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The Other Significant Others
Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
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Narrated by:
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Rhaina Cohen
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By:
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Rhaina Cohen
About this listen
"Author Rhaina Cohen’s vocal warmth and commitment to her ideas make this a touching audiobook. Her thinking and humanitarian spirit are well served by a performance that resonates with her broad sociological perspectives, as well as her desire to connect with listeners."—AudioFile
This program is read by the author.
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?
In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life—spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more—reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life.
Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn’t always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Rhaina Cohen (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter. A perceptive and vivid reporter, she reveals that there are far more pathways to deep connection and fulfillment than we’ve been made to believe. The Other Significant Others is an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
"In her lovingly written The Other Significant Others, Rhaina Cohen does crucial work by questioning easy social categorization and the hierarchies of recognition and privilege that too often put romantically coupled pairs at the top. The Other Significant Others is energetic, open, considered, and beautifully reported. It thrums with a passion for the subject, and is powered by a historically rich, intellectually serious curiosity about the relationships that provide backbone and ballast to so many of our lives, but which have only recently begun to receive the consideration they are due."—Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author of All the Single Ladies and Good and Mad
"An absorbing overhaul of everything you thought you knew about friendship. The Other Significant Others is a platonic revelation and a revolution."—Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic
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It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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The MANipulator manual. Keep your man interested and begging for more without playing games. So many women get in trouble in their love lives, and 99.9 percent of that trouble could have been avoided if they'd said "Well, f**k him!" a bit more often. Too many women are way too nice and compliant to their men, especially when these men don't deserve that kind of treatment. I, as a dating coach and author of books for women who want to get men, cannot take it anymore.
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...
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Are you ready to unlock the greatest resource of your life? Gabby Bernstein has written the ultimate self-help guide, offering a revolutionary practice to radically shift your core beliefs and connect you to an infallible inner guidance system: the energy of Self within you. In this groundbreaking book, Gabby demystifies the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, taking its life-changing teachings out of the therapist’s office and into your everyday life.
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Self Serving
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What listeners say about The Other Significant Others
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- Jimmy
- 02-13-24
Absolutely phenomenal!
The book provides a fresh perspective on what friendship can be in a way that is deeply compelling and very well written. Also, the way the book is read by the author makes it even better.
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- Barbara
- 10-03-24
Thank you.
This is a very significant book. I am thankful this topic is being researched, thought more about and shared. I do think the author is highly idealistic and I can understand why. Those kinds of friendships can be life-changing but also painful. Very painful. Thank you.
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- Shannon D.
- 02-19-24
Start the Revolution!!!!
I am an avid fan of Ezra Klein's podcast and was enthralled listening to him interview Ms. Cohen. As a board certified psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner, this loneliness topic is coming up more and more in my client sessions. Within a couple of days of hearing their conversation, I purchased the audio version as I have a visual disability. I an excited to layer in some of these topics into my clinical practice!
The stories in this book were mesmerizing, and it times heart wrenching. Much gratitude to the interviewees for their candor and vulnerability. Ms. Cohen raises very interesting policy alternatives to support these unique partnerships. I can only hope this book becomes a NYT bestseller so that the Revolution can begin. I have done my part by purchasing 2, one for me and one for my platonic life partner of 35 years!!
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- Destiny DiMattei
- 02-24-24
Best book I’ve read in a while, and I will definitely recommend it!
I am a person with a few marginalized identities, mainly a sexual and disabled. I have thought that I might never find a romantic partner. Plus, I have thought to myself that I do not even know fully if I feel romantic, but whether or not any of my relationships would never be classified as romance I have Now seen and been inspired to know that friendships bounds are endless. Best book I’ve read in a while!
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- Hakuna
- 02-26-24
I want everyone to read this book
I loved this book and want to tell everyone to read and/or listen to it. The stories were inspiring, illuminating, and thought provoking; and, the historical knowledge imparted about friendship and marriage felt revelatory and accessible. More than that, I found the idea of reimagining life with friendship (or just something other than the default of coupledom) at the center very compelling. Considering the challenging and uncertain times we live in as well as the fact that there is no safety net for most of us, regardless of relationship status, makes it even more persuasive. It takes a village...to raise children...and to do so many things...like save the world. Why limit ourselves to the prescribed defaults? In addition to this, it's no secret that we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. We have been for some time. The antidote to loneliness is connection, and this book opens up the possibilities in terms of who and how we connect as well as demonstrating the importance and joy of prioritizing connection. All that said, I highly recommend this book and suggest you give it a go. I accessed it via audiobook, which is read by the author, and found it absolutely delightful.
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- M.Celita
- 03-04-24
Lots of research
Loved getting an inside view into these kinds of friendships and understanding the challenges and rewards that can come with them.
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- Lms
- 04-06-24
Such an important idea -thank you writing this
This book is well written and nicely narrated. This is such an important idea and it’s amazing how little it’s discussed. Thank you for also including asexuality in the discussion. There are so many other ways to have meaningful connections in life and it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels that way!
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- N. Utley
- 03-10-24
Awakening of Relationships
This read helped me define various relationships I have and have had throughout my life path.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-13-24
A highlight of the importance of friendship
This book serves as a road map to a more inclusive world and less lonely future for us all.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-27-24
The various types of friendships are vastly under represented
I love how the author brought to life the often overlooked and undermined friendships that bring color into our universe. My friends and I discuss this book at length at our virtual book club. I wish she highlighted healthy friendship dynamics between heterosexual men and women.
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