Polywise
A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Jessica Fern
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David Cooley
About this listen
As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting and persistent jealousy. Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley share the insights they have gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, they explore the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy. Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
"A must-read for anyone navigating open relationships."—Esther Perel, psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity.
"I find Jessica's work not only highly useful but absolutely essential to building healthy, secure open relationships. What a gift this intelligent, inspired piece of literature is to the broader non-monogamous community, as well as those about to embark on this brave frontier of multiple loves! I whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone interested in self-acceptance and self-mastery, as well as their own emotional well-being as they build loving, sustainable, healthy multiple relationships."—Kitty Chambliss, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP, relationship coach and author of Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship
"I often say there's being polyamorous and then there's being polyamorous well. I believe Polywise can equip you to do just that."—Evita Sawyers, author of A Polyamory Devotional.
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Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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If the Buddha Married
- Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path
- By: Charlotte Kasl
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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If the Buddha Married is filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that so clearly touched a chord with fans of If the Buddha Dated. Charlotte Kasl is renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart. In If the Buddha Married, Kasl inspires us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness and truth.
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It's not about "PERFORMANCE".
- By chuck on 03-19-12
By: Charlotte Kasl
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The Energies of Love
- Using Energy Medicine to Keep Your Relationship Thriving
- By: Donna Eden, David Feinstein
- Narrated by: Melissa Hurst
- Length: 16 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, Donna Eden and David Feinstein (authors of Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine for Women) draw on the real-life experiences of couples who have attended their popular "Energies of Love" workshops, as well as their own relationship as husband and wife, to show how an understanding of your energy system and that of your partner can help you build a more harmonious and loving bond.
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If Only
- By Brenda on 07-14-15
By: Donna Eden, and others
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Emotional Chaos to Clarity
- How to Live More Skillfully, Make Better Decisions, and Find Purpose in Life
- By: Phillip Moffitt
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Despite our best-laid plans, life can often be difficult, disappointing, and stressful. Consequently, when things don’t go right, we are often left in a state of emotional chaos, dealing with feelings like anger, anxiety, frustration, and doubt, which can cloud our perspective and negatively affect the way we live our lives. But in this inspiring book, Phillip Moffitt shows us that we need not be at the mercy of our emotions. By cultivating a responsive mind rather than a reactive one, we can achieve a state of emotional clarity.
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You Are Not Your Emotions
- By Sara on 10-23-14
By: Phillip Moffitt
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
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Insanely boring, poor audio quality & narration
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“Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. More Than Two can’t promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths―from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy―possible within nonmonogamy
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A wonderful primer for ENM
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The Ethical Slut
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For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle.
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The information and advice is 100% totally solid!
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Insanely boring, poor audio quality & narration
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The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy
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Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well. In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way.
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“Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. More Than Two can’t promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths―from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy―possible within nonmonogamy
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A must have resource
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An intelligent and comprehensive guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of alternative love, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory offers relationship advice radically different from anything you'll find on the magazine rack. This practical guidebook will help women break free of the mold of traditional monogamy, without the constraints of jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and competition. If you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to "come out" as polyamorous, this book covers it all.
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Terrible Narrator, Too Much History
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The Polyamory Breakup Book
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Polyamory is not always easy. With multiple partners often come more complex relationships to navigate. This practical guide looks at the common causes of polyamorous breakups, identifies strategies to avoid ending relationships, and provides you with the toolkit to survive a breakup. Kathy Labriola uses real-life examples and expert insight as a counselor and nurse.
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Great book with great examples
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This groundbreaking guide to consensual nonmonogamy offers a listening experience that feels like consulting with a trusted advisor. Martha Kauppi equips you with the skills to be a true ally to clients who want to explore polyamory. Learn from the expert who trains experts as she debunks myths and shares the exact tools she uses with her own clients.
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Incredibly Objective
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By: Martha Kauppi, and others
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Jealousy Survival Guide
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In Jealousy Survival Guide, Kitty Chambliss does the homework for you and collects the best tidbits on life and emotions to give you inspiration and provide tools to gain and practice new skills. Combining her own life experience with these pearls of wisdom, Kitty focuses on jealousy in consensually non-monogamous relationships - what it is, how it expresses, and specific ways to manage it.
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Becoming a Better You
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The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy
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Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear, and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well. In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritize your mental health and wellbeing along the way.
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Insatiable Wives
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Long before the term cuckold was a common word thrown around in the media, Dr. Ley explored the history and science of cuckolding. This groundbreaking work explores why and how some men not only allow, but encourage, their wives to pursue sexual relationships with other men.
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Communication about adventure vs security
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Open
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When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include monogamy. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Krantz decided to see whether their love could coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for each other once the honeymoon phase ended?
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I wrote this book
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Open Monogamy
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Open Monogamy is Dr. Nelson's guidebook for couples who wish to explore new directions in their relationships - to bring in excitement, variety, and fresh experiences without sacrificing trust, security, and respect. In this practical, skill-based book, she helps you find your place on the "monogamy continuum"; have honest conversations about attraction and desire; remove shame and suspicion from an open relationship; and create agreements - traditional or otherwise - that are fulfilling, exhilarating, and built for enduring love.
