But What Will People Say?
Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures
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Narrated by:
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Sahaj Kaur Kohli MAEd LGPC
About this listen
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“Loving, culturally informed, and holistic... [Kohli] compassionately shares her own story, and guides readers through the nuances and pain of assimilation, individuation, and mental health. How I wish I had this book back when I was trying to figure it all out for myself!”—Ramani Durvasula, PhD, author of It’s Not You
A deeply personal, paradigm-shifting book rethinking traditional therapy and self-care, creating much-needed space for those left out of the narrative
Writer and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli grew up knowing exactly what it means to straddle multiple cultures at once. Like many children of immigrants, she has often found herself plagued by questions: Can I establish my own values and embrace where I come from? Is prioritizing my mental health really rejecting my culture? How do I set boundaries and care for myself when family and community mean everything? Even after becoming a therapist herself, she saw those same gaps in the mental health world, leading her to wonder, like so many children of immigrants: what about us?
While conversations around mental health are becoming increasingly open, our models remain largely Eurocentric and focused on individuality. Sahaj has sought to challenge these long-held models, using deep personal reflection, therapy, community building, and a whole lot of trial and error, eventually navigating her own way to understanding and acceptance. Here, she shows us how to get there, all the while reminding us that personal healing is inextricably connected to collective healing.
But What Will People Say? elegantly weaves together personal narrative, anecdotal analysis, and comprehensive research. Sahaj offers advice and tools for everything from navigating generational trauma, guilt, and boundaries, to breaking down stigmas around therapy and celebrating cultural duality. Democratizing and decolonizing the way we think about mental health and self-help, Sahaj’s incredible work is nothing short of a revolution.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of tables and exercises from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Sahaj Kaur Kohli (P)2024 Penguin AudioCritic reviews
“As a therapist and journalist, [Kohli] has explored the struggles of children of immigrants searching for what’s normal and where they can fit in...It’s the book she longed for in her youth; hopefully, it will be a guide for others facing similar challenges.”—Booklist
“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate. At times it was as if I were reading my own story, now equipped with the tools to understand and thrive in this confusing world.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
“For those of us who straddle cultures and countries, it can often feel like we don’t really know who we are, where we belong, and what feels truly authentic to us. Sahaj Kaur Kohli understands this intimately and gives us language to understand our experiences, and tools to help us bridge our personal need for individuation with our cultural needs for community. For children of immigrants looking to do the intergenerational work of healing, decolonization, and collective liberation, this book is a must read.”—Layla F. Saad, New York Times bestselling author of Me and White Supremacy
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Sex, money, religion...all topics that we’re told to avoid in polite company. But exactly the kind of conversations you should be having with your bestie, according to best friends of more than 20 years, Mae Martin (Feel Good) and Sabrina Jalees (Roast Battle). Romantic couples are often guided through the conversations they should be having before committing to each other–but what are the topics that best friends should be covering to truly get to know each other?
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Hilarrrrious & very gay
- By Autumn Hurd on 12-13-24
By: Mae Martin, and others
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What Will People Think?
- A Novel
- By: Sara Hamdan
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Equal parts funny and tender, What Will People Think? is a heart-bursting exploration of what it means to discover and embrace the hidden parts of yourself, and how love in all forms can make you whole.
By: Sara Hamdan
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Where I Belong
- Healing Trauma and Embracing Asian American Identity
- By: Soo Jin Lee, Linda Yoon
- Narrated by: Jeena Yi, Catherine Ho, Will Dao
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Coauthors Soo Jin Lee and Linda Yoon are professional therapists who witnessed firsthand how mental health issues often went unaddressed not only in their own immigrant families, but in Asian and Asian American communities. Where I Belong shows us how the cycle of trauma can play out in our relationships, placing Asian American experiences front and center to help us process and heal from racial and intergenerational trauma.
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exellent
- By jeri on 04-21-24
By: Soo Jin Lee, and others
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Meditations for Mortals
- Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts
- By: Oliver Burkeman
- Narrated by: Oliver Burkeman
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Addressing the fundamental questions about how to live, Meditations for Mortals offers a powerful new way to take action on what counts: a guiding philosophy of life Oliver Burkeman calls “imperfectionism.” It helps us tackle challenges as they crop up in our daily lives: our finite time, the lure of distraction, the impossibility of doing anything perfectly.
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Surprisingly profound
- By JG on 10-24-24
By: Oliver Burkeman
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Disability Intimacy
- Essays on Love, Care, and Desire
- By: Alice Wong
- Narrated by: full cast
- Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What is intimacy? More than sex, more than romantic love, the pieces in this stunning and illuminating new anthology offer broader and more inclusive definitions of what it can mean to be intimate with another person. Explorations of caregiving, community, access, and friendship offer us alternative ways of thinking about the connections we form with others—a vital reimagining in an era when forced physical distance is at times a necessary norm.
