The Power of Strangers
The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World
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Narrated by:
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Jonathan Todd Ross
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By:
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Joe Keohane
About this listen
A “meticulously researched and buoyantly written” (Esquire) look at what happens when we talk to strangers, and why it affects everything from our own health and well-being to the rise and fall of nations in the tradition of Susan Cain’s Quiet and Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens
“This lively, searching work makes the case that welcoming ‘others’ isn’t just the bedrock of civilization, it’s the surest path to the best of what life has to offer.” (Ayad Akhtar, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Homeland Elegies)
In our cities, we stand in silence at the pharmacy and in check-out lines at the grocery store, distracted by our phones, barely acknowledging one another, even as rates of loneliness skyrocket. Online, we retreat into ideological silos reinforced by algorithms designed to serve us only familiar ideas and like-minded users. In our politics, we are increasingly consumed by a fear of people we’ve never met. But what if strangers - so often blamed for our most pressing political, social, and personal problems - are actually the solution?
In The Power of Strangers, Joe Keohane sets out on a journey to discover what happens when we bridge the distance between us and people we don’t know. He learns that while we’re wired to sometimes fear, distrust, and even hate strangers, people and societies that have learned to connect with strangers benefit immensely. Digging into a growing body of cutting-edge research on the surprising social and psychological benefits that come from talking to strangers, Keohane finds that even passing interactions can enhance empathy, happiness, and cognitive development, ease loneliness and isolation, and root us in the world, deepening our sense of belonging. And all the while, Keohane gathers practical tips from experts on how to talk to strangers and tries them out himself in the wild, to awkward, entertaining, and frequently poignant effect.
Warm, witty, erudite, and profound, equal parts sweeping history and self-help journey, this deeply researched book will inspire listeners to see everything - from major geopolitical shifts to trips to the corner store - in an entirely new light, showing them that talking to strangers isn’t just a way to live; it’s a way to survive.
©2021 Joe Keohane (P)2021 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“This is one of those remarkable books you may not realize you’re going to love (or need) until you’re well into it. The Power of Strangers is deeply and gamely researched, lucidly and engagingly written (as if by a pal), informative, thought-provoking, playful, useful, and possibly life-changing. What a great way to start the post-pandemic.” (Kurt Andersen, author of Fantasyland and Evil Geniuses)
“In a thrilling, immersive journey across time and continents, Keohane upends everything we thought we knew about the people we don’t know.” (Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling)
“Thank Zeus, human nature, and the brilliant Joe Keohane for The Power of Strangers, an illuminating, witty - and dare I say life-affirming - blend of psychology, anthropology, and lived human experience. I never knew, before now, why strangers are chattier at farmers markets than in supermarkets, or why the vital and broadly applicable craft of listening (and the gift of being listened to) feels so good. God knows this book is timely and necessary, in this struggling republic of ours. I not only love it, I'm grateful for it.” (Paige Williams, staff writer for The New Yorker and author of The Dinosaur Artist: Obsession, Science, and the Global Quest for Fossils)
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This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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Wanting
- The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
- By: Luke Burgis
- Narrated by: Luke Burgis, Sean Patrick Hopkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Gravity affects every aspect of our physical being, but there’s a psychological force just as powerful - yet almost nobody has heard of it. It’s responsible for bringing groups of people together and pulling them apart, making certain goals attractive to some and not to others, and fueling cycles of anxiety and conflict. In Wanting, Luke Burgis draws on the work of French polymath René Girard to bring this hidden force to light and reveals how it shapes our lives and societies.
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One of the most important books you'll ever read
- By chris boutte on 06-14-21
By: Luke Burgis
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Ishmael
- An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit
- By: Daniel Quinn
- Narrated by: Anthony Heald
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Abridged
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One of the most beloved and best-selling novels of spiritual adventure ever published, Ishmael has earned a passionate following. This special 25th anniversary edition features a new foreword and afterword by the author.
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Unabridged PLEASE!
- By Eric on 01-12-08
By: Daniel Quinn
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The Opposite of Hate
- A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity
- By: Sally Kohn
- Narrated by: Sally Kohn
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
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As a progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Sally Kohn has made a career out of bridging intractable political differences, learning how to talk civilly to people whose views she disagrees with passionately. Famously "nice", she even gave a TED Talk about what she termed emotional correctness. But these days, even Kohn has found herself wanting to breathe fire at her enemies. It was time, she decided, to look into the ugliness erupting all around us.
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Profoundly insightful, important, and digestible.
- By Scott on 04-24-18
By: Sally Kohn
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Humankind
- A Hopeful History
- By: Rutger Bregman, Erica Moore, Elizabeth Manton
- Narrated by: Rutger Bregman, Thomas Judd
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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If there is one belief that has united the left and the right, psychologists and philosophers, ancient thinkers and modern ones, it is the tacit assumption that humans are bad. It's a notion that drives newspaper headlines and guides the laws that shape our lives. From Machiavelli to Hobbes, Freud to Pinker, the roots of this belief have sunk deep into Western thought. Human beings, we're taught, are by nature selfish and governed primarily by self-interest.
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He’s correct but he misrepresented the data
- By Andrea Allen on 02-09-21
By: Rutger Bregman, and others
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The Second Mountain
- How People Move from the Prison of Self to the Joy of Commitment
- By: David Brooks
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Author David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.
