I Swear I'll Be Good at It!
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Narrated by:
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Jed Drummond
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By:
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Wes Janisen
About this listen
At 23 years old and still celibate against his will, Wes has run the numbers: It is officially more likely an asteroid will kill him before he ever ends up naked in someone else's bed. What's his problem, you ask? He couldn't tell you. Wes likes bars, booze, and fun; he has a job, an apartment, and no major deformities.... What more does a 20-something need to be a bit of a slut now and then!? In his quest to lose his virginity and join the legions of normal, sex-having adults, Wes gets everything but lucky. Run-ins with the police, compulsive liars, convicts, a sadistic bikini waxer named Thelma, and one almost-orgy can all be found in the laugh-out-loud-funny I Swear I'll Be Good at It!
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- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker
- A Memoir in Essays
- By: Damon Young
- Narrated by: Damon Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing Black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as “How should I react here, as a professional black person?” and “Will this white person’s potato salad kill me?” are forever relevant. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young’s efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him.
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Reviewed by a B![c# @$$ White Boy
- By netusera on 04-13-19
By: Damon Young
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Road Dog
- Life and Reflections from the Road as a Stand-up Comic
- By: Dov Davidoff
- Narrated by: Dov Davidoff
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Road Dog is comedian, actor, and writer, Dov Davidoff's unflinching memoir told through reflections of twelve months on the road. Davidoff travels across the country from college campuses to local theaters doing stand-up comedy and telling it like it is. He's been known to wax poetic about everything from encounters with large fake breasts, to people who have too many kids, to magnum condoms the size of CD cases. He is hilarious and relatable and will have you laughing at yourself in no time.
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dark, real, & exceptional
- By Luis F Rodriguez on 11-22-17
By: Dov Davidoff
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots?
- Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform
- By: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore
- Narrated by: Mark Bachman
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Gay culture has become a nightmare of consumerism, whether it's an endless quest for Absolut vodka, Diesel jeans, rainbow Hummers, pec implants, or Pottery Barn. Whatever happened to sexual flamboyance and gender liberation, an end to marriage, the military, and the nuclear family? As backrooms are shut down to make way for wedding vows, and gay sexual culture morphs into “straight-acting dudes hangin’ out”, what are the possibilities for a defiant faggotry that challenges the assimilationist norms of a corporate-cozy lifestyle?
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Forget the Status Quo South Beach B.S.
- By Susie on 03-14-13
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
- Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
- By: Courtney Robertson, Deborah Baer
- Narrated by: Courtney Robertson
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
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I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
What listeners say about I Swear I'll Be Good at It!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mia
- 04-16-22
Please Fire the Narrator
I would hire the narrator just to get an opportunity to fire him. He RUINED a perfectly delightful story! Don't mind the negative reviewers. I would imagine they're conservative old Karens who got this because it's free but didn't read the synopsis and didn't expect the content to be so raunchy, and gay raunchy at that! 😂 It's an adorable account and it made me laugh out loud. I love Wes and his story! It felt like listening to a friend tell a hilarious story. I just wish Wes narrated it. I think memoirs should be narrated by the authors, especially ones like this one.
I would give zero stars for the performance. Jed's narration is just awful and it left everything to be desired. Not only in terms of his ridiculous inflections, he mispronounced and bungled words left and right.
Example: halfway through Chapter 5, he actually says, "I can't ask but help". I can't wonder but help how that was missed! (See what I did there?) Also, he pronounced "medieval" as "mid-evil". This is a very short audiobook. Surely someone had to review it before it was published. Fire that person too.
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- MMB
- 10-04-21
I really enjoyed this journey
I found myself chuckling throughout this story. Wes is a really good storyteller, I look forward to the next book.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kara Miller
- 06-18-21
Short and cute
Short and cute in a kind of funny, endearing way. Something easy to listen to when you’re doing something else
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1 person found this helpful
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- Eve
- 05-08-22
Cute and Quick Listen!
But the author might have a drinking problem. No shade but there are resources that can help!
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- Anonymous User
- 11-24-21
I would not recommend
The book is not funny nor a tell all
I could not recommend this book, the title has nothing to do with the story line.
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- J.S.
- 04-12-23
underwhelmed
A short story that felt too long. I lost interest quite soon, so I just couldn't be bothered by the "adventures".
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-04-22
Yeah it was free
The story was a series of privaleged snap judgements labeled and presented, as nievety and charm.
The leads grievances were directly caused by their inherent biases and "dreamer" nature. Making all the allegory add up as valid in the last portion of the book by playing into the nature of human beings and a hopeful message. Their only redeeming quality was their college education and taste in film quotes.
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