
Getting to Zero
How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Jayson Gaddis
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By:
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Jayson Gaddis
About this listen
The counselor, teacher, and founder of The Relationship School reveals the origins of conflict styles, and how to stop avoiding and resolve conflict in relationships with loved ones.
Conflicts in our closest relationships are scary because so much is at stake. If the conflict doesn't go well, we could lose our marriage, our family, or our job, all connected to our security and survival. So we do just about anything not to lose those relationships, including avoid conflict, betraying ourselves or becoming dishonest. Unresolved conflict affects every single aspect of our lives, from self-confidence to physical and mental health.
Jayson Gaddis is a personal trainer for relationships and one of the world’s leading authorities on interpersonal conflict. For almost two decades, Gaddis has helped individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. He helps people see the wisdom in conflict and how to get to zero - how “clean and clear” we feel with others when we have successfully worked through a disagreement. We get to a place where there is “zero” conflict.
In Getting to Zero, Gaddis shows the listener how to stop running away from uncomfortable conversations and instead learn how to work through them. Through funny personal stories, uncomfortable examples, and effective tools and skills, he shows the listener how to move from disconnection to connection, acceptance, and understanding. This method upgrades the old tired and static conflict resolution approaches and offers a fresh, street-level, user-friendly road map on exactly how to work through conflict with the people you care most about.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Jayson Gaddis (P)2021 Hachette GoListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“In this compelling guide to approaching conflict in our most intimate relationships, Jayson Gaddis offers a science-informed, practical toolbox for resolving the inevitable tensions that arise in our personal and professional lives. Filled with useful concepts and readily applicable steps to sensing and solving interpersonal challenges, repairing ruptures when they occur, this book is not about trying to achieve a life without difficulties in our relationships, but is about moving toward a receptive state of calm and clarity - a state our author names as “zero” - in which we can engage our inner life and our connections with others with kindness and presence that research suggests are at the core of mutually rewarding, generative ways of living with compassion, connection, and well-being.” (Daniel J. Siegel, MD, executive director, Mindsight Institute, New York Times best-selling author of IntraConnected, Mind, Mindsight, and Aware)
“Jayson Gaddis has written, in our view, one of the most clear and helpful books on this endemic feature of our humanity: conflict. If you want to know what conflict is and how to resolve it, Getting to Zero will give you to that destination. We recommend this book to everyone who has ever felt that twitch which plunges us into darkness. While it is replete with accessible theory about what is happening in your mind and brain, it is even more generous with practical guidance from that will lead you from conflict to connection.” (Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples)
"As a couples therapist, professor, and relationship educator, I am excited to recommend Getting to Zero to my clients and students. Jayson Gaddis is a magnificent teacher - thoughtful, warm, nerdy, practical, and wise. The approach he offers on these pages is one that serves our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls. Dive in! You are going to be so glad you did...and the people you love will be so glad too!" (Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back)
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Couldn’t finish
- By Natasha Kolganova on 08-28-24
By: Pauline Brown
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Accountable
- The Rise of Citizen Capitalism
- By: Michael O'Leary, Warren Valdmanis
- Narrated by: Joe Knezevich
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Corporations are broken, reflecting no purpose deeper than profit. But the tools we are relying on to fix them - corporate social responsibility, divestment, impact investing, and government control - risk making our problems worse. With lively storytelling and careful analysis, O’Leary and Valdmanis cut through the tired dogma of current economic thinking to reveal a hopeful truth: If we can make our corporations accountable to a deeper purpose, we can make capitalism both prosperous and good.
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mandatory reading
- By joseph on 02-01-21
By: Michael O'Leary, and others
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Master of None
- How a Jack-of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top
- By: Clifford Hudson
- Narrated by: Clifford Hudson
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Most people don't need to be experts in their field. Yes, the successful know more than the average person about a particular topic, and they often possess a better-than-average ability with a particular skill set; but not everyone who is successful is an expert, he makes clear. And yet we continue to deeply value the expertise ideal. In Master of None, Hudson turns expertise on its head and shows that by embracing variety and becoming more versatile, anyone can succeed and become more open to different opportunities in life.
