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How to Be the Love You Seek
- Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
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Publisher's summary
INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
"A practical, reader-friendly, and inspiring primer on how to extend true connection and love to others.” —Gabor Maté M.D., New York Times bestselling author of The Myth of Normal
From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to healing your relationships, beginning with the one you have with yourself.
Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, whether familial, romantic, or platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our hearts are primed for compassionate connection, our nervous systems—which store all our past hurts and disappointments—are wired for threat and negativity.
For decades, leading relationship advice has maintained that successful relationships require a specific compromise—that we must change our authentic expression to better meet the needs of others, and vice versa. It may sound reasonable in theory, but as Dr. LePera explains, this approach is nothing less than a recipe for a lifetime of resentment.
In How to Be the Love You Seek, #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. LePera—whose integrative, holistic approach to psychology has attracted an international audience of millions—offers a new path to healing our relationships. Harnessing the latest scientific research, she teaches us to recognize how unmet needs from our earliest relationships create our current, dysfunctional relationship patterns, and leave us in a state of constant internal threat, even with those closest to us.
This book, the last in her “How To” trilogy, illuminates the way out of trauma bonds and into relationships rooted in mutual respect and compassion. In it, you will learn how to create safety in your own body and mind; identify your unmet needs; develop emotional resilience; cultivate heart coherence to build deep emotional connections with others; and maintain healthy interdependence in our communities.
Whether you struggle to maintain the kinds of relationships you want, or are facing a specific challenge with a spouse, partner, parent, sibling, child, friend, or colleague—Dr. LePera teaches us how to break painful cycles and reconnect with the wisdom, appreciation, and compassion that lives in each of our hearts. It is our heart’s innate capacity to love that is the true source of all healing. When we tap into that power, we can become the love we seek.
Complete with stories, exercises, journal prompts, and other practical tools, How to Be the Love You Seek offers a healing roadmap for all generations of cycle-breakers.
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If you ask a Finn, they will likely be as baffled as you are. That’s why Melanie Dower, an expat who has been living in Finland for the past decade, has taken up the charge. Her vantage as an outsider entrenched in Finnish culture uniquely positions her to identify the keys to Finnish happiness that elude the rest of the world and that Finns take for granted. From sauna to strong social safety nets, Finnish life is made up of a constellation of habits and structures that leave its residents relaxed, healthy, and fulfilled.
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Memorable listen!
- By Kindle Customer on 09-24-24
By: Melanie Dower
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How to Stop People-Pleasing
- By: The Great Courses, Wind Goodfriend
- Narrated by: Wind Goodfriend
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Original Recording
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We all want to be liked and appreciated by the people around us, but some of us may let this desire dictate our choices and behaviors in a way that can become unhealthy. In How to Stop People-Pleasing, psychology professor Dr. Wind Goodfriend examines what drives many of us to sacrifice our well-being to please others and offers guidance on how you can set healthy boundaries and start prioritizing yourself.
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concise and eye-opening discussion of psychological theory and real world application
- By Justin Abel Nordstrom on 09-20-24
By: The Great Courses, and others
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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Worthy
- How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
- By: Jamie Kern Lima
- Narrated by: Jamie Kern Lima
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
- By Diana Yin on 02-22-24
By: Jamie Kern Lima
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Not Nice
- Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 18 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you too nice? If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.
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Changed my life forever
- By Shannon Slater on 12-07-18
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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Too much sex, excellent narration
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Absolutely brilliant!
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Too much sex, excellent narration
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Nina and Simon are the perfect couple. Young, fun and deeply in love. Until they leave for a weekend at his family’s cabin in Vermont, and only Simon comes home.
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Careful someone put spoilers in reviews!
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So slow
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Where is the accompanying pdf mentioned?
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Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.
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Audio quality is lacking:(
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Attached
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We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
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Finding love can be hard. Being single can feel even harder. In Love Life, world-renowned coach and New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey provides a practical roadmap for letting go of past relationships, overcoming the fear of getting left behind, and finding the love we want.
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The chapter on hard conversations was useful
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Workbook: How to Do the Work
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This is an independent created unofficial workbook of Dr. Nicole LePera's book How to Do the Work and not the original book. Cosmic Publications is proud to offer all of our listeners our unofficial workbook of Dr. Nicole LePera's book How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self. This workbook explores the importance of using holistic psychology to change your life and heal from your trauma.
