
The Other Significant Others
Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center
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Narrated by:
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Rhaina Cohen
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By:
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Rhaina Cohen
About this listen
"Author Rhaina Cohen’s vocal warmth and commitment to her ideas make this a touching audiobook. Her thinking and humanitarian spirit are well served by a performance that resonates with her broad sociological perspectives, as well as her desire to connect with listeners."—AudioFile
This program is read by the author.
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?
In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be in a romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life—spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more—reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they show that orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life.
Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn’t always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships—not just what we’re supposed to want—and transforms how we define a fulfilling life.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Rhaina Cohen (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rhaina Cohen’s moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter. A perceptive and vivid reporter, she reveals that there are far more pathways to deep connection and fulfillment than we’ve been made to believe. The Other Significant Others is an arresting work of compassion and insight."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast
"In her lovingly written The Other Significant Others, Rhaina Cohen does crucial work by questioning easy social categorization and the hierarchies of recognition and privilege that too often put romantically coupled pairs at the top. The Other Significant Others is energetic, open, considered, and beautifully reported. It thrums with a passion for the subject, and is powered by a historically rich, intellectually serious curiosity about the relationships that provide backbone and ballast to so many of our lives, but which have only recently begun to receive the consideration they are due."—Rebecca Traister, New York Times bestselling author of All the Single Ladies and Good and Mad
"An absorbing overhaul of everything you thought you knew about friendship. The Other Significant Others is a platonic revelation and a revolution."—Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic
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- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Bumble BFF’s resident friend expert identifies the 9 most common conflict types in women's platonic relationships, sharing practical strategies to resolve issues and strengthen ties.
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Much needed understanding
- By Cassie on 06-11-25
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Modern Friendship
- How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections
- By: Anna Goldfarb
- Narrated by: Anna Goldfarb
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.
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Wish there was a pdf included
- By Kat Rose on 06-24-24
By: Anna Goldfarb
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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The Art of Loving
- By: Erich Fromm
- Narrated by: Nathan McMillan
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us are unable to develop our capacities for love on the only level that really counts — a love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. Learning to love, like other arts, demands practice and concentration. Even more than any other art, it demands genuine insight and understanding.
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How this book got such good marks is beyond me.
- By Wyson store on 10-31-20
By: Erich Fromm
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The Art of Showing Up
- How to Be There for Yourself and Your People
- By: Rachel Wilkerson Miller
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to adult friendships, we’re woefully inept: We barely manage to show up for our own commitments, let alone maintain our relationships. What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate - one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.
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Just what I needed!
- By Gari Dozo on 04-29-23
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You Will Find Your People
- By: Lane Moore
- Narrated by: Lane Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Like many people navigating adulthood, Lane Moore thought she would have friends by now. Movies, books, and TV shows tell us we should’ve already found our people by the time we’re adults, or there must be something wrong with us. But where do you find these close friends once you’ve left high school or college? Is it even possible? You Will Find Your People is the groundbreaking guide to making—and keeping—the friends we’ve all been desperately waiting for.
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Cringy
- By Rachel on 07-06-23
By: Lane Moore
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Uncertain
- The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure
- By: Maggie Jackson
- Narrated by: Maggie Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In an era of terrifying unpredictability, we race to address complex crises with quick, sure algorithms, bullet points, and tweets. How could we find the clarity and vision so urgently needed today by being unsure? Uncertain is about the triumph of doing just that. A scientific adventure set on the front lines of a volatile era, this epiphany of a book by award-winning author Maggie Jackson shows us how to skillfully confront the unexpected and the unknown, and how to harness not-knowing in the service of wisdom, invention, mutual understanding, and resilience.
By: Maggie Jackson
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Ace
- What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
- By: Angela Chen
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience.
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Thank you, Angela!
- By akaMike on 10-10-20
By: Angela Chen
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The Joy of Connections
- 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life
- By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, Allison Gilbert - contributor, Pierre Lehu - contributor
- Narrated by: Tovah Feldshuh, Allison Gilbert, Pierre Lehu
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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When Surgeon General Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm that loneliness “represents an urgent public health concern”—exacerbated by social media overuse, the residual effects of the pandemic, and the lack of meaningful relationships—trusted therapist Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer knew that her unique perspective and expertise could help. Long beloved for breaking stigmas around sexual problems, Dr. Ruth made it her mission to help individuals break free from the bonds of hopelessness and isolation.
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Dr Ruth’s Goodbye message to the lonely
- By JustMe on 11-17-24
By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, and others
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How to Be Enough
- Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists
- By: Ellen Hendriksen
- Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Ellen Hendriksen—clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Yourself—charts a flexible, forgiving, and freeing path, all without giving up the excellence your high standards and hard work have gotten you. She delivers seven shifts—including from self-criticism to kindness, control to authenticity, procrastination to productivity, comparison to contentment—to find self-acceptance, rewrite the Inner Rulebook, and most of all, cultivate the authentic human connections we’re all craving.
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Revealing
- By Anonymous User on 05-21-25
By: Ellen Hendriksen
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Find Your People
- Building Deep Community in a Lonely World
- By: Jennie Allen
- Narrated by: Jennie Allen
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community.
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Christian
- By E. Wood on 04-08-22
By: Jennie Allen
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The Good Life
- Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
- By: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Narrated by: Robert Waldinger MD, Marc Schulz PhD
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes for a happy life, a fulfilling life? A good life? In their “captivating” (The Wall Street Journal) book, the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted, show that the answer to these questions may be closer than you realize.
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very little practical advice
- By Kindle Customer on 01-16-23
By: Robert Waldinger MD, and others
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Talk
- The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves
- By: Alison Wood Brooks
- Narrated by: Alison Wood Brooks
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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In Talk, Brooks shows why conversing a little more effectively can make a big difference in the quality of our close personal relationships as well as our professional success. Drawing on the new science of conversation, Brooks distills lessons that show how we can better understand, learn from, and delight each other.
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Meh, Underwhelmed
- By Jennifer Thomas on 06-05-25
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
Thank you.
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Absolutely phenomenal!
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Best book I’ve read in a while, and I will definitely recommend it!
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The stories in this book were mesmerizing, and it times heart wrenching. Much gratitude to the interviewees for their candor and vulnerability. Ms. Cohen raises very interesting policy alternatives to support these unique partnerships. I can only hope this book becomes a NYT bestseller so that the Revolution can begin. I have done my part by purchasing 2, one for me and one for my platonic life partner of 35 years!!
Start the Revolution!!!!
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Such an important idea -thank you writing this
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Awakening of Relationships
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A highlight of the importance of friendship
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I want everyone to read this book
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Lots of research
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The various types of friendships are vastly under represented
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