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Not great, not bad
- By Brian Sachetta on 01-27-21
By: Clifford Hudson
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How to Get Unstuck
- Breaking Free from Barriers to Your Productivity
- By: Matt Perman
- Narrated by: Stu Gray
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Matt Perman has spent his career helping people learn how to do work in a gospel-centered and effective way, combining theological substance with practical self-management. In How to Get Unstuck, he will walk you step-by-step through the core principles that free you to be more effective in everything you do. Drawing on the wisdom of the Bible and on the best of today's research, How to Get Unstuck shows believers and non-believers alike how to live productive, integrated lives and develops a poignant portrayal of true effectiveness.
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Don’t remember God being mentioned in sample
- By Matt Galster on 04-21-23
By: Matt Perman
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Maybe It's You
- Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.
- By: Lauren Handel Zander
- Narrated by: Lauren Ruff, Lauren Handel Zander - introduction
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Maybe It's You picks up where You Are a Badass leaves off - this no-nonsense, practical manual to help listeners figure out not just what they want out of life, but how to actually get there. In Maybe It's You, life coach Lauren Handel Zander walks listeners through the innovative step-by-step process that has transformed the lives of tens of thousands of her clients, and explains how anyone can achieve amazing things when we stop lying and finally start keeping the promises we make to ourselves.
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Disappointing
- By Alex Hannig on 01-25-18
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The Measure of Our Age
- Navigating Care, Safety, Money, and Meaning Later in Life
- By: M.T. Connolly
- Narrated by: Tracie Frank
- Length: 12 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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As tens of millions of Americans are living longer lives, longevity is creating challenges that cut across race, class, and gender. Caregivers help older relatives for “free,” but with high costs to themselves. The institutions built to protect older people—like nursing homes and guardianship—too often harm them instead. And epidemics of isolation and loneliness make older people vulnerable to all sorts of harm. In The Measure of Our Age, elder justice expert and MacArthur “genius” grant recipient M.T. Connolly investigates the systems we count on to protect us as we age.
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A “must read” (or listen)
- By Amazon Customer on 04-11-24
By: M.T. Connolly
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Everything Isn't Terrible
- Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down
- By: Kathleen Smith
- Narrated by: Kathleen Smith, Christine Lakin
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Licensed therapist and mental health writer Dr. Kathleen Smith offers a smart, practical antidote to our anxiety-ridden times. Everything Isn't Terrible is an informative and practical guide—featuring a healthy dose of humor—for people who want to become beacons of calmness in their families, at work, and in our anxious world. Everything Isn't Terrible will inspire you to confront your anxious self, take charge of your anxiety, and increase your own capacity to choose how you respond to it.
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Do you get frustrated with people! LISTEN TO THIS
- By ChelseaBelsea on 07-23-20
By: Kathleen Smith
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How to Have Impossible Conversations
- A Very Practical Guide
- By: Peter Boghossian, James Lindsay
- Narrated by: Peter Boghossian
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversation—whether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Boghossian and Lindsay teach the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds.
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Important Skills Spoiled By Author Opinions
- By Robin on 02-27-20
By: Peter Boghossian, and others
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The Secret to Attracting Money
- By: Joe Vitale
- Narrated by: Joe Vitale
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Original Recording
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The potential to attract money and create abundant wealth doesn't reside in your job, your circumstances, or even the economy. It resides within you. Your mind is equipped with the natural ability to attract as much money as you want and need - at anytime, anyplace, in any financial climate, without struggle. You just have to know how to trigger it.
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What's blocking your from wealth?
- By Croix on 10-18-17
By: Joe Vitale
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The Clarity Cleanse
- 12 Steps to Finding Renewed Energy, Spiritual Fulfillment, and Emotional Healing
- By: Habib Sadeghi DO, Gwyneth Paltrow - Foreword
- Narrated by: David Booth
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the powerful mind-body strategy Dr. Habib Sadegh developed to help himself recover from cancer more than 20 years ago, The Clarity Cleanse will enable you to help your mind clear and your body heal. A regular GOOP contributor in health and spirituality, Dr. Sadeghi shows you how to turn obstacles into healing and energizing opportunities. Because negative emotions actually do damage on the cellular level, The Clarity Cleanse offers guidance for cleansing both your body and your mind.
