The Emotionally Absent Mother
How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
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Narrated by:
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Emily Durante
About this listen
The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed.
Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains:
- Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful - and what she was unable to give
- The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse
- How to find the child inside you and fill the "mother gap" through reflections and exercises
- How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)
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Do you struggle with small talk and prefer deep conversation? Are you extremely sensitive to other people's moods? Are you exhausted after being in busy places? If you've answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you may be a Highly Intuitive Person: someone who is especially sensitive to the energy of others. Highly Intuitive People, also known as Intuitive-Sensitives, are a refined group of sensitive people who are said to make up 15-20 per cent of the population.
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Wow!
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
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Life Changing
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Highly Recommended
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Amazing
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Had to return the book
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this book is a waste of time
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Very helpful
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Astonishing information.
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Its worth a listen.
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
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Explaining that an impaired capacity for connection to self and to others underlies most psychological and many physiological problems, clinicians Laurence Heller, PhD, and Aline LaPierre, PsyD, introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model™ (NARM), a unified approach to developmental, attachment, and shock trauma that emphasizes working in the present moment. NARM is a somatically based psychotherapy that helps bring into awareness the parts of self that are disorganized and dysfunctional.
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This book is not just regurgitation of popular self help pop psychology
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By: Laurence Heller, and others
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Do you sometimes feel as if you're just going through the motions in life? Are you good at looking and acting as if you're fine, but secretly feel lonely and disconnected? If so, you are not alone. The world is full of people who have an innate sense that something is wrong with them - who feel they live on the outside looking in, but have no explanation for this feeling and no way to put it into words.
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If you need solutions don't buy this book
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The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults but also affects our physical health and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a biochemical level exactly how parents' chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical "fingerprints" on our brains.
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some disturbing content, overall very imformative
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The Good Daughter Syndrome
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You love your mother, but she drives you crazy. She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it. Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult? Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind? If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
- By Twin of Eyegone on 07-01-24
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The Undervalued Self
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
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What listeners say about The Emotionally Absent Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-07-19
Wonderfully insightful
I ate this book in a couple of days and feel more in tune not only with myself but with my mother. I had a solider like mother and father that didn't take to kindly to tears or to whining. But now I see it's because they, themselves fear of being weak themselves and screwing me up by spoiling me. Tough parents but honest in their motives.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Eliza Sisu
- 11-29-19
Enlightening♡
Wonderful read, I have read many on this subject but found information in this book I'd never heard before. It was very helpful and wonderfully narrated.♡
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-06-19
Wow ....
It ... it cured me. I am free now ... finally I am free. thank you thank you very much thank you i am free. guys I would like to give you some parts of my story you know what i am happy now depression-free I used every bit of my power to make this happen. I am from EGYPT and here without any regret it is a MISSED up system I DID NOT FINDA THERAPIST AND I KNEW THAT I WAS SICK SO SICK I KNEW IT IKNEW IT> AT THE END AFTER FIVE THERAPISTS I HAVE DECIDED TWO THINGS
1. TO NOT GIVE A FU** ABOUT EGYPTIAN MEDICAL SYSTEMS
2.TO NOT GIVE UP
I HAVE READ BOOKS A LOT OF BOOKS, REACHED OUT FOR EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY OF GETTING HELP THAT ICOULD FIND, DID NOT WASTE MY TIME DID NOT WASTE ANY MOMENT ENROLLED IN A PROGRAM IN SCINCE. GUYS
FIVE YEARS GUYS FIVE YEARS OF PURE STRUGGLING JUST STRUGGLE! I AM TOO TIRED TOO TIRED OF THIS WOUNDS TOO TIRED BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE SUCCEDED! FINALLY.
TO YOU THE AUTHOR I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH WALLAHY I AM NOT ABLE TO MY WORDS WOULD NEVER CONSIDEREDTO BE ENOUGH. YOUR WORK IS JUST STUNNING!
AND YEAH I GOT EMOTIONALL WHILE WRITTING THIS :"D
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19 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 03-08-22
narrator sounds very robotic
i cannot stand the reader's voice but the subject matter is life changing and helpful
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1 person found this helpful
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- Crystal Shank
- 07-27-22
Must read!
Great book. The exercises suggested are useful and effective. I'm still doing the work but this helps a lot.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-31-21
Fast track to inner healing
For those having had a difficult mother, this is a necessary book. Doing the work to heal and grow after having had a difficult mother, is a difficult journey, but we must do it. This book has helped me work through things faster than I'd otherwise be able to. Counseling is a necessary and helpful tool. I find that this book helps me heal the roots of the issues faster than I'd otherwise be able to. This book is the fast track to dealing with and healing inner wounds.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Keo
- 07-20-20
Tough and True insights can be gained
Powerful insight into the struggles many adults face daily and the possible source of our struggles.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-28-21
Ground breaking
I struggled with feeling like I do not belong anywhere and feelings of unworthiness. This book helped me define why I became this way and how it happened.
For all the readers who, like me, had to throw away their childhood and grow up to help provide. I feel for you. I see you. You are accepted and worthy and the world is a better place because of you.
Know that your journey to heal the wounds that decision made is long and hard, but it will be worth it.
Respect.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Casey E. Sussman
- 03-04-24
Enlightening Insight
The Good Mother, illuminated my childhood's unmet needs and inspired a more present parenthood. It also enriched my marriage, fostering deeper understanding and connection. Highly recommended for personal growth and relational depth. Will revisit several parts.
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1 person found this helpful
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- ToniRaeMoore
- 06-22-20
Eye Opening it Makes my life make sense
I survived a sexual trauma in childhood, the perpetrator went to prison. However I was left with all the pieces of that trauma at 11yrs old and my emotional absent and emotionally abusive parents. So to say I had coping mechanism is an understatement, but I had always immediately made the excuse that I had gotten them from the sexual trauma without the consideration that they could be from anything else. I mean both my parents took care of my physical needs just fine; ie roof, food, clothing, attempted to keep me safe thru being a teenager albeit they both considered me to be a wild and out of control one. It didn't dawn on me until reading this book that a parent supplies more than just physical needs to a child. Even after I had my own son 10yrs ago. I still hadn't put that together even though my son's emotional life is equally important to me as his physical and spiritual life.
Strangely I had chosen this book because I am a teacher and I hoped to glean some insight on narratives and life situations that students could be living through to help me be more empathetic and understanding their situations better. It is eye opening for sure. I recommend the book as I gained insight about my own life, others lives, and also The Narrative that societies give "Mother" all through out time.
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