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People, listen: THIS is the book you need
- By KBgilly on 03-18-22
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The Hidden Girl and Other Stories
- By: Ken Liu
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From stories about time-traveling assassins, to Black Mirror-esque tales of cryptocurrency and internet trolling, to heartbreaking narratives of parent-child relationships, The Hidden Girl and Other Stories is a far-reaching work that explores topical themes from the present and a visionary look at humanity’s future. This collection includes a selection of Ken Liu’s speculative-fiction stories over the past five years - 17 of his best - plus a new novelette.
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Best portrayal of mind-uploading I've ever read
- By Dante K. on 06-14-20
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Cold Victory
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Helsinki, 1947. Finland teeters between the Soviet Union and the West. Everyone is being watched. A wrong look or a wrong word could end in catastrophe. Natalya Bobrova, from Russia, and Louise Koski, from the United States, are young wives of their country’s military attachés. When they meet at an embassy party, their husbands, Arnie and Mikhail, both world-class skiers, drunkenly challenge each other to a friendly—but secret—cross-country wilderness race.
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If all you care about is pacing, go ahead. If you care about characters, don’t waste your time.
- By kafkirk on 01-22-24
By: Karl Marlantes
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Open
- Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage
- By: Jenny Block
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally, a book about open marriage that grapples with the problems surrounding monogamy and fidelity in an honest, heartfelt, and non-fringe manner. Jenny Block is your average girl next door, a suburban wife and mother for whom married life never felt quite right. While many books on this topic presuppose that the listener is ready to embrace an "alternative lifestyle", Block operates from the assumption that most couples who are curious about or engaged in open marriages are in fact more like her - normal people who question whether monogamy is right for them.
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"Open" inspires a new look at marriage
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What listeners say about Polywise
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Michael Stevenson
- 05-01-24
Lots of growth
This text does an amazing job further developing and unpacking the complexities of CNM and does well to unpack pitfalls and the discomfort that comes along with it
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- D. Man
- 06-11-24
Required reading for gaining emotional intelligence
Thank u for expanding my understanding of the many paths and choices one has in relationships and confirming the bliss of why a loving faithful monogamous life works for me for all my 69 years., even though touched by divorce. Knowledge is power. Love is precious. Children are to be protected & loved & shown by example. I trust this will allow me to better understand others choices and hope more parents will rise to the occasion to be their best self & contribute to both the betterment of their families & friends & of their community on this most important part of our lives which includes but is not limited to growth, empathy, understanding, loving, truth, & honesty. Live long & love many in different way. Hope this along with the book Sex at Dawn is required reading at senior level of high school & college. Great work!❤️🌵🧘⭐️🏡💦🌳
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- Cameron Bauch
- 03-15-24
Great for whatever stage of Polyamory you're in
I have read Jessica's book, Polysecure, and absolutely adored it, so when I saw Polywise recommended I had to grab it. This book is chock-full of amazing information for those new to polyamory or even those who have been at it for a time. The section going over codependency was especially eye opening and is something I want to actively work on.
While I'm currently not practicing polyamory due to a really bad start at it, I'm confident should I try again in the future, armed with the knowledge from these books, I'll fair much better.
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- Lettie Gray
- 08-27-24
It helped
If you’re struggling read this book! It helped me in many ways I promise you’ll love it.
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- cmpusz
- 10-30-23
An engaging deeper dive
Another gift from Jessica Fern (with the awesome addition of David Cooley’s voice). Recommended for anyone who wants to dive deeper into the work of crafting more connected, loving and intentional relationships. Loved it!
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- eric Reinitz
- 11-21-24
Great Resource
Being new to polyamory, Jessica and David shed light on the very real process involved is being a truly enlightened, engaged and loving partner.
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- Nicole Kippel
- 01-20-24
A Gift to the CNM Community
In Polywise Jessica Fern and David Cooley integrate their skillful professional, as well as personal and vulnerable, insights for engaging the paradigm shift of Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM).
As a queer CNM person myself, I highly recommend this book to all CNM curious and experienced folks alike, because as Emily Sotelo Matlack of the Multiamory Podcast put it, “…this is polyamory 401.” As a therapist (ASW, and Internal Family Systems Level 1 therapist-in-training) I also highly recommend it to all therapists, whether or not you specialize in working with the CNM population, as it explores nuances that are necessary for affirmatively working with this population, rather than pathologizing and counseling them based on monogamous paradigms and cultural norms.
Thank you Jessica and David for this gift to not only the CNM community, but to efforts to consciously and ethically engage in relationships as we heal our parts, and awaken our authentic Selves.
Nix Kippel (She/They), MSW, ASW
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- LJNELSON87
- 05-04-24
information
i like the examples and exploration of definitions. it gave good consideration to individuals that have differences of opinions
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- Travis
- 05-03-24
A book about paradigm shifts
I thought I was going to get information about poly relationships and all that goes with that choice. Instead I got a book about making mental paradigm shifts and relationships. This book made my life better.
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- Kayleigh C
- 12-17-23
Awesome tools included
Absolutely loved the stories and the tools that were present in this book. Such a great read whether your poly or not
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