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Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
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Publisher's summary
Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers tackles the subjects that other baby audiobooks ignore:
- Why you shouldn't touch the wand in the sonogram room
- The exact moment your opinion no longer counts
- How friends and family will respond to the news
- How TV and baby classes have lied to us
- Which poop jokes to expect in the delivery room
- How to convert diapers into usable guilt
- How to insure your child says your name first
- And much, much more
Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers includes a special twin version of fatherhood in the event that you are so much a man that you knocked up your wife twice at the same time.
Don't go into fatherhood unprepared; listen Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers today and know what to expect before it's too late.
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In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
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Witty and Heartfelt
- By Beth M. Honeycutt on 07-03-24
By: Nia Vardalos
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Inconceivable
- A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift
- By: Carolyn Savage, Sean Savage
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Danny Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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A medical mistake during an IVF procedure.An unthinkable situation....you're pregnant with the wrong baby. You can terminate, but you can't keep him. What choice would you make?
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"Misconception" and "Inconceivable"
- By Simone on 12-17-12
By: Carolyn Savage, and others
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This Is Not Over
- A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby, Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
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Schuyler's Monster
- A Father's Journey with His Wordless Daughter
- By: Robert Rummel-Hudson
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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When Schuyler Rummel-Hudson was 18 months old, a question about her lack of speech by her pediatrician set in motion a journey that continues today. When she was diagnosed with bilateral perisylvian polymicrogyria (an extremely rare neurological disorder), her parents were given a name for the monster that had been stalking them from doctor to doctor, and from despair to hope, and back again.
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Must-read for medical parents & those who ❤them
- By Kelly A. Wolske on 05-23-18
What listeners say about Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jamie Robertson
- 05-29-21
So VERY true for any and all fathers out there
Father of two here (and no, not the "T" word, thank GOD). I'm listening to this while installing ceiling fans into my childrens' rooms, and laughing all the way. This is funny because it's true and told in Ben Wallace's own unique and winsomely funny way.
I have a few quibbles here and there about certain precise specifics (because every kid is so different, and because wipe warmers were a life saver while our children were both newborns), but each section rings aloud with hilarious frankness.
And buy this book for your fellow dads, and your dad and dad-in-law. It's fun for every parent.
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1 person found this helpful
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- steven
- 02-22-19
absolutely amazing
Being not only an expectant father and a fan of both the narrator and author, I loved this book. everyone needs to read this, its fonking hilarious and full of great tips.
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5 people found this helpful
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- IT/IS Professor and Dad
- 12-14-20
fun listen for dads. helpful for expecting dad
fun. true. trip down memory lane because my kids are grown. Phil thron is perfect
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anders Skov
- 02-17-23
Very enjoyable. And terrifying. For me at least
It is a great book about the frightening delightful shocking thrilling entertaining exciting gratifying amusing of becoming a dad.
With good advice in a fun way.
And Phil is a great narrator.
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- Corinn
- 06-10-19
that's not what toxoplasmosis is... but
it's still a really funny book with good advice. it made me laugh out loud!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 08-27-19
Entertaining and usefull one
Really liked it, almost made me binge it. Hope the abvices in it ll work...
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-30-21
Why would a review need a headline?
Kind of funny, only a little sexist, full of practical advice. I feel like this is a more useful Dad book than most, but shouldn't be the only one you read.
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- Claudio Novoa
- 06-03-19
Funny
it's much more funny than useful, really. But the narrator makes it worth the time tho
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2 people found this helpful