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If You’re Willing to Face and Heal YOU - This is the Workbook for YOU!!!!
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It's Not You
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It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
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I needed this
- By Austin E. Jonas Jr. on 03-02-24
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Healing Your Attachment Wounds
- How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
- By: Diane Poole Heller
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From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint. With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.
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u mean i’m not doomed to self inflicted suffocating loneliness?
- By SidVid on 01-20-20
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Flowers and Honey
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- By: Julie Tenner
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Performance
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Come learn from a woman who has found a pathway to unrelenting desire, outrageous intimacy, and the deepest, most profound love in a 20-year-long relationship to one man, with four kids and two businesses in tow. Julie will revolutionize the way you relate to yourself and the ones you love, bringing deeper connections and richer intimacy. Enough mediocrity. Enough waiting. You are more powerful than that.
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Love it - very helpful
- By Lindsay Nichole Kline on 10-13-23
By: Julie Tenner
What listeners say about How to Be the Love You Seek
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Adrianne P
- 06-26-24
Are already are the love you seek
Dr. Nicole has once again produced an exceptional book that has the potential to profoundly impact individuals seeking self-improvement and enhanced interpersonal relationships. The book offers valuable insights and practical guidance on cultivating self-love and establishing healthy boundaries. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in personal growth and fostering meaningful connections with others.
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1 person found this helpful
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- LaDonna F Lewis
- 01-07-24
We are the love we seek. Change yourself to attract what you desire.
This book is filled with scientific epiphanies. Excellent tools, references to other works and personal stories that make ….REAL. Thank you!
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- J
- 01-22-24
This was so helpful!
I loved how the stories were so relatable. It helped me to unpack how most of my behavior is linked to a disregulated nervous system.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Bill
- 02-08-24
Knowledgeale and Thought-Provoking
I loooved this audiobook! It's literally life changing! I'm going to share it with as people who will listen.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Christapher Clark
- 03-01-24
self awareness and growth
I "read" this book recently, and I think that it can be helpful to others. It talks about relationship troubles and really dives into exploring why and what you can do to improve your relationships. I believe that to really change somone else, which you can't, it's impossible, but to see change in your relationships whether romantic, platonic or family, is to change yourself.
Therein is your true control and power, is to change yourself, to gain insight on yourself and how to self improve. This book helps explore yourself and teaches about different people and why they might be acting or reacting the way that they do. Real life examples are used, both before and after the individuals become more self aware.
Dr. Nicole Lepera thru this book teaches and coaches (thru provided exercises) to help you find your authentic self and to become more self aware.
P.s. this book has a lot of therapeutic tendencies and wording, if you are familiar with therapy you'll recognize it, if not it might be a bit much.
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- Isaiah
- 01-25-24
Great eye opener book for your healing journey
Everything about this book is what people need when it comes to your healing journey. I was reading this book with my partner and both of us agreed that this book opened our eyes. This book helps you see things you do not fully understand and know what are the areas you need to work on. Super grateful to have read this resourceful book!
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- Anonymous User
- 08-21-24
Love is the creation of who we are.
Truly one of my favorites. Well written, beautifully said.
We are the creation of love and all the love we seek is within us.
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- Alexia Guzmán
- 08-19-24
Peace and love
Change is constant and finding ways to make and improve yourself with connections through everyday interactions and experiences can help you achieve in finding yourself. Wisdom is a powerful source that helps too
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- gdarb234
- 09-18-24
Outstanding
What a great book! As I awaken to some habits and patterns I operate in without awareness it’s been such a great guide to helping me see how these behaviors affect me regularly. The book offers tools and guidance to how to navigate relationships.
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Story
- RANDALL S WALKER
- 02-20-24
crucial concepts for self-understanding
The title makes sense when we realize that our primary relationship is with ourselves. Fix that relationship and you’ll respond better in your outer relationships. Chapter 3 is the best explanation of polyvagal theory i have found. The author has written a great companion book to Pete Walker’s childhood trauma self-therapy. These two authors will open your eyes to the source of your involuntary emotional reactions that may be preventing emotional calmness and ruining your interpersonal relationships. i slowed the narrative speed to 75% and i’ll listen to chapter 3 again so i recognize mental states when i have them and see them. This is a very understandable useful book for sufferers of childhood trauma seeking self-healing. This book and Pete Walker can map your journey.
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3 people found this helpful