Andrea Vernon and The Big Axe Acquisition
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Narrated by:
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Bahni Turpin
About this listen
The supervillains of DESTRON have conquered the country, The Big Axe has been imprisoned, and the heroes of the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection have been reduced to hiding behind a force field surrounding New York City.
And if that's not enough, Andrea Vernon is pregnant. With a Little Axe.
But Andrea’s not one to sit on the sidelines. She has to make a plan to save the country, rescue her boyfriend, and figure out what exactly people do with babies. And a whole new slate of enemies is coming for CUP, led by the newly installed dictator of America, Dr. Robotfury, and his ingenious mecha-administrative assistant who bears a rather frightening resemblance to Andrea.
It’s a lot to wrap up before you go on maternity leave.
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Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren. Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
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A Normal Life in an Abnormal World
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Scum of the Earth
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Ezra Barker is a traitor. When the Merg invaded Earth, he didn’t fight or even hide. He cooperated, helping them as they seized control of the planet and began their pillaging of its resources. While others toil away in mines and quarries, Ezra works an office job, helping his boss, The Senator, rule over the swath of territory given to her by the Merg. Sergeant Hayes is a brutal enforcer of the Merg’s rules. As an officer in the Health and Safety Department, he follows Merg orders, arresting, interrogating, and executing at their command.
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Very different from other Kane novels.
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Orlando People
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Gretch Wolgast is a bit of a dud. Just ask her. She’s a 21-year-old college dropout who has a loser job at the mall. Sure, she can lift a tennis ball with her telekinetic powers. But only three feet in the air. And she has to be sitting. Gretch is an OP, one of thousands born in Orlando, Florida, in the early 1980s who mysteriously developed the ability to move things with their minds. Unfortunately, she turned out to be the weakest of the bunch. Now, Gretch’s life is being turned upside down. She witnesses a murder and discovers a wide-ranging conspiracy.
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Super(natural) fun!
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Dragon Heist
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Birdie Binkowitz is just a little bitter. As a young actress, she was the toast of Hollywood, definitely destined for greatness. Then the dragons had to rise up from their thousand-year slumber, take over Earth and ruin everything. Twenty years later, Birdie is living her worst life in her hometown of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, working at her father's Seed and Feed (and Bagels). Then, a mysterious dragon appears in front of the store seeking her help. He’s got a bone to pick with his fellow dragons–and he wants to hit them where it hurts.
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Just finished my second listen
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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I wish I could chain Drew to a desk and make him write for me 24/7... j/k... kind of...
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Modified: Volumes 1-5 Box Set
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Modified is a funny, sexy, geeky romp about the trouble of acquiring an unexpected and inherently evil superpower. Full of offbeat characters, profanity, and just enough deliciously wicked thoughts, you'll love this fun series. With the bundle edition, you get all five volumes in one!
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Hilarious!
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Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
- By: Alexander C. Kane
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Overall
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Performance
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Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren. Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
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A Normal Life in an Abnormal World
- By Arthur D. Rich on 08-26-17
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Scum of the Earth
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Overall
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Ezra Barker is a traitor. When the Merg invaded Earth, he didn’t fight or even hide. He cooperated, helping them as they seized control of the planet and began their pillaging of its resources. While others toil away in mines and quarries, Ezra works an office job, helping his boss, The Senator, rule over the swath of territory given to her by the Merg. Sergeant Hayes is a brutal enforcer of the Merg’s rules. As an officer in the Health and Safety Department, he follows Merg orders, arresting, interrogating, and executing at their command.
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Very different from other Kane novels.
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Orlando People
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Gretch Wolgast is a bit of a dud. Just ask her. She’s a 21-year-old college dropout who has a loser job at the mall. Sure, she can lift a tennis ball with her telekinetic powers. But only three feet in the air. And she has to be sitting. Gretch is an OP, one of thousands born in Orlando, Florida, in the early 1980s who mysteriously developed the ability to move things with their minds. Unfortunately, she turned out to be the weakest of the bunch. Now, Gretch’s life is being turned upside down. She witnesses a murder and discovers a wide-ranging conspiracy.
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Super(natural) fun!
- By Jules H on 12-12-19
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Dragon Heist
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- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
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Overall
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Birdie Binkowitz is just a little bitter. As a young actress, she was the toast of Hollywood, definitely destined for greatness. Then the dragons had to rise up from their thousand-year slumber, take over Earth and ruin everything. Twenty years later, Birdie is living her worst life in her hometown of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, working at her father's Seed and Feed (and Bagels). Then, a mysterious dragon appears in front of the store seeking her help. He’s got a bone to pick with his fellow dragons–and he wants to hit them where it hurts.
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Just finished my second listen
- By Kalena on 05-05-23
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
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- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
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Overall
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Performance
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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I wish I could chain Drew to a desk and make him write for me 24/7... j/k... kind of...
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Modified: Volumes 1-5 Box Set
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Modified is a funny, sexy, geeky romp about the trouble of acquiring an unexpected and inherently evil superpower. Full of offbeat characters, profanity, and just enough deliciously wicked thoughts, you'll love this fun series. With the bundle edition, you get all five volumes in one!
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Hilarious!
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Differently Morphous
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A magical serial killer is on the loose, and gelatinous, otherworldly creatures are infesting the English countryside. Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret. After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.
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Not for everybody
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Forging Hephaestus
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Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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A Nice Surprise with some Really Fun Characters
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#1 in Customer Service
- The Complete Adventures of Tom Stranger
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Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.