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Pursue meaning, reject hyper-individualism
- By Adam Shields on 05-07-19
By: David Brooks
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The Introvert's Way
- Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
- By: Sophia Dembling
- Narrated by: Rose Itzcovitz
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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This clever and pithy audiobook challenges introverts to take ownership of their personalities...with quiet strength. Sophia Dembling asserts that the introvert’s lifestyle is not "wrong" or lacking, as society or extroverts would have us believe. Through a combination of personal insights and psychology, The Introvert’s Way helps and encourages introverts to embrace their nature, to respect traits they may have been ashamed of and reframe them as assets.
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Common Sense Fluff
- By James on 06-17-15
By: Sophia Dembling
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Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life
- A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity Are Revolutionizing Our View of Human Nature
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Between what can be learned from evolutionary psychology and cognitive science a picture emerges. In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick fuses these two fields to create a coherent story of human nature. In his analysis, many ingrained, apparently irrational behaviors—one-night stands, prejudice, conspicuous consumption, even art and religious devotion—are quite explicable and (when desired) avoidable.
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Rather dated and self-aggrandizing
- By Laurie Frick on 07-21-11
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Before You Know It
- The Unconscious Reasons We Do What We Do
- By: John Bargh PhD
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than three decades, Dr. John Bargh has been responsible for the revolutionary research into the unconscious mind, research that informed best sellers like Blink and Thinking Fast and Slow. Now, in what Dr. John Gottman said "will be the most important and exciting book in psychology that has been written in the past 20 years", Dr. Bargh takes us on an entertaining and enlightening tour of the forces that affect everyday behavior while transforming our understanding of ourselves in profound ways.
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Political jab
- By Brad on 10-20-17
By: John Bargh PhD
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How to Be Black
- By: Baratunde Thurston
- Narrated by: Baratunde Thurston
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
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Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be the Black Friend" to "How to Be the (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month". This is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all Black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be".
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Funny yet insightful!
- By Theodore on 02-15-12
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The Way of the Heathen
- Practicing Atheism in Everyday Life
- By: Greta Christina
- Narrated by: Greta Christina
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
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So you're an atheist. Now what? The way we deal with life - with love and sex, pleasure and death, reality and making stuff up - can change dramatically when we stop believing in gods, souls, and afterlives. When we leave religion - or if we never had it in the first place - where do we go? With her unique blend of compassion and humor, thoughtfulness and snark, Greta Christina most emphatically does not propose a single path to a good atheist life. She offers questions to think about, ideas that may be useful, and encouragement to choose your own way.
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Navigating the world outside of church
- By Scott Bresinger on 01-21-17
By: Greta Christina
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The Secret Lives of Introverts
- Inside Our Hidden World
- By: Jenn Granneman
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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The Gift of Adversity
- The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal M.D.
- Narrated by: Erik Synnestvedt
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
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The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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What listeners say about The Power of Strangers
Highly rated for:
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- C Fit
- 06-23-23
Theory and Practice to Enrich Connections
I am a school counselor, and I appreciate this advice to look up from our screens or the ground and learn to appreciate the benefits of simple acknowledgement and connection.
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- Vladimir Mendez
- 03-06-24
Interesante pero podría ser más corto
El libro y el tema son muy es interesante pero se extiende demasiado en los temas, haciendo el libro algo aburrido
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- Isaiah Clair
- 03-17-24
Great Non-Fiction
My favorite thing about this book is that it is non-fiction but it’s not sterile. There’s humor and wit and inspiration while also containing facts. Very enjoyable!
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- Brandon J
- 07-26-21
great perspective to get out of your head
enjoyed hearing the exercises they tried. lots of great workable takeaways to apply immediately and the history gives nice context to human behaviour. a little long, but I'm not mad.
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- Sherif Hashem
- 11-09-22
Wow, what a great audio book
Great narrator. Answered many of my questions and then some. Read to open up more.
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- Pamela L
- 09-15-24
Started out Well
Being what my niece refers to as an "extroverted introvert," I expected to learn a lot from this book. It was somewhat useful, but there was not much new. And I had two issues that stood out. One: There was just too much concentrated on politics. Two: I think the phrase "talk to someone" implies talking "at" someone. If the author is truly interested in a balanced, two-way conversation, he might consider using the phrase "... talk WITH someone."
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- Kay
- 11-05-21
Thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish
This book covered in great detail the science, history, and philosophies of talking to strangers. It is one of the longest audio books I’ve listened to, but I still found myself engaged with every chapter.
I stumbled on this book seeing it was mentioned in a news article about talking to strangers. Socializing has never been a strength of mine, and something I’ve wanted to improve. I also have found myself recently craving to talk and connect with people, so the book definitely peaked my interest.
For people who don’t have the time or patience to read or listen for 13 hours, you can skip to the chapters that share tips to improve talking with strangers.
I’d recommend it to my friends, I feel it definitely changed my perspective and shared very helpful tools and tips to improve communicating and strengthen connections with people you’re meeting or encountering for the first time.
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- Sue
- 06-06-23
Fabulous Book!
Humans need connection with other humans. Communicating mostly thru the internet and social media has taken away the human connection, thus creating loneliness, depression, bias and misunderstanding of others, and thus separation. This book shows us how to connect again. Great read, and hopefully will make a small difference.
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- dm
- 08-07-24
Important book
We’re in a jam socially amd culturally and we all feel it. What can we do? Talking to strangers is a great place to start.
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- Big Fella
- 10-12-21
The power of a great book
I was expecting to learn generally what it took to have better conversations but this book offered so much more. In reading this book not only did I learn so much about the information the author shared but it gave me insight into myself in a way that was completely unexpected. I finished the book feeling as inspired and energized as I did informed and challenged.
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