The Other Significant Others
Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
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Narrated by:
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Rhaina Cohen
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By:
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Rhaina Cohen
About this listen
"Author Rhaina Cohen’s vocal warmth and commitment to her ideas make this a touching audiobook. Her thinking and humanitarian spirit are well served by a performance that resonates with her broad sociological perspectives, as well as her desire to connect with listeners."—AudioFile
This program is read by the author.
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?
In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life—spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more—reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life.
Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn’t always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Rhaina Cohen (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter. A perceptive and vivid reporter, she reveals that there are far more pathways to deep connection and fulfillment than we’ve been made to believe. The Other Significant Others is an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
"In her lovingly written The Other Significant Others, Rhaina Cohen does crucial work by questioning easy social categorization and the hierarchies of recognition and privilege that too often put romantically coupled pairs at the top. The Other Significant Others is energetic, open, considered, and beautifully reported. It thrums with a passion for the subject, and is powered by a historically rich, intellectually serious curiosity about the relationships that provide backbone and ballast to so many of our lives, but which have only recently begun to receive the consideration they are due."—Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author of All the Single Ladies and Good and Mad
"An absorbing overhaul of everything you thought you knew about friendship. The Other Significant Others is a platonic revelation and a revolution."—Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic
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- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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The 5 Second Rule
- Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in five seconds. Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears. What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?
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I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
By: Mel Robbins
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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The Mastery of Self
- A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle.
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The information and advice is 100% totally solid!
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What listeners say about The Other Significant Others
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jimmy
- 02-13-24
Absolutely phenomenal!
The book provides a fresh perspective on what friendship can be in a way that is deeply compelling and very well written. Also, the way the book is read by the author makes it even better.
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- Lms
- 04-06-24
Such an important idea -thank you writing this
This book is well written and nicely narrated. This is such an important idea and it’s amazing how little it’s discussed. Thank you for also including asexuality in the discussion. There are so many other ways to have meaningful connections in life and it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels that way!
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- Barbara
- 10-03-24
Thank you.
This is a very significant book. I am thankful this topic is being researched, thought more about and shared. I do think the author is highly idealistic and I can understand why. Those kinds of friendships can be life-changing but also painful. Very painful. Thank you.
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- Destiny DiMattei
- 02-24-24
Best book I’ve read in a while, and I will definitely recommend it!
I am a person with a few marginalized identities, mainly a sexual and disabled. I have thought that I might never find a romantic partner. Plus, I have thought to myself that I do not even know fully if I feel romantic, but whether or not any of my relationships would never be classified as romance I have Now seen and been inspired to know that friendships bounds are endless. Best book I’ve read in a while!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Shannon D.
- 02-19-24
Start the Revolution!!!!
I am an avid fan of Ezra Klein's podcast and was enthralled listening to him interview Ms. Cohen. As a board certified psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner, this loneliness topic is coming up more and more in my client sessions. Within a couple of days of hearing their conversation, I purchased the audio version as I have a visual disability. I an excited to layer in some of these topics into my clinical practice!
The stories in this book were mesmerizing, and it times heart wrenching. Much gratitude to the interviewees for their candor and vulnerability. Ms. Cohen raises very interesting policy alternatives to support these unique partnerships. I can only hope this book becomes a NYT bestseller so that the Revolution can begin. I have done my part by purchasing 2, one for me and one for my platonic life partner of 35 years!!
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- Hakuna
- 02-26-24
I want everyone to read this book
I loved this book and want to tell everyone to read and/or listen to it. The stories were inspiring, illuminating, and thought provoking; and, the historical knowledge imparted about friendship and marriage felt revelatory and accessible. More than that, I found the idea of reimagining life with friendship (or just something other than the default of coupledom) at the center very compelling. Considering the challenging and uncertain times we live in as well as the fact that there is no safety net for most of us, regardless of relationship status, makes it even more persuasive. It takes a village...to raise children...and to do so many things...like save the world. Why limit ourselves to the prescribed defaults? In addition to this, it's no secret that we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. We have been for some time. The antidote to loneliness is connection, and this book opens up the possibilities in terms of who and how we connect as well as demonstrating the importance and joy of prioritizing connection. All that said, I highly recommend this book and suggest you give it a go. I accessed it via audiobook, which is read by the author, and found it absolutely delightful.
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- M.Celita
- 03-04-24
Lots of research
Loved getting an inside view into these kinds of friendships and understanding the challenges and rewards that can come with them.
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- N. Utley
- 03-10-24
Awakening of Relationships
This read helped me define various relationships I have and have had throughout my life path.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-13-24
A highlight of the importance of friendship
This book serves as a road map to a more inclusive world and less lonely future for us all.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-27-24
The various types of friendships are vastly under represented
I love how the author brought to life the often overlooked and undermined friendships that bring color into our universe. My friends and I discuss this book at length at our virtual book club. I wish she highlighted healthy friendship dynamics between heterosexual men and women.
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