
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
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Narrated by:
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Carol Tavris
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Elliot Aronson
About this listen
Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?
Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong.
Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.
©2020 Carol Tavris (P)2020 Houghton Mifflin HarcourtListeners also enjoyed...
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What Gorillas Are We Missing?
- By Joshua Kim on 06-10-12
By: Christopher Chabris, and others
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The Lucifer Effect
- Understanding How Good People Turn Evil
- By: Philip Zimbardo
- Narrated by: Kevin Foley
- Length: 26 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes good people do bad things? How can moral people be seduced to act immorally? Where is the line separating good from evil, and who is in danger of crossing it? Social psychologist Philip Zimbardo has the answers. He explains how - and the myriad reasons why - we are all susceptible to the lure of "the dark side". Drawing on examples from history as well as his own trailblazing research, Zimbardo details how situational forces and group dynamics can make monsters out of decent men and women.
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Zimbardo Comes Clean...
- By Douglas on 11-21-11
By: Philip Zimbardo
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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You Are Not So Smart
- Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You're Deluding Yourself
- By: David McRaney
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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An entertaining illumination of the stupid beliefs that make us feel wise. You believe you are a rational, logical being who sees the world as it really is, but journalist David McRaney is here to tell you that you're as deluded as the rest of us. But that's OK - delusions keep us sane. You Are Not So Smart is a celebration of self-delusion. It's like a psychology class, with all the boring parts taken out, and with no homework. Based on the popular blog of the same name, You Are Not So Smart collects more than 46 of the lies we tell ourselves everyday.
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Covers a lot of old territory
- By Sarah Dumoulin on 07-19-12
By: David McRaney
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Mistakes We Never Made
- By: Hannah Brown
- Narrated by: Juliette Goglia
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma Townsend can sum up her situationship with hot-as-hell romantic red flag Finn Hughes in one word: almost. They almost dated in high school. They almost hooked up after college. They almost took things too far one magical night. Their whole story is one series of “almosts” and “nearlys,” and now they just kind of can’t stand each other. Like, at all. But this weekend, one of their mutuals is getting married...and Emma and Finn will have to pretend they don’t remember how disastrous it was the last time they were in a room together.
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Easy listen but not engaging
- By Amazon Customer on 09-05-24
By: Hannah Brown
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The Power of When
- Discover Your Chronotype - and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More
- By: Michael Breus, Mehmet C. Oz - foreword
- Narrated by: Michael Breus
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Learn the best time to do everything - from drink your coffee to have sex, or go for a run - according to your body's chronotype. Most advice centers on what to do, or how to do it, and ignores the when of success. But exciting new research proves there is a right time to do just about everything, based on our biology and hormones. As Dr. Michael Breus proves in The Power of When, working with your body's inner clock for maximum health, happiness, and productivity is easy, exciting, and fun.
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Very Interesting, Poorly Organized
- By Chris on 02-13-17
By: Michael Breus, and others
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The Psychopath Test
- A Journey Through the Madness Industry
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The Psychopath Test is a fascinating journey through the minds of madness. Jon Ronson's exploration of a potential hoax being played on the world's top neurologists takes him, unexpectedly, into the heart of the madness industry. An influential psychologist who is convinced that many important CEOs and politicians are, in fact, psychopaths teaches Ronson how to spot these high-flying individuals by looking out for little telltale verbal and nonverbal clues. And so Ronson, armed with his new psychopath-spotting abilities, enters the corridors of power.
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Painfully out of dated
- By Heather Wagner on 06-24-23
By: Jon Ronson
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Predictably Irrational
- The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions
- By: Dan Ariely
- Narrated by: Simon Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In a series of illuminating, often surprising experiments, MIT behavioral economist Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we behave in fundamentally rational ways. Blending everyday experience with groundbreaking research, Ariely explains how expectations, emotions, social norms, and other invisible, seemingly illogical forces skew our reasoning abilities.
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Good lessons, mediocre science?
- By William Stanger on 02-24-09
By: Dan Ariely
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The True Believer
- Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements
- By: Eric Hoffer
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A stevedore on the San Francisco docks in the 1940s, Eric Hoffer wrote philosophical treatises in his spare time while living in the railroad yards. The True Believer—the first and most famous of his books—was made into a bestseller when President Eisenhower cited it during one of the earliest television press conferences.
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Enlightening and scary
- By Tyler Zudans on 06-27-24
By: Eric Hoffer
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The Better Angels of Our Nature
- Why Violence Has Declined
- By: Steven Pinker
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 36 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Faced with the ceaseless stream of news about war, crime, and terrorism, one could easily think we live in the most violent age ever seen. Yet as New York Times bestselling author Steven Pinker shows in this startling and engaging new work, just the opposite is true: violence has been diminishing for millennia and we may be living in the most peaceful time in our species's existence.
