But What Will People Say?
Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures
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Narrated by:
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Sahaj Kaur Kohli MAEd LGPC
About this listen
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“Loving, culturally informed, and holistic... [Kohli] compassionately shares her own story, and guides readers through the nuances and pain of assimilation, individuation, and mental health. How I wish I had this book back when I was trying to figure it all out for myself!”—Ramani Durvasula, PhD, author of It’s Not You
A deeply personal, paradigm-shifting book rethinking traditional therapy and self-care, creating much-needed space for those left out of the narrative
Writer and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli grew up knowing exactly what it means to straddle multiple cultures at once. Like many children of immigrants, she has often found herself plagued by questions: Can I establish my own values and embrace where I come from? Is prioritizing my mental health really rejecting my culture? How do I set boundaries and care for myself when family and community mean everything? Even after becoming a therapist herself, she saw those same gaps in the mental health world, leading her to wonder, like so many children of immigrants: what about us?
While conversations around mental health are becoming increasingly open, our models remain largely Eurocentric and focused on individuality. Sahaj has sought to challenge these long-held models, using deep personal reflection, therapy, community building, and a whole lot of trial and error, eventually navigating her own way to understanding and acceptance. Here, she shows us how to get there, all the while reminding us that personal healing is inextricably connected to collective healing.
But What Will People Say? elegantly weaves together personal narrative, anecdotal analysis, and comprehensive research. Sahaj offers advice and tools for everything from navigating generational trauma, guilt, and boundaries, to breaking down stigmas around therapy and celebrating cultural duality. Democratizing and decolonizing the way we think about mental health and self-help, Sahaj’s incredible work is nothing short of a revolution.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of tables and exercises from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Sahaj Kaur Kohli (P)2024 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“As a therapist and journalist, [Kohli] has explored the struggles of children of immigrants searching for what’s normal and where they can fit in...It’s the book she longed for in her youth; hopefully, it will be a guide for others facing similar challenges.”—Booklist
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate. At times it was as if I were reading my own story, now equipped with the tools to understand and thrive in this confusing world.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“For those of us who straddle cultures and countries, it can often feel like we don’t really know who we are, where we belong, and what feels truly authentic to us. Sahaj Kaur Kohli understands this intimately and gives us language to understand our experiences, and tools to help us bridge our personal need for individuation with our cultural needs for community. For children of immigrants looking to do the intergenerational work of healing, decolonization, and collective liberation, this book is a must read.”—Layla F. Saad, New York Times bestselling author of Me and White Supremacy
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The 13 chapters of The Art of War, each devoted to one aspect of warfare, were compiled by the high-ranking Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher Sun-Tzu. In spite of its battlefield specificity, The Art of War has found new life in the modern age, with leaders in fields as wide and far-reaching as world politics, human psychology, and corporate strategy finding valuable insight in its timeworn words.
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Nemo71 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
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Take Control of Your Life
- How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
By: Mel Robbins
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Self Help
- This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein, Richard C. Schwartz - foreword
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein, Richard C. Schwartz - foreword
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
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Are you ready to unlock the greatest resource of your life? Gabby Bernstein has written the ultimate self-help guide, offering a revolutionary practice to radically shift your core beliefs and connect you to an infallible inner guidance system: the energy of Self within you. In this groundbreaking book, Gabby demystifies the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, taking its life-changing teachings out of the therapist’s office and into your everyday life.
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Self Serving
- By pricefreund on 01-14-25
By: Gabrielle Bernstein, and others
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F*ck Him!
- Nice Girls Always Finish Single
- By: Brian Keephimattracted, Brian Nox
- Narrated by: Jerod McBrayer
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The MANipulator manual. Keep your man interested and begging for more without playing games. So many women get in trouble in their love lives, and 99.9 percent of that trouble could have been avoided if they'd said "Well, f**k him!" a bit more often. Too many women are way too nice and compliant to their men, especially when these men don't deserve that kind of treatment. I, as a dating coach and author of books for women who want to get men, cannot take it anymore.
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...
- By Emma R. on 02-01-18
By: Brian Keephimattracted, and others
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You Will Not Recognize Your Life
- By: Micaela Blei
- Narrated by: Micaela Blei
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
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It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
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This is about real life.
- By Justin Ortgies on 12-14-24
By: Micaela Blei
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
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Overall
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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Worthy
- How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
- By: Jamie Kern Lima
- Narrated by: Jamie Kern Lima
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
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Performance
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
- By Diana Yin on 02-22-24
By: Jamie Kern Lima
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Models
- Attract Women Through Honesty
- By: Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
By: Mark Manson
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
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Overall
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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For women, the possibility of experiencing medical gaslighting—having a healthcare provider dismiss or ignore their concerns without considering appropriate testing or creating a treatment plan—has always been a very real and present danger, with consequences ranging from self-doubt and emotional stress to delayed diagnosis and death. And being a woman of color, transgender, or disabled only compounds the risk. In Medical Gaslighting, you’ll equip yourself with the tools you need to be fully heard at every step of the process.
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Riley is so confident and kind, and she and Valerie bond quickly over existing as multiracial teens in a very white Christian community. As Valerie explores her feelings for Riley, she begins to see that the world she knows is a carefully crafted narrative. Publicly, the girls are close friends—holding hands in prayer, rooming together at a conference. Privately, they grasp at any chance to continue their forbidden romance—until they are found out. Now, Valerie must choose between staying with a family she fears will never accept her, or running away with the girl she loves.
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Stunning debut
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By: Natalie Naudus
What listeners say about But What Will People Say?
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- MrsK
- 01-03-25
Was she talking to me?
This should be a mandatory read for all immigrants & their families. So many moments as she narrated her story, I thought, “Is she talking to me???” I enjoyed the lessons, exercises intermingled with her honesty & vulnerability of her life experiences. Great work!
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- A. Osorio
- 10-31-24
I am her, and she is me
as a first generation Mexican American, several parts of this book is so relatable. the pain and the revelations alike. prepare to look inside yourself and give yourself grace. prepare to be seen if you feel like you've lived the majority of your life on the sidelines. Thank you, Sahaj
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- afti
- 06-12-24
Must read
Great book for 1st gen readers to navigate difficult conversations with family. Resonates a lot with my circumstances
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- Palak Bajaj
- 12-27-24
Extremely Relatable — Hits
Amazing listen that showcases the emotion surrounding the upbringing of any brown woman in America
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