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First half good
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When marine private Oliver Chadwick Gardenier is killed in the marine barrack bombing in Beirut, somebody who might be Saint Peter gives him a choice: Go to heaven, which, while nice, might be a little boring, or return to earth. The Boss has a mission for him, and he's to look for a sign. He's a marine: He'll choose the mission. Unfortunately, the sign he's to look for is "57". Which, given the food services contract in Bethesda Hospital, creates some difficulty. Eventually it appears that God's will is for Chad to join a group called Monster Hunters International.
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My first in the monster hunter series
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By: John Ringo, and others
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In October of 2013, Drew Hayes began posting a story to his website. Written over the thirteen days leading up to Halloween, when each chapter ended the next step was chosen by the readers. Sometimes this led to great discoveries and triumphs, other paths led to Dead Ends, though even in those there was much to be gleaned. For ten years, this tradition occurred, until in the year of 2022, the readers chose a finale. This is their story: a tale of deaths and decisions that spanned a decade.
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Did not disappoint
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The Prince Has No Pants
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All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
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Ignore any reviews below 3 stars... and probably the 5 star ones too.
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Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
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In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.
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This whole city is a butt that farts horror.
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Will Save the Galaxy for Food
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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Great
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Roverpowered
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Wanda and Wumble are a small pair with vast ambitions. One an aspiring alchemist, and the other her faithful hound, the pair bond as wizard and familiar to begin their pursuit of magic. As a newly made wizard without any training, resources, or even a home to return to, Wanda will have to forge her own way on a path where constant dangers lurk. Even the simple act of furthering her alchemy education swiftly becomes a harrowing ordeal.
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It’s a good novella, but not a novel
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Junkyard Cats
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After the Final War, after the appearance of the Bug aliens and their enforced peace, Shining Smith is still alive, still doing business from the old scrapyard bequeathed to her by her father. But Shining is now something more than human. And the scrapyard is no longer just a scrapyard, but a place full of secrets. This life she has built, while empty, is predictable and safe. Until the only friend left from her previous life shows up, dead, in the back of a scrapped Tesla warplane. Clutched in her cold fingers is a note to Shining - warning her of a coming attack.
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Would be a great story, if most of it wasn't missi
- By Amazon Customer on 01-11-20
By: Faith Hunter
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That's Not Right
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Amber is a young videographer who has landed her dream job. She is to produce a web series based on a late-night talk radio show dealing with the unexplained. She is a huge fan of the show, and its host, Jack Owens, who she hopes to help reveal the world’s most cryptic secrets. The first secret she reveals is Jack’s. He doesn’t believe any of this crap. To him, the show is just a cushy job that allows him to support himself and his wife without having to try very hard.
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Entertaining
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Grilled Armageddon
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Eli "Nacho" Naches is a fearsome assassin who has lost everything in a post-apocalyptic world full of monstrous creatures. He knows where he fits in this horror show, and he’s only been hanging around to see what’s going to be thrown at him next. When he’s finally put in chains and sent to the chopping block, he goes readily...only to be unexpectedly sent back in time to his younger body with his memories intact and the chance to make a difference.
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Good but Not My Favorite Dakota Krout Book
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What listeners say about Andrea Vernon and The Big Axe Acquisition
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- DaisyBell
- 07-18-21
Another magical book
Fun and romcoms and lovely ending of this story arc. I’ve loved every single one in this series and hope there will be more!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kandi Valentine
- 09-21-21
Bahni Turpin takes this to a whole new level!
While the story is in itself, entertaining, Bahni Turpin's performance takes this to a whole new level. She brings such life to the characters.. you can't help but feel you know each one of them personally.
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- Nemo71
- 08-12-21
The Shaolin Soccer of the superhero genre
These books have been fun. Alexander Kane's writing is droll and absurdist, yet grounded, and Bahni Turpin has good crazy fun with it, It's not only an amazing comic performance but also subtle and well observed. They're so attuned to each other that you forget that there was both a writer and a narrator.
You can only take this sort of schtick so far, though, and Kane wisely structured this as a trilogy and brought it to a definite end. If you stop before it's too late, you'll never come to any harm, as the Taoist saying goes. Well done.
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- La Madre de Isa
- 01-26-22
Another Amazing Story!!!!
Ok, it's official! This series combined with Bahni's reading is my all time favorite!!!!!! I NEED another book stat! The writing is entertaining and exciting and Bahni's different voices are really good. I can really visualize what is happening as I listen. This series would make a great movie series!!! Thank you, Mr. Kane and Ms. Turpin, thank you!!!!👏👏👏
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- Victoria
- 09-03-22
FABULOUS!
Love this narrator and hoping for more books in the series. Many, MANY more. "Glaaaaaare!!!"
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- Roni Garrison-Joyner
- 12-01-22
Banhi Turpin never disappoints!
I enjoyed all the books in this series due in no small part to the narrator’s dynamic and exciting performance. I’ve been running around my house saying “I am at my brightest when night is at its nightest!” “GLARE!!” I literally forget that it’s just one person doing all those voices.
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- C. Porter
- 03-20-23
the third does not disappoint...
I am hoping for a 4th installment, hopefully with the characters identified in the epilogue.
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- Shannon Mueller
- 10-13-23
Sets the bar
This series sets the bar for audio books. Great story that pulls all of the threads together in the end. Amazing narration. Bahni Turpin is my absolute favorite audio book narrator. She brings the story to life.
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- another know it all
- 09-24-23
I like this series
But, it gets a bit repetitive and I’m not sure I am going to continue. But I think I felt that way after the last and I did enjoy this one.
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- Michele C.
- 04-23-24
Entertaining, Fun, Whimsical
I enjoyed this while series of wacky super heroes and villains. Their names made me smile every time I heard them. Thoroughly enjoyed the humor. Highly recommended for a break from reality.
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