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Missing content from PDF?
- By jdja on 02-03-18
By: Habib Sadeghi DO, and others
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Traumatized
- Identify, Understand, and Cope with PTSD and Emotional Stress
- By: Kati Morton LMFT
- Narrated by: Kati Morton LMFT
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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We hear the terms trauma and PTSD more and more. Yet many people still believe that trauma can only result from experiences that are particularly extreme. But trauma is an emotional response that can stem from a wide variety of upsetting experiences, leaving us feeling anxious, weighed down by negative emotions or memories, or feeling like we lack security.
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trauna
- By kathrin johnson on 12-07-22
By: Kati Morton LMFT
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More
- Find Your Personal Calling and Live Life to the Fullest Measure
- By: Todd Wilson
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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More meets Christians where they're at, acknowledging the roots of their discontent and demonstrating how to move from inspiration and desire into action. Church strategist and ministry activator Todd Wilson shows how all believers can live more abundant lives around the uniqueness of how they were made and what they are called to do.
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Great content but resources missing
- By Kindle Customer on 05-04-25
By: Todd Wilson
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The Story of You
- An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self
- By: Ian Morgan Cron
- Narrated by: Ian Morgan Cron
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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With this powerful tool, Cron shows us how each type can shed their broken stories and harness their unique power within to become who we are truly meant to be, shedding the unhappiness we accumulate by trying to live out of the wrong story. Filled with examples from people whose lives have been transformed for the better, Cron maps out a guide for using Enneagram wisdom to reauthor your life and experience deep inner transformation, healing, and happiness.
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Good but miss the mark
- By TJ on 01-11-23
By: Ian Morgan Cron
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The Hydrogen Revolution
- A Blueprint for the Future of Clean Energy
- By: Marco Alverà
- Narrated by: Matthew Spencer
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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We’re constantly told that our planet is in crisis; that to save it, we must stop traveling, stop eating meat, even stop having children. But in The Hydrogen Revolution, Marco Alverà argues that we don’t need to upend our lives. We just need a new kind of fuel: hydrogen.
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Hopeful and realistic future
- By Rachel Braddock Bayles on 03-25-24
By: Marco Alverà
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The Enneagram of Belonging
- A Compassionate Journey of Self-Acceptance
- By: Christopher L. Heuertz
- Narrated by: Christopher L. Heuertz
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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While most contemporary Enneagram books stop at the descriptions of the nine types, Enneagram teacher and The Sacred Enneagram best-selling author Chris Heuertz uncovers the missing link in our journey of living into our true self: radical self-compassion that can bring us back to belonging. Rather than get stuck on stereotypes or curated personality, Heuertz proposes we develop an honest relationship with our type, confronting our "inner dragons," practicing self-compassion, and thereby coming to fully belong to ourselves - and, ultimately, to love itself.
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Interesting but please let someone else read it !
- By Elaine Polkhovsky on 05-22-20
Wow.
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My husband noticed a change in me immediately!
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Like I said, I wish I had found this book years ago, but I am blessed to have found it now! I have shared it with all of my friends and family, too!
Thank you so much, Jason! I love hearing your wife and daughter on the podcast as well. It definitely brings a personal touch to your show / podcast.
The narration is great, it’s easy to understand, and can be applied immediately, even if you might be in the middle of a conflict. Matter fact, I shared it recently with my current partner he listened to it, and we were able to resolve that issue and move forward in a new way.
I can’t thank you enough for this amazing work you’re doing Jason!
This book may have helped save my marriage
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Amazing contribution to the human experience
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It’s a counseling book for counselors. Diagnosis isn’t really mentioned but unhealthy, out of balance attitudes and actions are given practical actions to turn into healthy relating, whereby diagnosis wouldn’t be applicable anymore anyway (tendencies/propensity vs. active/inactive character habits).
Worth the work!!
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A must read
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Gave me the words I needed
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Amazing!
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The Conflict management and self-awareness bible
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Beautiful
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