You and Your Adult Child
How to Grow Together in Challenging Times
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Narrated by:
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Laurence Steinberg
About this listen
A “wonderfully innovative” (Jennifer Senior, New York Times bestseller All Joy and No Fun), much-needed guide for parents of people in their twenties and thirties from one of the world’s leading developmental psychologists.
Your child is now an adult, but your job as a parent is far from over. Instead, your role must evolve to meet their ongoing, changing needs. But what exactly are these new needs? And why are they so different now than they were when you were a young adult?
This is the first comprehensive guide written for parents whose children are in two of the most crucial decades of life. Steinberg discusses topics as various as whether you should be involved in your child’s college education, how to behave when they unexpectedly must move back home, how to state your opinion on their romantic partners, what to do when you disagree with the way they are raising their own child, and what parameters to apply if you want to give them money for a home or startup. He answers such challenging questions as: When do I express my opinion and when should I bite my tongue? How do I know if my son is floundering? Is it okay to help my daughter with her grad school application? What should I do if my kid is getting seriously involved with someone I think is dangerous? We have been helping our twenty-five-year-old financially for the last few years, but how long is too long? How can I help my adult child through a difficult psychological time?
Leading psychologist Laurence Steinberg has devoted his forty-five-year career to researching parent-child relationships. Here, he provides some “must-read” (Martin Seligman, PhD, author of The Hope Circuit) principles to help parents with adult children think more intelligently about common issues, avoid minefields, weather the inevitable ups and downs, and create a stronger, happier, more effective bond with their child.
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Putting Children First
- Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
- By: JoAnne Pedro-Carroll
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
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As Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives. Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath.
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PERFECT RESOURCE FOR SEPARATED/DIVORCED
- By Ly on 10-13-16
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Generation Me
- Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled - and More Miserable Than Ever Before
- By: Jean M. Twenge PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
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In this provocative new book, psychologist and social commentator Dr. Jean Twenge documents the self-focus of what she calls "Generation Me" - people born in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Dr. Twenge explores why her generation is tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious but also cynical, depressed, lonely, and anxious. Dr. Twenge reveals how profoundly different today's young adults are - and makes controversial predictions about what the future holds for them and society as a whole.
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I mostly agree
- By David Hill on 05-25-20
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Stopping Stress Before It Stops You
- A Game Plan for Every Mom
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Lucille Cole
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
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You can reduce stress and enjoy your life! Homemaker, career woman, wife, supermom—sometimes the roles you have to fill all at once can get to be too much. Internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman has seen scores of women who are overcome by stress. With humor, insight, and practical solutions, this best-selling author helps you manage the six stress points in your life: kids, career, husband, housework, money, and crammed schedules.
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He assumes you're married to an idiot!
- By Karen on 06-04-11
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Wired for Wealth
- Change the Mindsets That Keep You Trapped and Unleash Your Wealth Potential
- By: Brad Klontz, Ted Klontz
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As financial stress mounts and an economic crash looms, Wired for Wealth shows you that the biggest threat to your financial health is not a recession; it's your brain. Markets go up and markets go down, but one fact holds true: Your money scripts - the unconscious core beliefs you hold about money - will determine whether you win or lose in the long run. But there is hope.
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Get this audiobook today!
- By Sebastien on 08-02-12
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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
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The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status.
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Must read for men
- By Brooks Rainey Pearson on 06-12-19
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
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One and Only
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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The Sibling Effect
- What the Bonds among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us
- By: Jeffrey Kluger
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
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Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters - not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we - and they - are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away.
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This is the only book I never finished
- By Rob on 06-25-12
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Getting to 50/50
- How Working Parents Can Have It All by Sharing It All - and Why It’s Good for Your Marriage, Your Career, Your Kids, and You
- By: Sharon Meers, Joanna Strober
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- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
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Overall
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Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals, wives, and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career, a great marriage, and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally - the man you married.
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Great overall, but a bit offensive...
- By Tristan Matthews on 01-09-15
By: Sharon Meers, and others
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
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What listeners say about You and Your Adult Child
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- poltroon
- 04-18-24
A fantastic read
There was nothing to dislike about this book. Any parent/grandparent of any age can get a lot of information and understanding from this wonderful book. The layout of the chapters, the clarity of the descriptions are so easy to read and understand. I’m in my 80’s, have two children in their 50’s and no grandchildren but I learned so
Much about what I did right (and some not so). I just wish this book had been around 40+ years ago. I have told many younger friends about it. It is a must read and the nice thing is I consider it an easy and informative one! Thanks for producing this book.
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- Kathleen Bonilla
- 04-03-24
Just what I needed
Having 3 adult children, at different stages in life I definitely needed the advice of this book. Great read.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-23-23
A must-read book
Dr. Steinberg, in ‘You and Your ADULT CHILD’ new book, draws upon decades of wisdom and research, to better understand the dynamics of parents and their adult children, which I have not read in any other book before.
As a young adult myself, I found fascinating the ways we can learn to navigate new milestones while transitioning onto young adulthood, which are no longer relevantly compared to those generations ago! Dr. Steinberg's advice certainly will facilitate the bond between me and my mother, in these challenging times, which wasn’t the case when our parents grew up.
As a young scholar, I better understand the mediating and moderating effects of parental processes on the associations between adult individuation, and mental health outcomes.
For parents that are parenting their adult children, it gives practical advice for most things, and understand how the parental role has changed. Learn how to be involved in your child's life, without being intrusive, learn how to facilitate individuation without hindering autonomy granting, and be there when adult children need you yet respect their own adult roles. Learn how to resolve disputes constructively, as ‘When you and your adult child are in a war, nobody wins’.
Find out the ‘When I was your age’ phrase where it stands in this fast-growing society.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all ☺️
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julie E Warpool
- 06-19-23
Very helpful
Enjoyed all the perspectives from the stage we are now to stages we’ve been through and stages yet to come. Seems like the author is a very wise coach.
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- Jorge Gaete
- 04-21-24
Well structure and researched
I did like the structure, the topic and the recommendations, specially because it is difficult to find books about this topic.
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- lidia
- 07-11-24
You and your adult child
The author writes concise advise. Recommend this material for all to learn true modern day delemas we face with our adult children.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Tig
- 10-28-23
Nothing new
Just about everything in this book is stuff you've heard before and common sense. Nothing new
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