
I Want This to Work
An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
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Narrated by:
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Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
About this listen
“Elizabeth Earnshaw’s gentle guidance will help any type of couple, whether they are dealing with small day-to-day problems or long-standing conflicts. She takes an accessible approach to couples therapy on the page, making these relationship tools feel easy - and even fun.” (Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship guide for the modern age
Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships - and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a whopping 18 percent drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with their partners.
Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
“We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This audiobook answers that call.”
Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. They’ll learn fundamental principles including:
- Why it’s not working
- Creating space that makes it safe to connect
- How to navigate hot conversations
- The five-part relationship system
- Busting the romantic notion that our better half “completes” us
- Growing up and growing out - how both your early years and the social connections you make as an adult influence your relational beliefs, feelings, and patterns
In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles into real life.
Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and for both married and unmarried couples, this audiobook brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.
©2021 Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, CGT (P)2021 Sounds TrueListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“This book is an essential guide for couples who desire to build vital relationship skills, particularly during challenging moments. The tools for growth and learning are written in a warm and no-nonsense manner. I Want This to Work can be used as a stand-alone resource or in tandem with therapy. The book will help couples gain a unique understanding of how to talk about and work through hard things.” (Nedra Tawwab, LCSW, therapist and New York Times best-selling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace)
“Elizabeth is hands down one of the most professional clinicians I’ve had the privilege of working with. The work she does on relational health is incredibly impactful because it’s delivered in a way that’s both digestible and compassionate.” (Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times best-selling author of How to Do the Work and founder of @the.holistic.psychologist)
“I Want This to Work does a beautiful job of exploring the many issues the modern-day couple faces, while normalizing the reader’s experience by offering examples of couples working through similar challenges. A necessary read for anyone wanting to improve the quality of their relationships.” (Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, owner of Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy, founder of @mindfulmft, and relationship expert at Motherly)
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By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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If Only I'd Known!
- How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth
- By: Chelsey Brooke Cole
- Narrated by: Chelsey Brooke Cole
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information. And because these changes are happening to you, you begin to wonder: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make this relationship work? Am I fundamentally broken? And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works—it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you. This audiobook covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse.
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This book is amazing.
- By Juan Servin on 01-03-24
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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The Dance of Connection
- By: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Harriet Lerner
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
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In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say).
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Listen at 1.5x speed
- By Tanya on 12-08-15
By: Harriet Lerner
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Stop Overthinking Your Relationship
- Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner
- By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, Linda Carroll LMFT - foreword
- Narrated by: Victoria Villarreal
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Rumination—obsessive thinking about an idea, situation, or choice that can interfere with normal life—is a common and destructive issue that can negatively impact romantic relationships. You may feel anxious, worried, hopeless, and frustrated, but even if you know your overthinking is a problem, it can be seriously hard to stop. In Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, certified couples therapist Alicia Muñoz draws from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to offer an effective, four-step approach to reduce rumination and change negative thinking patterns.
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Shedding light to my partner’s and my owns rumination cycles
- By joanne cruz on 07-12-23
By: Alicia Muñoz LPC, and others
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You Will Find Your People
- By: Lane Moore
- Narrated by: Lane Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Like many people navigating adulthood, Lane Moore thought she would have friends by now. Movies, books, and TV shows tell us we should’ve already found our people by the time we’re adults, or there must be something wrong with us. But where do you find these close friends once you’ve left high school or college? Is it even possible? You Will Find Your People is the groundbreaking guide to making—and keeping—the friends we’ve all been desperately waiting for.
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Cringy
- By Rachel on 07-06-23
By: Lane Moore
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Loving Him Well
- Practical Advice on Influencing Your Husband
- By: Gary Thomas, Lisa Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Gary Thomas
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Women: you're not alone in your marriage. You never have been, and you never will be. While it may not always feel like it, God desires for you to have a relationally healthy, emotionally engaged, and spiritually mature husband with whom you can share your days. In Loving Him Well, Gary Thomas builds on concepts from his best-selling book Sacred Marriage to reveal the inner workings of a man's heart and mind. He delves into Scriptures that help women gain biblical insight to influence their husbands.
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A must read for any wife!
