid of toxic people in the best possible manner.
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AMAZING, Great Book!
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By: Chris Genson
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
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- Unabridged
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
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Love Between Equals
- Relationship as a Spiritual Path
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Utilizing the wisdom of her years of personal and professional practice, Young-Eisendrath dismantles our idealized projections about love, while revealing how mindfulness and communication can help us identify and honor the differences with our partners and strengthen our bonds. These practical and time-tested guidelines are rooted in sound understanding of modern psychology and offer concrete ideas and the necessary tools to reinforce and reinvigorate our deepest relationships.
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Insightful
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-23
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Fierce Self-Compassion
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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Hilarious and True...the humor helps us to earnestly reflect inward. Very powerful. Thank you!
- By Tabitha Thornhill on 10-25-24
By: Allen Berger PhD
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You Are Not What You Think
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You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotist - and how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others. How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life - yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving.
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Extraordinarily Revealing
- By Steve D. on 12-16-21
By: David Richo
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The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care
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- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
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Are you in an abusive or unhappy relationship? Do you try too hard to please your friends at the expense of your own needs and wants? Are you subservient to others and do you find yourself unable to become independent? Do you suffer from negative self-talk? These are all signs that your self-care regimen is deficient in some way. The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care tackles the common problems of effective self-care with practical suggestions for practices that will create a sustainable, lifelong self-care routine.
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Very helpful
- By Joan Sarratt on 03-08-18
By: Shahida Arabi
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Rewire
- Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior
- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
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How to Love
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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Shame
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Many of us experience shame on a regular basis. We compare ourselves to others and feel deficient. We look at our pasts and hope no one will find out what we've done—or what was done to us. We doubt and isolate ourselves in light of previous rejection or failure. Our shame is unpleasant, even paralyzing. But there is hope for shame-filled souls! Our Savior willingly sacrificed everything—even died—so that shame would not have the final say in your life. Now he empowers you to change.
By: Esther Liu
What listeners say about Conquering Shame and Codependency
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- PDDockery
- 03-13-21
What even is shame? This is where I was starting.
I started meditating 2 or so years ago after listening to Joy by Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu. Everything started to change. Guided meditations taught me the act of how to meditate. I quickly learned this was a gift to myself in my pursuit of my self, most importantly love of self. The author and this book were recommended during an inner child podcast I happened upon. Until that moment I did not associate experiences in life relative to shame. I simply didn’t understand. Embarrassment, anxiety, kicking myself for one thing or another, these weren’t related to shame, or were they? I bought this audio book immediately and was happy it wasn’t going to require 12 hours of listening. In my opinion the author details a breath of personality types with enough depth and examples for the reader to make connection after connection. Again. And again. Certain chapters I have listened to over and over again. If you are trying to dig deep and do the work to free yourself of suffering and break through to self love, you have to do the work and this book will help. This book opened my eyes in so many ways. I learned about myself, but I also applied it to specific relationships in my life and it all made more and more sense. The teacher appears when the student is ready. You will listen, learn, perhaps cry without knowing why. It is the release. The recognition. The relief. I am grateful. I was ready and open and not in denial. I realized I could be other either side of the equation depending on the ‘who’. It is empowering. Excellent time investment 🤓🥰
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4 people found this helpful
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- lily smith
- 07-08-23
Best book on codependency I’ve found
I’ve been making my way through the codependency literature and I found this book to be the most succinct and helpful so far. I will definitely be recommending it to friends and family—only if they ask, of course. Because I am not trying to work someone else’s program for them. ;) I did find the voice of the reader a bit robotic, but it wasn’t so distracting that it interfered with absorbing the content.
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- Steve Allen
- 05-08-24
Fantastic book that is helping me understand my shame.
Well written and easily digestible. I just finished the book and will be listening again right away.
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- LSNY12
- 03-01-23
Wonderful book, poor narration
I wish Darlene Lancer could read this book herself. It’s an amazing book. It’s cornerstones of all the known therapies for codependency and shame , unfortunately, very poorly narrated.
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- John Brown
- 06-10-24
Deep dive into the fundamentals of codependency
This book was very helpful because 90% is about pointing out behaviors that can be taken as normal.
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- Michele Leigh Brown
- 05-16-21
Life Changing
I have listened to this 3 times and have gotten all my friends to listen. This book is truly a lifesaver.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Lotus
- 03-09-23
Excellent book! Thank you!!
Although I personally did not like the narrator’s voice, the voice sounds too robotic and generic to me. However, I found the book to be incredible and so helpful on my path of recovery and reclaiming personal empowerment, growth and liberation. I recommend this book to anyone looking to heal from codependency, shame, and compulsion or addiction.
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- Reviewer
- 12-08-21
Narration
The narrator had a strong, clear voice, but she also had a slight accent which I found distracting. I’m not sure why that was the case, but it broke my concentration and I had trouble fully absorbing the material, sometimes having to listen to a chapter multiple times and/or slowing down the audio.
If you’re easily distracted by this sort of thing, you may want to read a copy of the book instead of listening to the audiobook.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Austin
- 01-31-23
Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer
Absolutely recommend. A bit more difficult than having a psychical copy to copy down the exercises off of, but if you don’t mind pausing, you will be fine. Amazing book. Very worth the time.
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- TMac909
- 05-04-24
Lots of practical advice
I wish some of the step stuff towards the end was interspersed earlier in the book
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