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Great mix of perspectives
- By Alyssum M. Pohl on 08-13-24
By: Alice Wong
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Worthy
- How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
- By: Jamie Kern Lima
- Narrated by: Jamie Kern Lima
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Jamie Kern Lima's first, instant New York Times bestselling book Believe It, captured her journey of going from Denny's waitress to billion-dollar entrepreneur by learning to believe in herself. And now her second, much-anticipated, upcoming book Worthy, is the playbook for how YOU can believe in YOU! If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt like you don't have what it takes...or that who you truly are isn't enough, even if you're really good at hiding it from the world, WORTHY is for you.
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💫 We're so WORTHY! 🦋 Listen - Read - Share 🔆
- By Diana Yin on 02-22-24
By: Jamie Kern Lima
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Decolonizing Therapy
- Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice
- By: Jennifer Mullan PsyD
- Narrated by: Carmen Jewel Jones
- Length: 17 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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An essential work that centers colonial and historical trauma in a framework for healing, Decolonizing Therapy illuminates that all therapy is—and always has been—inherently political. To better understand the mental health oppression and institutional violence that exists today, we must become familiar with the root of disembodiment from our histories, homelands, and healing practices. Only then will listeners see how colonial, historical, and intergenerational legacies have always played a role in the treatment of mental health.
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The content is great and the book is well written. BUT…
- By Melissa Rae on 08-26-24
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It's Not You
- Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
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I needed this
- By Austin E. Jonas Jr. on 03-02-24
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Minor Feelings
- An Asian American Reckoning
- By: Cathy Park Hong
- Narrated by: Cathy Park Hong
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Poet and essayist Cathy Park Hong fearlessly and provocatively blends memoir, cultural criticism, and history to expose fresh truths about racialized consciousness in America. Part memoir and part cultural criticism, this collection is vulnerable, humorous, and provocative—and its relentless and riveting pursuit of vital questions around family and friendship, art and politics, identity and individuality, will change the way you think about our world.
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Essential
- By Realness on 03-04-20
By: Cathy Park Hong
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The Twentieth Wife
- By: Indu Sundaresan
- Narrated by: Sneha Mathan
- Length: 14 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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An enchanting historical epic of grand passion and adventure, this debut novel tells the captivating story of one of India's most controversial empresses, a woman whose brilliance and determination trumped myriad obstacles and whose love shaped the course of the Mughal Empire.
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Exquisite Exposition
- By Pamela on 05-10-07
By: Indu Sundaresan
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The Pain We Carry
- Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color
- By: Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, Jennifer Mullan PsyD - foreword
- Narrated by: L. Malaika Cooper
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Pain We Carry, you'll find powerful tools to help you understand and begin healing from repeated trauma. You'll discover ways to feel safer in your body, build self-compassion and resilience, and reclaim your health and wellness by reconnecting with your sense of self and your ancestral wisdom. You'll learn how trauma is connected to grief, how it can affect both the mind and the body, and how it can persist from one generation to the next.
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Affirming
- By Yaz on 06-15-23
By: Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT, and others
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Supercommunicators
- How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
- By: Charles Duhigg
- Narrated by: Charles Duhigg
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Come inside a jury room as one juror leads a starkly divided room to consensus. Join a young CIA officer as he recruits a reluctant foreign agent. And sit with an accomplished surgeon as he tries, and fails, to convince yet another cancer patient to opt for the less risky course of treatment. In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg blends deep research and his trademark storytelling skills to show how we can all learn to identify and leverage the hidden layers that lurk beneath every conversation.
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Some nuggets of Gold in there if you’re patient
- By Brett Bitting on 03-18-24
By: Charles Duhigg
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Gay the Pray Away
- By: Natalie Naudus
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Riley is so confident and kind, and she and Valerie bond quickly over existing as multiracial teens in a very white Christian community. As Valerie explores her feelings for Riley, she begins to see that the world she knows is a carefully crafted narrative. Publicly, the girls are close friends—holding hands in prayer, rooming together at a conference. Privately, they grasp at any chance to continue their forbidden romance—until they are found out. Now, Valerie must choose between staying with a family she fears will never accept her, or running away with the girl she loves.
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A story full of hope
- By Chloe Zwiacher on 06-17-24
By: Natalie Naudus
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Medical Gaslighting
- How to Get the Care You Deserve in a System That Makes You Fight for Your Life
- By: Ilana Jacqueline
- Narrated by: Lori Prince
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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For women, the possibility of experiencing medical gaslighting—having a healthcare provider dismiss or ignore their concerns without considering appropriate testing or creating a treatment plan—has always been a very real and present danger, with consequences ranging from self-doubt and emotional stress to delayed diagnosis and death. And being a woman of color, transgender, or disabled only compounds the risk. In Medical Gaslighting, you’ll equip yourself with the tools you need to be fully heard at every step of the process.
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This should be required reading
- By Amazshop .222222 on 10-02-24
By: Ilana Jacqueline
What listeners say about But What Will People Say?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- A. Osorio
- 10-31-24
I am her, and she is me
as a first generation Mexican American, several parts of this book is so relatable. the pain and the revelations alike. prepare to look inside yourself and give yourself grace. prepare to be seen if you feel like you've lived the majority of your life on the sidelines. Thank you, Sahaj
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- afti
- 06-12-24
Must read
Great book for 1st gen readers to navigate difficult conversations with family. Resonates a lot with my circumstances
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