- By James on 04-03-18
By: Gary Thomas, and others
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I Wish I Knew This Before My Divorce
- Ending the Battle Between Holding On and Letting Go
- By: Elaine O. Foster, Joseph W. Foster
- Narrated by: Steve Carlson
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine being left by the person you love and bouncing back stronger than ever. Written by best-selling authors Dr. Elaine and Joe Foster, I Wish I Knew This Before My Divorce uses the latest advances in cognitive behavioral treatment to break the struggle between holding on and letting go. In this East-meets-West approach to finding serenity, the authors dissect the causes of your breakup, the myths that block your path to happiness and the steps you need to take to end your suffering.
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Didn't want it to End
- By Alika Davis on 05-13-19
By: Elaine O. Foster, and others
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Couples Therapy Workbook
- 30 Guided Conversations to Re-Connect Relationships
- By: Kathleen Mates-Youngman
- Narrated by: Kathleen Mates-Youngman
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The Couples Therapy Workbook: 30 Guided Conversations to Re-Connect Relationships is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful conversations between couples and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies, and 10 scripted questions to ask each other—all presented in an easy-to-use, mindful style.
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When Good People Have Affairs
- Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships
- By: Mira Kirshenbaum
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means.
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This book condones affairs
- By Summer Phillips on 06-18-18
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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Secure Love
- Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
- By: Julie Menanno
- Narrated by: Julie Menanno
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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What does a healthy relationship look like? A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like? The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships.
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I can fix myself.
- By Shirley on 09-27-24
By: Julie Menanno
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Getting Back Together: How to Reconcile with Your Partner - and Make It Last
- By: Bettie B Youngs, Masa Goetz, Suzy Farbman
- Narrated by: Daniel Francis
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Getting Back Together is the solid, comprehensive guide you can count on to get your relationship back on track. No matter what issues you may face, this step-by-step program shows you how to take the initiative, reconcile your differences, and remake your relationship - from the ground up. In this completely revised edition, Drs. Young and Goetz provide the most current studies and relationship evaluation tools available. They also include numerous inspiring real-life stories of couples that have resurrected and renewed their relationships.
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So amazing
- By tuth fairy on 08-30-19
By: Bettie B Youngs, and others
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
- What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
- By: Nic Saluppo
- Narrated by: Colin Kibler
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
What listeners say about I Want This to Work
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- gideon osei
- 10-17-22
Why isn't this mandatory?
This book and framework should be mandatory across the nation's high schools!!! I just can't believe in my forties how ill equipped we are to deal with relational issues and relationships. and I consider my 18 year marriage pretty dang good! This is by far one of the most important things we do in life and impacts every other area of our lives. I like her framework and the questions/activities. She gives very insightful exploration no matter what stage of a relationship one may be in. I believe it will help all relational interactions, not just the 'couples' type relationship.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Larry Leatherwood
- 06-20-22
Worthy read
Work on yourself first - then work on your relationships, and you will reap the benefits of this book. Highly recommend it to adults trying to find a companion, love, and a partnership without leaving themselves behind.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-05-24
Solid advice on successful relationships
My girlfriend and I (over 70) enjoyed the book. We learned some good pointers on overcoming past obstacles that affected us today. Really appreciated the Scripts section of the Appendix.
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1 person found this helpful
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- jaymillwood
- 02-24-22
Spectacular information
The author presents SO many wonderful concepts. I loved the information from the different sources and modalities that she shared.
This is a book that ANY couple Could use as a workbook, unfortunately it doesn’t quite translate with as much impact in audible form.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Robert B. Davis
- 01-19-22
Excellent content bereft of pdf
Excellent content, passionate and engaging narration. Exercises and appendix should be provided in pdf format.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Mr. Business
- 07-02-23
Shifted my perspective on everything.
Incredible book and has shifted my mindset. So many powerful tools and knowledge to be gained.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sunny Bettley
- 03-17-23
I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
It is taking every ounce of my physical and emotional determination to continue to listen to this book for the wonderful information that it contains. Unfortunately, the narrator sounds as if she is learning to read for the first time. The cadence is strange, her stresses and inflections are random and incredibly distracting, significantly taking away from the important info she is sharing. This author should never be allowed to narrate another book again, unless she can learn how to talk to adults in a way that doesn’t make one feel like a developmentally stunted child. It’s concerning to imagine whether she speaks to her clients this way in real life.
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4 people found this helpful