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I'd kill for another book this good
- By Eric on 11-11-11
By: Steven Pinker
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Dangerous Personalities
- An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful People
- By: Joe Navarro, Toni Sciarra Poynter
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In Dangerous Personalities, former FBI profiler Joe Navarro shows listeners how to identify the four most common "dangerous personalities", and analyze how much of a threat each one can be: the Narcissist, the Predator, the Paranoid, and the Unstable Personality. Along the way, listeners learn how to protect themselves both immediately and long-term - as well as how to recover from the trauma of being close to such a destructive force.
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A Bad Conscience
- By Mel on 10-29-14
By: Joe Navarro, and others
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The Art of Thinking Clearly
- By: Rolf Dobelli
- Narrated by: Eric Conger
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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A novelist, thinker, and entrepreneur, Rolf Dobelli deftly shows that in order to lead happier, more prosperous lives, we don't need extra cunning, new ideas, shiny gadgets, or more frantic hyperactivity - all we need is less irrationality. Simple, clear, and always surprising, this indispensable audiobook will change the way you think and transform your decision making - at work, at home, every day.
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Major Downer
- By Daniel Ales on 01-22-20
By: Rolf Dobelli
What listeners say about Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
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- Erin
- 04-16-24
How we can lose sight of our goals and core values
It is amazing how wrapped up we get in ourselves and what’s going on around us. we can easily of what our true core values are if we are not watching this was very eye-opening to me
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- love to shop
- 02-12-21
Mistakes Were Made (but not by the authors?)
Good presentation of long-standing value of CD theory gives us all something to ponder deeply when we want to stand up for our actions/beliefs/motives. Empowers us to step outside our own thinking and feeling to find resolve and quiet the crazy cycle that promotes conflict in human relationships.
However, I kept wanting to ask “why do the authors exclude themselves from falling into the same trap they claim we’re all in?” Their assumptions are often (and I mean OFTEN) presented as fact and gross oversimplifications are staggering when discussing sociological dynamics of politics. You might want to skip those parts. Taints the value of the psychological perspectives of a lifetime of work.
New chapter is laughable as of date in my opinion. They could have just said “Donald Trump struggles with NPD and we as a democracy have scrambled to manage his disorder in our opinion. At least he didn’t start a war (uh... We mean a “conflict” like another narcissist LBJ).” That could’ve explained it painlessly compared to attempting to give us pages of bloody details and then trivializing all motives of his support base and cabinet. Just unnecessary and certainly incomplete I think. But maybe I’m self-justifying my decision to NOT vote for Trump!?!
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- Amazongirl 20
- 02-07-21
Falls victim to it's own message.
I'm not even a Trump supporter and this book definitely fell victim to it's own message at the end. And for some reason just saying that seems to keep my review from being published...
Beyond that, it's a great book. I would have given it four stars if not for the complete collapse at the end.
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2 people found this helpful
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- G-Reg
- 02-16-21
Great Insight for being a Human
The authors are the researchers, which is nice because despite their best efforts bookwriters can’t know the material as intimately as the scientists. Researchers aren’t always the best communicators, but luckily Tavris and Aronson are. Human motivation and our unconscious self-rationalization is completely natural AND completely ruinous individually and as societies. The book takes you through personal, legal, political and societal pitfalls that are all too common and also MUST be acknowledged in order to make better decisions in our relationships and collectively. The 2020 revision is highly recommended. Please read and share.
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- M.F.
- 06-17-24
De-mystification and de-villainizing of Cognitive Dissonance
Loved the interwoven psychology and geopolitics throughout. Wish there was a part 2 to help iterate the cognitive dissonance worldwide regarding the genocide occurring in Palestine, Congo, Sudan, and Haiti & the Demi-gods of the Democrats and Blue MAGA. It’s such a helpful book to read during this time with upcoming elections and looming world wars.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-18-21
interesting to the last page
loved this book. after reading there is no doubt you'll have to reevaluate your excuses, and why you gave them. I strongly suggest reading this book, for your sake, your friends, and for your family.
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- Chris D.
- 01-11-21
important book
Deals with difficult things to explain, and does a very clear job of explaining them.
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- Alan
- 02-15-24
Woke before woke was Vogue!
Very biased in several areas. Gave a 3 star solely on relationships chapter otherwise not worth time or money.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-12-24
Enlightening
The book unveils facets of human behavior that are present in all of us. Feel wiser now.
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- Jason Baumbach
- 05-22-20
Listen and learn how to change your mind.
With a 2019 added final chapter about President Trump -- best listened to after absorbing the lessons of the previous chapters.
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2 people found this helpful