
The Other Significant Others
Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
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Narrated by:
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Rhaina Cohen
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By:
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Rhaina Cohen
About this listen
"Author Rhaina Cohen’s vocal warmth and commitment to her ideas make this a touching audiobook. Her thinking and humanitarian spirit are well served by a performance that resonates with her broad sociological perspectives, as well as her desire to connect with listeners."—AudioFile
This program is read by the author.
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?
In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life—spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more—reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life.
Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn’t always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Rhaina Cohen (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter. A perceptive and vivid reporter, she reveals that there are far more pathways to deep connection and fulfillment than we’ve been made to believe. The Other Significant Others is an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
"In her lovingly written The Other Significant Others, Rhaina Cohen does crucial work by questioning easy social categorization and the hierarchies of recognition and privilege that too often put romantically coupled pairs at the top. The Other Significant Others is energetic, open, considered, and beautifully reported. It thrums with a passion for the subject, and is powered by a historically rich, intellectually serious curiosity about the relationships that provide backbone and ballast to so many of our lives, but which have only recently begun to receive the consideration they are due."—Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author of All the Single Ladies and Good and Mad
"An absorbing overhaul of everything you thought you knew about friendship. The Other Significant Others is a platonic revelation and a revolution."—Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic
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A Book I Wish I Had 30 Years Ago
- By DeBora M.Ricks on 05-24-25
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The Art of Loving
- By: Erich Fromm
- Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us are unable to develop our capacities for love on the only level that really counts — a love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. Learning to love, like other arts, demands practice and concentration. Even more than any other art, it demands genuine insight and understanding.
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How this book got such good marks is beyond me.
- By Wyson store on 10-31-20
By: Erich Fromm
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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Modern Friendship
- How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections
- By: Anna Goldfarb
- Narrated by: Anna Goldfarb
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.
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Wish there was a pdf included
- By Kat Rose on 06-24-24
By: Anna Goldfarb
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Uncertain
- The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure
- By: Maggie Jackson
- Narrated by: Maggie Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In an era of terrifying unpredictability, we race to address complex crises with quick, sure algorithms, bullet points, and tweets. How could we find the clarity and vision so urgently needed today by being unsure? Uncertain is about the triumph of doing just that. A scientific adventure set on the front lines of a volatile era, this epiphany of a book by award-winning author Maggie Jackson shows us how to skillfully confront the unexpected and the unknown, and how to harness not-knowing in the service of wisdom, invention, mutual understanding, and resilience.
By: Maggie Jackson
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The Art of Showing Up
- How to Be There for Yourself and Your People
- By: Rachel Wilkerson Miller
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to adult friendships, we’re woefully inept: We barely manage to show up for our own commitments, let alone maintain our relationships. What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate - one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.
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Just what I needed!
- By Gari Dozo on 04-29-23
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Ace
- What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
- By: Angela Chen
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience.
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Thank you, Angela!
- By akaMike on 10-10-20
By: Angela Chen
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Radical Friendship
- Seven Ways to Love Yourself and Find Your People in an Unjust World
- By: Kate Johnson
- Narrated by: Kate Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Grounded in the Buddha’s teachings on spiritual friendship, Radical Friendship shares seven strategies to help us embody our deepest values in all of our relationships. Drawing on her experiences as a leading meditation teacher, as well as personal stories of growing up multiracial in a racist world, Kate Johnson brings a fresh take on time-honored wisdom to help us connect more authentically with ourselves, with our friends and family, and within our communities.
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The friend I I need
- By Mirza K on 03-07-23
By: Kate Johnson
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Open Deeply
- A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships
- By: Kate Loree
- Narrated by: Carol Jacobanis
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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A full one-fifth of the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point in their lives, and 29 percent of adults under 30 today consider open relationships to be morally acceptable—yet there are few resources to turn to when it comes to navigating this more non-traditional and explorative territory.
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Very important book
- By J. Oakley on 12-13-22
By: Kate Loree
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I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)
- Finding Unfiltered, Real-Life Friendships in This Crazy, Chaotic World
- By: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
By: Amy Weatherly, and others
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The Joy of Connections
- 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life
- By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, Allison Gilbert - contributor, Pierre Lehu - contributor
- Narrated by: Tovah Feldshuh, Allison Gilbert, Pierre Lehu
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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When Surgeon General Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm that loneliness “represents an urgent public health concern”—exacerbated by social media overuse, the residual effects of the pandemic, and the lack of meaningful relationships—trusted therapist Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer knew that her unique perspective and expertise could help. Long beloved for breaking stigmas around sexual problems, Dr. Ruth made it her mission to help individuals break free from the bonds of hopelessness and isolation.
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Dr Ruth’s Goodbye message to the lonely
- By JustMe on 11-17-24
By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, and others
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The Art of the Interesting
- What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It
- By: Lorraine Besser PhD
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know anyone who's truly living The Good Life? Traditionally, philosophers and psychologists have thought of the Good Life in terms of happiness or meaning, or some combination of both. But, if it’s really that simple, if all you need is more happiness or meaning to get to the Good Life, why aren’t more of us achieving that truly “good” life? You’ve hit all the traditional markers, jumped on the happiness train, committed to a gratitude practice, sought purpose in your work, and yet The Good Life you’re seeking, is still out of reach.
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Interesting idea, but lacks depth
- By Alex Weber on 02-25-25
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How to Be Enough
- Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists
- By: Ellen Hendriksen
- Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Ellen Hendriksen—clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Yourself—charts a flexible, forgiving, and freeing path, all without giving up the excellence your high standards and hard work have gotten you. She delivers seven shifts—including from self-criticism to kindness, control to authenticity, procrastination to productivity, comparison to contentment—to find self-acceptance, rewrite the Inner Rulebook, and most of all, cultivate the authentic human connections we’re all craving.
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Revealing
- By Anonymous User on 05-21-25
By: Ellen Hendriksen
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It's Not Me, It's You
- Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.
- By: John Kim, Vanessa Bennett
- Narrated by: John Kim, Vanessa Bennett
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things.
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Important has a 't'
- By Tamara on 01-02-23
By: John Kim, and others
Thank you.
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Absolutely phenomenal!
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The stories in this book were mesmerizing, and it times heart wrenching. Much gratitude to the interviewees for their candor and vulnerability. Ms. Cohen raises very interesting policy alternatives to support these unique partnerships. I can only hope this book becomes a NYT bestseller so that the Revolution can begin. I have done my part by purchasing 2, one for me and one for my platonic life partner of 35 years!!
Start the Revolution!!!!
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Best book I’ve read in a while, and I will definitely recommend it!
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I want everyone to read this book
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Lots of research
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Such an important idea -thank you writing this
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Awakening of Relationships
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A highlight of the importance of friendship
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The various types of friendships are vastly under represented
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