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Growing Up as the Scapegoat to Narcissistic Parents
- A Guide to Healing
- Narrated by: Todd Lewandowski
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
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Publisher's summary
This book is for those who suffered as the scapegoat child to a narcissistic parent. The scapegoat child is emotionally deprived, devalued and trapped by the parent. The child comes to believe they are defective and undeserving. These beliefs can plague the individual into adulthood.
Scapegoating reflects the narcissistic parent’s own emotional disturbance–not the child’s.
Healing is possible for scapegoat survivors! New healthy beliefs about oneself can be established. This book explains how to heal with the three pillars of recovery:
- Making sense of the narcissistic abuse so you know it was not your fault
- Creating distance from narcissistic abusers in your life today
- Living in defiance of the narcissist's rules
Listeners will learn to apply these pillars in their own lives and reclaim the quality of life they deserve.
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- 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
- By: Darlene Lancer
- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
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In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
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12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
- Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
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Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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Nothing new
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
- By: David Richo
- Narrated by: David Richo
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
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"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
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Missing text
- By Annah Nimouse on 07-26-19
By: David Richo
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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You Are Not What You Think
- The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love
- By: David Richo
- Narrated by: Tom Pile
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
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You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotist - and how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others. How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life - yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving.
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Extraordinarily Revealing
- By Steve D. on 12-16-21
By: David Richo
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You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother
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This book changed my life
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If you were raised by a narcissistic mother and are struggling with the lingering effects of a toxic upbringing, this is the road map you need to heal the past and thrive in the present and future.
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I really needed this!
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sheds light
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Accuracy is incredible.
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The role of the scapegoat is isolating, pushing you into the margins of the family narrative while obscuring your true essence. Yet, just as one climbs a summit, you have the strength to rise above, embracing your unique legacy. It's time to prioritize your journey, rewrite your story, and stand tall at your personal summit.
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With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 best-seller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters - and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.
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Very Powerful. Deserves 6 stars!
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Introducing a 10-hour blueprint to recovering from narcissistic abuse from your mother and avoiding toxic relationships and people as an empath moving forward. It's time for you to realize you are a beautiful person and a beautiful soul. It's time for you to break generational trauma and blossom into the incredible woman you are meant to be. You deserve to be happy. You deserve happy relationships, and to be confident, you can be an amazing partner, spouse, mother, sister, and friend.
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Helpful Guide to Emotional Healing and Freedom
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Love this book
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Believing Me
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Someone else caused all my problems
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Adult children of narcissists have been conditioned to downplay, dismiss, and ignore their experiences. This survival skill of staying below the radar can cause even very skilled clinicians to miss subtle opportunities to connect. It is paramount that clinicians understand the scope of these clients' experiences in order to support their healing—and to avoid the common clinical mistakes and pitfalls that often lead to inadvertently repeating harmful cycles.
By: Amy Marlow-MaCoy Med LPC, and others
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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters
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The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful. You can emotionally separate without guilt: Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences.
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Had to return the book
- By Amazon Customer on 05-29-19
By: Karen C.L. Anderson, and others
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The Narcissistic Family
- Diagnosis and Treatment
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In this compelling book, the authors present an innovative therapeutic model for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglectful families - families the authors call narcissistic. Narcissistic families have a parental system that is, for whatever reason (job stress, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, physical disability, lack of parenting skills, self-centered immaturity), primarily involved in getting its own needs met.
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This book will change the way you see yourself, your family, and the world.
- By Anonymous User on 04-17-24
By: Robert M. Pressman, and others
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The Good Daughter Syndrome
- Help for Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter
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You love your mother, but she drives you crazy. She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it. Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult? Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind? If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
- By Twin of Eyegone on 07-01-24
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Covert Narcissist Mother
- An Adult Daughter’s Guide How to Recover after a Lifetime of Covert Abuse and Keep Your Children Safe from Their Toxic Grandmother
- By: Ella Lansville
- Narrated by: Farah D.
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
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Ella Lansville is a scapegoat daughter of a covert narcissist mother who was able to recover after a lifetime of hidden abuse and ultimately get her life back from her mother’s clutches. You, too, can rediscover the beauty of life and everything it has to offer. If you’re ready to take a step towards healing, this book will be your comprehensive guide.
By: Ella Lansville
What listeners say about Growing Up as the Scapegoat to Narcissistic Parents
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JenH
- 05-15-23
Great book
This was a great book. It was quite validating. Must read if you have a toxic family.
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- Shelley Love
- 12-04-23
Wow! Clarity on So Many Levels!
This is the best book I’ve come across that explains what it’s like to grow up as the scapegoat in a toxic family. I’ve listened to it 3 times; gleaning more validation each listen. Bought the paperback too with plans to highlight certain nuggets of wisdom.
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- SB
- 04-25-23
So good
I will be listening to this again as it's full of great information! I'm so glad I found this book.
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- rebecca niamtu
- 07-26-24
Sounds like AI
I can’t get past the narration sounding like AI. I doubt I’ll be able to finish it. Probably a great book
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- DOG FAN
- 04-16-24
This is my story!
I have never heard my story, and the issues with the narcissists in my life. described so honestly. The Narratoration is flawless. Told brilliantly! Everything I've always thought and felt was described perfectly. I couldn't stop listening! As I just turned 60, I wish I would have had this book decades ago. Everything described in this book was my experience and it was awful being the scapegoat. I finally see that I'm not the bad person. My parents were awful people. Every example was either them or me. And at 60, I'm in therapy to try and undo the damage done to me. It's good to know It wasn't me, but I've got a long road ahead. If only they had been decent, I could have become something great. God only knows what I couldve become. Anything in life but the sorry scapegoat would have been amazing. Unfortunately I had sick violent Borderline/Narcissistic mother and FULL ON Narcissistic Father. And I hate them. They are truly evil. I'm glad the book shows who they really are.
Thank You!!
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- Dan Simard
- 08-23-24
intelligent practicality
nice combination of professional opinion and supportive data that is easily applied to self improvement.
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- colleen
- 09-03-24
If you've ever felt like the family loser and don't know why
This is such a great book, its hard to express how this hits the mark on scapegoats, why they are chosen, why those not being scapegoated seem to jump on them and take the side of the abuser, why the abuser/abusers do what they do and why the scapegoat takes their survival skills into the world only to self sabotage, choose narc friends, stay in bad relationships, and have a lack of skills to be kind to themselves. It explains that and so much more.
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- kelly layton
- 12-24-23
Helpful for Scapegoats to Understand Their Toxic Family’s Disorder/Dysfunction
I identify with the scapegoat role all too much. Jay Reid accurately illustrates what my parebts and siblings did to me for decades and the toxic narcissistic traits that compelled them to carry out the abuse. He shares useful insight for the scapegoat whose awareness has led to cutting contact from the narcissistic family in order to heal. I no longer feel so alone in the darkness and am working on self-compassion every day with the support of experts like Jay Reid.
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- Tiffany Johnson
- 05-26-23
The story of the G.O.A.T.
I learned much inside this book of what I already knew without being able to articulate. Thank you Jay Reid. Love you guys, We are worthy.
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- ACE
- 07-15-23
The information is invaluable!
The wealth of information is the best part about this book! This is the only book I have seen on the subject. If only I had it while growing up as a scapegoat! The performance of the narrator was good but lacking a bit between paragraphs. He rushed words together without giving people a chance to absorb the ending. The quality of the author's writing is adequate but also lacking. It seems as though no one edited this book.
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