Is It Love or Is It Addiction?
The Book That Changed the Way We Think About Romance and Intimacy
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Narrated by:
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Jo Anna Perrin
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By:
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Brenda Schaeffer
About this listen
A fresh, updated, and expanded edition of the book that changed the way we think about romance and intimacy.
Many of us confuse longing and obsession with true love. Through two previous editions, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As the author reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love.
In this expanded third edition, Brenda Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to break free of it. Stories of real people struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help listeners to free themselves to find real intimacy. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction.
©1987, 1997, 2009 Brenda Schaeffer (P)2021 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling.
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Religious Slant Takes Away from Seriousness
- By Mr. Xtabay on 07-16-20
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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Prodependence
- Moving Beyond Codependency
- By: Robert Weiss
- Narrated by: Corey Gagne
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In Prodependence, Weiss presents a research-based social and psychological understanding of human interdependence, accepting and even celebrating human interdependency in ways that are healthy and life-affirming for each person.
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Great content but horrible voice
- By Amazon Customer on 03-23-21
By: Robert Weiss
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
- Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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Hilarious and True...the humor helps us to earnestly reflect inward. Very powerful. Thank you!
- By Tabitha Thornhill on 10-25-24
By: Allen Berger PhD
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Love Between Equals
- Relationship as a Spiritual Path
- By: Polly Young-Eisendrath
- Narrated by: Holly Palance
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Utilizing the wisdom of her years of personal and professional practice, Young-Eisendrath dismantles our idealized projections about love, while revealing how mindfulness and communication can help us identify and honor the differences with our partners and strengthen our bonds. These practical and time-tested guidelines are rooted in sound understanding of modern psychology and offer concrete ideas and the necessary tools to reinforce and reinvigorate our deepest relationships.
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Insightful
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-23
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A Radical Awakening
- Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free
- By: Shefali Tsabary
- Narrated by: Shefali Tsabary
- Length: 15 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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A Radical Awakening lays out a path for women to heal their psychic wounds and prepares them to discover their own powers to help heal others and the planet. Dr. Shefali helps women uncover the purpose that already exists within them and harness the power of authenticity in every area of their lives. The result is an eloquent and inspiring, practical and accessible book, backed with real-life examples and personal stories, that unlocks the extraordinary power necessary to awaken the conscious self.
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Idealistic views without tools
- By Just a Dad on 06-11-21
By: Shefali Tsabary
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The Power of Negative Thinking
- And How It Can Be a Powerful Route to Joy, Success and Satisfaction
- By: Oliver Burkeman
- Narrated by: Oliver Burkeman
- Length: 1 hr and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Oliver Burkeman explores why people are often more successful - as are organisations, armies and governments - when they focus on reasons they are likely to fail; asks where happiness comes from, and whether we look for it in the wrong places; explores a phenomenon that has come to be called 'fungineering' – attempts to boost happiness in the workplace; and confronts what many of us see as the most negative of all experiences: death.
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Perfect Follow-up to "Addicted to Busy"
- By Andrew Lenards on 07-23-19
By: Oliver Burkeman
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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Power
- Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation - psychological violence on steroids.
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A “Powerful” book
- By Avid reader on 10-16-17
By: Shahida Arabi
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Taming Your Outer Child
- Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment
- By: Susan Anderson
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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rundown of surveys and stats
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Through 12-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for love addicts. Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.
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The only book you will ever need on love addiction!
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Crazy for You
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Psychologist and best-selling memoirist Kerry Cohen is all too familiar with the questions she often hears from her clients — and has asked herself. Even though sex and love are some of the most universal, sought-after experiences we have, many of us lack the tools and understanding to approach them in a healthy way. Without knowing it, many people struggling with sex and love actually fall somewhere on the spectrum of sex and love addiction (SLA).
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Extremely Helpful
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Twelve Step Affirmations for Recovery from Love Addiction
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Very comforting and calming
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Fantastic Book for Love Addicts
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First released more than 40 years ago, Love and Limerence has become a classic in the psychology of emotion. As relevent today as it was then, this book offers insight into love, infatuation, madness, and all flavors of emotion in between.
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The only book you will ever need on love addiction!
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Extremely Helpful
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Very comforting and calming
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If your life has been affected by addiction (yours or someone else's), abuse, trauma or toxic shaming, you may also be struggling with another invisible problem - codependency. Without your even being aware of the connection to the above issues, it has created additional life-long challenges such as endless guilt, anxiety, perfectionism, need to control, depression, a history of dysfunctional relationships and much more. This easy-to-understand, interactive book will reveal how codependency has sobotaged you, the lies it created in your beliefs and the truths that expose them.
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Don’t buy if you aren’t religious
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30% is in workbook format, not ideal for reading
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Life Changing!
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A guy who rejects or breaks up with you should no longer exist in your life. Contacting him or allowing him to stay in touch with you will make you work harder and harder to convince him that you’re worth his love and attention, and it will compel you to play that ugly and unwinnable game called Chase-a-Man. The best way to avoid this ugly game and break his spell over you is to cut the guy off (cease all communications and interactions) for a set period of time, or in some cases, keep him cut off out of your life indefinitely.
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My review
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The New Codependency
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Please offer with different narrator
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Whole Again
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Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new audiobook, he guides listeners on what to do next - how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. MacKenzie shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we've developed so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life.
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Good content, but to much repeat
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By: Jackson MacKenzie, and others
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
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This Is Me Letting You Go
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Letting go is not a process that comes naturally to us. In a world that teaches us to cling to what we love at all costs, there is an undeniable art to moving on - and it's one that we are constantly relearning. In this series of honest and poignant essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people and situations we love most - often before we are ready to - and how to embrace what comes next.
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Not for me
- By VMar on 06-16-19
By: Heidi Priebe
What listeners say about Is It Love or Is It Addiction?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Viveka Ycaza
- 12-27-23
How clear concepts were
Worth reading again and taking notes. Concepts are clear, concised, logical and with relatable examples
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- Anonymous User
- 12-25-22
I enjoyed the interventions very solid reasoning
I really enjoyed the book The narrator was very pleasant to listen to the book made sense it was reasonable. very professional the interventions were something that could be replicated in practice.
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Overall
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-04-23
Is it Love or Is it Addiction?
The author captures the difference between love and an addiction in a simplistic and clear manner that is thought provoking.
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- Jones
- 10-24-23
Pass
This was not very useful and the narration is terrible. There are better resources out there to explore this idea.
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