Trapped in the Mirror
Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
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Narrated by:
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Angela Brazil
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By:
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Elan Golomb
About this listen
The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people.
Trapped in the Mirror explores:
- The nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel
- Stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs
- Why so many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past
- How anger must be acknowledged to be overcome
- And, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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10 Conversations You Need to Have with Yourself
- A Powerful Plan for Spiritual Growth and Self-Improvement
- By: Shmuley Boteach
- Narrated by: Shmuley Boteach
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Some of the most effective talk therapy is self-talk therapy - learning to connect positively with that internal voice that serves as your own personal GPS to guide you through life. Rabbi Shmuley teaches the reader to reconnect with the inner voice of conscience, the source of personal dreams and values, which has been so drowned out by the noise of a culture that emphasizes form over substance, career over calling, and consumption over conviction. Drawing on Rabbi Shmuley's extensive counseling experience, this book helps you defeat negative self-talk.
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Grateful for inspiration, guidance and humility
- By Mike on 07-27-15
By: Shmuley Boteach
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Unrequited
- Women and Romantic Obsession
- By: Lisa A. Phillips
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned 30, she fell in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.
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Great book! So-so narrator....
- By ToluGrace on 04-14-15
By: Lisa A. Phillips
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
- Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
- By: Meg Meeker M.D.
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
By: Meg Meeker M.D.
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Love this book
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No tan clínico como esperaba
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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
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Its worth a listen.
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
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Love this book
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In this compelling book, the authors present an innovative therapeutic model for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglectful families - families the authors call narcissistic. Narcissistic families have a parental system that is, for whatever reason (job stress, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, physical disability, lack of parenting skills, self-centered immaturity), primarily involved in getting its own needs met.
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Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.
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Could be much shorter
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You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother
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This book changed my life
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The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink. If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life?
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Very Helpful
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Remarkably Enlightened
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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters
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The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful. You can emotionally separate without guilt: Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences.
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Had to return the book
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Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated
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When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy - even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries - usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring'. The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction.
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Now I have words for what happened to me as a kid
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Good book but not the audio version
- By ibekristi on 08-08-18
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Will the Drama Ever End?
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- By: Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A pioneer on the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse, Karyl McBride, PhD, has the answer for anyone desperate for help in overcoming the damage of being raised in a family headed by a narcissistic parent. Divided into three sections, McBride explores the insidious way a narcissistic environment is developed in a family, how a narcissistic parent damages a child’s emotional growth and ability to trust, and finally, how to not only move on but become truly free.
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Great book but worksheet?
- By Amazon Customer on 05-02-23
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Understanding the Borderline Mother
- Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
- By: Christine Ann Lawson
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
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- Unabridged
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The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
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It took me 45 years to finally know why my Mother is as she is.
- By Angela on 06-07-17
What listeners say about Trapped in the Mirror
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Clare Carvel
- 04-21-21
Life changing!
This book helped me understand the impact my mom’s narcissism had on me, and also how I inadvertently played out the legacy of narcissism while raising my daughter. It also had many helpful suggestions for changing my perspective and behavior going forward. Lots of good examples , some of which I related to. Five stars, in my opinion!!👍
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- A. Guhl
- 08-26-16
Groundbreaking book!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
I would recommend this book because of the excellent experience and insights of the author. It is an excellent look into the minds and hearts of the children of narcissists.
What does Angela Brazil bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
I love audio books in general because of my busy life. Angela's reading style is unique and I can understand how some might find it difficult but I did not. Angela's diction is excellent and her style of reading helped keep me focused on the content of the book. It helped me think through the word she was saying so that I can integrate the concepts into my life.
Any additional comments?
I'm listening to it a second time already after just finishing it. It is that important to me.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Andrew Secola
- 06-26-19
Life changing book.
I loved this book. It was recommended to me by my therapist, and I’m so glad she did. It was very eye opening, deeply personable and relatable. The narrators voice is very clear and soothing. I would recommend this book to those who may have a rocky relationship with their parents or spouses, and to the spouses/siblings of those who choose to read this book as it applies to them.
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- Matt Carter
- 10-01-19
Frustratingly Insightful
Great narrator, excellent resource for those interested in or exposed to narcissistic behavior. It exposes some of the pitfalls of Western culture and it's tendency to promote and foster narcissism.
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- Kindle Customer
- 07-13-22
spot on for me
one of the better books on the subject IMHO. Extremely helpful in understanding projection of NPD parent onto the child.
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- Anabelle Cardona
- 04-20-22
too drawn out and dramatic
it's too drawn out and dramatic. not only does this not give you clear information about narcissism in a straight forward way and then provide tales but also the writer randomly throws out that "narcissistic mothers are more common" but fails to state that if women weren't socially conditioned+ pushed to be mothers all the time then those abusive mothers could be something more productive like a manager or a CEO. men show more symptoms of narcissism overall and she failed to state that. she mostly focused on mothers being narcissistic when the fault is purely the idea that "women are made for motherhood" when it's completely false since everyone has their own personality and *gasp* women are people, not robots.
another thing I didn't like about this book is that there's no clear description about narcissism, it's written like a constant play. I could only stand listening to it for 4 hours until I realized that it wasn't actually helping me. It just seems like it was written for entertainment and not to give people help that they need.
I honestly just recommend your average narcissism book. some of these are just so cringey and scenic, like please just get to the point. it's not like I'm entertained by other people's suffering. I only bought the book to cope with the trauma after 10 years of abuse, it's written like fanfiction.
not to mention at the beginning of the book she kept swapping around the pronouns for absolutely no reason, just to prove the point "anyone can be a narcissist". Even when telling the origin of the word narcissist it was about a MAN who was obsessed with his own reflection, the author threw "she" and "her" in there to spice things up when it has no bearing on the original story. the reason it matters is for historical accuracy and it perpetuates the idea that mostly women are narcissistic when we literally have data to suggest that men are more narcissistic. it's like this person had a grudge towards women and ignored all the data we have on the topic.
so yes like I said it's written like flowery fanfiction. listening to it made me cringe, I read books for information I don't read them just to make myself look better, that's basically what this book was.
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2 people found this helpful
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- kennedy
- 07-06-24
This book is good for the children of narcissists
This book elegantly describes the effects of being raising by a narcissistic parent. Not only does this book give more than enough examples of what a narcissistic parent may look like it also shines a light on how the children of narcissistic can spot narcissistic behavior in themselves and work on being a better person.
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- Caligirl
- 08-25-17
Convoluted
I've read several books on this topic but this one was not as helpful as I'd hoped. The author makes some great points but they are hidden in long meandering narratives. The book is full of weird stories and examples that I don't think most people can relate to. The Narcissistic Family is a better book on this topic. Dont let the fact that it says its written for clinicians scare you away, it's very accessible for those of us interested in learning more about our families of origin and their dysfunction.
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- Linda Lefevre
- 10-12-18
A lot of examples
I liked the book and I liked the examples. I just think it could have been shortened because the listening time was 10 hours. I did like the last chapter best and did find it helpful.
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- Lewis & Carol Shields
- 12-15-18
Wonderful education!
Give hope for those that have had dealings with narcissistic people. very good overview of this problem
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